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“WHAT DO YOU MEAN “YOU’RE OUT”!”
It was our first tour. We were in New York city and yesterday Dave had tried to fight two bouncers at once. If it wasn’t for our manager, he’d probably be in the hospital now.
“Look, man, your behavior is intolerable and you know it.”
Lars tried his best to deescalate.
“We booked you a greyhound back to San Francisco. Here’s the ticket.”
“SHOVE YOUR STUPID TICKET UP YOUR ASS! What the fuck did I even do?”
“Well two days ago you almost beat James into the hospital-”
“Oh, come on, don’t be a pussy! He kicked my dog! Don't act like I'm the unreasonable one.”
“Dave, you don’t hit girls, why would you hit your boyfriend?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend because I’m not gay, Cliff.”
“Okay, but you still almost beat our singer into the hospital. Besides that, you almost exclusively drink beer, you pick fights with everyone and you spend our money on drugs. Also you keep pissing everywhere and that’s gross.”
“Well cry me a river.”
Dave’s voice had returned to it’s normal pitch. Every time he got angry, his voice turned into an earsplitting screech. I don’t know how he does that.
“We are serious. Please leave.”
“Fucking make me, you gnome.”
Dave took a step towards Lars.
“Just be an adult for once and accept it. Here’s the ticket, there’s the door.”
“And here’s my fist.”
To this day I still don’t know how I managed to move so fast. I grabbed Dave and threw him down before he could get to Lars.
“Ow my back.”
It felt kind of bad to see Dave like this but only kind of.
“That’s for the black eye. Now get out of here.”
“Well look who finally grew some balls.”
Dave picked himself up again, snatched the ticket from Lars’ hand. I never forgot that twinkle in his eyes. Like a predator eyeing up his prey. The door slammed shut behind him.
“Thanks, man. Finally he’s gone.”
“He’s unpredictable. Sooner or later he would have killed one of us or himself. James did he hit you often?”
“Not really, but when he did it was hard. He’s not a bad guy, he just has problems. And he’s a bit clumsy when he’s drunk.”
“You sound a battered housewife.”
Dave actually did take the bus. When we came home again, his stuff was gone. It didn’t look like he had done anything weird to the apartment. Lars didn’t trust the calm and took the place apart. He searched the kitchen, his bedroom and even the bathroom.
“Hey Cliff, I need to search the couch.”
“I really hope he didn’t do anything to it, I have to sleep on that. Did he do something to your room, James?”
“Didn’t look yet.”
“You probably should, you what he’s like best.”
The room was basically untouched. If anything it was less messy without all of Dave’s stuff. The only thing missing was my old suitcase. Thinking about it, he never brought all of his stuff all at once.
“Everything alright?”
“Yea. Where do you think Dave is now?”
“Don’t care. You got an idea where Kirk’s gonna sleep?”
“I think there’s a mattress in the basement. Should work for the moment.”
I helped Kirk check the mattress for mold and get the thing upstairs. We set it up in a corner of the kitchen/living room.
“Sorry for the shoddy arrangement. I’m sure we’ll figure out something better soon. Maybe we could check the charity shops for a frame.”
“Don’t sweat it, James. I’ve slept in worse places.”
“Dave and I shared a room cause the mattress gave him back pain.”
Kirk shot me a weird look.
“I thought he had his own place.”
“No, he lived here. We were really close but his behavior was absolutely intolerable.”
“And you two shared a bed?”
“We used to live in a much crappier apartment. It was a struggle to pay rent every month.”
“Sure. Dave seems like a dick, why did you keep him around so long?”
“Cuz he was fokin’ James and apparently he’s a good lay.”
“Fuck off, Lars.”
“It’s true! And don’t try to deny it, I saw you guys cuddle while you were sleeping! These guys were taking showers together. Took ages for them to get done.”
“I’m serious shut up!”
“Okay, sorry man.”
The eye roll was almost audible. Luckily, Kirk didn’t press on. He turned out out to be a really sweet and accepting guy. I wasn’t really ready to talk about it either.