Chapter Text
John turns in his seat at the sound of slippers and socks on tile, greeting his teammates with an exhausted nod as they filter into the kitchen. When he looks down however, his plate is more barren. His eyes dart to the vacant space where his perfect and steaming eggs had been only a second ago.
He shifts in his chair, eyes darting around the table to find the thief, even though he doesn’t need to. The culprit is irritatingly obvious. Sure enough, Bucky slides into the chair beside him, face still and stoic as ever. Mounted on his fork though is John’s eggs that he drops onto his plate.
“That is the third time this week you’ve taken my eggs, Bucky.” John grits out, turning to face him with a tone that’s half-snide, half-exhausted.
The usual shuffle of chairs, mugs, and utensils fill the silence as the rest of the team take their seats around the table. They are all far too used to this routine.
“They’re good eggs.” Bucky says simply as he cuts a piece of scrambled perfection without even sparing John a glance. He eats the piece with quiet satisfaction while an indignant John stares.
“If you want me to make you eggs, you can ask.” John mutters under his breath, spearing the sausage in his place with unnecessary force. With the supersolider serum running through him, it's a surprise the plate doesn’t crack.
“There’s a perfectly good plate here.” Bucky replies smoothly, gesturing with the very fork that’s stabbed into John’s stolen meal.
John’s face tightens as a retort forms in his throat, but before it can escape, and routine breakfast drama can escalate much to everyone’s chagrin, the kitchen door slides open.
“Good morning.” Mel chirps, but the attempt at cheer sounds only half-hearted. Even at this early hour, her attire is already perfectly corporate. Her gaze lingers on the bickering pair for a moment, recognizing the eggs fiasco. She sighs before returning to look at her tablet and whatever may be on it. She clutches it like a shield as she scrolls, tapping quickly. “Meeting room at ten. New mission.”
An awkward pause. Nobody moves.
“New big mission.” She quickly amends with a brief glance up but to the same reaction.
“What? This early in the morning?” Yelena groans, throwing herself back in her chair with a dramatic flair, her spoon hovering mid air like the announcement ruined her whole appetite and perhaps general morning.
“Just for Walker and Bucky.” Mel adds in between glances as she drags something on her tablet.
John goes rigid in chair. He turns to Bucky, and watches as his brow tenses slightly. He calmly spears another bite of egg, chewing with the deliberate patience of someone who refuses to be rattled.
“Thank you Mel.” Bucky says, finally turning to her. They trade half smiles. Mel then slips out of the room, tablet snug in her arms.
When the door shuts behind her, a silence lingers long enough for the team to share glances.
“What do you think this special meeting is about?” Ava chuffs from the coffee machine, steam hissing as she pries her mug free.
“Maybe Valentina is going to lecture Walker about always getting injured. You’re costing her a lot of money in medical bills.” Yelena teases, taking the cup that Ava was offering her. She dumps far too much sugar into it with gleeful drowsiness, tossing John a grin over the rim as she sips.
“Mission, not meeting. She said ‘mission’.” Bob hazily murmurs, his attention fixed on his bowl of cereal. He pours milk over his cereal before pouring it into his coffee.
“Whatever it will be, we will help you with it.” Alexei proclaims in his booming, earnest way that is far too loud for the morning but endearing enough that they don’t care to tell him to tone it down. He pats both of them on the shoulder, before he reaches over the table to fetch the pepper in the middle. “Even if Valentina does not approve.” He ends with a cheeky grin.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” John says with a mouthful of sausage with no egg.
***
John and Bucky walk into the meeting room silently, both steps slow with mutual reluctance. The air already feels tight and manufactured. It’s far too bright and polished. What greets them nearly makes both groan aloud. Valentina stands poised at the head of the table, a PR friendly smile on her face.
“Good morning you two.” She beams with sardonic cheer. The two shuffle into the only two open seats, unfortunately right beside each other.
“Early meeting, I know, but there’s no time like the present,” Valetnina says smoothly as she slides into her seat, hands folded delicately over her lap. Her gaze flicks over to Mel, who clicks and drags desperately on her tablet, clearly trying to pull some file up.
“Not to mention that you two have a very important PR announcement later today.” Mel adds quickly under her breath, almost too fast for them to register.
“PR announcement?” John asks, but no response. He looks to Bucky who simply shrugs back with the same stern but puzzled look.
Valentina clasps her hands together. “I’m assigning you boys a very important mission. Temporarily named Operation R.E.S.T.”
“REST?” Bucky asks drily, brow quirking. John’s eyes flick to him then Valentina, the same question poking at him.
“Reconnaissance in Embedded Spousal Tranquility.” Mel recites crisply without looking up from her screen. “You’ll be doing more than reconnaissance, however.”
Walker leans over the table, incredulous. “Wait, ‘Spousal Tranquility’?”
Valentina as she clears throat, like she's brushing over some minute, insignificant detail. “This mission is targeting Andrew Delve, police captain. He has links to a local underground criminal ring we’ve been trying to track down for months.” She pauses, expecting the usually snarky comments and concerned questions. Neither of them speak however, both still stuck on ‘Spousal Tranquility’.
“The problem,” She continues, voice still perfectly controlled and even, “is that Mr. Delve’s connections to the underworld are almost impossible to pin down. He lives an extremely average life. White picket fence, loving wife suburbia. He’s hiding his influence in plain sight. If we want evidence and leads, we need to speak his language." She pauses again, basically prompting them to preen.
“And how do we do that?” Walker asks, voice tight, as though he already knows he won’t like the answer.
“By moving in next door. He’s beloved by his community, so you two will be moving into his suburb for three, maybe four months.” Her tone is far too casual for both of their likings.
“He’ll know we’re there to monitor him.” Bucky puts flatly and fact-of-the-matter, like he’s poking a giant hole in her seamless plan.
“Not if you say you two were on break. Walker sustained a pretty serious injury to his arms last mission, right?” Valentina’s smile is predatory, too sly. She loves to see them writhe in their seats at this plan.
“I did,” Walker bites defensively. “But I healed. OXE paid the medical bill.” He adds a faux sarcastic half-smile at the end.
“The public doesn’t know that,” She counters, standing and pacing back and forth. Then, her eyes sharpen and her smile lifts. It’s a look of bright impertinence both recognized and hate. “And who has the public always seen patching you up after each fight?” She stops in her tracks, and swerves her head to Bucky. A pause. They trade silent yet daring eye contact.
John and Bucky share a pained glance.
“TLDR, Walker is injured and needs time away. So he moves to the suburbs, away from the crime fighting life. Bucky moves in with him, looking after him and his wounds. Why?” Valentina draws out each word with schadenfreude, savoring the pause before the strike. She turns with perfect timing to Mel.
“You two are secret lovers.” Mel supplies drily, still focused on her tablet and refusing to look up.
The silence that follows is deafening. Nobody flinches, let alone moves. The fluorescent lights above sound louder than they should be.
“You’re kidding right?” John finally blurts, pushing up from his chair so fast it screeches against the floor. His chest tightens, it feels like his ribs clamping down on his insides.
“About this mission that could very well unravel one of the largest criminal undergrounds in the country? Of course not." Valentina waves her hand dismissively, her voice clear and calm. Walker's chest only constricts tighter.
“I can’t. We can’t. This is insane.” His voice comes out in clipped counts, processing all of this in terrible chunks.
He sharply turns to Bucky, who is also standing now. “This mission won’t work.” Bucky’s voice borders on a growl. “Nobody will believe the lovey dovey act, let alone Delve. Why not two people who can stand each other? Yelena and Bob. Or Yelena and Alexei if you want to spin it in a more faminal way.”
Valentina doesn’t flinch. If anything, her maliciously amused smile only stretches. “Polls are down for you two. Both of you are the least endeared to the public. Think about this mission as a PR tour too. Play this well and maybe they’ll stop giving you snide looks on the street.”
“Our numbers also show that the public love a good domestic redemption arc.” Mel supplies in a monotone voice.
John’s jaw flexes. “So that’s it? Tell us to play family?-”
“You two have a press announcement at 4pm,” Valentina steamrolls, her voice rising just enough to cut over him. “Where you’ll announce your departure for the time being. For now, it’s ‘a few weeks recovery’. An injury that ‘not even the serum could fix’.”
“I’ve just sent you a full packet PDF. Moving logistics, PR strategies, media appearances, community events. Everything from which local restaurants to be surprisingly photographed to to a list of Mr. Delve’s most personal connections.” Mel lists blankly.
Valentina walks around the table and stands only a few feet away from the two, both look like they are about to lunge or shoot at her. She leans in, voice low and dripping with something venomous. “Sell this, and we can take Delve down. Don’t, and our golden window is gone. Isn’t that what you want? To take down the bad guys? And let’s not forget,” She pauses again, relishing in their tempers.
“This is also your chance to change the narrative. To stop those headlines? Those lengthy articles?” As she speaks, her eyes linger on John too long. He shifts in his boots.
The room is dead quiet again.
And her words sink into John like a sword. He loathes her, though not as nearly as he loathes her accuracy. John felt a deep ache as she had truly cornered him.
Bucky exhales, slow and heavy. He flexes his jaw before he finally speaks. “Fine.” His eyes burn with annoyance. “But I hate this. And if there was any other way, I’d take it.” He finishes, voice restraining something much hotter and larger.
John jerks his head towards him, shock breaking through the frustration etched across his face. He hadn’t expected Bucky to fold quickly to this.
Before John can reach out and ‘reason’ for a different method, Bucky is already out of the room. Valentina simply looks at him one last time, the same controlled expression still on her face, and leaves with Mel following behind her.
***
John follows behind Bucky, his boots heavy on the floor. The thought of the mission sat heavy on John’s chest. No matter how many times he replayed Valetina’s words in his head, they didn’t sound any less absurd. Him and Barnes. Pretending. Together. For Months.
Eventually, after turning every corner in this building that's too large for its own good, he finds Bucky in the common room. He takes a pause in the doorframe to observe the other. He’s sitting on the couch, hunched over with his head down as shadows spill over his face. His fists are balled, clenched so tight that his knuckles turn white.
“Bucky, are you…” John starts, though he trails off when Bucky’s head snaps up with the sharpness of a blade.
“I’m fine.” Bucky bites, far too firm.
John scoffs, unimpressed. “Clearly.”
“I’m always like this.” Bucky defends.
John crosses over and sinks into the chair nearest to the couch. He adjusts himself comfortably, elbows casually propped up on the armrests. He watches Bucky across him carefully like he’s about to bolt.
A long silence stretches between them. Bucky doesn’t move, doesn’t blink. Neither does John. But both can feel the tension radiating off the other.
Eventually, John speaks, though his voice is very precise and delicate. “I’ve seen you keep it together under fire. You faced the Flag Smasher without a second thought. You’ve bled and never flinched. So if this ‘Spousal Tranquility’ mission this is what gets you like,” He gestures vaguely in his direction with a concerned grimace. “This. Then you can maybe talk to me about it.” He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m in the same hole too.” John knew that his tone slowly drifted to sheepish, his own hypocrisy cutting back his words.
Bucky slowly looks at him, jaw still clenched. For a second, John thinks that Bucky won’t answer. So it catches him off guard when Bucky mutters lowly, “I don’t hate the fact that it’s you.”
John blinks.
Bucky’s gaze grows darker, his brow tightening. “I hate how she has such an upper hand on me.” He says through grit teeth, choking on anger that he’s been trying to contain for the whole run of the New Avengers/Thunderbolts. He sucks in a breath and amends quietly, “On us.”
“Well, we can hate this and her together.” John adds in an attempt of awkward camaraderie, voice is choked and stiff.
“Great.” Bucky murmurs, though there’s a faint lift in tone. He leans back on the couch, eyes narrowing. “What do I call you?”
“Sorry?”
Bucky tilts his head with mock thoughtfulness. “Dear? Darling? Babe?” His voice is dripping with deadpan sarcasm.
“Haha, very funny.” John groans. Bucky almost smirks before glancing away.
“The team's gonna have a field day with this.” John grimaces and Bucky’s dark expression returns suddenly. The thought hangs over the two of them like a storm. John winces, picturing Yelena’s grin and Alexei’s booming support.
Bucky can only sigh in response, pinching the bridge of his nose as his shoulder slack.
***
Valentina summoned everyone to the meeting room for a second time, this time to prepare the whole team for the upcoming press announcement. She and Mel laid out each detail with clinical preparation to the sound of rising snickering, while Bucky and John sat stiffly.
There was no silence once they finished their briefing.
“Wait- what? That’s the mission?” Yelena chokes on her water, coughing as she breaks out into a smile of disbelief. She isn’t sure this is real.
“Are you kidding me?” Ava adds, leaning back in her chair. “They get to play house while the rest of us get our ass handed to us in missions?”
“It’s not a vacation.” Valentina sharply corrects. “They’ll still be observing Delve. They’ll still be needing to fill out mission reports daily. This is work.”
“Oh, of course not.” Yelena says with a saccharine smile. “Yes, barbeques, book club, and gardening is really hard work.” She nods along sarcastically. Beside her, Bob nods along silently in agreement, utterly straight-faced.
“It’s not funny.” John's jaw felt like it was locking from all the pressure.
“No, it is not.” Alexei starts, and John already feels worried about what’s going to come his mouth next. “Love is never funny.”
John shuts his eyes, it’s exactly what he feared. Bucky rubs his temples with exasperation. He’s regretting every life choice that’s led him here.
“Cheers to our new couple!” Ava proudly boasts, clapping her hands together. The rest of their team joins in with mock-toasts and applause.
Just as the terrible cheers die down, Bob pipes up suddenly. “Wait, we have to sell it right?” He furrows his brow in thought. “Does that mean we make up anecdotes about them to the press?”
John and Bucky give each other a look of dread as Valetina’s smile sharpens. “So long as they are believable.”
That’s all it takes for them to start plotting much to the pair's growing displeasure.