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When her lips leave his, Claire feels unexpectedly empty. She should feel happy, glittery, and magical, like everything in the world had happened at once in those few short seconds. But she doesn't. And that bothers her more than a little.
Prince Thane grins at her, and she feels like she should smile back, so she does, but it couldn't feel any more fake.
Claire can't help but think of how she always feels like smiling around Rae, but she puts that out of her mind for now. Probably — hopefully — forever.
When Prince Thane kisses her again, she screws her eyes shut, quickly obliging. She imagines how she would react if it were Rae kissing her, but she, again, quickly pushes those thoughts away, not before thinking of how much more tender her lips would be.
“Something wrong?” he asks when they separate again. His eyebrows furrow, pulling his dark eyes down with them. He frowns.
Shit. Prince Thane noticed she hadn't been putting her all into it despite her impossibly long pursuit for such a thing to happen.
“N-nothing, Prince Thane. I just feel a little ill is all!” Claire quickly excuses, moving like she's about to hurry off. Until she feels a warm hand on the small of her back.
“Please, wait,” he murmurs deeply. She feels the warmth of his coat replacing that of his hand as he places it over her shoulders. “Let me walk you home.”
She nods, her breath catching, “Okay.”
He walks her to the front door of her father's mansion, hand on her shoulder the whole time. Thankfully, he didn't try to kiss Claire a third time, but when she tried to return his coat, he wouldn't take it. Resigned, she draped back over her shoulders, walking through the door and waving Prince Thane off.
“Farewell, Prince Thane.”
“Please,” he put his hand on his chest respectfully. “Please. Call me Thane.”
She didn't respond. How could she possibly?
In her room, Claire threw his coat onto her floor. It wasn't as if it felt bad — in fact, it smelled quite nice and had a faux fur lining inside — but it felt too much ownership. She distinctly, for some unknown reason, got the feeling she did *not* want to be owned by the prince.
How could someone be chasing after a person one day and still leave feeling unsatisfied the next day when they got what they wanted?
How could she feel so much like she wants someone else?
This didn't make any sense.
Claire sighed and fell onto her bed. With all these overwhelming feelings coursing through her, she thought she may as well sleep for a million years. Figured it even.
Unfortunately, Claire did not sleep for a million years.
She woke up before dawn, parched. After a fresh glass of water, she sat down in front of her vanity mirror, eyeing the few tangles at the ends of her blonde hair with a sigh. She looked like a ghost.
Rae would get those out in no time at all. She was extremely skilled at taking care of Claire and her needs.
The ghost of a girl in the mirror had tears running down her cheeks, beginning to expel all of the emotions inside of her. Her hand went up to touch the salty drops in anxious confusion. She hiccuped. After a shaky exhale, Claire buried her face in the forearm of her sleeves.
Claire didn't dare wonder why one mere thought of Rae could send her to tears. By this point, it wasn't rocket science.
When Rae came in that morning, Claire was still sitting in front of her mirror, though her tears had dried long ago. She didn't have the energy to move.
The brunette bounced into the room, smiling. It almost pained Claire how normal she was acting. If she didn't feel so empty, she would probably burst back into tears. So, she channeled it into silent annoyance instead.
“Already up this morning, Miss Claire? Did something wake you?” she asked, picking up her hair brush.
She shook her head.
Rae hummed in acknowledgement, “You're quiet this morning, Miss Claire. Is something the matter?”
She shook her head, opening her mouth to speak, “No, Rae. Everything is all right with me.” Claire forced a smile.
The other raised an eyebrow. The blonde had never intentionally smiled at her. In fact, she most often tried to hide them away. Something was definitely wrong.
“Oh, Miss Claire,” she bent down to whisper in her ear. “If something is wrong, you can tell me, y'know. I won't tell a soul. Not a single one!”
“N-no,” she dropped her eyes to her lap.
Rae smiled, “Are you sure? If you tell me, I'll give you something special. Maybe a kiss, maybe more.”
Claire shook her head profusely, eyes shut tight, “No, no, no! God, commoner, do you ever shut *up!*”
“Not for you, my mistress~” she murmured seductively.
The blonde’s hand came up from her lap to slap Rae's away, “Well, you can start now and finish my damn hair.”
They made eye contact in the mirror. Claire's eyes were filled with barely contained fury, but tears were also brimming on her lashes. Rae nodded, forcing her own away, “Yes, miss.”
“...Thank you,” said the noble, blinking hard.
Neither of them spoke for a long time after that. Claire sat in her chair, hands clenched tightly into fists on her thighs while Rae worked diligently on her hair. Then, just after she had finished and was tidying up, the commoner spoke, “I'm sorry that you're hurt, Miss Claire. I really didn't mean to make anything worse.”
“I know,” she breathed deeply. She stood and turned to Rae, taking her hand after a beat of hesitation.
“Did something happen with Prince Thane?”
She chewed on her lip, “Sort of.”
“Sort of?” Rae cocked her head to the side.
“I just think,” Claire began slowly. “I don't like him nearly as much as I thought I did.”
"Oh,” she deflated a bit at that and the noble desperately wished she could turn back time.
“Well,” Rae said, suddenly brightening. “That's okay! As long as you're happy, I'm happy!”
*But that's the thing,* Claire thought as Rae prattled on. *I'll only be happy if I'm with you, and you can't know that.*
For the rest of the day, Rae poked fun at Claire's unusual silence, bringing a smidgen of annoyance to the surface before it quickly dissipated, leaving nothing but guilt in its wake.
Prince Thane confronted her between classes, a worried look on his face, “Claire, dear, I do hope you're feeling better today.”
She nodded, quietly packing up her things as Rae watched out of the corner of her eye, ready to step in if necessary.
He attempted to take Claire's hand, but she moved out of the way, using the organisation of her bag as an excuse. He cleared his throat, “Um, perhaps you would like to go out with me then? This afternoon. We could go to Broumet's and try their new dish. Waffles, I think they're called. Paired with a sauce called syrup.”
He was rambling. Old Claire would have thought it was adorable, but New Claire just felt panicked. She didn't want to go out with him, especially not now when all her feelings for Rae were accumulating so rapidly.
She coughed, stalling, and, luckily, catching Rae's attention.
“Oh, Miss Claire,” she stepped forward, feeling her forehead with the back of her hand. “You're a little warm. Let's get you back to your room at once.”
“But-” Prince Thane cut in.
“At once!” Rae insisted, tugging on the noble's arm.
“I'm sorry, Prince Thane. It appears I am not as well as I thought I was,” she said, hoping her relief was hidden well enough.
“Very well,” he sighed, disappointed, and walked off to his next class.
For the next three days, Claire faked being sick to avoid Prince Thane. Rae pressed so hard, trying to convince her to let her stay, but the blonde wasn't having it.
“There's no reason we should both be behind on our work,” she insisted.
“But if you're ill-”
“Then you can learn the material and report it back to me when school's over for the day,” Claire interjected, besting the beguiling brunette for what seemed like the very first time.
She sighed, resigned, “Okay, Miss Claire. I'll go to class for you.”
She felt like she should smile, but all that came was a half-formed grimace, causing Rae to panic over her temperature.
When her “ailment” ended, Claire was ready to be back in school. Spending the days cooped up in her room with hardly anything productive to do, she had discovered, was not very fun at all.
The only saving grace was the studying at the end of the day, the only thing that kept her on-track with her rigorous courses. She had learned a lot in her time being sick, magic theory, arithmetic, and how to keep her body at a feverish temperature using fire magic.
Even if Claire was ready to be back at school, she was certainly not ready to see the people there. Or, rather, person. Prince Thane had tried to visit several times, but Rae and the other maids had denied him entry to her private quarters each time, leaving him feeling dejected.
“Miss Claire, are you sure you're ready to get back to school?” Rae asked, pulling out a school uniform from her wardrobe. “You're still acting a little ill.”
“I'm feeling quite all right. In fact, there's no reason I shouldn't go,” she responded for what must have been the dozenth time. She cleared her throat at the awkward pause at the end of her sentence where she would have normally put ‘commoner’. Lately with her recently developing crush — she's unfortunately been forced to name it as such — she's felt weird calling Rae such a detached name. Oh, how complicated this all was.
“And, you're sure about seeing the prince again?” Rae set the outfit down on the bed. She sat on the edge, inviting Claire over with a pat on the mattress.
She sighed, but sat down nonetheless. Claire avoided her eyes, knowing they would be filled with concern, “I don't know.”
“That's okay,” Rae responded patiently, scooting closer. The blonde stiffened when she felt the touch on her back, but relaxed after a moment. She had to remind herself that these hands weren't Prince Thane's. This touch wasn't his.
It was all Rae.
She leaned against it.
“Rae, I have something to tell you,” popped out of her mouth next, startlingly enough. She didn't even know she was going to say it. Now certainly wasn't the right time, was it? While everything was still so, so far up in the air?
“Okay?” Rae inquired, inviting her to speak.
“I-” Claire began. She cut herself off. How hard was it to say this? Apparently impossible!
“You?” she smiled, clearly amused. “Do I have that right?”
“Shut up,” she grumbled. She took a deep breath.
“I think I might finally be returning your feelings. And that's why I don't like Prince Thane anymore.”
It stung Claire a little to admit that she didn't like him anymore, but there was no other way to say it. Her feelings had disappeared, moving on to Rae next, which was the strangest thing because she knew that they were both girls and it still had happened.
Oh, how impossible this all was.
“You… do?” Rae asked, voice coated with barely contained excitement. She was on her hands and knees now, leaning in close to Claire's face.
“Oh, God, help me. Yes! I do! There? Are you happy now?” she cried indignantly. And with that, then tension in the room snapped in an instant.
“Very much so, yes,” Rae responded, returning her volume. Then, she grabbed Claire's face and squished her cheeks. “I hoped you would come around eventually and now you finally have!”
Claire wiggled, trying to break free of her grasp. “Raeee, let go of me,” she groaned, cheeks flushing red with embarrassment.
“Never, my lady!” she laughed, squeezing tighter. Her hands left the noble's cheeks, arms snaking around her whole head. They swayed almost falling off the bed more than once.
Claire, at this point resigned to the other girl's antics, sighed, “Okay, then.” She gave a secret smile, burrowing deeper into the sweet scent of Rae Taylor.
She was still nervous about seeing the prince, and distinctly aware that they were probably late for class by now, but she had to dig for anything other than happiness.
Rae, the dual-casting wonder of a girl, was holding her close and practically sobbing over her newfound feelings, and that was all she needed in this moment.