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23 days. It has been 23 days since Lucy survived her « day of death. » 23 days since she had been pulled from the barrel. 23 days
Lucy studied psychology. She knows recovery is going to take some time, especially when it comes to her mental health. She knows she will get better. Despite that reassurance; it doesn’t make the process any easier.
Panic attacks, nightmares, flashbacks. Lucy has them all. Jackson has been her rock through the whole recovery process. From the day she woke at the hospital to the day she was discharged from it. He has always been there, and promised to stay there. He would be there to soothe her after she had a nightmare, staying with her until she fell back asleep. He was there with her when she had panic attacks, helping her with the methods her therapist recommended her. Jackson even helped her wash her hair properly in the hospital when she was ready.
Jackson wasn’t the only one though. Infact; majority of the LAPD was there with her every step of the way. They all knew Lucy didn’t want to be treated like a victim, and they never did. They all treated her like family.
Grey and Luna occasionally brought her homemade dinner; of course made sure she was resting to be ready before she returned to work. Angela and Nyla came over a few nights to check up on her and even had a movie night with her and Jackson. Smitty even sent her some flowers with a goofy card attached.
Then there’s Tim.
Lucy learned a few days after her kidnapping that it was Tim who found her. Who breathed life back into her. Obviously, Lucy knew someone from their crew found her, but she was so out of it, she could only remember waking up in the hospital the next morning.
Seeing Tim.
Tim was with Lucy as much as he could be. Tim stayed with her at the hospital whenever Jackson couldn’t be, even drove her home while Jackson made sure their apartment was comfortable. Tim sent Lucy a text everyday and even brought her food on his days off. Lucy was always grateful for the extra company. Though despite all the kindness Tim has shown her, she could see that Tim wasn’t himself since the kidnapping.
He would never admit that, though.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
« Jackson, I promise I’m fine.. Enjoy your night out, please. »
It has been a while since Jackson had time for himself. For his boyfriend. Lucy had been doing significantly better since the first few days home and she wants Jackson to be able to enjoy time to himself.
Jackson nodded before pulling her into a hug.
« Okay, okay.. » Jackson pulled back. « If you need anything at all, please call me. » Lucy let out a soft chuckle.
« I will call you if I desperately need assistance. » Lucy said slightly sarcastically. Jackson stood in the doorway hesitantly.
« Jackson- Go! » She chuckled as she ushered him out the door. « I love you tons, have fun, okay? »
« Okay okay, I love you too and I will be home before 11! »
Jackson's voice faded as Lucy closed the door. She took a deep breath and locked each lock carefully before she headed towards the couch.
It was one night. She could handle it.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
Lucy has no idea when she fell asleep. All she remembers is waking up to a loud banging noise. She sat up from the couch, looking around, her brows scrunched slightly. She jumped as she heard another loud bang at the door. Lucy threw her blanket to the side as she stood up cautiously.
« Jackson has keys, he wouldn’t knock? »
Stepping quietly towards the door, she stood on her toes looking through the peephole.
A scream was in her throat trying to escape as she shot up from her sleep. Lucy looked towards the door, the locks still in place. Nobody is there. She is alone. She is safe
« It was just a dream.. »
Lucy buried her face in the palms of her hands, taking a deep breath. Her heart races as the image of Caleb outside her door flashes through her mind. Pressing a firm hand against her chest, she repeats the same words over and over in her head.
« It was just a dream »
« You’re safe »
« It was just a dream »
« It isn’t real.. »
Lucy stood up, her breathing becoming more shaky. She takes a few steps before falling back onto the couch. Her leg bounces as she runs fingers through her hair.
She was supposed to be fine by herself for one night..
Lifting her head slightly, she looks at her phone on the living room table. She twists her lips before grabbing it with a shaky hand. She unlocks it and looks at Jackson’s messages she never closed out of.
Lucy told Jackson she would be fine. The last thing she wants is for him to refuse to have more nights for himself.
Lifting her arm, Lucy covers her eyes with her sleeve, soaking up the tears she refused to let fall any further.
« It was just a dream »
Her body jumped as her phone dinged.
Ofc. Bradturd - « Hey Chen, clocked out for the night. Need anything? » 9:47
Her eyes skimmed over the text repeatedly. She swallows what feels like barb wire, her cries begging to escape her shaking lips.
After what feels like an eternity of hesitation, she slowly begins to tap her fingers against the screen.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
Tim sat in his truck, the window cracked and the AC humming softly. His eyes watch his phone, waiting for any response.
Today has been emotionally exhausting. Lucy’s case is still open for investigation, and will remain open all because it’s connected to Rosalind.
He’s been reading through files, working with Angela and Nyla, trying to connect the other victims, and doing extensive research on Caleb and his relationship with Rosalind.
He was never able to bring himself to watch the video.
There have been a couple days where he caught a break from the station and was able to go on patrol with another officer, which he was grateful for.
Tim’s thoughts cleared when a typing bubble popped up on his screen. Tim furrowed his brows as the bubble disappeared, reappearing again a few seconds later.
L ~ « Can you talk to me? » 21:49
L ~ « Just for a minute » 21:49
His brows raise slightly.
T ~ « Of course. Are you okay? » 21:49
L ~ « Not really » 21:50
He pauses for a moment. He wants to call her, drive to her and fight every battle she’s facing with her trauma. The trauma he only blames himself for.
L ~ « I saw him » 21:52
« him » Tim takes a breath, leaning back in his truck seat.
T ~ « He’s gone, Luce. » 21:52
He knows she knows, yet PTSD works in different ways. He has his fair share of that.
L ~ « I know » 21:53
L ~ « He was right there though » 21:53
L ~ « It keeps flashing through my mind and I’m scared that if it happens again, I still won’t be able to defend myself. » 21:54
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
The tears flow down her cheeks, her sleeve practically soaked with the others she tried to stop. Her fingers tremble every time she types a message.
She knows that it was just a dream, that Caleb is and will forever be dead. Yet even in death, he is still taunting her.
T ~ « Don’t let your mind go there. » 9:54pm
T ~ « You are one of the best cops I know, Luce. Hell, you took down a guy bigger than me. » 9:55pm
Lucy wants to laugh, but the sobs won’t stop.
L ~ « But I wasn’t able to take him down » 9:55pm
She can barely even say his name.
T ~ « You were drugged. » 9:56pm
T ~ « You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. » 9:56pm
Lucy’s sobs begin to slow. She knows she’s strong. She’s a damn good cop, she just needs to get past this rough patch.
L ~ « Thank you Tim » 9:58pm
T ~ « I’m always here. » 9:59pm
T ~ « Is Jackson home? » 9:59pm
L ~ « He’s out with his boyfriend. I told him I would be fine » 9:59pm
L ~ « Clearly not » 9:59pm
She hiccups, wiping at the dried tear marks.
T ~ « Take some deep breaths. » 10:00pm
She does. She breathes deeply in and out for a few moments. She’s still shaky, but the tears have stopped.
T ~ « Better? » 10:04pm
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
L ~ « Than I was » 22:04
Tim takes a deep breath of his own, tipping his head back against the headrest. He looks over at the clock on the screen.
T ~ « Good. » 22:05
T ~ « I’m proud of you, Boot. You’re gonna be okay. » 22:05
It’s the same thing he told her when he pulled her from that barrel. The same thing during the ride to the hospital. The same thing as he watched the doctors take her back to a private room. It’s because it’s true. She is okay. She will be okay.