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Alex was no scaredy cat. That was a fact. She had stared down many serial killers and gotten hurt in the field more than any one person should along with being “practically bulletproof” as she always insisted. But when it came to haunted houses and scare mazes…that was a whole different story.
As Halloween approached, Garcia had a pipe burst in her apartment meaning she couldn’t host the Halloween gathering (which, of course, took place mid October because Halloween tends to be chaotic for the BAU if not work related, then in their family lives) so she made the decision to take them all to a Scare Maze followed by a dinner at Rossi’s.
Alex stood in front of the doors with her team, doing her best not to make her anxiety obvious as she whispered songs to herself to calm down. The entire team was invited making Alex feel a little more relaxed until she was informed they were waiting on one more person. And when she heard Erin’s voice she was impressed by just how good that scare maze is because she’s never jumped more.
They don’t talk. Don’t exchange pleasantries. They’ve only spoken a few times since Alex rejoined and she was content on keeping it that way. The biggest issue at hand? Erin Strauss knew about Alex’s fear of these scare mazes. In fact it was one of the biggest things Erin teased her over before everything fell apart. This nightmare just got a whole lot more personal.
Upon entering the maze, Alex made sure to stay exactly in the middle of the group. Penelope, Spencer, Derek, and Emily in front and Rossi, Hotch, JJ, and Erin behind her. There were little jokes made between Hotch and JJ about there kids and how they’d cope with an experience like this which must be how JJ noticed Alex’s tension, making a light half joke about Alex being welcome to grab her hand if she needs it. She spends so long being the mother hen to the team, she forgets she’s allowed to be the childish one sometimes.
There had been rumours all around the BAU of Strauss and Rossi being an item, so *of course* they were talking at the back of the group. Which Erin was well with her rights to do, Alex had to remind herself.
Deeper into the maze the scare actors start interacting with the team, most of whom were laughing off any fear (with the exception of when a clown dared come near Penelope but one look from Emily and Derek and he moved on to someone else instead). Alex managed to hold it together, humming to herself and not talking to anyone, until one of the sections there was a little boy made up to look like a ghost, wandering around the maze asking eerily “are you my mummy?” To everyone he passed. Alex didn’t think she just reacted, taking JJ up on her previous offer and reaching behind her to grab a hand.
It was only when the hand squeezed hers, she realised it was the wrong one.
**FBI Academy: the dorm of Alex Miller and Erin Strauss**
It had been a very long week of exams so Erin suggested they have a movie night. After picking out Silence of the Lambs (because of course whilst they weren’t about to admit it, giant crushes on Clarisse had been a contributing factor on both women applying to the FBI), the women settled on Erin’s bed a little closer than necessary.
Halfway through the film, Alex jumps at her hand ends up in that of her roommate who doesn’t look away from the screen but squeezes Alex’s hand four times. Like the pulse of a heart. And the world seems a whole lot less scary. Three weeks later Alex would meet a young med student named James Blake but neither of them considered their future being anything but more nights like this at the time.
**Present day: the maze**
Four squeezes. Like a heartbeat. And then a small brush of Erin’s thumbs over Alex’s knuckles. A silent plea. And possibly for the first time in 20yrs Alex didn’t overthink her next move. She fell into step with Erin and clung to her hand in silence for the rest of the maze.
The team noticed but no one wanted to comment in fear of the consequences. Whilst they’d come to learn the real Erin Strauss is very different from her “Ice queen” reputation, they didn’t doubt she wouldn’t step into that role if they tried to get involved in her personal life. So when Derek tried, it was killed by a whack on the back of the head from Emily and elbow from Penelope.
When they finally exit the maze, Alex let’s out a deep sigh of relief but Erin doesn’t get her hand back.
“I hate those things” Alex grumbled under her breath to no one in particular (or at least that’s what she told herself, despite Erin being the only person in earshot)
“I know sweet girl, you did so good.” Erin’s response was automatic, not thinking just falling back into old habits. Alex finally dropped her hand and she knew she had messed up but when she opened her mouth to apologise, any attempts were muffled by Alex’s shoulder as the blonde was pulled in for a tight hug.
It was the most grounding scent in the world, Erin’s shampoo. And her perfume but of course that’s changed now, not the same “vanilla cupcake” she wore in the academy. More floral and gentle. They stood like that in silence for a bit whilst the rest of the team grabbed the bags or something until Spencer tapped Alex on the shoulder and gave her a funnel cake, sparing the older woman of his anecdotes on the “average heath and food safety level of carnival trucks” figuring she needs the sugar fix more than he needs the ramble.
The walk to the subway was quiet but the two women split the funnel cake, never needing words to communicate which usually unsettled Alex, as a linguist, but she found it a nice break for once.
Dinner at Rossi’s was uneventful. Well, by BAU standards at least. With Alex’s hand finding Erin’s thigh under the table, creeping down to her knee to still it as Erin subconsciously bounces on her toes anxiously. Finally the dreaded question comes up after a few glasses of wine. The love lives of the BAU Agents. Garcia and Morgan plea the 5th. Hotch had started dating Beth, a woman he met on a run. JJ and Will were sure to be each other’s until they’re in the retirement home and beyond, Emily muttered her usual “married to my work” excuse and no one asked Spencer knowing he definitely wasn’t looking for anyone knew so soon after Maeve. So that left Erin, Alex, and Rossi. A pair and a third wheel. So when Rossi announced he was single the team were so confused that Emily finally addressed the elephant in the room.
“So you and Erin- you two aren’t…?”
The section chief was quick to blush mainly due to Alex’s nails subconsciously digging into her thigh just a little and Rossi laughed, shaking his head. “I’m not in the market for another divorce just yet, kid. But good to know you think I’d be able to woo her-“ he laughed, nodding at Erin who managed to quickly compose herself.
The question moved around to Alex tentatively, her divorce wasn’t new to her, but she had only told the team recently so they weren’t sure if she was allowed to ask but she just smiled half heartedly and sipped her wine, shaking her head “no, no one new for me.” Punctuated secretly with a squeeze to Erin’s thigh, four to be precise. No one new. It wasn’t a lie, just a cleverly worded truth, putting her doctorate to good use.
Finally, Derek starts complaining about his “gorgeous but annoying as hell” next door neighbour Savannah, and Alex can talk to Erin without prying ears.
“You never said…is there anyone?” She asked quietly. Composed and curious but to anyone who could see behind her facade, timid and hopeful.
The blonde simply shook her head and repeated the words she’d heard earlier. “No one new, no.” But you can’t beat a linguist at her own game.
“No one new, huh? But not Dave.” That comment earned her a scoff and soft laugh from the blonde, a sound that still made Alex weak all these years later. So weak she once again talks without thinking. “Come back to mine.”
Despite the others around them talking, Both woman’s worlds go completely silent.
Then,
“Yes.”
A whisper.
A promise.
A new start.
Ten minutes later they’ve excused themselves from the evening under the guise of Alex feeling lightheaded after the maze and Erin driving her home but they don’t need to bother with the excuses, everyone saw the look exchanged. Well, apart from Spencer but given Alex is his “work mom”, he probably wouldn’t want to think about her in the context the look was implying anyway.
Both women avoid their friends the next day knowing details will be demanded and wanting to keep their night to themselves for a little longer but when they saw Erin in a blazer just a little too long and Alex in a lighter colour blouse than she would usually wear, everyone knew.
And Alex has never been more glad she’s a scaredy cat.