Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

News Reporter: Alvin Seville winning the International Music Awards might be the peak of your career. Do you think your career will get better or worse?
Alvin: All I can say is... Ain't no stopping us no-
Alvin shuts off the TV.
Alvin: We were stopped... WE WERE STOPPED!
Brittany: Calm down, babe.
Eleanor: I always feel weird when she calls him that.
Alvin: Brittany, don't you miss the concerts the money the designer clothes THE GODDAMN WORLD TOURS?
Brittany: After I cried into my pillow every day for 3 months, I've just realised there's no coming back. But at least I have my wonderful family.
Eleanor: I love you guys.
Theodore: Family hug!
Alvin: No hugs. Brittany and Eleanor being sappy? We are losing our core principles!
Jeanette: Alvin, we loved the fame, but what do you want us to do?
Alvin: Turn on the TV it helps me think.
Simon turns on the TV.
Ian Hawke(TV): It's me, Ian Hawke!
Simon: Oh no...
Theodore: He's changed, remember?
Ian: We all know how the chipmunks fell off, but I'm here to bring them back. Do you know how many chipmunks are out there? So I opened a school for chipmunks to become stars.
Alvin: Yes YES YES! Thank you, our lord Ian Hawke!
Simon: No, Alvin... I kinda adjusted to the normal life.
Brittany: Oh, come on, don't you want money for your inventions? Don't you miss the concerts the money the designer clothes THE GODDAMN WORLD TOURS!?
Alvin: What happened to accepting there's no coming back?
Brittany: Happy wife, happy life.
Alvin: One: We're doing this. Two: I'M NOT YOUR WIFE.
Brittany: Just tell Dave to drop us at the school.
Simon: Let's look the school up.
Jeanette(on her phone): Oh... It's a boarding school. We can come back on Sundays, though.
Brittany: Hold up. I don't want to spend my birthday in school. How long is the school year?
Jeanette: 3 months.
Brittany: If it's the start of May, then we'll be done by AUGUST... ONE MONTH OF VACATION!
Alvin: Brittany, come on, take one for the team.
Brittany: I'll pack my bags...
Alvin Simon Theodore Brittany Jeanette and Eleanor: FOR THE BAND!

Meanwhile, in the forest, a scrappy chipmunk in a fedora is wandering around in a forest.
Harry: Where is that guy? He said he'll have my robots done by May!
Chipmunk Inventor: Harry over here!
Harry: My boy! You got my munks?
Chipmunk Inventor: Yep, with everything you wanted, they can fly they have an automatic search engine inside them and a bunch more! Check them out. Harry grabs the hipmunks.
Chipmunk Inventor: Where's my money?
Harry: Isn't our friendship worth more than money?
Chipmunk Inventor: WHERE IS IT?
Harry runs off and jumps off a cliff fiddling with the buttons on Calvin(Alvin lookalike) to turn him on.
Calvin turns on, and the bottom of his shoes turn into jets, making him fly, and Harry rides on top of him.
As Calvin turns on Cody(Theodore lookalike) and Brandon(Simon lookalike), turn on too, and they fly away.
Chipmunk Inventor: KH will find you!
Harry: He'll never find me!

Harry and the hipmunks land on the other side of the forest.
Calvin: Give me one reason why I shouldn't obliterate you...
Harry: Becuase I'm nice!
Cody: I'LL BLOW HIM UP!
Brandon: Let's chill out.
Calvin: Shut it! How did you rebuild us?
Harry: I found you in a junkyard.
I wanted to take you in.
Calvin: Do you know the chipmunks?
Harry: The band?
Cody: IF I SEE THEM, I'LL BLOW EM UP!
Harry: Why do you hate them?
Calvin: They killed the love of our lives, the hipettes.
Harry: I can help you get revenge. As long as I can manage you in EVERYTHING.
Calvin: We'll take over the world. Are you hard-core enough?
Harry: You bet I am. Sooo... You guys fly around and look for the chipmunks while I stay back and create our base. Don't mention my name. I kinda have some people who are looking for me. Plus, make sure you don't kill them, their children, man. Just spy on them and know everything they do where they go what they love. Calvin: At your command, but you have to go back to that junkyard and look for the hipettes. Harry: Fine...

Meanwhile, the chipmunks are ready to go to their boarding school. Dave: Are you sure you wanna go?
Alvin: Yes, David, we made it clear.
Dave: (Sighs) Fine.

After an hour long drive, the chipmunks arrive at the " IANS LEAGUE OF CHIPMUNKS STARS."".
Theodore(gulp): We're here...
Dave: I'm gonna miss you all.
Jeanette: Us too, Dave.
All the chipmunks hug Dave, and he drives off.
Alvin: Alright, team, we're on our own.
LET'S GO!

Chapter Text

The chipmunks enter " IANS LEAGUE FOR CHIPMUNK STARS".
Ian: The chipmunks my old pals I put in a cage, how you doing?
Alvin: Good!
Ian: Nice. Alright, let me explain the gist of this place. As with any other school, you'll have extracurricular activities and mandatory classes. The mandatory classes are: Choreography, Singing, History, Geography Art and chemistry.
Simon: Excuse me, how is chemistry gonna help us with performing?
Ian: Chemistry class is where you learn which kind of people should sing together at certain moments. For example, Simon shouldn't be singing a song with lots of high notes Theodore should. Now follow me to your dorm. All of you will share a room.
Brittany: When I moved into our tree house, I was wishing I would never live with Alvin again.
Alvin: Too bad, baby!

The chipmunks and Ian head to the dorms.
Ian: You'll be living here for the next 3 months. Eleanor: We can fix it up a little bit.
Ian: Yeah, I'd like to see you try.
If you have any questions come to me if it's anything else don't come to me. Your lessons begin tomorrow. Toodles!

Ian heads off.
Eleanor: Who says toodles these days?
Alvin: It doesn't matter. Let's just get some rest and get ready for our first day.

The next morning at 8:30 AM, the chipmunks alarm clock goes off.
Eleanor(Half a sleep): YES, SIR!
She starts doing push-ups.
Jeanette(Tired): What are you doing?
Theodore: She had another army dream.
Alvin: Come on, guys, first day of school
begins today right here right now!
Brittany: But I don't want to...
Simon: Come on, Brit, you haven't even gone to one class. Give it a chance.
Brittany: Fine, let's go...

The chipmunks are in the hallway about to go to their separate classes.
Simon: Alright, I've got our timetables right here. Eleanor and Alvin, you're going to geography class. Brittany, you're going to singing class and me Jeanette and Theodore are going to history.
Alvin: Why do I have to go to geography first?
Brittany: Becuase it's on the list, Alvin. It's not the end of the world.
Alvin:  Easy for you to say you have singing class first. Let's just go, Eleanor.
Eleanor and Alvin go into the geography classroom.
Teacher: Hello, new students! Who might you be?
Alvin: I think everyone in this room knows who we are.
Student 1: Ooh, ooh! I know who you are! Your Chip n Dale!
Eleanor: No! We're from the chipmunks!
Student 2: That washed up band. Who cares about them?
Alvin: (Sighs) I'm Alvin, and this is my friend Eleanor.
Teacher: Alright, take your seats.
Alvin and Eleanor sit down.
Teacher: Let's see your knowledge.
Pop quiz!
Alvin and Eleanor: OH COME ON!

Meanwhile, at a beach nearby, the hipmunks reunite with Harry.
Harry: What information did you get?
Calvin: We know that Theodore can apparently stuff 8 doughnuts in his mouth, and their going to some kinda boarding school for chipmunks.
Harry: That's barely any useful advice!
Calvin: I think we should pay them a visit.
Cody: I'LL BLOW THEIR INSIDES!
Brandon: That's a little extreme, don't you think?
Calvin: Nobody cares about your opinion, so SHUT IT! What do you think, Harry?
Harry: Research that boarding school.
Calvin: It's owned by Ian Hawke, our original manager.
Harry: Is he rich?
Cody: He has certainly been successful for the past few years.
Harry: Go to that school and find as much money as you can and scare the chipmunks a little bit.
Brandon: I don't wanna be a downer, but the place will probably have security cameras.
Cody: I hate to admit it, but the dimwit is right.
Harry: I asked the chipmunk who repaired you guys to make your metal camouflage so when you're on a screen, nobody can see you.
Calvin: We'll be on our way.
The hipmunks fly away to the school.

In the geography classroom, Alvin is asleep while Eleanor is taking notes.
Teacher: Alright, everyone get into partners and match the type of music to its country of origin.
Eleanor: Alvin, we have a task to do. Alvin!
Eleanor pulls Alvin's ear.
Alvin: Ow!
Eleanor: Sorry, but we have to work in pairs.
Alvin: I'm going to continue my nap in the toilet.
Eleanor: You're just gonna leave me here?
If you wanna date Brittany, you gotta be nice to her sister!
Alvin: You'll be fine. You're smart and strong, and you work solo, see I'm being nice to you!
Alvin: May I go to the toilet, Ms?
Teacher: You shall.
Eleanor: ALVINNN!!!
Teacher: Inside voice!

The hipmunks sneak into the building and head into the bathroom to discuss their plan.
Calvin: Alright, we go to Ians office, and we look for as much cash as we can, and then we can have some fun with the munks.
Suddenly, the bathroom door opens.
Alvin: Dang, this bathroom is clean! Not bad, Ian Hawke.
Suddenly, Alvin freezes as he makes eye contact with his old robotic enemies.
Alvin: What?....
Calvin: Alvin Seville, my man! How are you doing?
Alvin: You're supposed to be dead!
Calvin: Wanna know who else is dead?
THE HIPETTES!
Calvin picks up Alvin by his shirt.
Alvin: Please, man! I'm sorry!
Brandon: Chill out, guys.
Calvin: Let me handle this, or you'll be next! I'm gonna let you go Seville, but just know I'm gonna make your life a living hell, and that goes to your family too.
Alvin: Don't bring my family into this.
Calvin: So much talk for a LITTLE MAN.
Calvin throws Alvin into the door.
Cody: SCRAM OR I'LL BLOW YOU UP.
Alvin flees out of the toilet.

As he's running out, he hides in his locker just after Eleanor walks out of geography.
Eleanor: Our teacher wants you back into cl-
Eleanor notices Alvin shaking in his locker.
Eleanor: Are you okay?
Come on, I'm your friend, you can tell me.
Take advantage of this moment this is the only time I'll be caring like this.
Alvin: The hipmunks are back. I don't know how or why, but they wanna make out life a living hell...
Eleanor: Are you hurt?
Alvin: Did you not see me get smacked through a door?
Eleanor: We'll tell the others at lunch.

At the cafeteria, Alvin explains everything he saw.
Theodore: We have to get out of here!
Brittany: Theo they're always learning from us they probably know where we live WE GONNA DIE!
Simon: We need to go to Ian.

The gang goes over to Ians office.
Ian: WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT?!
Jeanette: Did what Ian?
Ian: My money is gone.
80k is lost 80K!
Alvin: Probably the hipmunks.
Ian Hawke: What did you say?
Alvin: The hipmunks...
Ian: Christ almighty! Are they on their own?
Jeanette: We don't know.
Ian: I'm gonna check the cameras.
Ian loads up the security cameras just to see Alvin in the bathroom getting tossed around by some "ghosts".
Ian: WE NEED A NATION WIDE SEARCH.
Alvin: People will get hurt. I think they have rocket launchers inside them.
Ian: It's better than you guys dying!
Listen, just try to avoid them, and I'll deal with the serious stuff.

At night, none of the chipmunks can go asleep.
Simon: We never got to have Simon Jr before we died.
Jeanette: It could've been Jeanette Jr babe.
Brittany: We're not gonna die. Right, Alvin?
Alvin: I don't know.
Eleanor: If anyone messes with you guys, I'll pound them!
Theodore: Me too! If I was strong like you.
Eleanor: Aww, thanks!
Alvin: Enough with the sappy talk for now on, we'll have to keep our gaurd up.
Simon Theodore Brittany Jeanette and Eleanor: Yeah...

Chapter Text

After a gruelling first week in their new school, the chipmunks decide to go to the local carnival on Sunday to get their minds off their hipmunk troubles.
Alvin: This is a good change of scenery.
No teachers, no quizzes, and no hipmunks.
Eleanor: We don't know that the hipmunks aren't here. We still have to watch our backs.
Brittany: Next time we see them, we smash them, they're robots after all.
Theodore: Are we strong enough?
Alvin: We bet them before, and we can beat them again.
Eleanor: Hold up, do you see that?
Eleanor points to a ring toss stand.
Eleanor: Whoever is able to beat the ring toss game gets a free pair of headphones. I need them after I broke my old ones.
Jeanette: Then go ahead!

Eleanor walks up to the ring toss stand.
Eleanor: 3 rings, please!
Carny: Little girl, are you sure you're good enough for this.
Eleanor: Trust me, I can knock you out.
Simon: Alright, Eleanor, you have to aim at a certain angle more specif-
Eleanor: Simon buddy, I can do this on my own.
Eleanor throws one her rings, but it seems that it's too small to fit around the bottles.
Eleanor: It's one of those games...
Carny: Try again.
Eleanor throws another ring, but again, she's unlucky.
Carny: Last try.
Eleanor: Third times, a charm.
Eleanor throws the ring, but again, she's unsuccessful.
Eleanor: This is rigged!
Carny: How?
Eleanor: Becuase the rings are too small for the bottles.
Carny: Just like how normal sized clothes are small for you.
Brittany and Jeanette gasp.
Alvin: I'M GONNA MESS YOU UP! Nobody talks to my friend that way!
Simon: Come on, man, it's just a simple game, and you rigged it, we all know it!
Right Theo?
Theodore stays quiet.
Jeanette: Theodore?
Theodore(menacingly): Isn't there another option to use balls instead?...
Carny(worried): Uh yeah...
Theodore: 3 balls, please.
The carny gives Theodore 3 balls.
Theodore: Hey, carny! HEADS UP!
Theodore throws one of his balls at the carny so fast it knocks him out.
Theodore: Mess with my girl again, and you'll wish you were never born.
Alvin: Theodore...
Theodore snaps out of his menacing state.
Theodore: What happened...
Brittany: You were awesome!
Theodore: What happened?!
Jeanette: Someone made fun of Eleanor, so you knocked him out.
Simon: Speaking of Eleanor, she sure is quite right now.
Eleanor: That was... it was...
Brittany: Romantic?
Eleanor: DON'T SAY THAT WORD!
But I do appreciate it Theodore you were a true hero today.
Theodore: I'm a hero?
Eleanor: Yep, and that means a lot coming from me.
Theodore: Yeah, you're right...

In the night, when they go back to their dorms, the chipmunks are getting ready for bed.
Theodore: Alvin, can we talk?
Alvin: Sure.
Theodore: Back at the carnival when I stood up for Eleanor ot kinda felt good to be Eleanor's hero, for once she's always helping me, and I barely do anything for her.
Alvin: Where are you getting at?
Theodore: I need you to help me save her a bunch of times. I just want her to see that I can hold my own, too.
Alvin: Why didn't you come to me sooner as a munk with a girlfriend who sits all day on her bed and the only time she talks to me is when she wants me to unpeel an orange, She was mad at me when I refused for some reason... Just know that I know how it feels to date someone who isn't a force to be reckoned with.
Theodore: So you'll help me?
Alvin: Yep!

The next morning, the chipmunks all leave to go to their separate classes, and Alvin and Theodore go to chemistry class together.
Alvin: Alright Theodore, what's the plan?
Theodore: I've paid someone to pretend to be a bully and attack Eleanor. I swoop in and thrn ting tang walla walla bing bang I'm a hero!
Alvin: Are you sure the bully is scary enough.
Theodore: Of course he is.
Alvin: Are we talking about a Nathan sort of guy or a Derek kind of guy?
Theodore: Don't mention Nathan's name...
Alvin: Ok, I'll try to help her, and I'll fail.
When she sees you tougher than me, she'll bow down and pray to you every day.
Theodore: Really?
Alvin: No. Come Theodore, you're smarter
than that.

At the cafeteria, Brittany and Eleanor are eating lunch.
Brittany: If Alvin stood up to me like Theodore did for you I would actually consider that he's not just an obnoxious twat.
Eleanor: Can we just leave behind what happened yesterday?
Bully: You won't even remember whatever happened yesterday when I'm done with you.
I'm gonna mess you up.
Brittany: Stay away from my sister!
Bully who's gonna make me.
Alvin: I will!
Alvin tries to punch the bully but he catches his punch pushes him into some chairs.
Alvin(derpy eyed): Mommy?
Bully: Now who's gonna stop me?
Theodore: I will!
Brittany and Eleanor: THEODORE?!
Bully: Come here you little punk!
The bully charges at Theodore but he jumps on the bully's back and makes him repeatedly hit his head off a wall.
Theodore: SAY UNCLE!
Bully: UNCLE! UNCLE!!!
The bully runs away.
Theodore: Let me see if he's okay I'm a hero after all.
Theodore runs off after the bully.
Eleanor: He sure is a hero. Stronger than Alvin!
Alvin: I wouldn't say strong more strategic. Wait no I'm more strategic. More creative. Wait I'm mo-
Brittany and Eleanor: We get it.

Meanwhile in the school yard Theodore meets up with the bully.
Bully: Your a tough little dude!
Theodore: Thanks! Here's your money.
Theodore hands the bully his money.
Theodore: Yep I am a hero!
Theodore stops when he sees Brittany waiting by the school's front entrance.
Brittany: I heard everything Theo.
Theodore: Brittany I-
Brittany: Alvin can be a wimp sometimes but your definitely not stronger than him.
I have an even better plan if you would let me help.
Theodore: What's the plan?
Brittany: Get Alvin and tell you the gist of things.

In the chipmunks dorms Eleanor is sitting on her bed reading a book while Simon and Jeanette are watching their portable TV.
Eleanor: Do you see Theodore's glow up?
Jeanette: He looks the same.
Simon: She means in personality babe.
Eleanor: I can't believe he can rival Alvin in strength.
Simon: What? Eleanor I never had a life without a brother for more than 3 seconds I know the power scaling.
Eleanor: What are you saying?
Jeanette: Tell us what happened at lunch.
Eleanor: A bully approached me Alvin tried to fight him but he got whooped but Theodore totally destroyed him the bully was probably in tears.
Simon: Did you ever consider that the bully was a paid actor?
Eleanor: I feel so dumb. Why would they do that though?
Jeanette: Theodore wanted you to see he can tough just like yesterday. It was sweet but messed up.
Eleanor: I'm going to tell that goofball that I like him no matter what.

Eleanor goes into the school yardt to try find Theodore but a mysterious man in a trench coat taps her on the back.
Eleanor: AAGH!
Out of reflex Eleanor punches the mans face.
Eleanor: I'm so sorry! But your face is rock hard it's almost like METAL...
The 3 hipmunks jump out of the trench coat.
Cody: WE'RE GONNA BLOW YOUR GUTS OUT!
Calvin: Tell us all your secrets or there will be consequences.

Theodore Brittany and Alvin watch in a nearby bush.
Brittany: WHAT DO WE DO!?
Alvin: Here's the plan I fart and then use a lighter to set my fart on fire.
Brittany: We can use the scientific option or the less gross option.
Theodore: JUST PICK ONE SO WE CAN SAVE MY GIRLFRIEND!
Brittany: Fine then!
Brittany hands a heavy log to Theodore.
Brittany: Now is your time to be a hero!
Now go!
Theodore: Tell Jeanette she can have all of the My Little Pony figures in my closet.
Alvin: WAIT WHAT?!

Theodore runs off with his log into the yard.
Theodore: Get your dirty robotic hands off her!
Eleanor: WAIT NO!
Calvin: Come here little boy...
Calvin lunges at Theodore but Theodore gives a big swing of his log and knocks off Calvin's head.
Cody: Calvin! I'M GONNA BLOW YOU UP!
Cody launches a bomb at Theodore but he reflects it with his log and it blows up Cody.
Brandon: I told you that a 3 second delay  was a bad idea.
Theodore: Your next!
Brandon: I don't want to fight I'm good!
Brandon grabs Calvin and Cody's broken body's and flies away.
Eleanor: Theodore that was amazing! Or was it a trick like earlier?
Theodore: I guess you found out.
Brittany and Alvin come out of the bush they were hiding in.
Brittany: It's not his fault that the hipmunks attacked. I kinda payed a random man in a trench coat on the street to scare you and Theodore would swoop in and save you.
Alvin: And I was in on it too. But Theodore did kinda save you.
Theodore: Thanks guys but it was mostly my fault.
Eleanor: Simon and Jeanette helped me realise what was going on. You are a hero becuase your basically a ray of sunshine you inspire us all to stay positive. Wow Alvin's right I am becoming sappy.
Brittany: All that matters is that we're all safe.
And the hipmunks will think twice when trying to mess with us.

Meanwhile at the beach Brandon arrives with Calvin and Cody's broken body's.
Harry: WHAT HAPPEN?!
Brandon: Theodore bet them up but I was able to escape.
Harry: Now I have to find another inventor to fix them up. Theodore gloves are off. You hipmunks can do whatever you want with the chipmunks as long as I get money and they go down....

Chapter Text

Alvin Eleanor Brittany and Theodore eavesdrop nervously on Jeanette and  are in the dorms toilet.
Alvin: Are they... doing it?...
Brittany: No, they can't be...
Eleanor: But could they?
Theodore: What are you guys talking about?
Brittany: Grown up stuff, Theo.
Theodore: I'm 1 year younger than you...
Alvin(walking up to the bathroom door): Well, I'm getting to the bottom of th-
The door opens, and it slams into Alvin's face.
Alvin: I'm always getting abused these days.
Simon: Sorry, bud.
Eleanor: So Jeanette, woman to woman, what was going on in there?
Jeanette: Guys, when I tell you this, please don't think of me any differently.
I want to quit the band.
Alvin: WHY?!
Jeanette: I don't have passion for music anymore. 3 killer robots are hunting us just because we bet them in a music competition this is getting out of hand.
Theodore: Please don't leave Jeanette.
Jeanette: I'm still gonna stay at the school. I'm just not gonna perform.
Alvin: (Sighs) Jeanette, if you really feel this way, we'll make some changes.
I Alvin Seville as the leader of the chipmunks.
Eleanor: (Cough) (Cough)
Alvin: As I was saying, as a member of the chipmunks, I sadly eject Jeanette from the chipmunks we're gonna miss you, Jen.
Jeanette: You guys are the best friends a munk could ever have.
Brittany: Wait no no NO! You can't just leave us, especially when we're at our lowest point. You know what they say:
Whoever doesn't support you at your lowest doesn't deserve to be there at your best.
Eleanor: Jeanette has supported us whenever we're low. If she wasn't my sister, she'd basically be my mother.
Brittany: Jeanette, if we were able to possibly regain your interest in music, would you come back.
Jeanette: Yeah, I guess. Look, it's getting late, and I have to write a big essay tomorrow.

The chipmunks head to bed, and Brittany stays up till Jeanette falls asleep.
Brittany goes to each of the chipmunks beds except Jeanette's and wakes them up.
Alvin: Woman, you better have a good reason for waking me up. I was dreaming of a beautiful girl named Am-
Brittany gives Alvin a deathstare.
Alvin: A beautiful girl named Brittany.
Brittany: Close call Seville.
Simon: What did you wake us up for?
Brittany: Guys, we would be lost without
Jeanette, we can't let her leave.
Simon: Let's just leave her alone.
Brittany: Simon, don't you wanna help your girlfriend? Are you a BAD PARTNER?
Simon: I'M A BETTER PARTNER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE I'M GONNA SOLVE HER PROBLEM WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT! Wow, you are good! Consider me in.
Brittany: Theodore, Eleanor, first Jeanette will leave the band then she'll leave the house AND THEN SHE'LL START A NEW FAMILY AND NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!
Eleanor gives a look like she's about to cry.
Eleanor: I'm not crying! But would she leave us like that? Who am I gonna talk to when I need advice?
Theodore: She manages my diet!
Brittany: Boy, you on a diet? Alvin, don't act like you're not gonna break down in tears like Eleanor.
Alvin and Eleanor: WE'RE NOT CRYING!
Alvin: Listen, Brit, we'll help her try to get her groove back.
Brittany: Good... SIMON, YOU GO FIRST!
Brittany pushes Simon over to Jeanette's bed, and the rest of the gang pretends to sleep.
Simon gently taps Jeanette.
Jeanette: Babe, it's 4 in the morning. I need my rest...
Simon: I know I know but as your boyfriend I have to help you with your problems so follow me outside.
Simon leads Jeanette over to a hill, and they sit down.
Simon: Just stop and listen. What do you hear?
Jeanette: Birds singing.
Simon: Ah, nature's music...
You see, Jeanette music can soothe the soul.
Just listen again to the first thing you hear and think of a reason why it makes you happy
Jeanette: I he-
They're immediately interrupted by a chainsaw, cutting down a huge tree.
Jeanette: (Gasp) I like to read on that tree!
Simon: That doesn't matter what does matter is what you hear.
Jeanette: I hear innocent living trees being cut down. Now please, Simon, let me go to sleep!
Jeanette walks back to their dorm.
Simon: God bless her soul...

Jeanette arrives at the dorms and goes back to bed.
Brittany: It doesn't seem like she's in a good mood.
Alvin: Trust me, sweet stuff. I got a plan.
Brittany: Don't call me sweet stuff.
Alvin: Cute stuff?
Brittany: Good boy.

The next day at lunch, Alvin and Theodore are in the middle of the cafeteria with their guitars and drums as Jeanette walks in.
Alvin: This song goes out to a special munk who has lost her love for music.
Theodore: A 1 2.... 1 2 3 4!

Theodore(Alvin):
🎵Hey you, (what'cha doin' sittin' down?)
Don't you know it's time to rock out?
Run around, (get your body off the ground)
It's a party when we come aro-ound🎵

Alvin and Theodore:
🎵Gettin' loud in the crowd
Come on everybody shout
When we're all together
It's a guaranteed freak out🎵

Alvin ( Theodore):
🎵When we come around, yeah
You know you gotta get up and roll (get up and roll)
This time, this time you better do what you're told (what you're told)🎵

Jeanette: Alright, that's enough!
Alvin: You feel anything?
Jeanette: No!
Alvin: Pink beautiful blossom we've got a code purple.
Brittany and Eleanor bust into the cafeteria.
Brittany: Jeanette, you leave us with no choice.
Eleanor hands Jeanette some headphones.
Brittany: We have compiled the songs you sang lead in. And some songs I sang lead in you gotta experience true quality after all.
Now put then on.
Jeanette: No.
Brittany: Come on, Jeanette.
Jeanette: No! It's not gonna work!
Brittany: Jeanette, we have tried our best to help you, but you don't even try to play along with us. Why won't you just fee-
Jeanette(Voice breaking): I CAN'T! I just can't...
I want to like music again but I forget why I liked it in the first place.
Eleanor: Jean-
Jeanette: And that assignment I have to write is an essay about why I love music
and I don't know why! I just wanna on my own.
Jeanette walks out of the cafeteria.
Alvin: Nice going, Brit.
Simon: Alvin, it was our fault too, you know.
Brittany: No, Alvin is right. I suck.
I feel just awful.
Theodore: How can we make Jeanette feel better?
Simon: Jeanette calms down fast. Just let her reflect a little.

Jeanette unsure of what to do with her life strolls around the street until she spots some kids with some instruments.
Kid 1: Hey, I know you!
Jeanette: You do?
Kid 2: Yeah, you're that girl with the glasses from that washed-up band
John and the squirrels, is it?
Jeanette: The chipmunks.
Kid 1: Yeah, that's it!
Kid 3: We need some inspiration sing us a song!
Jeanette: What song?
Kid 1: The one where the chorus is just monkey noises.
Jeanette(deadpan): You mean Witch Doctor?
Kid 2: Whatever, just sing it for us.
Jeanette: Fine...

🎵Ooh eee, ooh ah-ah, ting tang
Walla-walla, bing-bang
Ooh eee, ooh ah-ah, ting tang
Walla-walla, bing-bang🎵

Kid 3: Awesome!
Jeanette: What are you guys doing here anyway?
Kid 1: We're making a band, but we were kinda losing hope.
Kid 2: But something about you gave us inspiration.
Jeanette: Well, I hope your band succeeds.
I remember when I was younger, me and my sisters created a band.
Some of the happiest days of my life, and it makes me happy tha-
Oh my god...
Music is making me happy again!
Kid 1: What?
Jeanette: No time to explain. You guys are great!
Jeanette runs back to the school and arrives back at the cafeteria.
Theodore: Jeanette!
Brittany: Jeanette, I'm so sorry!
Jeanette: Br-
Brittany: I treated you like a band mate instead of a sister.
Jeanette: Brit-
Brittany: And it doesn't matter if you're in the band or not. I'll still love you.
Jeanette: Brittany! I like music again!
Eleanor: That's great! Now, do you know why you love music?
Jeanette: The thought of our music making other people happy and inspiring others to make people happy as well makes me happy.
Alvin: And this speech makes me feel sappy.
Simon: Ignore him. You have a test to get to.

After an anxious 20 minutes, Jeanette walks out of her music class with her essay graded with an A+.
Jeanette: I passed!
Eleanor: We knew you would since when does Jeanette Miller ever fail?

Chapter Text

Theodore Brittany and Jeanette are in history classroom when their teacher makes an important announcement.
Teacher: Alright, class Brittany has something to reveal.
Brittany proudly walks to the front of the classroom room.
Brittany: Hello, my fellow students. After a lot of planning consideration an-
Teacher: A lot of begging, too...
Brittany: Well, as I was saying, the school has let me run a fashion show next week. We all know Ian Hawke is a cheapskate unless he's buying something for himself, so I'll need everyone to sell these chocolate bars on Sunday when you go back home.
Theodore: Yes, mam!
Brittany: Nice try Theo your not getting these chocolate bars.
Theodore(to Jeanette): I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling chipmunk.
Jeanette: We'll help you as much as we can.

After a long Sunday of selling, the school was able to raise $7000
Alvin: Alright, boss, what do we do now?
Brittany: Boss, I like that.
Simon Alvin, you work on the stage Theodore you work on the refreshments and food.
Jeanette, you'll be my material supplier when I make the dresses.
And Eleanor, you'll be security if anyone does anything suspicious POUND THEM!
Eleanor: I'm liking this plan!
Simon: So I guess we should get to work.
Brittany: Let's go out. Lunch is on me to show my appreciation for you guys helping out.

The gang goes out to buy some meatball subs, and they start walking back to the school.
Alvin: Brittany, who's gonna be the model for the fashion show?
Brittany: Cheesy.
Alvin: WHAT?!
Brittany: You should see the look on your face! I'm messing. I'm the model. Who's the chipmunk with the most natu-
Brittany slams into a tree that has a beehive attached to it, and it falls on her head.
Brittany: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
Eleanor:  I gotcha, sis!
Eleanor plucks the beehive off Brittanys head.
Brittany: How bad is it?
Alvin: Brittany, no matter if you look good or not, you'll always be dear to our hearts.
Eleanor: You idiot! She knows whenever you say that you're hiding something from her.
Alvin: Ok then.
Brittany, you make me wanna throw up. You look hideous and disgusting.
Brittany: That's what other people would say to you if I didn't make you a cap.
Alvin: Fair point.
Brittany: Ok, we need a substitute now.
Jeanette?
Jeanette: No! I would break out in hives.
Simon and Theodore: We don't know anything about modelling.
Alvin: Same here, except I look like a model.
Eleanor: Yeah, keep reaching, buddy.
Brittany: YOU!
Eleanor: Me?
Brittany: Why didn't I think of you sooner? We're twins, after all.
All we need to do is get those things you put in shoes to make you taller and boom! You'll look fabulous.
Eleanor: Fabulous?
Brittany: Let me give you a synonym you'll look like, Brittany.
Eleanor: I'll do it, I guess.
Brittany: Alright! Hold up, do you hear that?
Theodore: I didn't hear anything.
Simon: Let's just go to the school. I've been working on an all-purpose skin cream.
Brittany: Just don't point any lasers on me.

In a nearby bush, the hipmunks spy on the chipmunks.
Brandon: Let's just go before they see us and destroy us.
Calvin: Would you just shut it.
If Harry didn't control us, I would get rid of you.
Cody: Yo Calvin, come talk with me.
Cody and Calvin walk over to another bush.
Cody: I'm getting tired if Brandon JUST LET ME BLOW HIM UP!
Calvin: Just let him chill the second he cracks we'll get rid of him.
Cody: You better. Now, what's the plan?
Calvin: As much as I'd hate to admit it, but the chipmunks friendship with each other is giving them the upper hand.
Cody: Then we find the 2 chipmunks most likely to split up the band.
Maybe Alvin and Brittany.
Calvin: Everyone knows that they fight with each other it won't affect the band.
What about that pigtailed and pig looking girl?
Cody: Eleanor?
Calvin: Yeah, her and Brittany are sisters it'll do some big damage if we turn them against each other.

Cody and Calvin go back to Brandon.
Calvin: Yo Brandon, I forgot to ask, how is the base you're building coming?
Brandon: Well, it took a long time because no one helped me, but I finished it.
Calvin: Great, all we need to do is lock up Alvin Simon Jeanette and Theodore in the base, and then we can work on Brittany and Eleanor.
Brandon: Hold up. What's going on?
Calvin: Just impersonate Simon and sway Jeanette.

In the school auditorium, Simon and Alvin are building the runway for the fashion show.
Simon: We're making good progress.
Alvin: Yep, you keep on working. I'll go on break.
Simon: Brittany just took us out to get subs. How are you taking a break.
Alvin: When I come back, I'll work twice as hard.
Alvin leaves to go to the cafeteria.
Calvin, wearing his cap forwards and in Alvin's clothes, walks up to Simon.
Simon:  Alvin, you came back?
Calvin: Yep, you were right, plus there's nothing good in the cafeteria.
Simon: Thanks, Al. I appreciate it.
Calvin: But you won't appreciate this.
Simon: Wait, what?
Calvin stuffs Simon into a bag.

Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, Cody wearing his hood down to look like Theodore walks up to Alvin.
Alvin: Hey, bro. How is the baking going.
Cody: I'm gonna cut to the chase. I'm not Theodore. I'm Cody.
Alvin(mouthful): At least you were chi-
Cody throws Alvin into a bag, too.

In the schoolyard, Jeanette is sorting out the materials she bought for Brittany and Brandon with Simon's glasses on walks up to her.
Jeanette: Hey, Simon.
Brandon: Hey, Jeanette.
Jeanette: You're not Simon.
When Simon smiles awkwardly like you're doing right now, he calls me Ms Miller. I can't tell if that's a good thing or bad thing.
Brandon: Listen, I'll let you go. Just don't say it out loud.
Cody and Calvin fly in.
Cody: TRAITOR!
Calvin: Hold your fire and capture Jeanette.
Jeanette: WA-
Cody stuffs Jeanette into a bag.
Calvin: We won't tell Harry, but you owe us. And if you betray us, I REPEAT IF YOU BETRAY US.
Cody: I'LL BLOW YOU UP!
Calvin: Exactly NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT.

Brandon rushes out of the schoolyard and bumps into Eleanor.
Eleanor: Hey, Simon.
Brandon: Hey...
Eleanor: Are you okay?
Brandon: Some stuff happened.
Eleanor: We're friends you can tell me.
Brandon: Sometimes I feel like no one appreciates me.
Eleanor: I appreciate you.
I can't count how many times you fixed my skateboard.
Just talk to the others. I'm sure they'll agree too.
Brandon: Thanks...
Eleanor: No problem.
Eleanor leaves.
Brandon: I can't let them get killed....

In the dorm, Brittany is sewing the dresses for the fashion show.
Cody walks up to her
Brittany: Hey Theodore.
Cody: Brittany, I have bad news. Eleanor set up the tree with the beehive on purpose.
She thinks you're the inferior twin.
You can't let her get away with this.
Brittany: She really said that...

Calvin meets up with Eleanor, who's in the school gym.
Eleanor: Hey Alvin.
Calvin: I'm sorry to say this, but I overheard Brittany saying that she's ashamed that a pig is subbing in for her.
Eleanor: Then why did she pick me?
Calvin: Who else was there to pick?
Eleanor and Brittany (simultaneously in different places): We'll I'll give her a piece of my mind!

Cody and Calvin leave the school and go to the beach where their newly built base was built.
They enter the base and go to the basement where Jeanette and the boys are locked up.
Jeanette: Please let us go!
Simon: Begging won't get you anywhere.
Calvin: Tell us where your father keeps his money.
Alvin: Like we'd tell you.
Theodore: Why do you guys need money?
Cody: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Calvin, let's go see how the girls are doing.
The two of them leave, and Brandon sneaks into the room.
Alvin: I'm guessing you wanna make fun of us, too.
Brandon: I'm letting you free. Just don't tell anyone.
Alvin: This doesn't make you a hero. I don't trust any of you hipmunks.

Eleanor and Brittany meet in the schoolyard.
Eleanor: BRITTANY!
Brittany: ELEANOR!
Eleanor(deadpan): Are you ashamed to have me subbing in for you?
Brittany(deadpan): No. Did you set up the tree with the beehive?
Eleanor: Nope. Sisterly hug?
Brittany: Yup.
The two of them hug.
Calvin: WHAT! How did you two make up immediately.
Brittany: Sometimes you gotta trust your sister CALVIN.
Brittany pokes Calvin's nose
Cody: Ok, you got us, but we're holding a ransom for your sister and your friends.
Simon: Nice try.
Calvin: WHAT IS GOING ON?!
Jeanette(Lying): Luckily, Simon always has bobby pins on him, so we got out.
Cody: I'LL BLO-
Calvin: Let's go. We can't risk getting damaged.
Calvin and Cody fly away.

Alvin: What a bunch of losers.
Theodore: Come on, guys, we have a fashion show to get to.

After a few finishing touches, the fashion takes place featuring Eleanor wearing Brittany's designs.
Theodore: I already thought she looked like a model before the fashion show, but she's an actual model now!
Brittany: That's because she doesn't let anyone control her, especially robot chipmunks.
Jeanette: Yeah, but why was Brandon nice to us....

Chapter Text

The gang is in their local ice cream shop for lunch.
Alvin: Who puts ACTUAL STRAWBERRIES in strawberry ice cream?
Brittany: It doesn't matter.
Alvin: It feels weird to say something without Eleanor severely roasting me.
You good?
Eleanor and Jeanette are just staring at her ice cream with no expression in their faces.
Simon: Are they okay?
Jeanette: Yeah, we're ok.
Eleanor: We've been thinking of befriending Brandon.
Alvin: NO!
Jeanette: Bu-
Brittany: NO!
Alvin: I don't trust none of them hipmunks, and you shouldn't, too.
Jeanette: But why did he save us?
Brittany: It's some scheme, some illusion to trick us.
Theodore: They sure are scary...
Simon: I'm tired of this hipmunk business, so I'm not picking a side.
Alvin: Fine, then Eleanor, you and me arm wrestle!
Eleanor: You're on!

Alvin and Eleanor start arm wrestling on the table.
Eleanor leads with a strong start, but Alvin eventually powers through and beats her.
Alvin: It's settled. We’re not befriending that evil sneak.
Eleanor: Fine, let's go home. We only have 5 hours before we go back to school.

At home, the chipmunks are just chilling when Simon busts open the front door with a cyan crystal in his hand.
Brittany: Ooh! That looks pretty!
Jeanette: What does it do?
Simon: I talked to Mad Man he said that there's two pairs of this crystal when two people hold both pairs something magical happens.
Eleanor: Be careful with that thing I don't like the sound of it.
Theodore: The word magical gives off good vibes let's look for the next part.
Alvin: If you guys are up for it.
Simon: For the research, I mean band?
Alvin Theodore and chipettes: FOR THE BAND!

The hipmunks stare into the house window.
Calvin: I've heard about these crystals. Should we acquire them?
Brandon: Sure, I guess.
Calvin: SILENCE TRAITOR!
Speak again, and I'll blow you up.
Cody(wiping a tear away): I'm so proud.

Calvin's body vibrates.
Calvin: Hold up, Harry is calling me.
He wants us to come back to the base.
Brandon Cody, you guys go look for the 2nd pair of the cyan crystal.
Cody KEEP BRANDON IN CHECK!
Cody(Making fist at Brandon): With pleasure...

Calvin arrives at the hipmunks base where Harry is waiting for them.
Harry: Calvin, my boy, are you ready for a surprise of a lifetime?
Calvin: Dead chipmunks?
Harry: Robotic chipmunks girls COME ON IN!
3 female robot chipmunks walk over.
Harry: Welcome back Charlene(Brittany lookalike), Bridgette(Jeanette lookalike), and Heather(Eleanorlookalike).
Calvin: You actually got the hipettes back! That doesn't change my burning hatred for those chipmunks.
Charlene: Don't think I forgot what happened between you and "Mildred."
Calvin: Just forget about that.
Bridgette, I'm watching you and Brandon. I know how you too get all soft around each other even softer than you losers already are.
Heather: Where is Brandon and that charmer Cody?
Calvin: Off to get something powerful...

The chipmunks look in the forest for the second pair of the crystal.
Jeanette: Babe, we've looked everywhere!
Alvin: Yeah, let's just give it up.
Simon: We must keep on looking. What if the crystal activates out of nowhere?
Brittany: Fair point.

Up in the sky, Cody and Brandon get a bird' eye view of the forest when they see a glowing light and they follow it.

Cody: We've found it!
Brandon: Let's just go home and see what Harry wants from us.
Brandon picks up the crystal, and he and Simon both get shocked at the same time.

Brandon, laying on the floor, wakes up to Alvin Theodore and the chipettes staring worriedly at him.
Brandon: How did you guys get here?
Theodore: We're your family. Why wouldn't we look after you when you pass out?
Brandon: What are you talking about?
Alvin: Stop playing around Simon.
Brandon: SIMON?
Jeanette: Oh no...
Brittany: What do you mean, oh no?
Jeanette: It seems that Simon has switched bodies with some person.
Brandon: I'M BRANDON!
Alvin(grumbling): Out of all people, why a hipmunk?
Eleanor: I think Simon has a black crystal in our dorm.
Alvin: Why should we help this scum?
Jeanette: Whether you like it or not, we have help him or Simon won't come back. We've experienced life without him first hand when we got shipwrecked.
Alvin: Fine.
Brittany: But if Brandon is in Simon’s body.
Alvin Theodore and chipettes: THEN SIMON IS IN BRANDONS BODY!

On another side of the forest, Simon wakes up laying on the ground.
Simon: Dang, I think that crystal electrocutes you. What do you think?...
Cody: I don't care. We found the crystal let's go.
Simon: CODY?!
Are you not gonna blow me up?
Cody: It is tempting very tempting, but Calvin's rules, Brandon.
Simon: Brandon?
Simon looks in a puddle to see his reflection.
Simon: Oh no....
Cody: What are you waiting for? Start flying!
Simon: I kinda forgot...
Cody: You goddamn idiot just stretch your legs out.
Simon: Oh, I remember!

Simon and Cody fly over to the hipmunks base.

Calvin: What took you so long?
Cody: Somehow, Brandon got electrocuted even though he's a robot.
Calvin: Harry got the hipettes back.
Cody: Nice. Just be careful with Brandon and Bridgette. We can't let them be getting close to the chipmunks.
Bridgette: Is kindness that much of a bad thing?
Calvin: Yes, you get held down by it.
I can do whatever I want when I want to do it. And that's because I don't let anyone get in the way of my plans.
Including you guys.
Heather: Same feelings here. Any of you cross me. I'll make you wish you were never born.
Cody (To Simon and Bridgette): You gotta toughen up or something severely bad will happen to you.
Simon: (Gulp) Noted...
Charlene: Alright, when you guys knocked out and captured Jeanette and the boys, you put a GPS chip on them, right?
Calvin: Yeah, so?
Charlene: Let's just follow them and see what these crystals do they must know.
Heather: Maybe they have more.
Cody: Harry did say we can do whatever we want with those chipmunks.
Calvin: We get rid of them ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Brandon and the chipmunks arrive at the school.
Jeanette: How do we get in?
Brandon: If I had my rocket launchers, I would just blow up the window.
Alvin: No one asked you!
Eleanor: Just leave him alone, Alvin.
Brittany(Sheepishly): Simon may have given me an unlimited tube of lipstick with a laser on one of the sides.
Theodore: Awesome, I guess.
Alvin: Give me that!
Alvin grabs Brittany’s lipstick tube and cuts open a window for the school.
Eleanor: Alright, let's grab the crystal an-
Eleanor is interrupted by a missed blowing up a window.
Calvin: Alvin, my boy, did you miss me?
Jeanette: Simon is still alive!
Eleanor: He won't be if you don't hush up.
Cody: It's time to settle this one and for all.
Alvin: YOU'RE ON!
Alvin uses Brittany's lipstick tube to slice Heather in half.
Charlene: YOU'RE DEAD!

The chipmunks and hipmunks start brawling while Brandon Simon and Bridgette try to stay out of the fight.
Simon and Bridgette bump into each other.
Bridgette: Oh, sorry, Brandon!
Simon: Can I tell you something?
Bridgette: Of course!
Simon: I'm not Brandon. I'm Simon from the chipmunks, me and Brandon switched bodies.
Bridgette: I'll help you stay undercover.

Meanwhile, the chipmunks and hipmunks are still fighting.
Brittany: Alvin, we can't just keep on fighting. We need to get the black crystal.
Alvin: You're right. Go get the crystal.
Jeanette: You don't have to!
Jeanette holds the black crystal in her hand.
Calvin: GIVE ME THAT!
Calvin grabs Jeanette, and she drops the crystal.
Alvin: Forget the crystal! Girls go back and get help we'll deal with everything else.
The chipettes run out of the school, and Brandon follows after them.
Brittany: What are you doing following us?
Brandon: If I die, you'll never get Simon back, so I'm safe with you.
Brittany: Whatever...
Brandon: I want to help you! Listen, we're not alone there's this chipmu-
Cody: Found you! Want to spoil our plans? How do you even know this? You're Simon! Wait a minute, Brandon acting weirder than usual, and now this, that crystal made you switch bodies, didn't it?
Eleanor: Brittany, this would be a good time for you to hand me your lipstick tube!
Brittany: Oh yeah.
Brittany passes her lipstick tube to Eleanor, and she slices Cody's arm off!
Cody: AAGH!
He topples over due to the imbalanced weight of his body.
Cody: CALVIN WILL SLASH SIMON NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO!

Jeanette(Running): I hope Alvin and Theodore are having better luck...

Back at the school, the fight is still going on, but everyone is tired.
Calvin(panting): Just give up my cpu is overheating.
Alvin: That means you're gonna crack soon
Calvin: Is it my fault that Charlene is useless and Brandon and Bridgette couldn't find for their lives?
Maybe I should unleash my full power.
Calvin detaches both of his hands and launches them onto Theodore and Alvin's necks.
Calvin: You had a good run, Seville.
Theodore: I guess it's over now.
Alvin: It can't be I never LOSE!
Theodore: You do know Ian copyrighted that, right?
Alvin: Ah nuts!
Calvin charges up a laser in his mouth, but before he can shoot it, Simon punches him and removes his hands from Theodore and Alvin's neck.
Theodore: Simon?
Simon: Yes, it's me. Just grab the crystal and get out of here.
Theodore grabs the black crystal from the floor, and he and Alvin rush out of the building.
Calvin: I had them right there.... I HAD THEM RIGHT THERE! I'M TIRED OF YOU! It's over....
Simon: What do you mean it's over?
Calvin: Say goodbye, Brandon.
Charlene, get me a chair.
Calvin ties up Simon to a chair.
Calvin: Time to get rid of you once and for all.

Theodore and Alvin catch up to Brandon and the chipettes.
Theodore: We've got the crystal!
Brittany: What are you waiting for?!
Theodore hands Brandon the crystal, and him and Simon switch back bodies.

At the school, Calvin charges up his rocket launcher.
Brandon: Hold up, what's going on, WHY AM I IN THIS CHAIR? GUYS, IT'S ME BRANDON!
Bridgette: Wait, don't shoot him!
Calvin: IF YOU WANNA STAND UP FOR HIM, YOU CAN JOIN HIM TOO.
Calvin releases a rocket, and Brandon and Bridgette get blown up.

On the street, the chipmunks see the explosion from the distance.
Simon: Oh no...
Alvin: What happened back there?
Simon: They were gonna blow me up!
Theodore: I guess when you and Brandon switched back, he took your place.
Eleanor: He didn't deserve that.
Alvin: (Sighs) You're right, Eleanor he was one of the good ones.
Simon: This has gone too far. We need to stop them at all costs.
Brittany: If they want war...
All: They'll get war!

At the school, Calvin stares at what remains of Brandon and Bridgette.
Calvin: Where's Cody?
Cody(from outside): I'm here! Toppled sideways. Help!
Calvin: Oh, shut up.
Cody: You don't get it! The crystal made Simon and Brandon switched bodies. And I saw Brandon outside about to spill our information to the chipettes.
Calvin: It's time Harry introduces himself to the chipmunks....

Chapter Text

The chipmunks are chilling in their dorm.

Eleanor: I'm so bored...
Alvin: Writing songs used to pass the time, but there's no use now.
Theodore: Sometimes I wish our mother were still here to guide us.
Alvin: We don't need her...
Simon: I've never heard anything about the girls' parents.
Brittany: Well, our mother was eaten by a fox, and our father left us.
Alvin: I'm sorry about your mom, but you should forget your dad — you succeeded without him.
Jeanette: You're right, Alvin. We may not have our parents, but we have Dave and you guys.
Simon: So what do we do now?
Eleanor: I don't know... we just chill?
Alvin: Someday someone will get us back into the spotlight. Someday...

Meanwhile, in the Hipmunks' base, the Hipmunks and Hipettes are plotting their next scheme.

Calvin: Harry, you need to meet the chipmunks. It's about time they find out.
Harry: I know, but there's something familiar about those Chipettes...
Cody: Just meet up with the chipmunks and give them the illusion that you can make them famous.
Heather: I don't know if you noticed, dingus, but the chipmunks are already famous.
Charlene: They've lost popularity. They're desperate.
Calvin: Even though we're outnumbered—
Harry: THANKS TO SOMEBODY!
Calvin: They were TRAITORS! I warned Brandon and Bridgette about getting soft, but they couldn't listen. It was about time they got burned.
Harry: Listen, dimwits — I'll engage with your plan. Just give me the directions to the school.

The next day the chipmunks are in their separate classes until they get called by Ian on the intercom.
The chipmunks arrive in Ian's office.

Ian: This is Benjamin. He wants to help manage you for a few days. Apparently he's part of a charity association.
Jeanette: Anyone who's part of a charity is fine by me.
Alvin: This is exactly what we need!
Harry (Benjamin): Let's go outside — my car is there.
Alvin: How can you afford a custom chipmunk-made car? Those are expensive!
Harry: I have my ways...

Harry and the chipmunks leave the school and head over to the airport.

Harry: You guys should sneak over to the cargo hold.
A chipmunk can't be that rich.
Brittany: Can you expect a pretty girl like me to camp in the cargo hold?
Harry: Yes — now go.
Brittany: Fine...

The chipmunks, surrounded by animals in cages, stay in the plane's cargo hold.

Jeanette: It's not that bad here — we've got lots of friends.
Eleanor: Animals don't count as friends.
Brittany (getting her face licked by a pig): Especially ones who don't understand BASIC BOUNDARIES!
Alvin: Let's just sit back and relax. This is what we wanted, right?
Theodore: No offense, Alvin, but I don't really want to be next to wild animals.
Alvin: I meant that we have someone to guide us and put us back in the spotlight now.
Simon: Can we trust him, though?
Jeanette: Can we not?
Simon: We'll see...

After a bumpy flight, Harry and the chipmunks arrive in New York.

Brittany: After my face was pressed by a pig for three hours, I'm glad to be here.
Alvin: So what's the plan, Benjamin?
Harry: We perform.
Theodore: Right away?
Harry: Yep — you've got a gig at Radio City Music Hall.
Brittany: It's been a long time since we last performed.
Harry: Who cares? Just do your best.
Jeanette (whispering to Simon): Are you sure we can't trust him?
Simon: We'll see...

Harry and the chipmunks enter Radio City Music Hall.

Alvin: Wow — the crowd looks little today.
Eleanor: Let's savour this moment. This is the biggest crowd we've had in ages.
Harry: Alright, go perform!

Theodore: And a one... two... a one, two, three, four!

Chipettes:

🎵 Hey boys, just what was that noise
Comin' from over there?
If it wasn't you and it wasn't me
Then what in the wide wide world could it be? 🎵

🎵 You want to scream and shout
And jump right out of your feet
Don't be cryin' about it
Come on and take my hand and you will understand
Everything's gonna be alright
Don't you be afraid when things go bump in the night
Get closer to me and, baby, hold on tight
'Cause everything's gonna be all right 🎵

Chipmunks:

🎵 Hey girl, we don't wanna rock your world
But we don't believe in that mean old boogie man
There ain't no such thing, no how, no way, where
But sometimes late at night we still get a little scared 🎵

🎵 You want to scream and shout
And jump right out of your feet
Don't be cryin' about it
Come on and take my hand and you will understand
Everything's gonna be alright
Don't you be afraid when things go bump in the night
Get closer to me and, baby, hold on tight
'Cause everything's gonna be all right 🎵

Alvin: Thank you! You're a great crowd!
Brittany: It's good to be back!

Harry is backstage counting all the money he got for commission.

Harry: That's what I'm talking about...

The chipmunks enter the backstage area, startling Harry.

Harry: You scared me!
Simon: Why? Are you hiding something?
Alvin: Simon, quit it!
Harry: Listen to your brother, Simon. And all the money I'm holding is going to charity.
Theodore: Aww, that's nice.
Harry: Let's go to our hotel.
Brittany: And get some rest?
Harry: No — we'll unload our stuff and you'll perform again.
Alvin: Oh, come on!
Harry: Guys, I'm gonna be honest: you aren't pulling in the best numbers, so we're going to have to play lots of shows to raise enough money to greatly benefit the charity I'm donating to.
Alvin: Fair point.
Simon: Oh no...

For the rest of the day the chipmunks perform in various places and get more and more tired after each show.

They arrive back at their hotel that night.

Harry: Great shows today. Don't worry — tomorrow there'll be fewer performances.
Alvin: Thanks, man.
Harry: No, I should thank you! Now I have to go to the toilet.
Harry leaves to go to the toilet.
Jeanette: I'm exhausted.
Eleanor: At least it's for a good cause.
Simon: Is it?
Brittany: Simon, you're acting like a narc — just let your suspicions go.
Simon: I'm not going to stand here and let someone take advantage of my family again.
Alvin: If you think Benjamin is so bad, stick a GPS chip in his hat that he left on his bed.
Simon: Fine!
Simon picks up Harry's hat and sticks a fly-sized GPS chip in it.
Alvin: Now if he runs away somewhere, we can find him.
Harry: Alright — you guys should go to bed and I'll donate the money we made.
Simon: Don't forget your hat, Benjamin!
Harry: Thank you, Simon.
Harry leaves the room.
Simon: Let the fun begin...

After watching the GPS chip for thirty minutes, Simon discovers that Harry has gone to Resorts World Casino.

Simon: Don't doubt me!
Alvin: What do you mean?
Simon: Benjamin isn't going to a charity — he's going to a casino!
Eleanor: I mean, he did manage all this, so maybe he just wants to spend a little bit of money there.
Simon: Let's check the microphone inside the GPS chip then.
Harry (speaker): If I play my cards right, the money those gullible chipmunks made will multiply! Sadly, I would have to use most of it to repair the Hipmunks after they get their asses kicked by the chipmunks.
Alvin: Alright, that's enough!
Brittany: When Brandon and Simon were in each other's bodies, he told me and my sisters that some chipmunk was in charge of them. Benjamin must be what he was talking about.
Jeanette: We're sorry, Simon.
Eleanor: We can't all be as smart as you.
Simon: At least we're safe for now.
Alvin: Let's get revenge on him!
Simon: I may have an idea of how we can do that...

The next morning, Harry and the chipmunks go back to Radio City Music Hall to perform again.

Harry: Alright — you guys perform and I'll head backstage.

Harry heads backstage.

Alvin (to crowd): Sorry, but Theodore and Eleanor are having some troubles, so you'll have to wait a little bit.

Eleanor and Theodore step outside, get into a trench coat, and enter through the back door to get backstage.

Eleanor (manly voice): Excuse me, sir, but I have been notified that you entered a sweepstake under the name "Calvin."
Harry: I'm not Calvin, but I know someone named him — he probably meant to put my name there.
Eleanor: Alright, can I get your name?
Harry: Harry Miller.
Eleanor (normal voice): What?!
Harry: Why did your voice change?
Harry rips off Eleanor and Theodore's trench coat, and they fall to the ground.
Harry: Eleanor!
Theodore: Why did you change your voice, Eleanor?
Eleanor: Harry Miller was our father's name.
Harry: I'm not your dad!
Eleanor: You left your wife and three children to hustle full time with your buddy KH.
Harry: You really are my daughter.
Eleanor: You seriously don't remember us?
Harry: How is your mother doing?
Eleanor: She's dead.
Harry stares in shock.
Eleanor: Maybe she could've survived if you had been there to protect her.
Harry: It's not my fault that she wasn't strong enough to survive. I can't let you two bozos ruin my plans.
Alvin and Brittany enter the room.
Brittany: Hey — what is taking you guys so long?
Harry: Looks like I have to deal with four of you now.
Harry grabs Alvin, Brittany, Eleanor, and Theodore, shoves them into a drawer, and locks it.
Harry: Goodbye for now...
Harry runs out the door.
Brittany: Great — we're stuck in a drawer now.
Eleanor (nervously): We can't be stuck forever, right? Someone will help us!
Alvin: Why is she acting weird?
Brittany: She's claustrophobic. Why did you guys take so long? Benjamin would absolutely fall for our plan.
Eleanor: His real name is Harry Miller.
Brittany: Harry Miller as in our dad?
Eleanor: Yep.
Brittany: I didn't think he could get much worse.

Simon and Jeanette enter backstage.

Jeanette: Where is everybody?
Eleanor (muffled): WE'RE HERE — GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Simon unlocks the drawer.
Brittany: Here's a tip for you boys: DEODORANT!
Alvin: Yeah, Theodore.
Theodore: Why is it always me?
Eleanor: That doesn't matter right now.
Jeanette: Benjamin's name is Harry Miller.
Jeanette: Our dad?
Brittany: Yep.
Jeanette: I feel ashamed to be the daughter of someone so cruel.
Simon: So how do we get back to the school?
Alvin: Anyone want to get their face squished by a pig?
Brittany: Why do the gods hate me?

After sneaking onto a plane's cargo hold again, the chipmunks are able to navigate their way back to the school.

Ian: Where's Benjamin?
Brittany: He just pocketed our money and ran off.
Eleanor: We just found out that he's our dad.
Theodore: We're sorry that you had to find out about that.
Jeanette: Don't be — I think we all know that our real dad is back home.
Ian (wiping a tear away): Just like Vin Diesel said, family is everything.

Chapter Text

The school cafeteria is lively as ever, but the chipmunks, on the other hand, are the complete opposite.

Alvin: This awkward silence is getting… awkward.
Simon: Do you even listen to yourself?
Brittany: I can't get that rat Harry out of my mind! How can he be our father?
Eleanor: We'll just have to separate the art from the artist.
Theodore: We need to save our careers ourselves.
Alvin: Wait — I think I just had a genius moment!
Brittany: You can't be much of a genius if you're stealing my lines.
Alvin: We should add some new people to the band.
Simon, Eleanor, Theodore, and Brittany (together): WHAT?!
Jeanette: He's got a point. A new member would spark some interest in our band.
Brittany: I hope this doesn't backfire.
Eleanor: What if the Hipmunks pretend to be ordinary chipmunks and — BAM! — they ambush us?
Simon: We've had a long streak without those fools.
Alvin: Enough yapping. This time tomorrow — chipmunk tryouts are on!

---

The next day, in the schoolyard, the chipmunks wait for recruits.

Eleanor: Where is everybody?
Theodore: We really have hit rock bottom.
Alvin: Stay strong, my brother.
Brittany: If a boy joins, I hope he's cute.
Alvin: Not cuter than me, right?
Brittany: We'll see...
Jeanette: Somebody's coming!

Two male chipmunks walk up to the group. One is tall and lanky with stubble; he's wearing an unbuttoned orange shirt and sandals — Harold. The other is short and wearing a yellow unbuttoned shirt — Chad.

Harold: Sup, brah.
Eleanor (confused): Uh — hey?
Theodore: That's no way to treat our new friends. What are your names, by the way?
Harold: Harold and Chad, brah.
Brittany: Why does he keep saying "brah"?
Harold: That's just my speech pattern, brah.
Jeanette: Would the other chipmunk like to say something?
Harold: He doesn't talk, man.
Alvin (whispering to Simon): Are they high?
Harold: No, brah — sober as can be.
Simon: Can you play something for us?
Harold: When the universe allows us, bro.
Eleanor: What does that even mean?
Harold: You don't know what the universe tells you — you just understand.
Brittany: Can we have some time to talk among ourselves, please?
Harold: No prob.

---

The chipmunks rush to some bushes to talk about their "interesting" new allies.

Alvin: They are certainly something.
Brittany: You can say that again.
Alvin: They are certainly something.
(Brittany facepalms.)
Simon (whispering to Brittany): Don't fall for the rage bait.
Jeanette: Why are we being skeptical? Our family is full of totally different people. How are they different?
Eleanor: You've got a point.
Theodore: What choice do we have? They're the only ones who came to our stand.
Alvin: Fine. Let's welcome them to the family with open arms.

Back at the stand —

Brittany: Well done, boys. You've officially been chosen to be chipmunks-in-training!
Harold: I thought we were already chipmunks, brah.
Eleanor: This is gonna be a long day...

---

In the library, Jeanette and Simon sit down with Harold and Chad.

Jeanette: So tell us about yourselves.
Harold: My name's Harold, and this is Chad.
Simon: Can we get a little more info?
Harold: Like what, brah?
Jeanette: How did you get into music?
Harold: One day, Chad and I were in the forest when I heard Chad making a fire beat with some rocks and sticks. Then I added some bars and told him, "Brah — let's turn it up to the next level." So the three of us performed wherever we liked, and then we heard about this school.
Simon: Hold up — what do you mean, "the three of us"?
Harold: Me, Chad, and music, brah.
Chad: You forgot the universe, brah.
Simon: He can speak?
Harold: I'm hungry — where's the grub, brah?
Jeanette (taking notes): Go to the cafeteria. You'll meet Eleanor and Theodore there.

---

In the cafeteria, Harold and Chad eat pizza like wild wolves.

Eleanor: You're really enjoying that pizza, huh?
Harold: Pizza is life, brah.
Theodore: So what's your diet, if you have one, of course?
Harold: Yeah, we’ve got a diet. Breakfast is pizza. Lunch is pizza. Dinner is—
Eleanor: Let me guess — pizza?
Harold: Nah, man. It's dough cut into triangular slices, with tomato sauce and mozzarella, then baked in an oven.
Eleanor: That's pizza, brah.
Harold: I guess it is, man.
Theodore: Just head to the schoolyard — Brittany and Alvin are waiting for you.

---

Harold and Chad arrive at the schoolyard.

Brittany: Hello, boys.
Alvin: A rule us chipmunks have: when Dave can't help us, we write our own songs. We're going to help you do that.
Harold: Nice, man.
Alvin: What do you like?
Harold: Pizza, bro.
Brittany: That's it?
Chad: What else is there to love?
Brittany: Do you have any celebrity crushes?
Harold: It depends, brah — are you a celebrity?
Brittany: Aw, thanks!
Alvin (passive-aggressive): I would like this conversation to end quickly.
Brittany: Don't you have a family?
Harold: Where we're from, everybody is family, but there's only one parent.
Alvin (deadpan): The universe?
Chad: The universe, brah.
Brittany: Tonight we perform at the school fundraiser to fix the broken window Eleanor and Alvin broke when playing baseball.
Alvin: Eleanor bakes a mean cookie and throws a hard ball.
(Brittany gives Alvin a side-eye.)
Alvin: Bad timing...
Brittany: Just meet us in the school auditorium tomorrow.
Harold: Alright, brah.
Brittany: Why do you say "brah"?
Harold: Where we're from everyone's middle name is "brah."
Alvin: Is it wrong I expected the answer to be even more stupid?

---

Later that day, the chipmunks wait for Harold and Chad in the auditorium.

Eleanor: Where are they?
Brittany (sarcastic): The universe does not respect your patience.
Jeanette: The universe does not respect your sarcasm.
Alvin: And I respect how you humbled those two.

Harold and Chad arrive.

Harold: What's up, guys?
Eleanor: You're late, brah.
Harold: You're finally speaking the language!
Theodore: Let's perform!
Chad: What do we play?
Jeanette: What can you play?
Harold: Nothing.
Simon (facepalming): How did we not cover this?
Eleanor: Shhh!
Simon: Only Jeanette can hush me!
Jeanette: Shhh!
Simon: As you command.
Alvin: Do you hear that?
Theodore: It sounds like the roof's gonna collapse!
Brittany: RUN!

Everyone runs out as the roof crashes to the ground.

Alvin: Who did that!?

Alvin gets tapped on the back.

Calvin: Hello!
Calvin tries to punch Alvin, but Alvin ducks.

Alvin: Didn't your mother tell you to never hit a beautiful man's face?
Calvin: I don't have a mother!
Eleanor: Ha ha!
Calvin: YOUR MOTHER IS DEAD.
Eleanor: Dang.
Chad: I'm not liking this guy's aura, dude.
Theodore: He hates us because we beat him in a music competition.
Harold: That's harsh, brah. Be right back.

Harold runs into the woods.

Simon: COME BACK AND HELP US, YOU COWARD!
Chad: Trust the process, brah.

Alvin: Alright, Calvin — let's settle this mano e… e…
Alvin (to Jeanette): Yo, Jeanette, what's the Spanish word for "robot"?
Jeanette: El robot. It's that simple, Alvin.
Alvin: Thanks, Jeanette. Let's settle this mano e el robot.

Calvin: Catch these manos!

Calvin punches Alvin in the face, knocking out several teeth.

Alvin: Did you really need to do that?
Brittany: His speech pattern has gotten even worse.
Jeanette: Don't just stand there help him!

Calvin puts one foot on Alvin's head  but he's interrupted by the sound of a stampede of chipmunks.

Chipmunk 1: Is this who you were talking about, brah?
Harold: Yeah, man.
Theodore: Who are they?
Chad: Our family, brah.

Calvin: NO WAI—

Calvin is trampled, losing an arm in the process.

Eleanor: You get weaker day by day.
Calvin: Harry is going soft on you because he doesn't want to hurt his daughters.
Jeanette: I guess he does care a little.
Calvin: That munk only cares about himself, and I respect that. Anyway  gotta blast, losers!

Harry flies away to the Hipmunks' base.

Alvin (struggling to stand): Good job.
Brittany: We need to get you to the hospital.
Simon: And we need to officially label you two as chipmunk members.
Jeanette: We thought you were weird and crazy, but you stayed true to your spirits — and that's undeniably what being a chipmunk is all about.
Harold: Hell nah.
Eleanor: Excuse me?
Harold: We're sons of the universe  we're part of his band.
Theodore: That is stupid, but we're not gonna judge you for it.
Simon: We would like to thank your family.
Chad: "Our" family, brah you're the universe's children as well.
Alvin: Can I go to the hospital?
Brittany: The universe will make that decision.

Chapter Text

Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are in the school hallway about to go to their next class.
Alvin: What class do you guys have next?
Theodore: Science.
Simon: Coding. A.K.A. making video games.
Alvin: I know what coding is, Simon. I have geography.
Theodore: That could be fun.
Alvin: Spending time with Jeanette has been rotting your brain. I'm just gonna camp in the toilet.
Simon: Speaking of Jeanette, can you he—
Before Simon can finish, Alvin leaves to go to the toilet.
Simon: Wait here, Theodore.
Simon follows Alvin into the toilet.

Alvin: Bro, you startled me—what if I was taking a piss?
Simon: I need your help.
Alvin: I'm listening.
Simon: Next Tuesday marks our two-year anniversary. It's a day I'll never forget. I sat down in the science classroom and my heart melted.
Alvin: No way! My brain just melted listening to this.
Simon: It's me and Jeanette's anniversary next Tuesday, and I need to… get built.
Alvin: What did you say?
Simon: Get… built.
Alvin: Speak up!
Simon: I NEED TO GET BUILT!
Alvin: I knew this day would come. Tomorrow you're gonna train with the best coach I know.
Simon: Let me guess — you?
Alvin: Nope, but I am pretty awesome.
Simon: Eleanor?
Alvin: Nope. Coach Dobkins!
Simon: The soccer coach?
Alvin: Yep! Come with me to soccer practice tomorrow — we're gonna get you on the team.
Simon: If you say so.

The next day, after class ends, Alvin and Simon head out to the school soccer pitch.
Alvin: Hey, Coach — can I talk to you for a second?
Coach: Make it quick.
Alvin: May I suggest we add my brother Simon to the team?
Coach: Simon Seville? Are you sure he's up to our standards?
Alvin: I hate to admit it, but sports aren't just about strength — it takes a certain lev—
Coach: Looks like he rubbed off on you. I'll give him a chance, but I need to get rid of a player on the team.
Alvin: Who do you have in mind?
Coach: You see that girl Simon's talking to?
Alvin: Eleanor?
Coach: Bingo.
Alvin: Wait a minute — you can't kick her off!
Coach: News flash, buster: I'm the coach. I can do whatever I want with my team. You know her better than anyone else here, so you have to break the news to her.
Alvin (softly): Yes, sir…

Alvin walks up to Eleanor and Simon on the pitch.
Eleanor: Having Simon on the team actually isn't a bad idea. Sadly, we need someone to leave the team.
Alvin: About that…
Simon: What?
Alvin: You see…
Eleanor: Just spit it out, Alvin.
Alvin: Eleanor, I'm sorry, but you've been kicked off the team.
Eleanor (panicking): I thought I did well on the team!
Alvin: You did, but the coach just wants you out for some reason.
Eleanor: Well — see you after practice…

Eleanor slumps back to the dormitories.
Simon: I feel like this is somehow my fault.
Alvin: The coach is obviously out of his mind for kicking Eleanor off.
Simon: We need to get her back on the team. But how?
Alvin: Why are you asking me? You're the brains.
Simon: Oh yeah.

Back at the dorms, Eleanor arrives, dejected.
Jeanette: Are you okay, sis?
Brittany: Obviously something is wrong — just look at her face.
Eleanor: My coach kicked me off the soccer team.
Theodore: But you're amazing at soccer!
Eleanor: I hope that's true. But I think I know why Coach Dobkins kicked me off. Every time Coach Dobkins talks with other coaches, they always bring up how a girl is one of the best players on his team, and he's always been embarrassed to talk about it. I could tell he wanted me off the team.
Theodore: Well, maybe this is a good thing.
Eleanor: HOW IS THIS A GOOD THING?
Theodore: You can be a little aggressive sometimes, so maybe a break from sports could be good for you.
Brittany: He's got a point.
Eleanor: Well, it doesn't look like I've got a choice.

Back at the soccer pitch, Simon and Alvin meet up with Chad.
Alvin: Alright, Chad — I know I got you onto the team last week, but I'm gonna need you to leave the team.
Chad: Damn, why, brah?
Simon: It's for Eleanor — plus we'll get you pizza.
Chad: You had me at pizza.
Simon: "Pizza" was the last word; that means you weren't listening to anything else I said.
Alvin: It's a joke, man. So, Chad — will you help us?
Chad: Sure, brah.
Alvin: COACH — GET OVER HERE!
Coach: What is it?
Simon: Chad has decided to leave the team, so Eleanor can come back now!
Coach: Eleanor wasn't up to our standards. I had to kick her off anyway.
Alvin: But I thought she was a good player!
Coach: Alvin, I'm the professional here, not you.
Alvin: But I have eyes, and I see that Eleanor is the best player on this team.
Simon: In three… two… one…
Alvin: Except for me.
Simon: There it is.
Coach: Either get me a new player or get out!
Alvin and Simon: Fine…

Alvin and Simon walk back to the dormitories.
Alvin: Hey, Theo — how is Eleanor?
Theodore: She's… surviving.
Simon: I'm guessing she's doing that thing she does where she stares at a wall until her life turns back to normal.
Theodore: How did you know that?
Simon: I've known the girls for almost two years; I have noticed all their patterns.
Alvin: Just get over it! That's what a man does.
Theodore: First of all, Eleanor is not a man. Secondly, even if she was, men still feel.
Jeanette (walking in): I might have an idea.
Alvin, Simon, and Theodore: What?
Jeanette: Eleanor told me she felt Coach Dobkins was ashamed to have a girl be his best player.
Alvin: Second best player.
Jeanette: The point is — maybe if we disguise Eleanor as a boy…
Simon: You have once again struck me with your genius.
Jeanette: Aww, you flatterer.
Alvin: Let's just go. Simon, Theodore — you come with me. Jeanette, you stay and make sure Eleanor is okay.

Alvin yanks off Eleanor's bedsheet, but she has no reaction.
Alvin: Dang — she must really be zoned out.
Theodore: I've tried everything: painting, gardening — she won't even do cooking.
Simon: That's why we have a plan.
Eleanor jumps out of her bed.
Eleanor: What plan?!
Alvin: Alright — it's not complicated. You just have to cross-dress a little.
Eleanor: Okay?...
Alvin (handing Eleanor clothes): Here's a hoodie and a cap — red, just like mine.
Eleanor: I guess this could work.

Alvin, Simon, Theodore, and Eleanor go to the soccer field.
Alvin: Coach, we've got a new player!
Coach: I swear if you bring Eleanor—Alvin!
Simon: Eleanor is old news. Now we've got Eliot.
Coach: How do I know he's got potential?
Eleanor: Let me show you.
Simon: Get in goal.
Eleanor places a ball in front of the goal and Simon goes over to the goal at the other end.
Eleanor kicks the ball and it shoots like lightning. Simon ducks under the ball and Eleanor scores.
Alvin: THAT WAS AWESOME!
Eleanor: Alright!
Eleanor front-flips three times in a row, but her cap falls off.
Coach: ELEANOR? ALVINNN!!! I'm gonna tell you this, and I'm gonna tell you this good, Alvin: Eleanor is not coming back EVER. Try to interfere and YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM. So what's it gonna be?
Alvin: What is your problem, man? Just let her back — it's not that hard!
Coach: I want other teams to fear us. How scared could they possibly be when they see a girl carrying the team?
Alvin: Coach…
Coach: I ASKED YOU A QUESTION, ALVIN — WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?
Alvin: What did I tell you when I first joined the team? Disrespect my family and I'll be gone in a landslide.
Coach: You said family, not friends — so who cares if she's off the team?
Alvin: I did say family. If you don't respect my sister, why should I respect you?
Coach: Leave. NOW.

The boys and Eleanor head up to the dorms.
Eleanor: I guess we're both off the team now.
Alvin: I guess we are.
Eleanor: Do you really think of me as your sister?
Alvin: Yeah, I guess. Sister or not, I'll make sure nobody messes with you.
Eleanor: I know you will.
Theodore: I'm just happy the Hipmunks didn't c—
Simon (covering Theodore's mouth): Let's not jinx it, buddy.