Work Text:
Creeak..
Has that door always been so squeaky? Charles Lee cursed himself under his breath as he stepped inside his dorm room. He was certain that Samuel was asleep but still, he didn't deserve to be woken up over Lee being all pissy. He turned and locked the door behind him as he stepped forward. Pulling out his phone, he checked the time, 1:26 AM. Yeah, there was no way Samuel was still awake. He walked over to his nightstand, and opened the first drawer. There were only two things in it: a pack of Newports and a lighter. Lee stared at the open drawer before eventually scooping up the Newports and pulling one out. Lee doesn't smoke. Really, he doesn't do it often. He only really smokes when he's mad. The problem with that is that he doesn't just smoke, he chainsmokes. He'll empty half a pack in the span of 20 minutes –which, depending on who you ask, is kind of impressive. Lee wasn't even completely sure what he was mad at, he just knew he was mad. I guess everything that happened today had just sort of piled onto him. Every little comment, argument, and remark kept adding heat to the stove and waiting until the pot boiled over. He was never that good at managing his emotions anyway. He'd be fine one minute and the next he'd be yelling and the next he'd be crying. In a way, he had convinced himself that the cigarettes balanced him out. He knew that was bullshit but it was more comforting than the truth. He rummaged for the lighter and held the cigarette up to his mouth. He lit the cigarette and breathed it in. He used to cough a bit in the first inhale but after a while he stopped.
Fiddling with the cap, the slick metal lighter slipped out of his hand and crashed onto the floor. Lee heard the familiar creak of a bed. He turned around to see Samuel turning on his lamp, letting its light fill up the room. Samuel rubbed his eyes, “Lee?" Lee's face soured. Now he would have to deal with Samuel. He didn't reply, only staring at the other boy. “Lee, what are you doing? Are you… smoking?" Samuel got up from his bed and as he came closer, Lee could make out a worried look on his face. Samuel raised his hand up to Lee's elbow and attempted to caress it. Lee flinched at the touch and shoved Samuel to the side. He walked closer to the door, “What does it matter to you?" As he opened the door, he felt a hand tugging on his shoulder. “Lee, where are you goi-" He smacked the hand away, spinning around. “Don't touch me, asshole. I'm a grown man, I can do what I want." Lee walked out the door, slammed it, and started running. He didn't want Samuel, that ass, following him, and he knew he could hear his yelling from the room. Lee wasn't a hundred percent sure where to go but he had a vague idea. As he opened the door to the outside, he felt a cold breeze hit his entire body. He was wearing a leather jacket but it was still cold as hell. He began to walk out.
***
Samuel stood in front of the closed door for a minute before walking to his desk. He debated going back to bed. Lee was right, he's a grown man and he can make whatever bad decisions he wants. On the other hand, Samuel didn't want Lee to get hurt so his stupid morals won out. Samuel had known about Lee's little smoke breaks for a while. That's just what happens when you room with someone. He was never awake for them but he knew they happened. Whether it was Lee smelling like smoke the next day or finding ashes on the boy's nightstand, Lee was never good at hiding it. The one time Samuel did bring it up, Lee got really defensive making up three different stories about it. Samuel had never really bothered him about it since then but this time was different. He was awake for it and by the looks of it, Lee was pissed. Samuel thought of what to do. He could walk around but this campus is massive so it would take forever to find him. He could ask Maria where he would be. That's probably the best option, so he picked up his phone and called Maria. After a couple rings, she picked up.
[ Samuel? Why are you calling me? ]
“Oh thank god, I need some help.” The background audio sounded like a party.
[ Um, okay just wait a minute. ]
After a bit, the background music died down and the click of a lock could be heard.
[ Okay anyways, what did you need? ]
“If Lee was mad, where would he go?" Samuel bit at his nail. An audible sigh was heard across the phone.
[ He's probably in one of his moods again. He might be in the basement of Mercer Hall. Just look there. Look I gotta go, see you tomorrow. ]
Before Samuel could thank her, he hung up the phone. Mercer Hall wasn't far from here so he could just walk. Samuel walked into the closet and searched through the rack. He stopped at a brown jacket and yanked it off the hanger. He slipped into it as he walked out the closet and opened the front door. He shivered as he realized just how cold it was going to be outside. Well, it's too late to back out now.
***
As Lee made the tread towards Mercer Hall, he thought about whether or not he should turn back and apologize. He didn't mean to come off as aggressive as he did. He also didn't want Samuel to hate him, who is Lee kidding he probably already does. The sad part is that he has every right to. All of Samuel's niceties were probably just him being polite and he probably hated Lee's guts in reality. Samuel was the best part of Lee's life and Lee was definitely the worst part of Samuel’s. Isn't that funny? Lee looked up at the door he was facing. The sign read, “Mercer Hall". He waltzed into the building before heading straight for the stairs. By the time he reached the bottom step, he was crying. Fuck, he was pathetic. He quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeves before slumping down. He already had three cigarettes on the walk there so he pulled out another one and lit it. His hands were numb from the cold so the heat from the lighter felt nice. He breathed it in and leaned back on the step. He let his mind wander for a bit. He went from his little argument with Laurens to Maria to Samuel, again. That handsome bastard with his stupid little British accent. He probably didn't even care where Lee was going. He probably just wanted to seem like a good friend. To give him the satisfaction of knowing he tried. Lee wasn't going to give him that. Samuel was probably back in his bed, dreaming about Jesus or whatever the fuck that guy thinks about. “You sly bastard.” Lee murmured through his teeth before taking a drag from his cigarette.
“Maria said I might find you here."
Speak of the devil. Lee quickly rose up and turned to see Samuel at the top of the stairs, still in his pajamas. “What are you doing here?"
Samuel sighed as he walked down the stairs. With him brought this air of disappointment that Lee could feel in his bones. He felt like he had just been caught breaking something by his mom. His hands became sweatier as Samuel sat down next to where Lee was sitting. “I was worried about you." Samuel answered.
Lee scoffed before slumping onto the step. “Yeah, right.” Lee looked directly at Samuel for the next part
"You probably just wanted to feel like a good person. You know, you're the guy who's looking out for his crazy roommate.” He looked back at the floor, taking another drag from his cigarette.
His tone hushed, “I don't think you're crazy, Lee.”
“Sure you do. I walk into our room in the middle of the night, light a cigarette, and yell at you. You have a right to think so."
Samuel opened his mouth to refute, but nothing came up. The silence let Lee's mind run wild, which never ends up well. Samuel's silence spoke for him. He agreed, he had to. Jesus, he was a mess. At some point, his mind wandered to tread to Mercer. Wait a minute, “Samuel, do you know how long the walk is here?"
Samuel swung his head around to look at Lee. He looked relieved at the broken tension. "No, why?”
"Samuel,” He scooted closer. "It's a twenty minute walk from our dorm to Mercer Hall.”
"Huh. I suppose it kinda felt that long.”
Lee stared at Samuel for a long time. He walked twenty minutes in the freezing cold just to have to deal with Lee. Twenty minutes. In the freezing cold. That was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him. How sad is that? Lee could feel his eyes welling up but he blinked the tears away before they fell. “I don't deserve you. No one should have to deal with me, especially not you." He turned his face towards the wall to have an excuse to not face Samuel.
“Well, you don't get the people you deserve. You get the people you need."
That was what set Lee off. He pulled Samuel’s chest into his face, wrapping his arms around the boy. Samuel, instinctively, wrapped his arms around Lee, and leaned against the opposite wall. Lee's tears began to stain Samuel's sleep shirt. Lee's words slurred due to the muffling of the shirt and the mucus in his throat. Although you could make out some self-defeating statements. Soon, Lee sat up and put his head on Samuel's shoulder, his grip on the boy still strong. “I'm sorry I'm so cruel and mean and selfish." Lee blubbered.
"You're not cruel or mean or selfish, Charlie."
Lee dismissed his refute, opting to continue his whining. "You're so nice and kind and you should go back to the dorm. You'll never have to see me again. I'll move out!”
Samuel grabbed Lee face, forcing him to face the boy. “Stop it, Charlie."
Lee grazed his hand on the other boy's hand before pulling him into a slow, but unhesitant kiss. The kiss didn't feel spectacular or amazing but it just felt… right. It didn't take long for Samuel to reciprocate but, when he did, Lee immediately pulled Samuel closer, deepening the kiss. Samuel's lips felt soft against Lee's cracked lips and he loved it. If Samuel didn't pull away, Lee probably would've made the kiss last forever. The moment the other boy pulled away, Lee spat out, “I think I'm in love with you and I don't know what to do about it."
Samuel simply nodded before standing up, dragging Lee up with him. “We'll talk about that later." He dusted off Lee's jacket and pants. Lee grabbed for Samuel’s hand which revealed the sweatiness of his hands. They started walking up the stairs, heading for their dorm.
***
Just as Samuel turned away from the door, Lee pulled him into another kiss. This one being hungrier, more desperate. He's been holding that in for a while. This kiss was short-lived, Samuel pushing Lee off quicker. Lee whined, “You're so mean to me."
Samuel chuckled, “Jesus, you really are desperate." He slid off his jacket and let it fall to the floor.
Lee playfully rolled his eyes, “You're the one making me wait this long." He walked over to the left, past the foot of the frame, kicked off his shoes, and sat on his bed. He motioned for Samuel to sit next to him. Once Samuel did, Lee turned to lean on the headboard. Lee leaned forward and grabbed the front of the other boy's shirt, forcing him onto his hands and knees and on top of Lee. “Please?" He pleaded, dragging out the ‘e’ in please.
Samuel flushed at the whining, “I-I just, not, not now."
"Aww, okay,” He paused. “Can you sleep in my bed though?” He sensed Samuel's reluctance so he continued. "Please! I'll never ask again!”
Samuel thought for a bit before deciding on an answer. "Okay.” Lee smiled and Samuel was quick to reciprocate. Lee pushed Samuel to the side and began to strip down to his underwear and slip into bed. He could feel Samuel's eyes on him the entire time but he didn't mind. He turned back to see Samuel even redder than before, to the point where he was glowing.
Lee slid his hand across Samuel’s waist before pulling the blanket over the both of them. Lee wrapped his other arm around Samuel’s waist and held onto Samuel as if he was going to disappear any second. Samuel snuggles his face into Lee's neck. As they fell into their positions, they began to catch up on some much needed sleep.