Work Text:
When you love someone, you deny the truth. That's what Bryan Adams said. Or something. I loved you my whole life but I kept denying the truth. I don't know why, I think I just thought it would be simpler that way. But denying my love for you and everything about you was slowly killing me. I don't ever want to do it again, you know? I want the whole world to know how I feel about you. I kind of think they already know.
I think I just miss you so badly. It's been two fucking weeks since I last saw your face. I miss your eyes and that beautiful smile that gives me goosebumps. I miss falling asleep in your strong and protective arms. I miss waking up slightly aroused at your gentle touch. I miss watching your face while you're thinking. I miss holding your hand and kissing you hello. I miss every fucking thing about you and I promise, when you get back home, I'll never let you go.
I hate that this is our thing. Leaving the other for such a long time. When people love each other, they should always be together, right? They should do 'the big gestures', do everything for the other person. That's why I've made a decision. I'm committed to you, David and I love you. It's time for me to make the big gesture.
I'm moving to New York.
Because it's the only right thing to do. You'll be here in two hours and twenty eight minutes and I miss the hell out of you. And then I'll have to leave you and we would keep leaving each other forever. I don't want that.
I've always said that London is my home. Well, not anymore. My home is where the heart is. You took my heart over twenty years ago and damn you, you still have it. Even right now, you have my heart on your tour. And I'm here. Alone. Heartless.
This feels like home to me. Everything seems different, good different. The coffee is tastier, sun is brighter, people are nicer. I love being at your place because it smells good. It smells like you and you smell like home.
I noticed you left the lavender candles in your/our bedroom so it could kind of smell more like London. Well, I replaced them with your cologne. I don't want this place to smell like London. I want your smell. The smell of the person you love.
Don't ever think I would replace your scent with lavender. Or sage. Or rosemary. Nothing can replace your scent.
Come back to me quickly, please. I want to start our life together again.
Two hours and seventeen minutes.
I love you,
Gillian.