Work Text:
Theon thought Robb was being unfair. It had been just a harmless joke, not one of the worst he had done, mind you, and it was funny. He was overreacting for God’s sake and he told him so.
“I am not overreacting! And I mean it, Theon, get the fuck out of my room!”
“Where will I sleep? Come on, Robb, you don’t need to be like this.”
Robb stared at him long and hard, blue eyes looking colder by the second. “Get the fuck out or I’ll kill you, Theon. I mean it.”
“It was just a fart!” Theon insisted but started picking up his stuff. “A harmless joke! I can’t believe you are kicki—OW!” A shoe had collided with his face and by the time Theon turned to look at his best friend, bewildered, Robb had already gotten under the covers. “That was uncalled for!”
“Get out or the next thing won’t be a shoe. I’ll throw the goddamn TV at you.”
“You are crazy, man.” Theon said as an ultimatum and left the room, shaking his head in shock. Robb had gotten mad before but never enough to kick him out of the room. The worst part was that they were sharing the room for a reason. It was christmas at Winterfell, the mansion’s every room was occupied and now he had nowhere to sleep.
Unless…
He turned to look at the room at the end of the hallway. It was Jon’s room, the one he always used when he was in Winterfell. Maybe he would let him sleep on the floor at least. That was a better option than the kennels.
He lost nothing by just asking so he walked towards the room and, Theon being Theon, didn’t even knock on the door and just opened it, the words already leaving his lips.
“Snow, can I sleep—” The words died on his throat as he noticed how fast Jon moved, took something off of him and covered it next to him with the pillow that had been seconds ago resting behind his head. “The fuck were you doing?”
Jon was looking at him with impossible wide eyes and tense shoulders. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and Theon made a note to never enter his room unannounced again. Maybe he wasn’t wearing pants either and Theon had no intention on seeing him on the nude. Jon’s eyes started drifting everywhere, as if looking for an answer. “I was—I was just—What are you doing here, Theon?”
There were a lot of weird things in the scene that Theon had in front of him. First, Jon was acting weird. Like, really weird. Second, there were clothes lying carelessly on the floor and everybody knew Jon was a neat freak (well, maybe not enough to be a neat freak but he was organized and his room was always clean) and, was that Arya’s shirt? Nah, it was probably Jon’s and Arya had stolen it at some point and now it was back where it had come from. Third, the fuck was under the pillow? Because there was obviously something under it.
Theon thought about pushing his question (because, really, was Jon that pale or was he freaking out about something?) but then he remembered that Snow was his last option or he would have to sleep in the cold, cold living room and freeze to death.
“I need a place to sleep, Robb kicked me out.” He explained quickly and Jon blinked slowly.
“Why did Robb kick you out?”
“I just made a harmless—”
“You sure whatever you did was harmless?”
“Joke. I was making a harmless joke. Now, can I sleep here or not?”
And that was when things got even more weird because Jon said nothing and just stared, like really stared at him. The silence stretched in the room and Theon changed his weight from foot to foot, getting uncomfortable under Jon’s eyes.
Maybe I should sleep in the living room anyway… or the kennels. The dogs are warm, right?
He was looking at him so strangely, he was starting to get worried, but there was a calculating glint in his eyes that told Theon he was making a decision, so he waited in silence. Until he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Can I sleep here or not? You are making me nervous, Snow. Give me an answer.”
“No, you can’t sleep here.”
Theon snorted. “I knew, I knew you wouldn’t let—”
“But I have an alternative.” That shut him up immediately. He really didn’t want to sleep with those dogs. They were like wolves. Fierce, crazy wolves. And the living room was so mercilessly cold. “But you have to promise me something first.”
Theon narrowed his eyes. “Where are you going with this?”
“It’s either the promise or the kennels, Greyjoy. Your call.”
He had a point. Theon just stared at him for a few seconds, trying to make him uncomfortable, but Jon stood his ground without even breaking a sweat. “Fine.” He practically barked. “But tell me the alternative first and I’ll make whatever promise you want me to make.”
And that was when shit got crazy because Theon never, never, expected what happened next to happen.
Whatever was under the pillow moved, getting the pillow out of the way and sitting up. A woman, a very obvious and naked woman if the way the sheets were clinging to her upper body was any hint, stared at him, getting her dark, wavy hair out of her face to reveal a pair of grey eyes Theon knew very well whilst her other arm kept the sheet in place.
“Arya?!” he practically screamed and she threw the pillow at him. It hit him in the face and yes, that was Arya Stark because she was the only human being in the world that could make a harmless flying pillow hurt like a punch.
“You idiot, why don’t you go to my father’s room and see if he heard you? Want to scream it louder maybe?” She grit out, her eyes glinting menacingly. He opened his mouth, not to say anything, really, he was too dumbstruck to say a thing. “Shut up.” At her command, he shut his mouth.
Jon was sitting back more relaxed now, letting her take over the situation. If the position Theon almost caught them in when he entered was any hint, Arya was in charge quite often.
“What are you doing—forget it, I know exactly what you are doing here.”
Arya rolled her eyes. “You can have my room since…” she stopped for a second and then smiled wickedly, “since I’m obviously not using it. But you can’t tell a soul about this! Not even to Robb!”
“Especially not to Robb!” Jon said, his eyes getting comically wide. “He’ll kill me.”
Theon snorted. “Like the she-wolf here would let Robb harm her new toy.”
“Shut up, Greyjoy. Do you want the room or not?”
He stayed silent for a second. He could use this. He could really use this to his advantage, manipulate a little maybe, have a little bit of fun. But then his gaze swept to Jon and the MURDER written all over his face had him rethinking the whole situation.
“Alright, I’ll take it and I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
Arya smiled, satisfied, and waited for Theon to leave the room. But he kept staring at them.
“What?” she asked, her eyes getting colder and Theon shook his head before leaving the room to never, never, get in without knocking first.
Jon and Arya, he snorted. I should’ve known .