Work Text:
2014
“How surprised would you be if I came to you and I showed you a song I wrote about you?” Tyler asks teasingly, leaning forwards to gauge Josh’s reaction.
Josh immediately laughs like it’s the most ridiculous idea in the world, drawing a nervous laugh from Tyler himself.
“I’d be really surprised.” He grins, leaning back to look at Tyler, before then looking at his feet instead.
“Can you imagine what that would even sound like?” He asks, curiosity taking over.
“It’d be the most beautiful song ever.” Josh grins before chuckling, clearly thinking this is just another one of their jokes to play into.
He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it before. Writing songs about Josh. Writing songs for Josh.
He’d written songs for practically everyone else in his life; his mom, his dad, his girlfriend, his siblings…it wasn’t exactly unheard for him to write about his loved ones.
But Josh was…different. He shared everything with Josh. Every single song that they’d ever recorded, started out as an idea that he had explained to the drummer first.
He doesn’t know why but somehow, writing a song about him seemed increasingly more vulnerable than writing about anyone else.
He watches as Josh automatically assumes that he was entirely joking, feeling his face heat a little with embarrassment and maybe even slight dejection.
It’s the confirmation that yes , it probably would be terribly awkward to write a song about your bandmate, not knowing how they would react to such vulnerability.
Josh is looking at him now, waiting for a response.
Tyler clears his throat before breaking out into a smirk.
“I think it would be no lyrics and all drums.” He jokes, before the interviewer in front of them moves them along to the next question.
2025
It’s almost 1am on an early morning in mid March and Tyler is sprawled out on the sofa that lies in the corner of his home studio.
They had not long finished a leg of tour in South America and unbeknown to the fans, they had almost finished another surprise record to finally end the decade long story they had been telling.
Well by almost, he means they have a handful of finished songs and a lot of ideas that needed…polishing.
He chews on his pen lid as he stares at his notebook that listed a potential tracklist. He had all of the titles that tied into the narrative perfected, after all, he had been thinking about how this story would end for years.
But despite this, he still wants some more personal songs on the record. Songs that would make sense to be on this album that was serving as a “final chapter.”
He looks up from his notebook then at Josh who is perched on the end of the sofa, legs hunched up to his chest as he balances his laptop on his knees.
Tyler likes having him here. Sometimes when they work on music, they do it over the phone or via zoom call. As they found out in quarantine, some parts of the music making process was actually easier online than in person…but deep down, Tyler always preferred being in the same room as Josh.
Mostly because they got distracted and the majority of the time would end up door-dashing a Chipotle in the middle of the night and playing Mario Kart like they were still 23.
He prods Josh’s thigh then with his socked foot, watching as Josh looks up from his screen with a tired smile.
“How would you feel about singing on the record?” Tyler asks suddenly, before his brain could even keep up with his mouth.
It had been something that had been circling his mind for months.
Three years ago, he had coaxed Josh into singing with him for their MTV unplugged performance. Josh had been reluctant at first, but with reassurance, he eventually agreed for just the one off show.
Just under a year ago, he had persuaded Josh to sing onstage each night on The Clancy Tour, just for a few songs. This time, it took a lot more convincing, but eventually Josh had caved.
The reaction of the fans definitely made Tyler’s pestering towards him pay off.
But Tyler’s ultimate goal was to have Josh sing on an album. How proud he would be…and how proud Josh would hopefully be of himself.
He loved Josh’s voice…the deep yet soft tone to it. The way it balanced out his own…he wished Josh knew how good he was.
Josh blinks in surprise like that was the last thing he was expecting to be asked…and it probably was.
“What?” He just asks, rubbing his eyes like he’s checking he’s not actually fallen asleep.
Tyler feels shy all of a sudden.
“I don’t know. I thought it would be a cool thing to do since it’s sort of a closing album.” Tyler says unsurely, fidgeting with the lid on his pen.
Josh chews on his lip, equally as unsure before sighing.
“I don’t know, Tyler. If I sung on an album then it’s out there forever. ”
Tyler gets it. It’s a big commitment.
“And…I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be a bit weird on an album for me to sing something you wrote? I wouldn’t want it to take anything away from your own personal experiences, you know…” Josh trails off.
Tyler sighs then, sitting up and budging up closer to Josh.
“You do know this is a two person band right? Every song doesn’t have to be about what I’ve been through?” He asks.
Josh smiles at him then before looking down into his lap.
“I know…thanks Tyler, I just…I don’t know if it would feel right. I mean I’m not ruling it out completely but I think it would take a very specific song to make it feel like my vocals would belong.” Josh says softly, an insecure lilt to his voice.
Tyler sighs, standing up and brushing down his plaid pyjama bottoms.
“Okay, I understand. Anyways, need another redbull restock?” He asks.
Josh grins then, before saluting him.
“You can read me so well.” He chuckles before breaking out into a yawn.
Tyler rolls his eyes amusedly before sobering up the second he turns away from Josh and walks towards the staircase up to the kitchen.
He had a plan forming in his head and he intended to see it out.
2011
“Well, thank you guys for coming. Are we on for another practice at yours before the gig on Saturday?” Nick asks as he zips his guitar case up.
“Yeah, sure dude, sounds great. Josh, do you think you can do tomorrow at mine?” Tyler asks, nudging Josh with his elbow.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Josh grins and Tyler smiles back.
Things have gotten a lot better for twenty one pilots in the last few weeks now that Josh is an official member of the band. Chris was a good drummer and a nice guy but Josh was truly something special. Not that Tyler could say that out loud to anyone. He’d been desperate to play with him and finally, they are doing their first show this weekend as an official band of three.
“Okay, awesome. Well I guess I will be seeing you both tomorrow evening.” Nick says with a yawn, as he pushes his glasses that had begun to slip back up the bridge of his nose.
“Yeah, see you later.” Tyler says, yawning back as if it were contagious. He opens the front door letting himself and Josh out to the spring night sky, the two of them waving goodbye before being left to themselves.
“Hey Josh, is it okay if I get a ride home? Too cold to walk at this time of night.” Tyler pouts slightly as he dramatically shudders.
“You had no intentions of walking back anyway.” Josh chimes back, teasing smile on his face as he wordlessly clicks his car keys, opening the passenger door up for Tyler.
Tyler grins as he slides into the front seat, settling down into the warmth familiarity of Josh’s car, a place he had spent a lot of time inside in the last few months.
Josh gets into the drivers seat, wordlessly starting the engine before pulling off Nick’s drive and nudging Tyler.
“Your turn to pick a CD.” Josh prompts and Tyler makes somewhat of an excited yelp in response.
He doesn’t know where it started but every time they’re in Josh’s car, they take it in turns to choose a CD to listen to together.
“…Just not Sam’s Town because you’ve played that twice in the last three times of your choosing.” Josh adds, teasing grin on his face.
Tyler frowns as he places The Killers CD he was holding back.
“…That’s not what I was picking.” He mumbles back defensively as Josh chuckles amusedly in his peripheral.
Instead, he picks “Forget and Not Slow Down” by Relient K. It’s a band that Josh introduced him too fairly recently and an album that he definitely would like to listen to more.
He shows the CD to Josh who averts his eyes from the road to look at it, responding with a very enthusiastic nod.
Tyler pops the CD into the player, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes as the first track starts.
It’s the title track, probably the one he’s most familiar with and he begins to hum a long as the verse starts.
He can hear Josh tapping along to the drums too as the music begins to build towards the chorus, drawing a smile from him.
It’s a safe routine they have. Driving around late and wordlessly getting lost in the music.
He opens his eyes at a particularly drum heavy part, squinting as he watches Josh nodding his head as he drums quickly on the wheel. He’s tapping extra hard today which is usually an indicator of Josh feeling a little more anxious than usual.
“You can take the boy away from the drums but you can never take the drumming away from the boy.” He jokes softly.
Josh gives a half hearted smile as the track comes to an end, his hands stilling on the wheel as he looks out to the road again. Tyler sits up at the change of demeanour.
He had noticed that Josh had been a little quieter today. To the untrained eye, they probably would’ve missed it behind Josh’s teasing remarks and big grins but Tyler could always tell when he was masking some kind of problem.
Josh speaks then, voice coming quietly.
“Uh, I know it’s kind of late but do you mind if we go get food or something. Or just drive around?” He asks.
Tyler glances at the glowing clock on the radio, displaying 1.20am.
He wants a distraction.
Tyler assumes it’s for the same reason he also craves distraction. They spend a lot of time together doing nothing yet it’s always his favourite part of the week.
Just being around Josh lessens the war that wages in his mind as soon as he’s alone, behind closed doors.
“You know that I’m never going to say no to food, dude.” Tyler smiles.
Josh chuckles then before turning off the road, away from the direction of Tyler’s house.
“Taco Bell?”
“You read my mind.”
*
About half an hour later, they walk out the completed deserted Taco Bell, bags of food in hand.
On particularly cold nights, they often go sit in Josh’s warm car but other times opting to sit on the roof of the car, looking up at the night sky.
They’re starting to walk back to Josh’s vehicle as Tyler stops in his tracks, idea springing to mind.
“What if we go up there tonight?” He proposes, eyes sparkling with slight mischief as he points up.
“Huh?” Josh asks, spinning around before his gaze goes towards where Tyler was gesturing too.
He was pointing to the actual roof of the Taco Bell building, a small, unstable looking step ladder going up towards the top.
“Wouldn’t that be trespassing, Tyler.” Josh says, eyebrow quirking up in reluctance.
“Only trespassing if there was someone even here to witness it. Come on.” Tyler says before jogging over to the tiny ladder.
“Tyler…” Josh whines slightly, looking over his shoulder before following him over.
It’s a slight struggle to get up the ladder that begins to wobble as soon as they begin to climb, resulting in both of them having to chuck their bags of food up to the top ledge before pulling themselves up.
Tyler hoists himself up before turning to pull Josh up, both of them flush faced and giggling.
“You’re a bad influence.” Josh says, shaking his head.
“Hey, I don’t think it’s hardly all that rebellious to be on a pretty much desolate Taco Bell roof in the middle of the night.” He says as he sits down cross legged, Josh coming to sit beside him.
He watches as Josh looks around, eyes widening a little.
“Worth it for this view I guess. Much better than the roof of my car.” He says softly, prompting Tyler to look around.
They actually have a decent view of Columbus from here, seeing the lights of buildings all around and the stray car moving past on a road in the distance.
Tyler agrees softly as he pulls out a taco from his bag, biting into it before laying flat on his back, eyes towards the sky.
It was a particularly starry night tonight, a full moon shining brightly above them.
“Yeah, this is nice.” He breathes out in response, Josh mirroring him and laying down next to him.
They fall into easy conversation for a long while, talking about nothing and everything at once. It was usual for their conversations to drastically flick from silly to serious, especially at night. They bounce between stupid hypothetical scenarios to dream venues to perform at one day to deepest fears like it’s the most normal thing on earth.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Tyler turns on his side to look at Josh.
“I feel like we do this a lot.” Tyler voices out loud, softly.
“What?” Josh asks, tone equally as soft as he mirrors Tyler once again, turning to face him.
Tyler momentarily smiles to himself as under the moonlight, he can see the hole under Josh’s lip from where he once had a piercing. He looks back up to Josh’s eyes searching his own curiously.
“Find any excuse to stay up late and not go back home.” Tyler states quietly.
Josh’s eyes fall then, his eyelashes dusting his cheeks.
“Yeah.” He just says, equally as quiet.
“Why?” Tyler just asks…and he knows he can ask because they’re at the point of the night where both of them stop avoiding and allow themselves to be truly honest.
Josh sighs as he thinks for a second, turning onto his back and looking up at the stars.
“I don’t like who I am at home. I feel like as soon as I step into those doors, there’s a crushing pressure to be someone I am not.” He says, actively avoiding Tyler’s eyes.
Tyler hums in agreement, not wanting to interrupt.
“I love my parents, I do, but I feel like they have a problem with everything…the way I dress, the volume of my drums, even the music I listen to. You know if they found the CDS that are in my car now when I was a teen, they would’ve grounded me for weeks.” Josh sighs in exasperation.
Tyler blinks in disbelief, a little stunned.
“Relient K and The Killers would’ve got you grounded as a teen?” He asks.
“Probably. They think anything rock or pop punk is inappropriate and corrupting me in some way.” Josh groans, humour completely absent from his voice.
Tyler can relate somewhat to the feeling of having to pretend around his parents, but at least they were supportive about his music. There had only been the odd instance where he’d been told to quieten down after screaming his head off in the basement whilst recording.
“That sucks…sorry.” Tyler says, genuinely sympathetically.
“I mean, it’s fine, they can’t police what I do as much now that I am an adult. Obviously I’m grateful that they let me stay with them but I really hope I can save enough money soon to move out.” He replies back, hand combing anxiously through his curls.
Tyler nods. Himself, Josh and Mark had already talked about finding a house to rent where they could all live together. They had asked Nick but he hadn’t seemed too keen on the idea. He did have his own place already, a place he shared with his girlfriend. Tyler doesn’t think it will be long until hopefully they can make that work.
“It’s just a lot you know. Coming home and feeling like you can’t be who you are. And music is a large part of what makes me who I am. I guess that’s why I like to drive around so much. It gives me that time and freedom to just… exist. Get lost in the music without the weight of anybody else’s opinion on my shoulders.” He continues, hands twisting more harshly into his hair.
Tyler frowns, absentmindedly reaching up and unravelling Josh’s fingers from his curls, pulling his hand back to his side.
“I understand. It sucks to constantly feel like you have to wear a different mask around each person in your life. I mean…my favourite part of the week is when we’re just hanging out and doing nothing at all except getting lost in music. No expectations….just two people existing.” Tyler replies back, voice quietening again.
“Mine too.” Josh hums back, turning to face him again.
“I like that I don’t have to pretend with you, Josh. And…I think I like who I am around you, too. Which is strange because I always assumed the real me was incredibly difficult to be around.” Tyler admits then, feeling raw emotion begin to bubble over.
Josh’s knee knocks against his own then; he hasn’t realised how close they had gotten.
“I like who I am around you too, Tyler. You make things feel lighter…easier. I doubt a lot of things, but not with you.” Josh admits back, voice shaking slightly.
Tyler smiles gently, feeling a warmth spread in his chest, despite the cold wind. Tyler doesn’t know if it’s because of the cold in question that the top of Josh’s ears have turned pink.
He blinks then, moving to say something else before he feels his foot kick his bag of food.
“Josh?” He starts.
“Yeah?” The latter responds, voice soft.
“I think our tacos have gone cold.” He replies back, grin breaking out as he looks back towards the food. They move apart, sitting up before they both burst into simultaneous laughter.
2025
Tyler paces around his studio as he waits for Josh to arrive, tapping his note book in anticipation. He hasn’t been this anxious about showing someone a song…maybe ever.
But that’s the problem. This wasn’t just someone. This was Josh - probably the opinion he valued more than anyone else’s in the world. And he was about to show him a song that he had written about him.
It had been a few weeks since their discussion on the sofa and Tyler had walked away determined to write a song that Josh would consider singing on. He decided the only way of doing that was writing a song about Josh.
When trying to write, his mind constantly kept wandering back to that 22 year old Josh. The undyed hair, the soft innocence, the angsty, existential dread that they both shared back then.
It had only taken a few days to scrawl down some ideas and now he had some draft lyrics. It was by known means finished, but he knew he had to show Josh before he got any further with it.
Just then, the door to his basement studio opens with Josh strolling in, greeting smile on his face.
“Hey Tyler. Hope you don’t mind that Jenna let me in. She said you’ve been busy working on music.” He grins, face brightening at the prospect of new music ideas.
“Uh yeah…yeah. I’ve been working on…stuff.” Tyler stutters out. His hands are clammy and he already feels his heart beating unusually fast.
Josh sits down in his desk chair, spinning around before looking at Tyler curiously.
“Want to share?” He asks.
Tyler goes to speak but nothing comes out. His mouth has gone incredibly dry.
“Uh…yeah…sure. But let me get us some drinks first! Redbull? Coffee? Water?” He asks, starting to anxiously ramble.
Josh is eyeing him now, clearly catching on to his nerves.
“A coffee would be great. Thanks.” He says slowly, like he’s trying to be careful.
Tyler nods eagerly before turning on his heel and practically bolting up the stairs.
He’s shown Josh a hundred different songs before. This is no different. It will be fine.
Whilst he waits for the water to boil, he places his head on the cool of the kitchen counter, hoping it clears his head.
“You haven’t shown him yet?” Jenna’s voice comes from behind him, gentle but amused.
“No. I am scared.” Tyler admits, placing his head back on the counter.
Jenna chuckles slightly before ruffling Tyler’s hair encouragingly.
“You’ll be fine, Ty. It’s sweet. He loves you and he will love the song.” She says and there’s not a waver of doubt in her voice.
Tyler lifts his head to look at her, before taking a deep breath and nodding.
“Yeah. I can do this.” He affirms to himself as he pours the coffee (1 sugar and no milk - he’s had Josh’s preference mesmerised for almost fifteen years now).
Wordlessly, Jenna places a redbull into his own hand which he thanks her for, before turning back towards the studio with the two drinks in his hands.
He manages to nudge the door open with his shoulder, before greeting Josh again, offering the cup of coffee to him.
Josh smiles, turning his phone off and placing it on Tyler’s desk, turning his full attention to him. He reaches for the coffee, taking a sip before pulling a face of surprise.
“Did you get a new coffee maker?” He asks.
Tyler blinks in equal surprise, before chuckling, feeling some of his nerves melt away.
“Yeah, I did actually. How could you tell?” He asks, genuinely shocked.
“What can I say. I’m a connoisseur in Tyler Joseph’s coffee making skills. It’s good though. I definitely approve.” He laughs, taking another sip.
Tyler smiles. It was just Josh.
“Anyways. New song idea. Shoot.” Josh says eagerly. He’s always excited to hear a new idea.
Tyler takes a deep breath before fishing out his notebook.
“Um…it’s not finished. But I thought it was important that you saw it before I decided whether to finish it.” He starts apprehensively.
Josh head cocks to the side in curiosity, eyes widening ever so.
“Yeah? You got a name for it?” He asks.
Tyler pauses for a second, fidgeting with the sleeve of his shirt.
“It’s called Drum Show.” He states, eyes casting down to the ground.
“Like I said…it’s not done! I still haven’t figured out what would be the verse and what would be the choruses but I have some stuff written down and I thought…I thought maybe you could have a look.” Tyler rushes out, not allowing time for Josh to respond.
He finally looks up and sees Josh looking softly back as he nods eagerly.
“Yeah, of course.”
Tyler’s hand shakes as he passes the notebook to the drummer. Josh notices the movement, and looks at Tyler with slight worry before looking at the yellow pages in front of him.
The notebook read:
COMPLETED THE CHECKLIST FOR TODAY.
NOW THEY HAVE TO LET YOU OUT OF YOUR CAGE.
FEELING STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HOME.
TWO PLACES YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO.
SO HE’S PUTTING ON A DRUM SHOW.
EVEN NOW, HE TAKES THE LONGER WAY HOME.
EVEN NOW, HE’LL NEVER EVER SAY SO.
HE DRIVES FAST JUST TO FEEL IT.
HE DRIVES SLOW IF HIS SONGS NOT OVER.
DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT.
HE’D RATHER FEEL SOMETHING THAN NOTHING AT ALL.
SO HE SWERVES ALL AROUND AS HIS HEAD STARTS TO FALL.
Tyler fidgets constantly as Josh reads, trying not to stare too hard and decipher Josh’s expression.
As he watches Josh’s gaze reach towards the end of the page, he feels his nervous rambling start again.
“I know it’s not great yet, I still have to figure out verses and choruses and how it would sound but-.”
“Tyler.” Josh starts quietly, cutting him off.
Tyler looks up then, watching as Josh places the notebook down and stares at him. His heart skips as he sees Josh’s eyes have glazed over.
“This is amazing.” He whispers.
Before Tyler can respond, Josh has leapt out of the chair and pulled him into a hug, causing Tyler to stumble back slightly.
“Thank you so much for writing this.” Josh says into his neck, and Tyler feels his breath hitch against him.
Tyler feels his own eyes begin to tear up as he hugs Josh back tightly.
“Of course.” He gets back, feeling his voice shake slightly.
Josh stays there for a little while, before he eventually pulls back, wiping his face with the back of his hands.
“Seriously, that’s so…me. I don’t know how you do it.” Josh says in awe, picking up the notebook again, to study the words.
“I was just thinking back you know. To the van days kinda…I really want you to sing so I thought that maybe writing a song that you could connect with more would allow that…?” He proposes shyly, hands sinking into his pockets.
Josh blinks in soft disbelief, his face pooling with emotion.
“Really?” He asks.
Tyler nods.
“Yeah. I mean obviously I want you to change what you’re not happy with but I thought it would be cool to have a few lyrics in from your perspective. I thought also having a more pop punk / rock sound would be cool, sort of like the bands you’d always listen to? And maybe…just maybe you would sing? I think it would be awesome.” Tyler says, smile breaking out.
“I uh…wow, Tyler. I really wasn’t expecting this.” He laughs before narrowing his eyes. “Did you really go to the effort of writing me an entire song because you wanted me to sing?”
Tyler’s face flushes as he folds his arms across his chest in embarrassment.
“No. I mean I’ve kinda always wanted to write a song anyways. Just was never the right time.” He mumbles honestly, suddenly finding interest in a piece of lint of the floor that he tries to kick away.
Josh chuckles then. Tyler expects him to tease him but he doesn’t.
“I love it. You know what, sure. Let’s give it a go, we’ll come up with something together and I’ll try some vocals.” Josh replies with an excited grin.
“Really?” Tyler responds with equal excitement.
“Really.” Josh affirms with rosy cheeks before patting the seat at the desk next to him. “Now come sit, we have work to do.”