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"You don't understand Radford."
Kevin looks at the other man, a face with only exhaustion but eyes with vunerable love that is slowly being taken apart by his job, they had this conversation but it was at a disadvantage to go any deeper
"Every single day, I get up and every single day something fucking TERRIFYING happens I- I just.."
Kevin brings his hands up, staring at them as they subtly shook: he felt tears spike in his eyes like knives.
"Why me, WHY this job, what did I do wrong, wh- HOW is this possible, I've seen worser things than a cannibalistic pshycopath following CHILDREN! A DOLL TRIED TO KILL ME."
His tone slowly became angrier, open hands now scrunched up: his eyes turned into just another expression of his exhaustion
"A LITERAL DOLL STABBED ME IN THE LEG, HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?!"
He raises his voice as Radford looks at him in that same way
His eyes are full of remorse and his body yearns to hug Kevin
"AND THEN EVERYDAY I HAVE TO CLEAN EVERYTHING U-.. I'm sorry I'm just- shit.."
As the darker haired man started to rant, he takes a moment to think:
Radford hates loud noises.
"I'm sorry Rad, I'm just so..I don't even know anymore, and it's not like I can just leave, I've got no where else to go."
Kevin puts a hand to his neck, closing his eyes and subconsciously putting fragile walls and going silent
Radford notices this, and there's apart of him that aches for the person he cares about so much to just hide how he feels.
"No! It's fine kevs, you deserve to be able to express your emotions, I believe you dude please- just- don't stop, let it all out."
The man with glasses cupped the face of the other who had freckles
"DON'T stop."
His eyes, even with the red and blue tints filled with a passion that one cannot explain: it feels like a fear inside of radfords body, the fear of somebody like Kevin, the fear of Kevin being hurt and leaving it inside to fester, he could never allow somebody he loves so much to suffer like that, not like how he does: to see others do the same thing he does is a torment.
"But you-"
"Kevin, I can't bare to see you be hurt like this: you've been through so much and barely anyone even cares or notices, you don't deserve to feel this way."
Which was a strange way to say
'I DONT CARE! I love you Kevin, please, let me help you.'
"Kevin, please i-"
Radford feels his throat start to tighten, his head feels hotter and fuzzing as his eyes feel like a waiting tsunami
"Kevin, dude, I love you so much: please don't stop, i don't want you to suffer in silence."
The grasp he had on the other man's face became more tigher, even with the uncomfortable feeling of eye contact he continued to do so, Radford has a hard time crying so the fact that Kevin of all people could make him feel this way should say things for decades.
"Radford....I-"
Kevin's breath became more rapid, feeling his body heat up as a part of himself felt an unusual feeling of affection, as much as Radford showed him that love: it was so rare for him to be respected.
Kevin slowly became lost in Radford's eyes as they were both hypnotised by the long passionate silence, any platonic or romantic choice now would ruin it all, as they sat there gazing at eachothers eyes Kevin felt his body slowly sink into this hole, a deep dark abyss in which he cannot escape by himself but his hand
He feels Radfords hand hold his, he can feel the other man using every part of his strength to pull him up, his heart wants love but his eyes are blinded by the abyss, pouring ink into them so he can only see a fuzzy memory until he is pulled out of that dark hole.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry- dude, man, I- I don't want to see you hurt, you mean so much to me Kevin, I love you."
Radford heart feels too much compassion, considering the fact all Kevin did was build fragile walls it was obvious he recognises the patterns he has experienced, he was always more emotional.
Kevin looked at Radford once more, he cannot control himself: his eyes start to sting, his face starts to scrunch up and he develops a deepening feeling to be held
As he puts his face onto radfords neck for warmth, the other man wraps his arms around the other as he sobbed
Tears flowing like an ocean, eyes red like a rose as his face wrinkled like paper, his voice cracking and representing a more youthful, vunerable appearance as he grabbed onto Radford for dear life
Both arms cradled him now, he felt the saddened fear as he pushes himself onto Radford more.
God he felt stupid but, he felt loved
His imaginary idiocy was a part of a sacrifice to accept the other man's love
No words were spoken, all Radford did was put a gentle hand onto Kevin's hair, moving his fingers through it as the other sobbed
All the tears from the fear, the anger: the stress were represented in every shudder, in every heap of breath, in every tear, in every sniffle, in every shaking moment of the black haired man, face relentlessly like damp, wrinkled paper.
For once in Kevin's life he felt safe again.
For a moment He became silent, taking slow breathes: though both of them know it wasnt the finalé of Kevin's tears and just a mere break.
"I'm so tired..."
"I know kevs..I know.."
Radford hugged Kevin a little tighter as the other man scrunched up his face, closing his eyes as tears forced themselves out: breath shuddering for moments fter moments
His mouth opens as he sobs into radfords shoulder, holding onto his arms like a terrified kitten
Cats are often seen as heartless or stupid animals.
But to some people, they were more than an animal.
"I- I'm so tired..I'm so- i- I'm so- i-... fucking..."
Kevin attempts to talk to please radford, hence to the fact that Radford wanted him to talk, but, all that he could do is cry.
He felt a tang of fear sprung up, triggering more tears as radford pulls Kevin up and puts his own face onto Kevin's shoulder
Sniffling.
Radford was crying too.
Kevin and radford both stay in this predicament until the freckled man makes a laugh: a beautiful laugh
He departs from the other man's shoulder and cups the glasses wearing man's face just like he did
Kissing his forehead with his soft lips, a sign of gratitude in a way that feels more than that: in a way it is.
As Kevin layed his head onto Radfords chest, his arms wrapped around the others waist
For just a moment he's at peace
For just a moment He doesn't have to do so many things at once
For just a moment He doesn't have his life as risk
For just a moment he's safe.
He's loved.
"In a minute, do you wanna bake something man?"
Radford questions, petting the other man's hair
"Yeah, but let's stay like this for a second..."
He mumbled under his breath
And they fell asleep, woke up and made chocolate chip cookies together YAYY!!! A HAPPY ENDINV!! HUZZAHHH