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Two Time stared at their own reflection on the surface of their beverage. Their wings twitched and shivered as the strong smell hit their nostrils.
Alcohol was a sin. It was one of the worst forms of indulgence. Yet for some reason, this hellish purgatory was full of it.
Truthfully, they only grabbed a glass because everybody else kept commenting on why they weren’t drinking. Even then, they didn’t drink a single sip.
They had committed enough unforgivable sins as it was. They didn’t need to dirty up their already filthy soul anymore. They were a disgrace in the Spawn’s eyes by this point. The thought almost made them feel sick.
They had lost their boyfriend, their cult, and their god.
They were a wreck.
Two Time jumped when they felt someone sit next to them. It caught them off guard. People didn’t usually willingly approach them here. It was Noob. The two didn’t interact often, but Two Time had saved their life a few times. Noob seemed to jump as well, as though Two Time’s surprise also surprised them. They seemed nervous, as though not sure if they were allowed to sit down. Two Time hesitantly scooted to the side, inviting them closer.
Noob sat beside them. They had a drink of their own, although much taller than Two Time’s. They tapped the side of their glass almost anxiously. It was as if they approached Two Time with the intention of talking, but didn’t expect to get this far. They cleared their throat and took a deep, long sip from their drink.
“Hey,” they began awkwardly. Two Time gave a quiet ‘hm’ of acknowledgement. They weren’t trying to be rude, not by any means. They simply lacked the energy or motivation to engage much conversation.
Noob took a deep breath and continued. “That killer last round, he seemed to be pretty rough on you. Bad history I take it?” They questioned almost shyly. Two Time’s shoulders tensed as memories flooded from the last round. Azure piercing their skin, cutting off their respiration, making them suffer the same way he had…
A shiver ran down their spine all the way to their tail. They simply nodded. Watching as Noob continuously sipped from their drink made them feel almost self conscious about their lack of drinking. They had enough common sense to know that peer pressure was bad, but they were also raised to be nothing but a mindless sheep.
“Been there,” they sighed solemnly. “I’m sorry. I just- you always look so lonely over here. You go here after every match and no one ever checks on you…I just- uhm- it just- feels bad, watching you get left out,” Noob mumbled quietly, tracing their finger around the rim of their now half empty glass. It had only been a few minutes. Two Time wasn’t sure they had ever seen someone drink so quickly. They almost felt sick just watching them.
“It’s quite alright,” Two Time tapped their foot anxiously. They simply couldn’t keep still very long. They were far too anxious. “I’m used to the isolation, believe me. It is deserved, for I have strayed from my faith.” They stared at their reflection. Their eyebags were strikingly dark against their pale skin. Their already thin form had grown almost ill-looking.
Noob frowned a bit gently moving the glass in front of Two Time towards them. They didn’t give them a weird glare or roll their eyes at the mention of their faith like so many others. They looked almost sympathetic. “I know it’s probably against your beliefs or whatever, but I’m not sure being “holy” is a top priority while we’re in a living hell,” they chuckled quietly. “Maybe a drink could cool your nerves? It always helps me get out of my self deprecating mindset.”
Two Time stared at the drink with hesitance. However, they realized Noob might have a point. This was pretty much purgatory. They had ruined their reputation in the eyes of both the spawn and the cult. They had already committed numerous sins already. Perhaps just a little sip couldn’t hurt?
They grabbed the small glass and brought it to their lips. The taste was bitter and strong. They put the glass back down and shuddered. The taste was interesting, but definitely not something they particularly enjoyed. Noob meanwhile, was taking yet another swig from their drink. They had nearly reached the bottom of their glass by this point. Two Time almost found it impressive.
The two sat like that in silence for a while. Two Time would occasionally sip from their drink in order to not appear strange. Noob had gotten every last drop from their own glass. The tense, awkward air had lifted.
“Yknow, I know someone on the killer side too,” Noob began. Their voice was louder now, although for them it was a normal volume. Their usually tense shoulders were beginning to slump and relax. Perhaps the alcohol was settling in. It made sense after all. They had downed their entire glass in mere minutes.
“Their name was Guest 666. Heh, maybe their name was the first red flag,” They laughed, their voice sounding a bit hoarse. They poured themself another glass from the bottle Two Time had left on the table. “We were best friends. We kissed one time. Then I guess we were sorta more than friends, although we never really talked about it.”
Their voice seemed to increase in volume without realizing it. It was as though the more alcohol they consumed, the less shy they became.
Two Time simply nursed their drink and nodded along. Really, it almost reminded them of them and Azure. What had started as a friendship soon blurred into hand holding, secret kisses, hushed whispers, and sneaking into each other’s rooms to cuddle. It was hard to pinpoint when they really started dating. It had been a slow, gradual transition.
Noob took another long swig from their glass. Their movements almost seemed more confident. However, their smile seemed to diminish. “One day, we got into a pretty big fight. They were being- kinda a jerk really. But…” their smile faded a bit as they tapped their glass. “I said a lot of things to them that I didn’t mean. I probably really hurt them. I didn’t even get to apologize since- well- they got banned not soon after.” Their voice dropped in volume a bit.
As Two Time began to reach the bottom of their own glass, they could feel their mind growing slightly cloudy. Their usually perfect posture was growing slack without them even noticing. They could feel their barriers slowly lowering. Before they even got the chance to fully think through their response, words came spilling out of their mouth.
“I— I never really got to apologize to mine either,” they spoke quietly. They wouldn’t usually be so willing to talk about Azure, but the alcohol was starting to settle. “But I loved him dearly.”
Noob nodded, expression growing soft with sympathy and even a bit of grief. “Yeah. I loved Sixer dearly as well,” they took a deep, shaky breath. “But sometimes, we can be idiots, and we can hurt each other without meaning to.”
That struck a little too close to home. Yet Two Time found themself spilling more.
“Their name is Azure. My partner,” they began. Noob immediately seemed attentive, although their vision seemed maybe the tiniest bit unfocused. Two Time felt more of their inhibition slip away the longer they nursed their gross-tasting drink.
“They took care of me. They loved me. They treated me better than anybody ever had,” Two Time traced the rim of their glass. They felt a mix of guilt and nostalgia fill their mind. Dwelling on their happy memories with Azure always brought back bittersweet memories.
“He was my everything. But then, I did something awful,” Two Time murmured. They felt a little bit sick, but they couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or the negative thoughts. Their wings twitched and writhed under the discomfort. They shook their head. They were surprised they had gotten this far.
“Our leader arranged a ritual for us. I would sacrifice them, then they would come back, and we would both get a second life,” they could hear their leader’s words repeated in their head as they recalled the memory. They remembered holding Azure’s hand as they walked up the hill. They remembered Azure picking flowers as Two Time hid their dagger behind their back.
“…He didn’t come back, did he?” Noob finished for them. Two Time didn’t look up, staring at their lap. They took a deep, shaky breath. They downed the last sip of their glass. Their tail thumped against the seat beneath them.
They remembered with vivid memory. The sound of flesh tearing, his warm blood on their hands, their tears falling on the fabric of his cloak. They remembered the way he cupped their cheek and smiled at them, even as the blood dripped from his mouth. His last words haunted them to this very day.
“I love you.”
Somehow, those three words hurt worse than “I hate you” ever could.
Two Time hadn’t noticed that they’d begun silently crying until they saw two tear drops land in their empty glass. They weren’t sure if it was the flashback, or if the alcohol simply made them more emotional, but they weren’t worried about it at that moment.
“It sounds like you really loved him. So, why? Why would you kill someone who clearly meant the world to you?” Noob questioned.
Two Time’s shoulders tensed as they looked up. The two had a bit of a staring contest for a moment. Two Time scanned Noob’s face for any sign of disgust, anger, or judgement, but all they saw was curiosity and sympathy.
“I—“ their breath hitched. The alcohol had definitely made them more emotional. “I’m— I’m not sure I really know anymore.”
They killed him for their faith, for the Spawn. That was the obvious answer.
But they knew that they never wanted to do it in the first place.
From the second the words left the leader’s mouth, the very thought had made them sick. Harming the one person who brightened Two Time’s dull life? They almost couldn’t bear the thought. They had hugged Azure tightly that night, unable to grasp the idea of a life without them. It was terrifying.
But it was required by the Spawn.
As long as they had faith in the Spawn, Azure would be brought back. The ritual would go as planned. But even with that knowledge, it hadn’t been any easier to dig their dagger into the heart of the one they loved most.
“…My faith in the Spawn was strong. I thought with absolute certainty that It would bring them back. But…” Two Time watched as their silent tears began to drip into the glass below. They took a deep, shaky breath.
Noob placed a hand on their arm.
They jolted at the unexpected touch. They looked up to look Noob in the eyes. Their gaze was unfocused, but sympathetic. There wasn’t a single trace of judgement.
“But, they didn’t. Now you probably feel responsible for his death and hate yourself every day, don’t you?” Noob spoke. Two Time didn’t have to ask to know that Noob was talking from personal experience. The story of their friend had hit too close to home.
Maybe Two Time wasn’t as alone as they thought.
“Yknow,” Noob tapped the table anxiously. It was only then that Two Time realized they had already finished their second glass. “When Sixer first disappeared, I felt so sick I couldn’t even eat or sleep. I stayed up at night, insisting that it was my fault. I was fully convinced that I had been too mean during our argument, and that if I had just apologized sooner, maybe they wouldn’t have done something so wreckless…”
Noob took a shaky sigh. They almost sounded close to tears themself. “Now, they’re a big goat thing that wants to crush my skull and spill my blood. It feels like I’m being punished in the worst way possible. It’s even worse because for some stupid reason I- I still-“ Noob bit their lip, seemingly unable to finish their sentence.
“Love them. Even though you know they hate you,” Two Time finished their sentence. They felt an unfamiliar feeling. Empathy. They had the very same thoughts about Azure. Their first few days in purgatory had been spent crying themself to sleep while dwelling on the fact that the man hated them. They wondered if perhaps Noob had felt similarly about Guest 666.
Judging from how Noob paused, almost shocked, Two Time assumed that they had been right.
Noob chuckled and wiped their eyes, tears starting to fall. “Of course you get it. I guess we’re both just wrecks, huh?” Noob folded their arms and laid their head on top of them. They had a sad, but soft smile. Two Time couldn’t help but smile awkwardly back. They nodded slowly.
They never thought they would find anything in common with anybody here. This felt…refreshing.
Two Time never really had friends. Azure was their only friend they had ever made. Elliot was nice to them, but he was nice to everyone. Yet, something about having someone understand them so personally…
It was refreshing.
The two sat in silence for a few minutes, but it wasn’t tense. It was comfortable. There was the indistinct chatter of other survivors elsewhere in the tiny cabin. Two Time felt oddly relaxed, although they weren’t sure if it was because of Noob or the alcohol.
Noob suddenly snorted.
“Hey, wanna hear about some of the stupid stuff Sixer and I got up to before we ended up in this hellhole?” They asked between drunken giggles.
Two Time was a bit confused. They wanted to tell them stories? However, Noob’s smile was infectious. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” They answered quietly.
The rest of the night was somewhat of a blur. They remembered listening with a mixture of awe and envy as Noob described their experiences with Guest 666 before the Spectre. They sounded so…normal. They would go on dates, they would kiss in public, they would party and dye their hair, it was all so new and unheard of.
Two Time was finally getting a glimpse into the “horrific” outside that Amarah had so desperately tried to hide them from. Usually, they’d scold themself for thinking such thoughts. How dare they doubt Amarah’s words?! But the alcohol numbed those thoughts for a moment, and allowed Two Time to wonder what it would have been like to grow up normally.
Two Time and Noob began to go back and forth, sharing pleasant memories of their partners before this hellish experience. Two Time felt their stress being lifted slowly but surely. They had never spoken so personally with anybody aside from Azure. They hadn’t spoken to anyone since Azure really.
Two Time learned a lot of things about Noob. They liked to party. They were an excellent cook. They were something called genderfluid, which they had to drunkenly explain to the uneducated cultist. They had a cat back at home.
They remembered watching as Noob yawned loudly. “This was- this was really great, yknow,” they giggled sleepily. “I should probably head off to bed. Who knows when that stupid- ghost demon thing or whatever wakes us up. Good night, Two Time.” Noob waved as they stumbled to their feet. Two Time managed to muster a wave back. They didn’t even notice their own exhaustion until Noob finally left.
When Two Time woke up, their skull felt like it was splitting.
They sat up with a wince and rubbed their forehead. They felt like absolute hell. They glanced around and saw that most of the followers were still asleep. They stood up and rubbed their forehead. The lights in the cabin certainly weren’t helping. Spawn, they felt so nauseous.
They slowly walked to the front door. They had near silent footsteps, something they had adapted in the cult. They stepped around all of the sleeping bodies, careful not to awake any unwanted company.
They opened the door and shivered. The night air chilled their skin, even through their thick layers of clothing. It was always night in this purgatory. They sat down on the steps and slumped their head into their hands. The pain was searing, unlike any they had felt before. They whined quietly to themself.
They tensed as they heard the door creak open. They didn’t dare turn around and face whoever it was. Footsteps approached, and someone plopped down right beside them.
“I-It’s called a hangover. I uh- I probably should have warned you about that,” Noob spoke nervously. They had their hands shoved in their pockets. They laughed quietly, but it held an awkward and shy tone now that the alcohol had worn off. “It’s the uhm- the bad part about drinking.”
They tried to place a comforting hand on Two Time’s shoulder, only for the cultist to flinch away.
Two Time wasn’t used to letting anyone touch them. Not since Azure. But, something about Noob’s touch felt comforting. It was different from Azure’s. Azure’s touch comforted them, but also made them feel giddy and vulnerable. Noob’s touch made them feel…understood. It was a far less intense feeling. It was different, but almost relieving.
Noob hesitantly put their hand back on Two Time’s shoulder, and this time, Two Time didn’t flinch away. In their exhaustion, they slumped against Noob, their head falling onto their shoulder. Noob tensed up. They clearly weren’t expecting the cultist to suddenly be so comfortable around them. However, they slowly relaxed.
Maybe Two Time needed this.
And maybe, just maybe, they needed this too.