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As ‘Hikaru’ lay in Yoishiki’s room, the other continued with today's homework. “Yer not doing the homework?” Yoshiki asks, only hearing a hum from the other. “C’mon, get up and start on it,” He nudges ‘Hikaru’ with his foot, the other turning to lay limp on the floor.
“Ya know something funny happened today, Yoshiki,” “Hm?” ‘Hikaru’ turns to face him, a sneaky smile on his face lighting up the room. But it is nowhere near Hikaru’s usual sly smile. “Well, I saw a couple of kids today at the grocery store! Like, ya know the one near yer house?”
“Yeah, so? Did they figure you out of something,” Yoshiki lets out a small chuckle, putting down his pencil and turning to face ‘Hikaru’. “Nah, they ain’t like you. Kids ar’ far from observant!”
“You’d be surprised how some of them are,” “Anyways, their mom was there an’ said hi to me. Apparently they were new to the area. Came from the city or something!” “And?”
“She asked me if I could play with her kids since they were lonely. Left all their friends behind when moving,” He sits up, crossing his legs to mirror Yoshiki. “And did ya?” Yoshiki raises his brow, trying to understand where ‘Hikaru’s’ story is getting at.
“Well, ya! For a bit, that’s why I was late to yer house! Anyways, I thought they were so cute. They surprisingly got along with me well,” “Well, I’m glad you had fun,” The other starts to turn away from ‘Hikaru’, and just as he’s about to grab his pencil, ‘Hikaru’ stops him.
“That’s not all! I had one of those memory flashes, ya know? Like the ones where the real Hikaru’s memories flash back,” Yoshiki’s heart drops at the mention of the real Hikaru. Sometimes, he forgets that. Forgets there once was a real Hikaru.
A real Hikaru that no longer exists.
“Alright, what’dya see?” He turns back, this time clearly more immersed in what ‘Hikaru’ is about to say next. “Well… it was a vivid future memory, ya know? It’s new, never seen an imagined future before,” “Huh. So ya can see what he thought the future would be like?”
“I guess so! Until now, I thought I’d only see things that actually happened,” “Well, a new ability discovered I guess,” Yoshiki awkwardly chuckles, realizing very well that Hikaru’s future memories were no longer achievable, ever.
His heart hurts, it twists in a way he can never describe. To just think that those future goals were no longer achievable— how Hikaru is never able to live the life he’s always wanted. To stay in this village, to come visit Yoshiki in the big city, to come stay over at his place… scare off his girlfriend, possibly?
Those were all the silliest dreams he dreamed of. But so did Yoshiki. They both dreamed of a life that still had each other by their sides. Dreams that are no longer possible…
“Eh? Well, I don’know. Anyways, while playing with the kids I got glimpses of him and what I would guess are his kids. They were like mini versions of him, but they didn’ look exactly like him! It was weird. I saw the kids playing with mini Yoshiki’s too!”
“Huh?” Is all Yoshiki can say, staring into ‘Hikaru’s’ eyes as if they’ll give him any more context to what he’d just said. “I think it was yer kids playing with his. It was cute, and ya both were just watching them play,”
Yoishiki can feel his stomach burn with a familiar gut wrenching feeling.
“Have ya ever thought of kids, Yoshiki?” Yoshiki just stares into blank space, his body, head, everything on fire. “No.” Is all he can manage to blurt out, knowing he’s lying.
He’s thought of it before, many times actually. Whenever he passed by children, he’d think of how it would be like to raise them. He’s had a bit of experience with his litter sister, but not nearly enough to raise a child.
But, there was always a thought in the back of his mind whenever he thought of raising one. How could he raise them so his children didn’t see him the way he saw his own father?
He wants a good life for his children, to bear the responsibility of giving them life and raising them to be incredible. To achieve more than he was ever able to.
But whenever he thought of raising them, he had always thought of Hikaru being by his side every time. How he’d scare the kids, but later make it up to them by buying them ice cream.
Or how whenever they were upset, he’d do some stupid face to cheer them up. He thought about how those kids would probably learn so much bad stuff from Hikaru, and that all of Yoshiki’s hard training would be for nothing.
Or that when the kids are all grown up, they’d come back to both Yoshiki and Hikaru, who are old, wrinkly, and have grey hair (even though Hikaru’s would be barely visible). They would both see the little babies their children had brought them.
They would both feel immensely proud for the amazing humans they both raised. Regardless of them being raised by two men, no matter what society says.
Society.
The very thing that forced Yoshiki shut from Hikaru.
What stopped Yoshiki from telling the real Hikaru the truth.
Society.
Fuck society.
Yoshiki will now never have another chance to tell Hikaru the truth. To tell him that he loved him.
Yoshiki will never, ever, get the chance to look at their children, see the small resemblances to Hikaru. To see their children behave so much like Hikaru, that Yoshiki would never get a break from having Hikarus around him.
So Hikaru’s memory is now engraved in his brain, tucked away in a special place that nobody will get to.
“Yoshiki, ar’ya okay? Yer crying,” ‘Hikaru’s’ cold hands come into contact with his cheek, making Yoshiki’s spine stand straight. His own hands go up to his face, touching the tears falling down his cheek.
“I miss Hikaru. I miss our future…”
Hikaru, come back. Please.
Please .