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They were getting close. Louis and Aasim helped a limping Omar who was too in pain to walk on his own.
Their eagerness to reach Ericson’s was far more powerful than any other encouraging speech Aasim could have come up with at the moment.
It’s not like he wanted to talk anyway. And judging by Omar’s constant wincing, he didn’t want to open his mouth, either
And Louis; as much as he’d love to forget the past for one second by coming up with a witty observation or a dumb joke, he just couldn’t.
The minutes they spent running away from the boat in flames were the longest of their lives.
The three of them were all alone, with only each other as company in their silent journey.
They didn’t know anything about their friends. No signs of Clementine, AJ or Violet.
Aasim’s only consolation was the idea of finding them at Ericson’s all safe and sound, and the only way to get that certainty was to keep walking until they reach home.
‘There’s no place like home...’ He reminded himself everytime he thought he was about to collapse.
Soon enough, they reached to the familiar traps that lead to the high walls that surrounded their school.
Up in the watchtower, Willy waved at them and hurried down to open the gates for his incoming friends.
Louis helped Omar sit down in one of the benches, before plopping himself down next to him and rested his head on his forearms.
As drained as Aasim was, he didn’t allow himself to sit or stand still.
‘Willy, give them some water, I’m going to get Ruby so she can patch them up’
Before Aasim could run off, Willy grabbed his arm and gave him a silent look.
Aasim could read the worry in his eyes.
‘Where is Ruby...?’ He asked, anxiety building up again.
‘I’m all alone in here, Ruby-'
‘She wasn’t on the boat, where is she?’ Aasim insisted.
‘I don’t know! She should have been here by now, but nobody else has arrived so far...!’
‘When was the last time you saw her?’
‘B-by the hay, before Clem and the others got into the boat.’
‘Shit.’ Aasim shook his head, ‘you mean she’s still out there? That was hours ago!’ The increasing volume in his voice made Willy take a step back.
‘We need to wait for the rest to come back. I’m sure she’s with them, man’ Omar said as an failed attempt to calm his friend down.
‘We can’t fucking wait!’ Aasim yelled, tired of everyone’s passiveness ‘Louis could die if… a-and Ruby could be in serious danger all by herself…We need to get her back!’
Words came out of his mouth with difficulty as he spoke, but he didn’t care. It was an urgent matter and his friends needed tot wake up.
When he got no response from any of them, he ran off towards the school, desperately looking for something, anything he could use to defend himself that was better than the small knife he was carrying.
‘Let me go with you. I’m tired of waiting.’ Willy followed him.
Aasim shook his head and put a hand on his shoulder.
‘I need you to take care of them and be alert. Protect the school. Can I count on you?’
Willy nodded and Aasim walked away without further words.
Though tired and hurting, he walked decisively towards the forest in search for his friend.
He needed to find her, or he would lose his mind. Many doubts assaulted his mind as he continued walking.
What if she was hurt?, his thoughts didn't give him peace, What if I never find her?
She was the only one who could truly help their friends and if she was really gone, then all hope was gone with her.
He shook his questions off, refusing to believe such ugly fate for her.
‘Ruby knows how to defend herself’ He thought, trying to reassure himself, wiping sweat and frustration tears off his face-
All through his hurried walk, he felt observed. He knew there was something following him, but everytime he turned around and observed his surroundings, he found nothing besides trees and leaves. He began thinking maybe it was a squirrel or a rabbit scuttling away as he made his way through the forest, but he never stopped feeling like he wasn’t alone.
The shot of adrenaline he got after he left the school was starting to wear off and he suddenly felt every possible physical discomfort at once. He sat on the ground with a tired groan, never letting go of his bow. Right as he was starting to get comfortable, the sound of rattling leaves in the distance startled him and made him turn around and shoot an arrow without thinking twice.
‘Lord Almighty!’ A voice cried from the shadows. Aasim immediately recognized the distinctive intonation and ran towards its source as fast as the arrow he shot moments earlier.
When he found his friend hidden in the darkness, he couldn’t contain his joy.
‘Ruby!’ He smiled, relieved he didn’t hurt her. He wanted to hug her tight and kiss her, so he could truly convince himself he wasn’t dreaming, but before he could even think of walking closer to her, he got punched in the arm.
‘You could have killed me!’
Aasim didn’t mind the violence nor the set of curse words that followed her scold. He knew he had it coming.
Ruby felt silent as he took a moment to really see her under the poor moonlight. Her tired eyes glared at him. She was dirty, furious and just as exhausted as him. Maybe even more, judging by her unusual heavy breathing.
She truly was much stronger that she ever let on. Aasim embraced her, feeling a kind of bliss he hadn’t felt in a long time.
‘I’m sorry about the arrow…I just’ He tried talking through his happy tears ‘I’m just so happy I found you safe and sound’
He tightened his grip around her without noticing and all he got in response was a muffled whimper.
He looked at her as she flinched out of his arms. His worry grew when her guilty eyes met his.
‘Ruby, what’s wrong?’ He asked as softly as he could.
‘I…’ She hesitated ‘I don’t think I’m safe at all…’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I got bit’ She confessed quietly, looking at her feet.
‘What?’ He breathed.
‘A walker bit my arm while I was trying to distract the people guarding the entrance of the boat, so the others could get in and-’
‘How, how didn’t you see it coming? Fuck, Ruby, how could you be so…?’ Aasim ranted angrily as the girl shed her first tears in front of him.
The boy was too busy cursing at everything and everyone to notice the frightened girl before him.
‘I was too focused on not being seen and the walker came out of nowhere and I couldn’t get the motherfucker off in time’ She explained. The boy still couldn’t believe it. There was a lot to process in such a little time, but it would be easier to believe all she was saying if he had solid evidence.
‘Show me’ He demanded.
Ruby shook her head, instinctively covering up her forearm with her left hand
‘No, Aasim, you don’t need to-’
‘Show me, now.’ He insisted with impatience in his voice. He frowned as she painfully lifted up her torn up sleeve. Deep down he knew he didn’t want to see it. He wanted her to tell him she was just joking, but he knew she would never joke with something as serious as that.
His heart sunk when she revealed a noticeable set of teeth marks darkening her skin. A chunk of her forearm was missing.
Ruby winced when he examined the open wound closely. The color had changed from a healthy pink to a yellowish green, due to the infection now running in her blood.
‘Not so hard’ She mumbled at the verge of tears. He was only checking the tension of her skin, but to her, it felt like he was burning her with his fingertips.
‘Can you…?’ He looked up, only to find Ruby already shaking her head. She knew exactly what he was thinking.
‘Even if I tried, cutting my arm wouldn’t help. It’s been too long. I already feel weak, I’m not sure but I think I started a fever, too’
Aasim reached to feel her forehead. His hand almost burned against her skin.
‘How long…until…?’
‘I don’t know’ She shrugged ‘It could be a couple minutes, or a couple hours…There’s not really a way of knowin’…All I know is there’s nothing I can do, I’m going to-’
Her quickened breathing soon turned into hyperventilation as she finally surrendered to panic.
Her sorrow started to spread outside her, reaching his friend who was watching her cry her heart out without knowing what to do.
He didn’t give it much thought and embraced the girl to contain her as she kept weeping against his chest.
‘You’ll be alright’ He whispered.
‘I don’t want to die, Aasim, I don’t want to go...’ She begged, clinging to him as if some kind of force was pulling her away from him.
‘We need to go back, I’m sure we can find something there that will bring you back to health’
‘Nothing can fix me up, it’s too late for me.’ she sniffled ‘I ain’t comin’ back. I don’t want to be there when I turn. I don’t want to scare or bite anybody’ She looked at Aasim straight in his eyes ‘You best leave me here.’
‘What? No!’
‘It’s for the best, trust me.’
‘Are you serious? Letting you turn into a walker?’
‘You need to go.’ Ruby insisted ‘Just…let nature run its course.’
‘Do you really want to be one of…them?’
The shake of her head confused him even more.
‘I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to turn into anything but it’s gonna happen no matter what I do.’
‘You’re not thinking this through.’
‘I also don’t want you to kill me before my time. It’s not your burden to bear.’
‘What kind of person do you think I am?' Aasim exclaimed. Killing her wasn’t an option to him and he started to believe maybe she really thought of every possible option available.
Her tearful eyes blinked at him, evidencing her silent resignation.
Aasim tried not to cry in front of her, but it was almost impossible at that point.
‘It’s for the best.’ She insisted, quietly, trying to convince herself of her fate and her inability to change it.
‘There’s still so much…I can- You can’t die yet, you hear me? You won’t-’
She lifted her left hand to fix his hair. A sad smile adorned her face as Aasim continued crying.
His heart was pounding fast. It was different from the last time they were alone together, though. Knowing she wasn’t going to be around anymore only made it worse.
He wanted to say all the things he had kept in secret all those years, but she beat him to the punch.
‘If only I knew I would end up like this…I would have used my free time a little better…’
Aasim frowned. Her words caught him off guard.
‘W-what do you mean?’
A soft stroke in his cheek made him close his eyes, giving in completely to her caring touch. His heart raced even faster now. It was starting to feel like the last time, only ten times more intense. He wasn’t imagining anything. She was there for real, being her most tender and sincere self.
In any other scenario, he would have been thrilled to be this close to her in the middle of the forest, but reality was different and as he realized the cruelty of life, he couldn’t stop his tears from flowing.
He couldn’t believe he was losing her right as he got a real chance to let her know how important she was to him; tell her about the countless sleepless nights he spent trying to understand his feelings for her and the many lines he dedicated to her in the dead of the night.
Now, the future he would often envision was lacking its bright light.
He opened his mouth to say something in response to her display of affection, but all his thoughts were grim and she didn’t deserve any more hopelessness, so he decided to stay silent and show back his love in another manner.
Ruby’s hand rested on his chest as he kissed her forehead. She suddenly felt the world was spinning around her. Her eyes closed slowly as her head nodded against the boy.
‘Careful’ He helped her sit down.
‘I got a little sleepy’ She said with a drowsy smile, trying to stop her own body from trembling.
He let her lean on him, passing one arm over her shoulder. The night was at its darkest point. The air was cold and reeked of death. He could only imagine how scared she was.
Despite everything, her smile remained. At least he was there.
‘I don’t know if you know this, but-’ She coughed ‘I used to have a crush on you’
‘Really?’ He breathed, blushing in the dark as he felt her nodding against his chest ‘I never noticed...’
‘It was silly at first. It started when I first got here. I was a mess and you would never say a word. I guess I wanted to be like you but I couldn’t keep quiet if it killed me and the other boys would always make me so angry all the time’ Aasim chuckled at the memory, as she continued talking ‘I still find it cool, that you are like that-I still like you, you’re the only person I’ve ever liked…you know, in a special way...’
Aasim took a couple of seconds to process Ruby’s words. Maybe she was delirious, but he wasn’t asking for clarification in a moment like that. Instead, he took a chance and reciprocated her feelings.
‘I’ve always liked you for your energy, from the little feisty girl I met years ago, to the driven woman you are now. I have to admit, sometimes, I wish I could have gone and punch a couple of teachers like you did in some occasions’
Ruby looked up, while he mindlessly played with her hair and spoke casually about his feelings towards her. She wanted to ask if he was serious, but his gentle touch was evidence enough.
A sense of safety surrounded her, making her forget those were her last moments.
‘Well ain’t you cute...’ She whispered with some difficulty, forcing a grin through her stinging pain.
‘It was a long time ago.’ He shrugged.
‘I wish we could have talked about this sooner’ She confessed ‘Imagine how different this would have been if we…’
She forgot what she was saying when she looked up and found him starting at her lovingly. She knew what he had in mind and just as he leaned closer, she flinched and quickly scooted away from him.
‘I don’t want you to end up like this’ She covered her wounded arm, fear running cold in her veins.
He was hurt, not by her rejective attitude, but her fear. He wanted to make her feel better, but didn’t know how.
He apologized, extending his hand to her. When he got no answer, he crawled closer and held her left hand.
‘I’m sorry if I was too invasive’
‘I didn’t mean to, I just- I really don’t want to hurt you’
‘You couldn’t…’
Ruby let go of his hand and traced his mouth with her thumb- Aasim listened to her soft plea.
‘Promise me. I need to be sure you'll be safe.’
‘I don’t think it works like that’ He chuckled. She kept serious and as soon as he read her expression, he corrected himself ‘I promise.’
There was no way to know for sure if he was lying.
Not even he knew if that was a possibility.
At this point, he didn’t care.
Maybe she wanted him to kiss her despite her biggest fears.
Maybe he could kiss her fears away..
She believed so as their lips met. For one second, she forgot about the world ending, at least for her.
Their first kiss burned in their mouths while a mixture of newfound feelings and sensations filled their minds.
She wrapped her good arm around him and buried her face in his chest, still not believing what happened. She didn’t care about the pain anymore. She only cared about the moment she just had with Aasim and how happy he made her feel, even if it was for a couple of minutes.
She made a mental list of all the things she’d give just to be like that with him for as long as they wanted.
But time was running low quickly. She felt weaker by the minute.
She tried to pull away from Aasim, but he knew what would happen if he let her go.
He tightened his grip as she tried to struggle.
‘Come on, now…’ She sighed ‘You have to let me go, it could happen anytime and I don’t want you near enough to hurt you.’
‘I’m not leaving you.’ He insisted ‘You’re not dying alone.’
She wanted to yell at him to leave her alone, but she knew well she would only be wasting her last bit of energy.
Instead, she stopped struggling and went back to her quiet begging. He couldn’t understand her, but decided to let her go.
‘Thank you,’ She smiled and kissed his cheek, ‘for bein’ here.’
Right as she finished her sentence, her smile faded as her vision was covered by a fog-like whiteness. She felt her own voice echoing Aasim’s name as she slipped out of consciousness.
He watched in panic as she collapsed against him.
Trying to regain his strength, he cradled her, hoping she’d wake up soon. She never responded to her name, no matter how many times Aasim called. Eventually, he stopped insisting.
He laid her on the ground, making sure she was comfortable in her deep sleep, and lay down beside her for a while, silently considering his options and all the possible consequences to his actions as he admired the beautiful starry night above them. It reminded him of the particular shine in Ruby’s eyes every time she talked about her plants or the animals she used to have as pets when she was little.
A smile flourished among the melancholic thoughts.
He looked over at her, realizing for the first time her eyes might not open ever again and the breathtaking glimmer in her look was now a thing of the past; something he would treasure as one of his most precious memories from now on.
Only then he realized how much he would miss her.
Struggling with the panic building up inside him, he decided to check her vitals, just like she taught him once.
She was hardly breathing, the beat of her heart was getting slower and slower as minutes passed.
Helpless, he brushed a strand of her fire-red hair while fighting back tears.
He glanced at her arm. Most of the skin around the wound was now blackened and decaying due to the severe infection.
He looked around them. Someone had to be around. He refused to believe this was the end. Someone would eventually come over and save them both.
But that didn’t happen. No matter how long he waited, he was alone in this. Nobody came to their rescue and Ruby was still unconscious next to him.
He finally gave in to his despair. The cursing became recurring and loud. Nobody was really there to see him break down, anyways.
His tears fell on Ruby’s jacket as he leaned over. She was dying before his eyes and there was nothing he could do to save her. He shook his head, refusing to believe that with the last drop of hope he still had.
There were still so many unsaid things he would have loved to share with her; so many gifts, so many experiences he never go to give her. And all because she was bitten while trying to save him.
Aasim dried his tears with his sleeve and held her hand.
‘I love you, Ruby’ He kissed her forehead before he realized he was already saying his goodbyes ‘Thank you for keeping us alive for so long’
Deep down, he knew she couldn’t hear him, no matter how much he wanted to reach out to her, wherever she was. He uttered no further words. Instead, he watched in silence as her once pink cheeks gradually turned into a sickly yellow and then a lifeless gray.
He soon realized she had stopped breathing.
When he finally came to terms with the fact that she was gone for good, he stood up and wiped the last few tears off his face . With his bow in one hand and an arrow in the other, he walked a little farther from Ruby, waiting for the inevitable.
About ten feet away, he heard the distinct groan of a recently turned walker. He didn’t turn around, he didn’t want to shoot her, even when he knew that wasn’t really her. Not anymore.
She never wanted to die.
She never wanted to turn.
It would be cruel of him to let her wander the forest like that.
He turned around and tensed his bow.
He wanted to apologize to her. He knew all that wasn’t fair. Life was brutal. Especially when it decided to give Ruby a premature death, and especially when it decided to give him the opportunity to meet and love Ruby only to take her away from him just as he was finally going to be loved back.
He aimed directly at her.
Life was unfair to them both. Death was cruel, too.
“Why did it have to be her? Why not take me, instead?”
He let her walk closer to him before he shot his arrow straight in her right eye.
Her body fell to the ground slowly, her left hand reaching out to him in a last attempt to get him, although Aasim read that as her last attempt to stay among the living.
He dropped his bow and ran closer to her lifeless body. Once it finally stopped moving, he turned it over to retrieve his arrow as it was is routine.
He grabbed the arrow, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull it out.
His stomach couldn’t handle it. He stepped back hastily, retching. He fell on his knees, feeling sick of himself.
Even when it was all over, he still felt like the worst person alive.
He fell to his side and curled up, unable to contain himself, mourning in long wails, feeling almost as if his own soul was escaping his body.
Nobody was coming to help.
Hope was already lost.
He remembered the small knife he had in his back pocket and took it out to examine it while toying with the idea of quitting the losing game he dared to call life.
He sighed deeply, and closing his eyes, he placed the sharp blade against his neck.
He couldn’t. He didn’t have the guts- or at least that’s what he kept repeating over and over while his agitated chest kept making him cry out of sheer panic. Right as he was about to push the knife against his skin, he heard his name loud and clear.
He looked over at Ruby’s body, but it was right as he had left it. Instead, he was lifted up by two people.
On his right, there was a guy he had never seen before. On his left, Clementine.
‘Let’s take you back’ She said, taking the knife from his hands and putting it away.
Aasim shook his head violently , trying to speak through his tears.
‘What’s the matter?’ The stranger asked Clementine in a soft voice, but she was just as lost.
Aasim tried again, but AJ spoke first when he walked a little farther.
‘Ruby…?’
Clementine walked closer to where AJ was to confirm the little boy’s suspicions.
In the faint first morning light, they could clearly see it was indeed Ruby’s corpse, turned into a walker, with an arrow in her eye.
‘What the fuck happened here?’ Clementine asked, turning to Aasim, who was too ashamed to look at her in the eyes.
‘I couldn’t save her. She got bit and I couldn’t save-’
‘We can ask all the questions later, we need to help him soon, he’s clearly not okay’ The stranger interceded.
’N-No!’ Aasim cried ‘ We have to get her back. She can’t be-she can’t stay here. We need to bury her, we need to take her home, we-’ Clementine interrupted his rambling with a tight hug.
‘We’re not leaving her here. She going home with us’ She reassured him.
After a while, they got everything ready and headed back to the school.
The welcome was warm until everyone saw what Clementine, James and AJ brought along with them.
‘Ruby’ Willy whispered, watching in disbelief as James and Aasim walked inside, carrying her body.
The atmosphere turned tense with the general shocked silence.
Aasim walked away from the small crowd without saying a word. Nobody stopped him as he grabbed the shovel and started digging next to Ms. Martin’s grave.
His pacing showed his determination to make it as deep as he could. He felt as if he might break down again if he ever stopped.
‘Here’ Clementine interrupted his train of thought ‘Let me help…you need to rest’ She took the shovel from his hands. Aasim walked inside the greenhouse. He looked around, looking for anything alive that could serve as an ornament to Ruby’s grave.
She would have wanted it to look pretty.
He was too focused on a pot with tiny white flowers, when a knock on the door startled him. He turned around to see Louis on the doorway, looking devastated.
‘Come in’ Aasim said, leaving the small pot back on the table. Louis walked in, and before Aasim could say anything, he was being hugged again.
Louis wasn’t attempting to give his friend comfort. He was looking for consolation himself and from Louis’ silent tears, Aasim realized he was not the only one hurting from Ruby’s parting. The two of them stood in the middle of the greenhouse, crying into each other’s shoulders the loss of their dear friend, until Clementine announced quietly that it was time for the burial.
Louis walked out, but Clementine stood in Aasim’s way just as he was heading out.
‘Back there, when we found you guys, you had this in your hand’ She pulled out his knife out of her pocket ‘Can I ask-?’
‘No,’ Aasim interrupted, ‘no, please don’t ask.’
‘I hate to be that person, but you realize that killing yourself wouldn’t have fixed anything? We would have lost you, too…’
‘I understand.’ He looked away, clearly uncomfortable with Clementine’s little lecture.
‘I mean, this is not over yet, and we already lost Ruby-’
‘I know. Clementine. I was there.’ He snapped at her, walking out.
Right outside, Tenn was putting a flower crown on Ruby’s head. Violet held the crying boy as she said a few last words in her memory while James refilled the grave with dirt.
Aasim kept quiet the whole time. He felt like staying silent for the rest of his life.
After everyone left, he sat in front of the grave to plant the little flowers he had found earlier.
‘I’m going to miss her...’ Willy mumbled as he sat next to him. ‘I can’t believe it…First Mitch and then, Ruby…’ A hopeless sigh escaped his mouth. Aasim looked over just to find a broken little boy. He believed Willy had adopted many personality traits from Mitch, but only then he realized how much he truly took after him. Rough on the outside, but forever a lost boy on the inside.
‘Willy…I’m sorry’ He wanted to explain more about how it all went down, but couldn’t find the words. Losing Mitch had already been a tough blow on him. Now, he lost the only mother figure he could clearly remember ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t bring her back alive.’
‘Just…promise me you wont die soon?’ He said, sniffling. Aasim looked at him as the boy faced him to insist ‘Promise?’
He passed one arm over his shoulder and cuddled him.
‘I promise I won’t die soon.’ He muttered.