Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Do we have to do this?” Rumi circled the mat in the HUNTR/X training room, trepidation filling her movements as she locked eyes with Mira. The red-headed hunter stretched her arms above her head before loosely shaking them out and stepping onto the mat. As with everything Mira did, she projected confidence, never faltering in her gaze or steps as she prepared for their spar. “We could just talk.” 

“No.” Mira had requested this full force spar with their real weapons. To say that Rumi had been…opposed…would be stating things lightly. But Mira hadn’t let up on the idea and Rumi knew better than to keep resisting when the taller girl got an idea in her head. 

“Fine. Have it your way.” Rumi wasn’t dumb, she knew exactly what this spar was about. Mira was a lot of things, subtle was not one of them. While the girls had discussed Rumi’s patterns and reasons for lying, Rumi could tell that Mira still held an underlying anger and resentment. Violence in the form of sparring with the object of her frustrations was her solution. Healthy coping mechanisms be damned right? Rumi smirked internally. None of the girls had good outlets, Rumi couldn’t exactly judge. 

As the two circled the mat, Rumi let out a short hum, summoning her sword to her hand. She had to adjust her hold ever so slightly, accommodating for the change in length and weight from her saingeom to the much larger blade. Rumi felt a twinge as the reminder of Jinu’s sacrifice added not only a heaviness to her blade, but also her heart. Across the mat, Mira’s eye twitched ever so slightly at the sight of the evolved sword, a barely there reaction that Rumi noted nonetheless. She couldn’t tell if Mira was reacting to what the sword stood for, or to Rumi wielding a hunter weapon after everything that had happened. 

Mira let out her own hum, something that sounded suspiciously like the opening notes to ‘Your Idol’, and her Gok-Do phased into existence. Rumi winced at the sight, flashes of the Idol Awards aftermath filling her head. Her patterns flared pink and she felt her fangs grow in and press gently into her bottom lip in response to the memory. With effort she focused back on Mira, training her eyes on the long haired hunter with careful attention. Mira was wearing a black, sleeveless, turtleneck crop top and a pair of sweats with her hair in a messy bun. She looked ready for war, her lips pressed into a tight line. But Rumi knew her friend better. She saw the slight uncharacteristic twitch of fingers on the shaft of the Gok-Do, which stood vertically at attention still, the trace of eyes across glowing patterns, slightly widening at the color, and the tiniest protrusion of a tongue pressed against the inside of a cheek, a nervous tick Mira had picked up as a child. To the outside world, Mira looked like her normal composed self, but Rumi saw apprehension written in the tiniest of fonts across Mira’s form. But they were here now. Rumi wasn’t backing down. 

With a growl, Rumi closed the distance, swinging a one armed right-to-left horizontal swipe at Mira’s midsection. For the briefest of moments, Mira’s eyes widened at the attack, noting Rumi’s speed and strength with her new blade. But any shock snapped into focus in an instant and Mira leaned back ever so slightly and felt the blade whizz past her. The added size and force meant that Mira couldn’t use her range advantage as effectively as previous spars, so she changed tactics, stepping into Rumi’s range and leveling a jab at the half-demon’s exposed ribcage. Rumi barely had time to kick her feet into a side flip over the Gok-Do, following her sword’s momentum and landing with an already in motion upswing. Mira deftly spun left, leaving Rumi once again with nothing to show for her efforts but air. The two split apart, neither landing a blow, but Mira clearly coming away with an advantage. 

“Harder than it looks isn’t it?” Strands of pink hair fell into Mira’s face, splitting her piercing gaze in half, creating a look that was broken as she spoke. “That extra weight can throw you off completely if you don’t know what to do with it.” She spun her Gok-Do around her back, like an extension of herself. “Is it the weight of the blade slowing you down, Rumi? Or the shame of being a liar?!” 

Mira didn’t wait for Rumi to respond as she raced across the mat, fiery anger in her eyes and her Gok-Do spinning at inhuman speeds. With a leap, Mira brought the Gok-Do into a downward thrust that caught the last slivers of Rumi’s loose crop top as the half-demon barely sidestepped. But Mira had been smart and forced Rumi to her left, meaning Rumi could either swing her blade and be blocked by the shaft of the Gok-Do still lodged in the floor, or spin the opposite way and leave her entire back exposed. Either way, Mira had the advantage and capitalized on it, using the Gok-Do like a pole to push into a side kick. Rumi groaned as it caught her in the ribs before disappearing into pink smoke and reappearing across the mat. 

“Shame?” Rumi’s left eye had gone full slitted and demonic. She raised her arms out wide “Look at me Mira! All I’ve ever known, all any demon knows, is shame!” 

Rumi changed tactics, rushing Mira, but refusing to attack until she was in a range that ensured her blows couldn’t be dodged. Mira jabbed with her Gok-Do, but Rumi stepped right and brought her sword down in an overhead blow. Mira twisted into a two handed block that staggered her footing with the force of Rumi’s attack. Rumi pressed, shifting into a low to high diagonal sweep that sent Mira stumbling into a wall. 

“I hid myself out of fear!” Rumi’s voice had grown colder. “Fear that you and Zoey would hate me.” Rumi sliced at Mira, forcing the younger girl onto one knee holding an overhead block. “I didn’t trust the people I loved the most! You think that doesn’t weigh me down?” Another blow, Mira shook with the effort. “You think I don’t fall asleep to the sound of my own regrets… Every. Fucking. Night?” She punctuated each word with a swing. Mira’s Gok-Do faltered as the red-head could no longer hold the block, blood seeped out of a cut across her upper forearm from a weaker block and her left shoulder had dislocated from the force of Rumi’s blows. 

Rumi paused. “I regret giving into fear and not trusting that you wouldn’t hurt me. But you can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that fear was wrong.” Mira met her gaze, tears slipping down her cheeks, but a wildfire bursting to life in her pupils. Shakily she tried to stand. 

“Stay down Mira.” Rumi swung her sword again, not hard, just enough to keep Mira from continuing. But Mira didn’t block. She dispelled her Gok-Do and rolled to the side, creating distance again. 

“You’re right Rumi.” Mira grimaced as she popped her shoulder back into place. “I can’t tell you that your fear was wrong. I have to see my Gok-do reflecting in your eyes every time I look at you. I have to face my own shame every time I see your patterns.” 

Mira approached, weaponless. Rumi dispelled her own blade, meeting the taller girl in hand to hand combat. Rumi threw a punch, Mira blocked. Rumi spun into a kick, Mira sidestepped. Rumi left the smallest opening after an attack, Mira slammed fists into her chest and head. Rumi could feel blood trickling from her nose. Mira laid in a left-right jab combo into a thigh kick that brought Rumi to a knee. 

“We don’t know you Rumi.” Mira sprawled on Rumi’s grapple and rolled the purple-haired girl over, pinning her arms. “You’ve lied to us since the beginning! YOU HID FROM US!” 

Rumi growled and twisted under Mira, managing to slip out from the taller girl’s grasp and lock in an arm bar. “Hiding? You want to talk about hiding? How about you and Zoey?” 

“Wha?” Mira stuttered out. 

“You think I don’t know?” Rumi tightened the arm bar. “ If it came down to picking between me and Zoey, between me and your girlfriend, do you really expect me to believe you’d ever choose me? After all these years of closeness between you? I was always going to be last. Always alone. Always the one that wasn’t picked!” 

“You never gave us a chance!” Mira slipped the arm bar and elbowed Rumi in the ribs before putting her in a leg lock. “Would you tell your self-isolating best friend that she wasn’t part of the duo in your trio? Do you think you wouldn’t have shrunk further away from us?”

“So you get to hide your secrets to protect me,” Rumi’s voice was broken. “And I’m just supposed to accept it. But when my secret gets revealed to the world I get weapons pointed at me? Great job at not pushing me away Mira!” 

“You pushed yourself away!” Mira was screaming now. “You isolated yourself! You helped write takedown! You pushed for us to expel all demons! YOU! You’re the one who pushed us away time and time again. We pushed you away once, you pushed us away constantly.” 

“I never raised my blade against you.” Rumi was crying now. Mira’s muscles loosened, letting Rumi slip out of the leg lock and glare at the mat. “I never treated you like a monster. I never pushed you to…” 

“To what Rumi?” Mira snapped her eyes to Rumi, fear filling them like water filling a cup ready to overflow.. 

“To asking your family to end it all!” Rumi was glaring back at her.

“You…” Mira was in shock. “You asked…Celine?”

Silence swallowed the two girls whole, blood, tears, and sweat dripping onto the mat, only broken by Rumi’s soft reply. 

“Yes.” Rumi summoned her blade, her original saingeom this time. “I offered her this. I asked her to…to do what she should have done when I was born. I felt abandoned, unloved. There…I thought if she did it, you two could be happy.” 

“We…we would never be happy with you gone.” Mira’s voice shook. “Though I suppose a raised blade makes that hard to believe. I…I’m sorry Rumi.” 

“Me too, Mira. Me too.”

Chapter Text

The worst part about having elevator access to your living room is that elevator doors don’t slam. Was Zoey hopeful about the outcome of Rumi and Mira’s spar? Not particularly, but she still played the guessing game as the doors dinged open. Mira, bruised and bloody, limped into the room with her eyes trained on the floor. No scowl, no smile, no eye contact. Zoey couldn’t remember the last time she had seen her girlfriend this beaten up and fear flooded her system at the sight. “Mir!” 

“Oh my goodness,” Zoey scrambled to her side and leveraged herself under an arm to support the red-head, causing Mira to hiss in pain. “Are you alright? I mean, obviously not, you look like you got hit by a semi in LA rush hour. Where are you all injured? Anything broken? Is Rumi? Are you?” 

“We didn’t kill each other.” Zoey shivered at the frigidness to Mira’s voice. “Not for lack of trying…I just. I need to sit down and ice my shoulder.” 

“Right!” Zoey deposited Mira on the couch and rushed out to grab an ice pack. If they hadn’t killed each other, where was Rumi? Were they okay? Was HUNTR/X okay? Zoey held off panic as she returned to Mira’s room 

“Hold still.” Zoey carefully wrapped the ice pack around Mira’s left shoulder. She could see the pain her movements caused, but knew it was necessary given the extent of Mira’s injuries. She could barely believe Rumi had caused such damage. 

“Ow, Zoey!” Mira flinched as disinfectant was applied to the cut in her forearm. 

“It’s for your own good!” Zoey dabbed slightly slower. “Mira…are we…the three of us…are we okay?” 

“I…I don’t know.” Mira’s eyes glistened. “This was supposed to get the anger out…but, I just made both of us more angry. Zo…she knows.” 

“She knows?”

“About us Zo.” Mira couldn’t meet Zoey’s eyes. The two girls hadn’t meant to keep their relationship hidden, but with how distant Rumi was at all times, they felt as though telling her might be more isolating. Why they hadn’t told her after the Idol awards…well that had been a hot topic of contention between the two. 

“How?” Zoey had wanted to tell her, to drag Rumi back into their orbit, to let her gravity pull at them like it did when they were younger. 

“We must’ve slipped up somewhere.” Mira’s voice was fragile. “She…she felt betrayed. Again. She said…she said she knew I would pick you if I had to choose between the two of you. She noticed and she felt abandoned…long before we pulled a blade on her.” 

Zoey’s ears were ringing as she finished up Mira’s last bandage. Rumi knew? Rumi thought? If she knew why didn’t she say anything? “We…how could she think you would choose? I…you…we love her. We could never not choose her.” 

“But we did Zoey!” Mira snapped to her feet, anger flooding her system once more. “I put myself between you and her! She saw me choose to protect you…from…from her! She begged Zo! And I…I chose.” 

“So did I.” Zoey’s voice was like water over a weathered stone. Flowing too smoothly, but hiding what lies below. “She looked me in the eyes Mira! I raised my knives. You aren’t the only one that chose that night. We…made a mistake.” 

“No.” Mira was staring into Zoey’s eyes now, a sheen covering them like opaque curtains waiting to reveal the pain and trauma hiding behind them. “I chose Zoey. I raised my weapon first. It was me who pushed her. Who…challenged her at every turn. It was me. You were forced to choose because I already had. You shouldn’t have had to…” 

“Enough.” Zoey felt tears sear her cheeks as rage filled her breath like a furnace coming to life. “You don’t get to do that. I’m sick of it Mira. I am not a child. I am not weak. I am not blameless. Stop trying to take all the blame! You didn’t force me to summon my blades. It wasn’t you who wrote all those hateful things about demons, who pushed her into his arms! My words Mira! My lyrics are the soundtrack to her nightmares, every. damn. night. It doesn’t matter if we never play it again. It won’t matter if we move past this. She will see me holding my knives at her. She’ll hear my hate in her lowest moment. She’ll see my face in her darkest memories. And I can’t carry this much regret anymore. It’s consuming me. And you…you can’t even look past your own shame and anger to see it.” 

Mira’s face was a tapestry of hurt, hurt that she hurt Zoey. Hurt that she hadn’t seen it. “Zo.” 

“I’m sleeping in my own bed tonight.” Zoey walked to the door. “Goodnight Mira.” 

“...Zo.”

“What?” Zoey snapped, not daring to look Mira in the eyes. 

“Ask her.” Fear set up shop in Mira’s voice. “Ask her about Celine.” 

Wind whipped around Rumi as she sat at the edge of the rooftop of HUNTR/X Tower. It was a spot she didn’t spend a lot of time in, but the height, the way Seoul spread out against her vision—small and bright—helped settle her mind in her darkest moments. Mira had limped back into the elevator first after their spar, if you could call it a spar, blood trickling behind her like even more words left unsaid. Rumi knew where she would go: Zoey. Her girlfriend. Rumi’s thumb played her fingers like reverse pianos at the thought. Grounding. 

“I wish I could talk to you…” She said into the wind, voice soft. “Even in your weirdest moments, you always made things make sense.”

“Unfortunately,” Zoey’s voice cut across the wind with an uncharacteristic trepidation. “You’re stuck with me instead.” 

Purple hair strands flicked across Rumi’s eyes as they came undone from her braid in the wind. She didn’t turn to face Zoey. What was the point of looking her in the eyes when all she saw was reflections of the Idol Award stage? “Can we save the lecture for later Zo? Just…go be with Mira.”

The last few words came out quiet, but the wind carried them to Zoey’s ears nonetheless. The maknae winced, frustration creasing her brow. “I’m not here to lecture you Rumi.”

“Then why are you here?” 

“Because I need to know.” Zoey spoke slowly, carefully placing each word. “I need to know if it’s true…you…you knew?”

“Yes.”

“I…Mir…we…” Zoey struggled with the words.

“Don’t.” Rumi said, tone biting across the whistling night air. “I know. What else is there to say?” 

“Everything!” In desperation, Zoey rushed forward, only stopping as Rumi turned her yellow slitted eye on her. Zoey bit back her words. She could tell Rumi had no interest in hearing her out. Not here, not now. “What about…what about Celine?” 

A scoff broke free from Rumi’s lips. “Better you don’t know.” 

“Better I…?” Now Zoey didn’t stop until she was standing over Rumi. “You don’t get to decide that for me! You don’t get to keep secrets from me that clearly affect me! Affect all of us!” 

Rumi shot to her feet, meeting Zoey’s anger with her own. “You really want to know? Fine!” 

In a blink of red smoke, the two girls were teleported to the great tree, the honmoon pulsing like an erratic heartbeat around them. Rumi stomped over to the tree, where she pulled out her Saingeom and stabbed it into the dirt before turning to face Zoey. 

“You want to know?!” Rumi was shouting now. “Guess Zoey! Guess why I would have come here with this in hand that night!” 

Eyes widening in shock, Zoey took a staggered half step back. “Rumi…”

“No more secrets right?” No longer shouting, Rumi’s voice had taken on a demonic trill, overlaying her human tone. “Not when it affects all of us right? Well take a good look Zoey. Look what your hypocrisy has bought you.” 

Tears fell freely from Zoey’s eyes as she sagged to her knees with a sob. Time drew to a crawl as Zoey let despair rip through her body, the truth washing over her like 1000 tiny cuts. “You…we nearly lost you…we nearly…” 

Rumi could hear the countless variations to how Zoey’s sentence would end. Killed you. Murdered you. Gave you to him. All of them swirled across her thoughts, but Zoey didn’t finish. Instead the maknae wiped her tears and climbed to her feet. Venom seared itself into her brown eyes like a brand. “How could you?”

A sneer curled on Rumi’s lips as her anger broke forth again. She walked close to Zoey, voice dropped low. “How could I? Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious.” Zoey said, shoulders set with rage and confrontation. “We’re your family Rumi. You don’t quit on family.” 

“Family?” The anger seeped out of Rumi’s voice, washing away to sadness. “I chose family Zoey. I begged for family. I begged for you! For Mira! For the people I love…and instead of family, instead of trust, or acceptance, or even the patience to hear me out, I got pushed aside. I got put out, like a broken harmony trying to fit into a duet. I wasn’t met with open arms and affection…I was met with steel and sting. Where was my family then?”

“We…”

“No.” Rumi spoke over Zoey. “I’m not done. At that moment, I was alone…orphaned. Dead mother. Demon father. An aunt who couldn’t look me in the eyes without seeing anything more than a disgusting beast. And the two girls I love most in the world had chosen each other over me. They hadn’t even given me a chance. There was no more family then. Just me, my flaws, my fears, my mistakes, broadcast to the world, ripping it apart. That’s how I could.” 

“Rumi…I…” Zoey tried again, fresh tears flooding her cheeks.

“Enough.” Rumi waved away her saingeom and took hold of Zoey’s arm. “We’re going home.” 

They appeared in the living room, causing Mira to jolt awake in alarm. “Wha? Zo? Rumi?” 

With another puff of smoke, Rumi disappeared into the night, leaving Zoey and Mira to stare at each other like they’d seen a ghost.