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Kagiura has spent the last two days moving stuff into his shiny, brand-new apartment he has with Hirano. He feels giddy just thinking about the fact that they share a living space together, and he can’t believe he gets to wake up to Hirano’s face almost every single day. They even share a bed now, which feels crazy and grown up and makes his belly squirm with anticipatory butterflies.
His biceps are still sore from lugging around Hirano’s huge and frankly unreasonable collection of books. At first, Kagiura was excited to carry the box for him, so that he could have the chance to show off his muscles and maybe impress Hirano a little.
Instead, Hirano argued with him and insisted he could carry them all himself, proclaiming Kagiura was like a peacock flaunting its feathers. Hirano ended up millimeters away from braining himself on the corner of a table before he accepted the fact that he needed the help. In the end, it took both of them to lift the box. Hirano had complained the entire trip up to the elevator, cranky from his bruised ego.
They squabbled about where to put the furniture, mostly because bickering is an easy way for them to express affection but also because their tastes in interior design genuinely clash. Even when Kagiura had no opinion on the placement of something and told Hirano to do what he wanted, Hirano still felt like he had to make a case and provide rationale. Kagiura mostly didn’t mind, except sometimes Hirano picked fights with him while he was carrying something heavy. Arguing with someone while holding a box full of dishes makes things considerably less funny.
Now, they’re having a late-night date at the beach to properly celebrate finishing moving all their stuff in without killing each other. Kagiura is excited, because they’ve never been to the beach together before and it’s a new setting to observe Hirano in.
He’s currently doing mental gymnastics over whether or not it’s appropriate to ask if he can hold Hirano’s hand.
Every brush of their knuckles feels electric. Kagiura holds his breath with each touch, determinedly keeping his eyes forward and trying not to tremble out of his skin with nerves. Since it’s late, most families and couples are beginning to disperse the longer the night drags on. The sky is crystal clear, without a single cloud; the perfect canvas for the countless number of stars Kagiura can’t stop stealing awestruck glances at. The moon is full and bright, and Hirano looks breathtaking under its light. Kagiura thinks the moon was created with Hirano in mind, the perfect backdrop to highlight all of his most beautiful parts.
His hair has a silvery hue under the glow of the moon and Kagiura positively aches to touch him. Hirano’s attention fluctuates between the sky and the water, so thankfully he doesn’t seem to notice Kagiura’s ogling. He’s perfectly safe to brood over how unfairly gorgeous Hirano is in peace.
And Hirano is unfairly gorgeous. He has the softest smile on his lips tracking the movements of an airplane in the sky overhead. It’s hard to follow, when there’s so many stars, but he can see Hirano tracing its path with his eyes. His bangs are messy and windswept and constantly blowing in his face; he keeps doing this cute little scrunch with his nose every time that he shakes his hair out. Kagiura wants to cup his cheek and fix his hair for him, and then maybe press a kiss to the adorable point of his nose.
He looks as otherworldly and unattainable as all the prettiest things in the galaxy do. Wanting to fill the spaces between Hirano’s fingers feels like trying to reach out and cup a handful of stars in the palm of your hand.
He sweeps his eyes down the length of his body and is only broken out of his revere by Hirano’s frankly horrendous posture. Kagiura bites his tongue as not to disrupt their lovely and intimate moment together, but Hirano really needs to quit slouching like that. His beautiful spine is going to misalign at this rate. Now that they live together, Kagiura is going to introduce stretching into Hirano’s daily routine.
Silly things like this remind Kagiura that at the end of the day, Hirano is just a regular person like anybody else. He’s imperfect, and unlike all the prettiest things in the sky, he’s tangible and within reach. He’s not above Kagiura, nor is he this enigmatic, celestial being he’s begun to fabricate in his brain. It’s easy to forget sometimes, because Hirano is the only person he’s ever been in love with. Kagiura can’t help but look at him through infatuated, pink-stained lenses some days.
Kagiura wants Hirano every day. He wants him when everything is decidedly less pink, and Hirano is being infuriatingly stubborn and picky and inflexible, like how he was during their move. He thinks Hirano is wonderful, even if his intervertebral discs are at risk of degenerating. When they’re old and Hirano is moving slow from his contorted spine, Kagiura will make sure to stay dutifully by his side and give him a massage at the end of every day.
Their hands bump again, and Kagiura is reminded of how much he wants to intertwine their fingers. They’ve never done that in public before except at the sports festival, when their relationship was more ambiguous. Hirano is a private person, and Kagiura doesn’t want to overstep a boundary or make him uncomfortable.
He diverts his attention to the pleasant smell of the salt in the air from the ocean. Even though it’s hot and muggy, there’s a perfect breeze constantly kissing Kagiura’s skin that really makes the night feel like magic. It’s quiet except for the crashing of the waves on the shore, the perfect romantic ambiance that only makes Kagiura’s fingers itch to hold Hirano’s hand even more.
When their knuckles brush for the umpteenth time while they walk, he chances a glance at Hirano. There’s a small smirk on his face that brings Kagiura pause.
“Are you doing this on purpose?” he asks him, stopping in his tracks so he can give Hirano his very best pout. His voice sounds raspy from disuse, so he clears his throat while he waits for Hirano’s response.
“Maybe a little,” Hirano concedes, spinning around to grin at Kagiura, his hair rustling in the wind. His blue eyes literally sparkle under the shine of the moon, so heartbreakingly beautiful Kagiura is struggling to go along with their typical brand of banter. His longing burns harshly under his skin, a visceral and intense feeling Kagiura can’t distract himself from. He can barely hear his own thoughts because of how loudly his heart is pounding. Whatever expression Kagiura has on his face makes Hirano laugh even more. When Hirano walks up to him, Kagiura’s lungs freeze up.
“You’re so obvious,” Hirano says fondly, reaching out to run his fingers affectionately through Kagiura’s hair.
“With your track record, that’s a bold thing for you to say,” Kagiura mutters, glowering when Hirano gives his ear an admonishing tug.
“Don’t get smart with me,” Hirano scolds him, his voice too warm to sound properly chastising. Kagiura wonders what has him in such a good mood. Maybe the night feels as magnetic to Hirano as it does to Kagiura. When he just stares at Hirano with what’s almost certainly a dopey look on his face, Hirano rolls his eyes and extends his hand to him. Kagiura stares like an idiot at his open palm, his brain struggling to keep up with anything outside of his bodily mechanics. It’s hard to focus when his heart is racing the way it is; his head feels full of air, and he has to remind himself to exhale so he doesn’t accidentally suffocate himself. Hirano gets impatient and starts wiggling his fingers at him in clear invitation, but Kagiura feels pinned in place. “Just hold my hand already, you dummy. There’s hardly anyone around, so I don’t mind.”
“I don’t want to pressure you,” Kagiura says, his heart clenching up with guilt. Sometimes Kagiura wishes he didn’t wear his emotions all over his face. “I’m fine just being beside you, Hirano-san.”
“You’re so ridiculous,” Hirano grouches, stomping closer to him and aggressively prying Kagiura’s fingers apart so he can lace them through his. “I want to hold your hand, okay? When have I ever done something I genuinely didn’t want to do?”
Hirano stubbornly starts walking without letting Kagiura respond, dragging him along the shoreline while refusing to look at his face. It’s too dark to tell, but Kagiura would bet his entire athletic career that Hirano’s blushing.
“You’re so cute,” Kagiura sighs, once his brain finally catches up to everything that just happened. He squeezes their joined hands and tugs Hirano closer to press a quick kiss into his hair. “You’re the best, Hirano-san.”
They slow to a stop and admire the endless blue-black of the ocean. Hirano is standing so close to him, their shoulders knock together while they take in the view. The waves lap at their feet and Kagiura happily wiggles his toes in the damp sand.
“Thanks for coming here with me,” he says softly. “I’m really grateful we get to do this.” He scratches shyly at his cheek and admits, “I, uh, missed you a lot when you moved out of the dorms.” His tongue feels thick in his mouth with every word. He swallows around the dryness of his throat and continues. “And, um, I hope we can keep going on dates like this for a long time, Hirano-san.”
Hirano breathes out slowly through his nose and then gingerly settles his head onto the curve of his shoulder, his hair tickling Kagiura’s neck. “Yeah, well…” He makes a flustered sort of sound and grips onto Kagiura’s hand tighter. “I missed you, too, Kagi-kun.”
Kagiura flutters kisses into his hair and tries not to melt into a lovesick puddle from Hirano initiating so much physical contact in such a public setting. Kagiura is glad no one is around; he wants to preserve this moment between them, free of any prying eyes. Mostly, he doesn’t want to stop holding Hirano’s hand.
Since Hirano seems to be in a particularly magnanimous mood, Kagiura decides to embrace the romantic atmosphere of the night and speak candidly about the current depth of his emotions. It feels safe, under the limitless curtain of the stars while standing in front of the wide stretch of the sea.
“You look beautiful like this,” Kagiura tells him. It comes out clunky and sort of vague, so he licks his lips and keeps going before Hirano can say something snarky or get shy. “I mean, um. You seem happy and carefree, and it looks good on you.” He wishes he could say things like this in a more profound and meaningful way, like in movies he’s watched or in manga he’s read. Telling Hirano that the moon was designed specifically to paint the perfect afterglow on his skin feels a little intense, even for someone as blunt as Kagiura can be. Hirano would probably scoff and accuse him of watching too much romance.
The thing is, Kagiura genuinely doesn’t watch a lot of romance. Why would he, when he’s got the real thing right in front of him? Kagiura knows Hirano loves a blue sky, but he really wears the moonlight well.
“I am happy, you big sap,” Hirano mutters. He sighs loudly, like he’s being greatly inconvenienced, and then presses a lightning-fast kiss to Kagiura’s cheek. Hirano’s lips feel warm and soft on his face; Kagiura immediately wants to feel them against his mouth.
“Good,” Kagiura says, bringing their joined hands to his lips and softly pressing them to Hirano’s knuckles. “I love seeing you happy, Hirano-san.”
Hirano uses his free hand to smear it exasperatedly down his face. He groans and then glances surreptitiously around them, before bouncing on his toes and giving Kagiura a quick peck on the mouth.
“Ah,” Kagiura croaks stupidly, once the kiss breaks. Heat crawls into his cheeks. “Cool.”
It’s not that they’ve never kissed before, but the exact number of kisses on the lips exchanged between them is insignificant. By the time Hirano decided kissing was something he sometimes wanted to do, Kagiura was in his third year and Hirano was living in the dorms at his university. It’s been hard to find the privacy to do things like that until this point, with all the previous curfews and regulations. Kagiura doesn’t know what to with the knowledge that they share four walls. It’s hard not to feel bashful or worry about crossing a line, now that there are more opportunities to explore the physical dynamics of their relationship.
“Cool,” Hirano parrots back at him, his shoulders shaking when he starts snickering. He jostles Kagiura while he laughs, pulling on his arm through the connection of their hands and it’s just… An absolute dream. Kagiura watches Hirano laugh with cartoon hearts in his pupils and absolutely refuses to take this moment for granted.
“I love you,” Kagiura tells Hirano quietly, once he’s done giggling. He traces a teeny tiny heart into the back of Hirano’s hand with his thumb. “Um, I hope you know that, Hirano-san.”
Hirano grunts and knocks their shoulders together. He teases Kagiura to cover up what’s obviously embarrassment and says, “You’re really taking advantage of the scenery, huh?” Before Kagiura can protest, he adds, “Of course I know that, silly. You tell me every day.”
Kagiura swallows the frustrated lump in his throat and takes Hirano’s other hand in his so they’re completely facing each other. He wants Hirano to be able to read the sincerity on his face. “It’s not about the scenery, Hirano-san. I’d tell you this anywhere and mean it just as much.”
Hirano’s eyes go wide. “Kagi-kun—”
“I love you so much,” Kagiura interrupts him seriously. “And I want this forever.” He softens his voice and amends, “I want us forever. When we get busier and see each other less, I don’t want to have any regrets and waste the precious time we have together right now.” He swings their joined hands to try and lighten the mood, like he’s not baring his heart out for Hirano to see. “I love you, and I’m serious about you. Hirano-san, you’re really the best thing in my life. I’m so happy to exist with you like this.” He presses another kiss to one of Hirano’s hands and offers him a sheepish smile. “It’s really beautiful here, but I think experiencing this with you makes it even more beautiful.” Now that he’s started talking, Kagiura finds it impossible to stop. His chest feels lighter with every confession. “I just—I feel such big, overwhelming emotions when I think about you, sometimes, and it hurts to hold them back? So… Yeah.” He shrugs and lamely finishes with, “I just… Wanted you to know.”
Hirano looks like he’s about to start crying. He opens and closes his mouth, his eyebrows drawing together like he’s at a loss for what to say. He searches Kagiura’s face for a long few moments that feel more like minutes; Kagiura wonders if maybe this time he said too much. An apology sits heavily on the tip of his tongue, until Hirano shakes his hands free so he can curve his fingers around both of Kagiura’s cheeks. Kagiura’s heart trembles behind the cage of his ribs.
“I’m serious about you, too,” Hirano says, his voice laced with conviction. “I don’t really know how to be any other way. I don’t always know what to say, and to be honest, I’m not very romantic.” He licks his lips, and Kagiura is helpless to how much he wants to kiss him on the mouth. Hirano’s face contorts when he asks, “And who the hell told you to hold anything back?” He pinches the fat in Kagiura’s cheeks gently between his fingers. “I don’t want you to hurt, and the way you feel makes me happy, so it doesn’t make any sense for you to do that.”
“Sorry,” Kagiura says softly, distracted by the long length of Hirano’s eyelashes from up close.
“You should be,” Hirano murmurs, and then he slides his hands around the nape of Kagiura’s neck and slants their lips together.
Kagiura gasps into his mouth and shudders all over, slipping his hands instinctively up Hirano’s waist and clinging so he doesn’t collapse. He kisses him back gently, trying to pour his love and devotion into every drag of their mouths. When Hirano pulls back and their lips slide apart, Kagiura feels dizzy.
He’s never kissed anybody like that before in his life. He doesn’t want to kiss anyone else like that ever, if it’s not Hirano he’s kissing. Kagiura will make sure to broadcast every sappy thought he has at all times, if it means Hirano will kiss him like that again. He decides to voice this and beams when Hirano laughs at him and swats his shoulder.
“You’re so gross,” Hirano complains. “I seriously can’t believe you’re a real person sometimes.”
“Because I’m so charming,” Kagiura offers helpfully.
Hirano’s lips tick up at the corners. “Hmmm,” he hums doubtfully. “Not quite what I was thinking.”
Kagiura slides his hands higher up his back to draw him in closer, blinking innocently at Hirano when his eyes narrow.
“Because I’m so cool?”
“Definitely not that.”
“My athletic body, then.”
Hirano huffs out a surprised laugh. “I was actually thinking about your unbelievable modesty.”
“I’m very modest, Hirano-san,” Kagiura agrees demurely. “Everyone is always telling me that.”
“The size of your head says otherwise,” Hirano quips back, reaching out to muss up his hair again. “You damn brat.”
Kagiura keeps one hand steady on Hirano’s back and scoops his other one beneath his knees to hoist him up and into a bridal carry. Hirano makes an outraged noise and starts smacking his chest while Kagiura hobbles into the water.
“You brute,” Hirano hisses, his arms flailing when Kagiura pretends to drop him. He clings tightly to Kagiura’s shoulders, his face shifting into one of mutinous fury. “I’m gonna kill you if you throw me in the ocean. No one will ever find your body.”
Kagiura ignores the protesting of his triceps—Hirano is definitely not small or light by any means—and wades a little further. He doesn’t actually have a death wish, so he stops when the water reaches just beneath his knees. “You should probably be nicer to me.” Kagiura points out, “I’m holding your life in my hands, Hirano-san.”
“I will kill us both,” Hirano seethes. “Put me down or I’ll never kiss you again.”
“Okay,” Kagiura agrees, and then pretends to let him go.
“Not here!” Hirano shouts, clinging tighter to his neck and scowling when Kagiura starts laughing at him. “The water is so dark, who knows what’s in here! A jellyfish is gonna sting you, and then who is gonna have to drag your sorry ass to the hospital?”
Kagiura obligingly carries him back to shore while he answers his hypothetical question. “You always take such good care of me, Hirano-san. I know you wouldn’t let a jellyfish sting get me down.”
As soon as they’re on dry land Hirano puts him in a headlock, angrily driving his knuckles into his scalp. Kagiura drops his legs but grips his back so he doesn’t fall and get hurt, whining loudly when Hirano doesn’t let up.
“Owwww, I’m sorry!!” Kagiura very carefully eases his hand off of Hirano’s spine so he can try and slip out of his hold and get away from the burning feeling of Hirano’s fist digging into his skull. “You’re so violent!”
Hirano redoubles his efforts and catches Kagiura before he can get away, locking his arm stubbornly around his neck. “You tried to throw me in the fucking ocean!”
“I wasn’t actually going to do it!” Kagiura yelps when Hirano grabs at his arm with his unoccupied hand to try and stop him from squirming.
They push and shove at each other until Kagiura trips over a branch and careens backwards into the sand. Hirano tumbles with him, his hand slipping behind Kagiura’s head to help cushion his fall.
“Look what you did,” Hirano grumbles, inspecting his face for any sign of pain or injury. “Are you okay?”
“You’re the one who started wrestling with me,” Kagiura whines, staring up at him with pleading eyes. “I was just trying to be cute and flirty, and you attacked me!” Hirano’s resulting look of disgust only fans the flames of Kagiura’s heckling. There are so many cheesy and fun ways he could answer Hirano’s question. He settles for the most obnoxious one he can think of and responds, “I’m in so much pain, Hirano-san. The only thing that can make me feel better is true love’s kiss.”
Hirano looks around and then says, completely deadpan, “That’s too bad, I don’t see anyone else out here. We’ll just have to sedate you, so you don’t pass out from the pain.”
“Hirano-san!” Kagiura cries disbelievingly. “So cruel!”
Hirano cracks up laughing and gently smooths sand particles out of his face and hair. “You’re so stupid.” He strokes fondly at his cheek and then gives it a featherlight kiss. “Now quit your moaning already.”
“Ughhh,” Kagiura groans, looking at Hirano’s ridiculously pretty face and pouting at him pitifully. “I have a crush on you, Hirano-san,” he confesses. “Please take responsibility.”
“You have a crush on me?” Hirano asks him teasingly, petting Kagiura’s hair affectionately to his forehead. “Jeez, I had no idea. This is super awkward, maybe I’d better move out…”
“Hirano-san,” Kagiura whines. “I’m being serious!”
Hirano laughs openly in his face, his lips curling up with amusement. He trails his fingers down Kagiura’s face to tenderly cup his cheek. “How exactly am I meant to react, Kagi-kun? I’m your boyfriend, so I’d assume having a crush on me is a pretty standard prerequisite.”
Kagiura nuzzles into his hand, but his pout only gets bigger. “Does that mean you have a crush on me, too?”
Hirano levels him with an unimpressed look. “We’ve been dating for over two years, Kagi-kun.”
“So?” Kagiura knows objectively that he’s being ridiculous, but he just loves winding Hirano up so much. He wants to make him blush and admit he likes Kagiura romantically. “Ever heard of a loveless marriage? Or divorce?”
“We’re not married, nor have we ever been married, so that doesn’t make any sense. Quit fishing for compliments, you spoiled little brat.”
“Hirano-sannnnnn,” Kagiura complains, giving him his saddest eyes. “So you like-like me then?”
Hirano glares at him. “Obviously I like you, or we wouldn’t be dating!”
“That’s not the same thing as like-liking!” Kagiura accuses him. “I like ice cream, but I don’t like-like ice cream.”
“I’m in love with you,” Hirano snaps. Somehow, it doesn’t sound romantic at all. Hirano is so talented at acting pissed off. Kagiura lets out a dreamy sigh and watches him seethe happily. “I have a crush on you, I like-like you, so on and so forth. Will you please shut up now?”
“So cute,” Kagiura croons. “I love you too.”
They stay up talking for so long, they almost miss the last train home. They sprint towards the station with their fingers tangled together. Kagiura wonders if Hirano even notices or cares about the curious stares they elicit.
Hirano falls asleep minutes after sitting down and snores quietly into the crook of his neck, in that way he only does when he’s particularly exhausted. Kagiura lovingly brushes the drool from his lips in a way that’s probably too intimate for the train.
Kagiura watches the moon through the window and lets Hirano use his shoulder as a pillow the whole way home.