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“..ga..?” Ken spoke behind the closed door, knocking gently so as to not disturb the silence.
The door creaked open, slowly, revealing Stell's blank expression staring into nothing, mouth slightly open with glossy eyes.
He cried..? Ken thought, concern gnawing on him.
The room smelled faintly of sweat and stage lights. Stell sat on the edge of their shared bed, his right foot carefully elevated on a pillow, bandages slightly damp from the evening’s rush. He hadn’t moved for a few minutes, just staring blankly at the floor, as if waiting for something to break the stillness.
Ken stepped in quietly, closing the door behind him. He paused for a moment, taking in the sight of Stell—tired, still, and unusually quiet.
He walked steadily—almost tiptoeing—towards Stell and stopped at a safe distance, maintaining the other's personal space.
He raised his arm and placed his hand to softly rest at Stell's shoulder, rocking him soothingly. His fingers slid down to hold the latter's stiff knuckles. Tracing his arm like a delicate painting to be preserved in the museum, too delicate for a scratch, too priceless to break.
The older one flinched to the touch, but ignored it, except Ken, he saw it, felt it. He didn't like it.
"Langga… ayos ka lang?" Ken asked softly. Kneeling in front of the other's knees.
He didn't get a response, just the glossy eyes of Stell staring back at him.
Ken backed up, still kneeling, and held up Stell's right foot.
“Masakit pa rin ba?” He spoke in a hush tone. He knows it does, he knows Stell would deny it.
And he did, Stell shook his head.
Ken lets out a sigh, not of exhaustion, no, but of disappointment. Stell would still rather keep the pain to himself even after all these years
He stared at Stell's hands, his tense shoulder, the flat line of his mouth, his wet lashes—he did cry—and those eyes that stared back lovingly.
He turned his head to the foot beside him, raised it to his shoulder, and kissed it. At least this got a reaction from the older one. Wide eyes, caught off guard by the affection. Ken continued, he gently placed a kiss to the latter's ankle.
Then another one on the heel.
And a long soft one on the bridge.
His kisses made its way to the other's shin, his hands held up the muscled calf. Then to his knees, he rubbed his palm on the thigh, massaging it for Stell to open, Stell obeyed. His eyes softened at the sight, blinking at the younger one who stood up to match the level of his shoulder, and went back to his affectionate kissing.
Stell kept staring at the younger one, letting him do what he wanted, too tired to move away from the warmth. Then he made his way to Stell's eye, tasting the faint saltiness.
“You did cry..” A kiss on the cheek.
“Bakit ‘di mo sinabi?” Another one on the nose.
“..dahil ba sa kanila?” His voice was raspy, waiting for an answer, Stell looked like he too was waiting for it.
He finally gave in and nodded. Ken stood still, letting the former continue.
“I just didn't want to say something na mag ca-cause ng issue.”
…
“...not when we're already this big.” Stell looked out the window, referring to their fame.
Ken didn't speak. He didn’t rush him; he simply let Stell speak out the pain, letting the comfort of his presence be more reassuring than words.
“Recently kasi–siguro masyado lang akong naging–..um, I guess confident sa camera..” Stell stuttered, still looking at the window.
“Dapat..dapat ba hindi ko sinabi ‘yon?” His voice cracked.
“..may mali ba? Wala naman akong ginawa diba?” He sniffles, shoulders shaking.
“Pero..ang sakit na eh, sumosobra na sila..” He paused. “Masyado na silang nagsasalita ng masakit.”
He didn't realize the tears, the kisses Ken has been showering on him as he speaks, unbothered by the saltiness. He turned his head and was met with another one on his lips. Ken rested his forehead on him, eyes closed, and in a hush-raspy tone he spoke.
“It's not your fault.”
“I know.”
“But you're still affected by them.”
They responded quickly to each other.
“No–. It's just–”
Ken held Stell's head up with two hands. Almost covering the whole side of his head. Steadying Stell to face him.
“It's not your fault.” He firmly said.
“Don't take their words like it's your fault.”
“I'm not–!”
“Anong “I'm not” umiiyak ka nga eh!”
“Pagod lang ako–?”
“Yeah! Pagod sa kanila.”
They bickered, airy chuckles could be heard between their words. The tension in the air slowly lifted.
“Ga.”
“Hmm?”
Ken pecked the side of the older one's lips.
“Kung gusto mo mag ingay, mag ingay ka, kahit sa harap man yan ng ilang kamera.” He kissed the bridge of his nose.
“Mag joke ka na nag le-lead to us 4 na humahagalpak sa lapag.” A peck on his forehead.
“Ayos lang na sumabog yung maiksi mong pasensya” he chuckled, kissing Stell's tendon.
They stared at each other for a while, taking it all in as their breathing and heart beats went in synchrony.
“Stell..”
Stell looked up.
“I love you. 愛してます. Mahal kita. Gihigugma ko ikaw..” He confessed and repeated it like a ritual.
“Hala ang OA?” Stell teased, finally letting out a laugh.
“Oo ba, uulit-ulitin ko ‘yon para sayo!”
And so he did, he said the same phrase as he tickled Stell. Laughter filled the room, the heavy and tense atmosphere forgotten and replaced with warmth and giggles.
“Teka lang–! Maliligo pa ‘ko!” He pushed Ken's head away from kissing his face, again.
“Shhh.. diyan ka lang, ako na mag ready ng bath mo.” He softly commanded.
“Ay?? Ano paliguan mo rin ako?”
“Pwede.”
“???”
When Ken finally came back from the bathroom, he offered his hand for Stell to hold on to, leading him to the bathtub.
Once fresh and clothed, Ken blow dried the older one's hair, and tucked him into bed.
“Kulang nalang kwentuhan mo ‘ko ng bedtime story.” He laughed.
“Sige, one day, si Stell–”
“Wag na pala, matulog na lang ako.” Stell quickly turned to the other side of the bed.
Ken had pouted.
“Maligo ka muna bago ka tumabe”
Ken laughed, saying his goodbye and left the room.
He was met with 3 heads turning towards the door.
“Si Stell?”
“Masakit pa rin ba paa niya?”
“Nag landian kayo sa loob noh.”
Three heads now turned to Josh.
“Wow, parang hindi kayong dalawa nakadikit sa pintuan kanina!?” Josh defended.
Ken just chuckled, gently pushing them aside.
“Bahala kayo diya, maliligo na ‘ko. Tatabi pa ako sa meoowee ko”
“Hala, gusto ko rin tumabi!”
“Justin? Hindi ba ‘ko sapat?!”
“Luh?? Matanda kana, kaya mo na matulog mag isa.”
Fin.