Chapter Text
Black sorrow.
His whole life has been one endless pit of black sorrow. Nothing ever felt good, nothing felt fulfilling and Ivan has learned to live with this emptiness. He learned to put on a mask, a perfect mask of a perfect son with a perfect smile and perfect life. He remembers the hours spend in front of a mirror practicing his smile, all those days he spend watching other children play and talk with so little effort it actually made him little jealous, but he never show that.
He couldn’t.
The one man show he put on every day actually started to feel familiar like it was some scheme he had with himself, deceiving everyone. It was easy, but somewhere deep inside besides the void he wanted to feel.. Real. This desire grew every day and was just waiting for some catalyst to set it free.
It was second to last day of summer vacation before his final year of high school. Laying on his bed Ivan imagined his first day of school. Opaque black eyes could almost see his teammates going out of their way to suck up to him like they always did, Ivan learned long time ago that most people liked him for his money, looks, or status .A perfect student and a Capitan of a football team? Who wouldn’t suck up to him. The raven knew that but still rolled his eyes at the thought. Next he saw all his teachers with their pleasant smiles, they liked him, he was quiet and smart (all those years of putting on a show didn’t go to waste now did they?) Then he saw the familiar pink haired girl the one who always sit at his lunch table, he learned that she was one of those rare people who were honestly nice and for that he appreciate her presence. Oh and how could he forget about the other girl, the grumpy cat-like companion of the pink haired girl, she was one of the other rare type of people he appreciated , the ones who were honest to death. They were Mizi and Sua… He though, didn’t remember, he never was good with names although he knew them for 3 years…
This year was supposed to be like any other boring, predictable, perfectly planned he would be a valedictorian and would go to good, prestigious college probably study Law or something equally fancy. Ivan sighed at the thought of his perfect future, finally closing his void-like eyes and drifting to sleep.
He woke up as always no dreams, no comfort. Another meaningless day, just how longer till school finally starts? At least then he will have something to do with himself. Ivan lazily gets up and looks around his room. His eyes landing on a red jersey with number 70 on the back, one look is enough to remind him of school and give him the strength needed to leave his room. Outside in the cold depths of his „house” He doesn’t see Unsha or rather his father although the thought of ever calling him that filled Ivans mouth with unpleasant taste. White, sterile environment makes him feel cold and uneasy as he immediately regrets leaving his domain. Ugh now he really wishes he was back in school.