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Neil's knee would not stop bouncing. It bounced at double the speed of the ticking clock. As if that wasn’t enough, Neil’s eyes also darted around the room with alarming precision. From the door, to the window, to Andrew, and back to the door.
Andrew himself was on edge. Neil’s behaviour put Andrew’s instincts on high alert. He surveyed the dorm room like he was seeing it for the first time. The smell was that of three young athletes but masked with the lemon scented air freshener which Nicky dramatically sprayed when he came over.
Everything was normal. Neil had gone for his morning run and the foxes were scheduled for a practice later this evening. The calendar said it was a random Tuesday. The lunch special in the cafeteria was lasagna. It was a regular day.
Then Neil started to pick at his fingers violently. Andrew knew just how long Neil would need to keep this up to draw blood. He pushed back from his desk before that could happen. Andrew’s chair was on wheels so he came to a stop right in front of his idiot.
His idiot who was still staring at the locked window.
“Rabbit” Andrew barked.
Neil flinched. His gaze met Andrew’s apathetic expression head on.
“Something's wrong” Neil stated bluntly.
Andrew didn’t blink.
“No, there’s not”
Neil’s right hand stretched at the base of his neck and his left rubbed over his chest. His breathing picked up. At the rate of his breaths, Neil would pass out in exactly nine minutes.
“Yes there is!” Neil wheezed.
His pupils were blown and his eyes flickered from the window to the door at an alarming rate.
“Describe it” Andrew demanded.
“I- I don’t know” Neil was pulling desperately at the baby hairs on his neck. “It’s like- like a feeling I have” Neil seemed confused himself as his eyes caught on something on the floor.
Andrew glanced behind him. Neil was staring at his beat up, rip-off, Nike sneakers he bought at the second hand store against the entire team's advice. Andrew despised the shoes on sight. They were white and grey with bright orange accents. With the frequency Neil wore them, the shoes had become worn and the colours were faded and dull.
Still, the horrid shoes drug Neil out of bed early each morning and provided him with comfort Andrew could never provide.
“Maybe I should just-”
“No running. You promised”
Neil groaned as if Andrew had just denied him an orgasm instead of exercise.
“Yes or no?” Andrew asked.
Neil looked up at his boyfriend with uncertainty.
“Andrew, wh-”
“Yes or no?” Andrew repeated.
Neil deflated a little. “It’s always yes with you, Drew”
Andrew rolled his eyes but wrapped his hand loosely around Neil’s wrist and brought it to his chest. The fast beating of Andrew’s own pulse betrayed how not-normal he was about this entire situation.
The bedroom fell silent. Only Neil’s breathing and the ceiling fan assured Andrew that this was really happening. Neil’s eyes fell shut and his shoulders drooped.
“Your heart’s beating so fast” Neil said in a hushed whisper.
Andrew’s adams apple bobbed. “Junkie” he bit out.
Slowly, Neil’s breathing returned to normal. He yawned.
“Naptime” Andrew said without prompting.
Neil grumbled in protest. “M’ fine”
Andrew gritted his teeth. He gracefully jumped over Neil’s legs and gently pulled one of their many blankets up over them.
“Shut up”