Work Text:
The office was dimly lit, the only sound the faint hum of the city outside and the soft clink of glass as Emily poured another drink. The bottle of whiskey sat beside her, its amber contents reflecting the low light. She wasn't sure how many she'd had — the numbers blurred along with her thoughts.
She hit play on her phone, the familiar strum of Ed Sheeran's "Drunk" filling the room. The lyrics resonated with her more than they ever had before:
"I wanna be drunk when I wake up
On the right side of the wrong bed
And never an excuse I made up
Tell you the truth I hate..."
Each word seemed to echo her own turmoil. She had always been the composed one, the strong one. But tonight, the walls she'd built around her emotions were crumbling, and the song laid bare the rawness she had long suppressed.
Her thoughts drifted to JJ. Jennifer Jareau. The woman who had unknowingly captured her heart. The woman who had been her anchor, her confidante, her everything. And yet, Emily had kept her feelings hidden, buried beneath layers of professionalism and fear.
"But our house gets cold when you cut the heating
Without you to hold, I'll be freezing
Can't rely on my heart to beat it
'Cause you take part of it every evening..."
The lyrics hit too close to home. Emily had always found solace in JJ's presence. Her smile, her laughter, the way she cared so deeply for everyone around her. It was intoxicating, and Emily had fallen for her without even realizing it.
She took another sip, the warmth of the whiskey spreading through her chest, but it did little to quell the ache inside. The song continued, each line unraveling her further.
"Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love..."
Emily chuckled bitterly, the irony not lost on her. She had spent so many nights drowning her feelings in alcohol, hoping it would numb the longing, the desire, the love she felt for JJ. But it never did. It only made her more aware of the emptiness when JJ wasn't around. She closed her eyes, leaning back in her chair, letting the music wash over her. The song was a reflection of her own heartache, her own yearning. She had tried to move on, to suppress her feelings, but every glance, every touch from JJ reignited the flame she had tried to extinguish.
*"I wanna hold your heart in both hands
Not watch it fizzle at the bottom of a Coke can
And I got no plans for the weekend
So should we speak then She whispered the words under her breath, almost to herself, almost as if saying them out loud would make them real. “I want… I want you, JJ,” she murmured, letting the whiskey and the song carry the weight of her feelings.
Her head fell back against the chair, the soft hum of the city mingling with Ed’s voice. Each note felt like a heartbeat, each word like a lifeline to the woman she’d loved quietly for too long. The truth hit her full force: she was hopelessly in love with JJ.
"Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love..."
Emily’s fingers traced the rim of her glass, tapping lightly in time with the song. The words made her ache — ache for JJ’s smile, her warmth, her laugh, the small touches that had lingered in her memory for months, years even. Every time JJ looked at her, every time she had leaned just a little closer during a briefing or case, Emily had felt it — the pull, the tether, the undeniable connection that went beyond friendship.
She closed her eyes, swallowing hard, her lips trembling. “I… I think I’m in love with you, JJ,” she whispered into the empty office, letting the confession float up into the shadows around her. The lyrics swirled in her head again, echoing the vulnerability that had been building for so long:
"I get drunk on the thought of you..."
Her heart hammered. She could almost feel JJ there, standing beside her, seeing her, understanding. Emily wanted to call her, run to her, spill everything at once — but the fear clung too tightly. What if JJ didn’t feel the same? What if this broke everything between them? Still, she couldn’t stop thinking it. The words, the song, the pull of her heart all pointed in the same direction. She leaned back, letting the chair cradle her, and for a moment, she allowed herself to sink fully into the ache and the longing, the warmth of the whiskey and the melody filling the room like a soft embrace.
“I love you, JJ,” she whispered again, louder this time, the sound trembling in the quiet of the office. Her voice carried a promise and a plea, echoing alongside the music that had mirrored every heartbreak and hope she’d ever felt.
She didn’t know if JJ would ever hear it, but in this room, with the song pouring over her and the warmth of the alcohol loosening the walls she’d built around her heart, Emily finally admitted it — to herself, at least — that she had been in love with Jennifer Jareau for far too long to hide it any longer.
And as the chorus swelled again, Emily felt a tremor of courage stir inside her. Maybe, just maybe, the next time JJ was near, she wouldn’t keep it inside.
"Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love..."
Emily’s lips trembled as she whispered along with the song, letting it voice what she couldn’t say directly. The office felt smaller, safer, cocooned in shadows and music. Her heart ached with desire, with hope, with the terrifying beauty of finally admitting the truth to herself.
She tilted her head back, letting out a long, shuddering sigh. For the first time in a long time, Emily allowed herself to feel it fully — the longing, the love, the vulnerability she’d kept hidden. She didn’t know if JJ would ever know, if the timing would ever be right, but for this moment, drunk on whiskey and melody, Emily let herself live in the truth:
She was hopelessly, irrevocably in love with Jennifer Jareau.
The song wound down, and Emily stayed in her chair, swaying gently, letting the last notes echo in her chest. She knew the world outside would wait, but for now, she could sit in the warmth of her confession to herself, finally honest, finally raw, finally hers.
"Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love..."
And Emily let herself feel it, every last bit.