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The house was quiet tonight. The boys were at her mum’s, and for the first time in a long while, JJ found herself alone in the stillness. She sank into the couch, wrapping herself in a blanket, and let the silence envelop her. She needed this — the peace, the solitude, the space to breathe without the weight of expectations.
She reached for her phone and hit play on a playlist she hadn't visited in months. The soft strum of Ed Sheeran's “Give Me Love” filled the room, and JJ closed her eyes, allowing the music to wash over her.
“Give me love like her,
'Cause lately I've been waking up alone.”
The words struck a chord deep within her. Waking up alone. She hadn't realised how much she missed the warmth of another body beside her, the comfort of shared mornings and quiet conversations. She thought of Will, of their life together, and the gaping hole his absence had left in her heart.
But then, as the song continued, her thoughts shifted.
“Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt,
Told you I'd let them go.”
She remembered the nights she had spent crying, the pain of loss, the grief that had consumed her. But she had told herself she was healing, moving forward. She had to. For the boys. For the team. For herself.
Yet, as Ed's voice filled the room, she realised she hadn't let go. Not completely.
“And that I'll fight my corner,
Maybe tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood turns into alcohol.”
Her heart skipped a beat. She thought of Emily. Her partner in crime, her confidante, her friend. The one who had been there for her through it all. The one who had held her when she cried, who had made her laugh when she thought she couldn't.
JJ's breath caught in her throat. She had always admired Emily, respected her, loved her as a friend. But tonight, as the song played, she wondered if there was something more. Something deeper. Something she had buried beneath layers of grief and fear.
“No, I just wanna hold ya.”
The words were simple, but they resonated with a longing she hadn't acknowledged until now. She wanted to hold Emily. Not just as a friend, but as something more. She wanted to feel her warmth, her strength, her presence beside her.
“Give a little time to me, we'll burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek, to turn this around.”
JJ smiled softly. She and Emily had always had a playful dynamic, a teasing banter that made their partnership special. But now, she wondered if there was more to it. If their connection went beyond the professional, beyond the platonic.
“All I want is the taste that your lips allow.”
Her pulse quickened. The thought of kissing Emily, of feeling her lips against hers, was both thrilling and terrifying. She had never considered it before, never allowed herself to imagine it. But now, with the song playing and the house empty, the fantasy felt real.
“Give me love like never before.”
JJ's heart ached with the intensity of the desire she had denied for so long. She wanted love. Real love. The kind that made her feel alive, that made her feel seen and cherished. She wanted that with Emily.
“'Cause lately I've been craving more.”
She had been craving more. More than the quiet nights alone, more than the fleeting moments of connection. She wanted something lasting, something meaningful. She wanted it with Emily.
“And it's been a while but I still feel the same.”
The feelings hadn't faded. They had only grown stronger over time. JJ had tried to push them away, to convince herself they were just a passing infatuation. But deep down, she knew it was more than that.
“Maybe I should let you go.”
The thought terrified her. Letting go of Emily, of the possibility of something more, felt like losing a part of herself. But holding on to the fear, the uncertainty, was just as painful.
“You know I'll fight my corner.”
She would fight for this. For Emily. For the chance to explore what they could be together. She had fought for so much in her life; this was no different.
“And that tonight I'll call ya.”
She reached for her phone, her fingers trembling. She wanted to call Emily, to hear her voice, to bridge the distance between them. But the fear held her back. What if Emily didn't feel the same? What if this ruined everything?
“After my blood is drowning in alcohol.”
JJ chuckled softly, the irony not lost on her. She had always been the strong one, the composed one. But tonight, the vulnerability was overwhelming. The alcohol in her system, the emotions swirling within her, made everything feel more intense, more real.
“No, I just wanna hold ya.”
She wanted to hold Emily. She wanted to feel her arms around her, to find solace in her embrace. She wanted to stop pretending she didn't need it, didn't need her.
“Give a little time to me, we'll burn this out.”
She would take the time. She would be patient. She would let things unfold naturally, without forcing anything. But she wouldn't hide her feelings anymore.
“We'll play hide and seek, to turn this around.”
Maybe they would play games, tease each other, flirt. Maybe they would take it slow, let the tension build. But the game had changed. The stakes were higher now.
“All I want is the taste that your lips allow.”
She wanted it all. The kiss, the touch, the connection. She wanted to taste what it would be like to be with Emily, to explore the depth of their bond.
“Give me love like her.”
She wanted love. Real love. The kind that made her feel whole, made her feel alive. She wanted it with Emily.
“'Cause lately I've been waking up alone.”
And she didn't want to wake up alone anymore. She didn't want to face the world without someone by her side, someone who understood her, someone who loved her.
The song ended, but the feelings lingered. JJ sat in the silence, her heart racing, her mind spinning. She didn't know what the future held, didn't know if Emily felt the same. But for the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to hope.
Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for them. A chance to explore what they could be together.
And as she sat there, the empty house around her, she made a silent promise to herself.
She would find the courage to tell Emily. To let her know how she felt.
Because she couldn't keep pretending anymore.