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"I think I will go see the therapist you recommend"
Anko turned her head away from the pan to look at Iruka. A grin brightened her face quickly.
"What happended this time?" She asked well-aware of her best friend's hot temper and often heard his screaming at other jounins in ths mission room, but to be fair they were the most annoying ninjas there.
"I might have screamed at Hatake-san over nominations for chuunin exams." Anko snickered under her nose. "Hey! I still think they are not ready, but I admit I could have handle it better. It was kinda embarrassing..."
The jounin took the omelette off the fire then placed it on a plate and cut it with smooth movement into two pieces. She opened the cabinets in search of herbs to season their breakfast.
She knew her way around the chuunin's apartment. After all she slept over almost weekly or more when not on missions. And today wasn't an exception, Iruka was one of a few men she felt real comefortable with.
"I don't really know if she will help with your temper, but you should try." There was a short silence during which Anko placed breakfast on the table and handed fork to the man. "Especially after the incident with Mizuki" Iruka's face fell "you should really talk about him with someone, someone other than me I mean and someone who can help you better."
Iruka opened his mouth to speak "people from T&I doesn't count." Anko chuckled as he pressed his lips together.
"I know, I know that's why I want to at least try.."
With that hey started eating. He was grateful that the jounin cooked for him once in a while. She knew how good of a cook he was and was happy to help, she couldn't let her best friend live only off ramen and other take outs all his life. It made Iruka's heart squeeze, his relationship with food was... odd?
As a kid his fridge was almost always empty, which put him behind his classmates in a lot of activities. They had dinner waiting for them at home and he didn't even have good breakfast back when he was a child and teen. Then came the hokage, old man Hiruzen started inviting him for meals and cakes in his office. No one had ever done such a thing for him.
Since that day every food made especially for him, with or without an occasion made his chest tight and his heart full with gratitude. Anko knew that, she knew everything about him and he knew everything about her. Every little problem, every gossip or just literally anything. Sometimes Izumo and Kotetsu joined them on their sleepovers or night spent at a bar near the hokage's tower after their mission desk shifts.
"Do you still have the card I gave you? Or did you throw it away in anger?" The jounin smirked.
"Uhh.. I might have done that..." Iruka's stare made it's way to the half eaten omelette in embarrassment.
"I will write the adress down for you, you should really go, you know how much she helped me." Anko started chewing another piece. What she said was true, Doctor Shizuka, even though she was a civilian and had never been on a single mission, somehow understood her and helped her with trauma. Without her, Iruka, Izumo and Kotetsu she wouldn't have made it.
They were the ones she broke down to when she needed and now seeing Iruka in such a terrible state of mental health as she once had been was... destroying to say the least. The reasons for their breakdowns were different, but they both wanted to help each other as much as they could.
"I will go tomorrow and see if it's for me.."
"Of course it is, Ruru!" She laughed and patted his hair. They were truly like brother and sister, even without any blood relation.
<<____________________________________________>>
"I feel... more calm than usual?" Iruka blurted out as his friends smiled at him proudly and a little tipsy.
"To our Ruru and his new achievements!" Anko beamed and poured more sake into their glasses. All four of them at Iruka's table where there was an omelette that morning. It's been only a month since his first visit at Doctor Shizuka's office.
The first meetings were more awkward than not, but he grew more open every day. They started at his anger problems, relationship with Mizuki, Iruka bawled his eyes out for a good hour and a half, and ended at his parents, pranks and the Third Hokage.
The therapist recommend many useful 'hacks' that somehow made Iruka... calmer, one of them being 'putting everything it in the right order' and prescribes mild pills for his behavioral problems, but mostly his angerness was just a reaction he grew close to over the years and couldn't change that with in such a short time period.
He was always more of irrational and emotional human than shinobis were expected to. As the doctor adviced him he started meditations and tried control his body more which to Iruka's surprise started to work. He felt his chakra relax more often. Of course the nightmares and guilt still hunted him at dark times, but the moments of weakness became rarer.
"That's our Ru!" Izumo yelled as their glasses touched each other with a resonant click. Gods only know how much Iruka loved sake on no-school-next-morning nights.
Will he end up with a big headache because Anko and Izumo will probably convince him and Kotetsu for next drinking game? Maybe. His weekend shift at Hokage's tower didn't start until afternoon so he was safe. He was more worried about Izumo and his morning shift, but it wasn't a now problem so why bother.
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"IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP, RU!!" A familliar voice called as Iruka's eyes started to open to be met with a flash of sun light.
"Only five minutes, please Anko..." He groaned and hid face behind his hands.
"It's 1 pm, come on it's so pretty today! I already prepared your outfit for work and the others made breakfast when we were sleeping." Suddenly she was by the door to the hallway across the room. "I will heat it up and we will get going to your shift at the mission desk!" The jounin shouted as she left and closed door behind her.
After few moments Iruka started to get up, he slept in for too long already, but for some reason his head didn't hurt as much as he expected it to after all the sake last night.. or this morning? Well it didn't matter, the chuunin's eyes quickly found a pile of his uniform clothes.
Anko was really a life saver. They had a full hour before his shift started and he couldn't wait to see how Izumo was doing after their 'sleepover'. Kotetsu had a day off, but he wasn't in the apartment so he probably walked with his boyfriend to the hokage's tower, left him there to go to his own place and sleep more than he needed.
Iruka dressed with his hair still down and went to the kitchen to meet Anko and again an omelette. What was with his friends and the omelettes? He didn't even made it to the table when the woman asked.
"Can I do your hair today?" And who was Iruka to say no?
"What are you thinking?" He asked as he sat down and started eating.
"What about a single braid? Your hair is so good for this! Please?" She started making the puppy eyes no one could ignore and Iruka was no better.
"Fine, but don't make any strands get in my eyes."
"Aye aye capitan!.. oh do you need to take your pills today?"
"Not today, I will test if all that meditations and 'hacks' actually work." Anko smlie couldn't be wider.
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Saturday was not the slowest day at the mission desk, but Iruka could manage. It was 7 pm and he yelled only two times, which was necessary to put a few jounins in their place. He only screamed at them when the most ugliest smile he could manage and harshest words in calm tone didn't work so it was in fact necessary.
When he was certain he was going to burst out and his chakra was buzzing he started to look for perfectly arranged things. Which to his surprise worked and actually helped him. One; pens to his right on the desk, two; bracelet on his wrist, three; the two stamps on his left, repeat.
Iruka was also very sure some of the ninjas in the office were gossiping about his new hair style. Someone also mentioned diffrent placement of his forehand protector, which was tied loosly around his neck.
"Looking good today, sensei" Genma grined down at him and handed his report. The chuunin looked up and smiled. Behind Genma's head he could see a gray hair and he exactly knew who it was. This was going to be interesting evening, he will have to hold back his anger just for the look of the nin's face. 'This will be satisfying as help.'
"Thank you, Genma-san" Iruka said lightly, but as opened the scroll his smile died down quickly. "I cannot accept this, the handwriting is unreadable, please redo and come back."
"Come on, sensei! Just this once!" He pleaded, but Iruka didn't back down.
"If you can't inprove your hand-writing bribe someone to rewrite the mission report for you. Someone over there will be very happy to help." He pointed at the last desk in the room, handed the scroll back and shouted before Genma could protest. "Next!"
Kakashi stepped closer to the desk, a report in hand and getting ready to make Iruka crazy mad again even though it was only two days single mission.
Their only interactions were in the mission room and one at the nominations for chuunin exams, which Iruka apologised to him about. He confessed that he still thought it was a bad decision, but his words and tone were inappropriate, to that Kakashi said sorry about his speech as well, but he still maintained that they should take the exam and it was his decision to make. Then they parted diffrent ways and now they met again after almost a week.
"Welcome home, Hatake-san" Iruka smiled at him, one of his sweet smiles. Oh he knew what he was doing. The Copy-nin locked stares with him and his eyes widened.
The chuunin looked absolutely diffrent, a good diffrent. His hair in a braid resting on his left shoulder on the green uniform. Next to it the headband with symbol of Kohona hung around his neck.
Kakashi's breathing hitched for a moment or two. Suddenly all Iruka's features hit him like never before. His eyes moved from shiny, maybe biteable neck to not the sharpest but still sharp for a teacher jaw, next to the full lips now formed into simple smile, up from them was nose and cheeks decorated with a long scar. And finally he moved his stare at beautiful, big and a little confused dark brown eyes.
Gods, he could really fall in love right then and there, but love was a dangerous game for a shinobi. He wanted to see Iruka saying 'welcome home' in a completely different place.
"Hatake-san?" Iruka called and Kakashi snapped to reality. "Do you have a scroll to turn in?"
"Yes, of course." he gave the chuunin a little wet paper "Here."
Umino promised himself this morning he wouldn't be angry and he genuinely couldn't be, he just wanted to laugh his ass off, maybe make fun of Hatake for the test of his life. The report was wet, badly written AND ugly written where he could actually read it, all three in one, which was quite rare. The jounin was really breaking records.
"I can not accept this report, it's wet, mostly unreadable and where I can read it, it's horrible." Iruka stated calmly, he felt everyone staring.
The Copy-nin always pushed his buttoms at the desk no matter what day it was or how it was going, so everyone always watched to see what Kakashi did this time.
"Come on, sensei I was in the Land of Water! And it was a short mission so I didn't fill out everything, easy." Kakashi said, not even metioning his hand-writing because it was just always like this. Iruka just smiled.
"Get yourself a new clear one so it won't be a wet mess."
'I can make you into a wet mess..' Kakashi thought, definitely not listening already, instead remembering one of Icha Icha scene he read on his way back.
"Fill out every part even if it will be just one sentence and put more effort into your hand-writing I'm very certian it will help. If not please ask one of the workers at the last table to help." The tone was so calm, too calm it snapped Kakashi once again to reality, Iruka was enjoying the shock of everyone and was proud of himself. The look on Kakashi's face was in fact priceless as he expected it to be.
"Just accpect it, sensei so we can part ways." Kakashi put his hand on the table, not hard nor with much noise, but hard enough to show his higher rank. He didn't like doing that, but he just wanted to get home already, as quick as possibile.
One of the pens almost felt down on to the floor, but Iruka caught it just in time, gently and slowly, trying not to let anger get the best of him, put it back in the exact same spot as it laid before, took a long breath, equalized the pens in line then looked at the bracelet, stamps, pens repeat.
"Hatake-san," he finally spoke after a few moments "as one of the best shinobis in our village you should set an example for others." his was tone serene, but somewhat demanding "What you show here is your ignorance towards others with lower rank than yourself, that means almost everyone here may I add, which is not what a legendary ninja as yourself should not be doing. Please put as much effort into writing reports as you put into completing missions and let everyone do their work in peace. Thank you for your service, come back with a clear report." He handed back the messy paper and waited, eyes fixed on shinobi right in front of him.
Kakashi stared stunned, the teacher was suppose yell at him with a cute blush not diplomatically defeat him with words. (But gods this was even better) He knew he wasn't the only one surprised, everyone had almost the same expression on their face. Only Iruka smiled lighly, a proud feeling again warming his heart so strong all annoyance left his body in the process. With that came sweet smile that almost made the copy-nin fall off his feet.
"Yes, Iruka..." He said breathlessly and the chuunin flashed light pink, but for the first time today not from anger. Kakashi had never said his name alone, not like that. Always the 'sensei' followed behind.
"Here..." He gave the scroll back not making eye contact, but he could feel the copy-nin staring as he accepted defeated and walked away. "Next!"
"Well that was epic!" Everyone looked again at where the voice was coming from, which happended to be just in front of Iruka. Again. "Good job, Ru." The smile on her face brighted the room.
"Thank you, Anko, but why are you here exactly...?" The chuunin made a confused look. "We saw each other like few hours ago."
"To turn in a late report, I worked on it really hard this time!" She made a proud face as he opened the scroll and scanned the words. It was very neatly written, for Anko at least, every section filled with three sentence or more, it wasn't wet nor dirty. Iruka stared some more. Not that his best friend wrote horrible reports, but also not that good either, it was... weird?
"I wrote it by myself, promise!" Her arms went into the air in defense. Everyone's eyes left them by now, because they knew about their strong relationship that started when they were kids, only one single eye behind Genma in line to the last desk stayed.
"Good job then, Ko-chan." Iruka couldn't help, but call her that and show one of his sweetest smiles this one more genuine (which the single eye did not miss), his sister could do great if she tried he knew that and was proud of her, as she was proud of him for controlling his anger. The nickname made her even more happy then she already was before.
"And I'm surprised your braid is still in good shape after all those hours."
"You made it after all, I didn't expect anything else." The jounin laughed. "Do you want some tea after my shift?"
"Will you make an infusion with your special leaves?" A little hand gestures followed the words.
"Sure, now get out of my line, there are people waiting." Iruka giggled and stamped the report. "See you later!"
The little laughing did not escape listening ears, one covered by the black material of hitai-ate.
It took almost a little more than ten minutes for Kakashi to come back in Iruka's line. He bribed one of the chuunins to write what he said, because his writting wouldn't get better fast enough and he didn't want to waste time.
"Welcome back again, Hatake-san." Iruka took the scroll from him and opened it carefully. He almost didn't want to look, the copy-nin never did what he asked him to do. Well at least this time there wasn't water driping down.
"It won't bite, promise sensei!" The chuunin glared at him before looking at the report again. It was actually readable. Wow. He recognized one of the workers' writing, at least he got paid, Iruka hoped.
Doing only low ranked missions wasn't something a person could live off so many of the same rank as him have to take another job for the money. He hoped Hatake paid Hiruko well.
"This one is way better, keep it up." He stamped the paper, put it away and looked up again, locking eyes with the jounin. His stare was... hopefull? Like he was waiting for something to happen. "Thank you for your work, Hatake-san."
Kakashi didn't move an inch. He was waiting for something he couldn't quite place, a smile he wanted to catch with his sharingan to never forget, maybe sweet laugh he heard a little while ago that was still ringing in his ears. Oh gods he was already too far gone, there was no coming back.
"Ahem" he heard Iruka cough and he snapped back to reality for the third time this afternoon. Was he really losing his normal train of thoughts around this man? "Would you like to join me and Anko for tea today? I can make something special..."
The chuunin sounded far too clam for how he felt, his heart was beating way too fast and he could feel how hot his face was. He didn't plan on saying that. He was thinking about, yes, but saying that out loud, oh gods he was ruined. 'Hatake-san will say I'm crazy, I swear to gods, why can't I keep my mouth shut for at least one moment...-'
"Sure." Iruka's eyes widened. What. "See you then, sensei!" He was so screwed.
"Next!" Iruka said loudly after moment of hesitation.
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"Do you have any particular dislikes in flavors, Hatake-san?" Iruka asked as they entered the living room to see Anko already resting on the floor next to the small table.
The walk from Hokage tower was more relaxing than the chuunin would have guessed it would be. The soft conversation never ended the whole way to the apartment, he also saw the quick glances Kakashi gave him from time to time. They were making him feel all fuzzy and warm inside, even though he didn't want to know why.
"I'm not really big on anything sweet and just Kakashi please." The jounin gave him an one eyed smile as he sat down next to Anko.
"Alright then Kakashi-san." He turned to his best friend " your usual?"
"You know it! I missed your drinks so much." She beamed as Iruka laughed and went to the kitchen.
"What's your usual?" Hatake turned to look at the woman next to him.
"Mint, tulsi, a little bit of mango and sugar, though it's only may I don't know if Iruka has it all right now... He might have been to the markt for some." Kakashi made a confused face "Sometimes Iruka sneak something new and I try to guess. You should try guessing yours."
"My.. tea? Like what kind of tea..?" The copy-nin tone showed all his uncertainty now.
"Well it's more like a infusion with herbs... I wonder what you will have, you have to let me taste! Though I'm more into sweet things, you know. Gods I have to get dango tomorrow!"
"If you would let me taste yours."
"I don't think you will like it, but deal! Oh we should drink Iruka's as well," Iruka walked into the room holding three mugs, one with '#1 SENSEI' in big letters and two with small and big dolphins, the bigger one for Anko. "Speak of the devil!"
"Here you go, your favorite mug" the chuunin placed the brew in front of the snake ower on the kotatsu. 'She must come here often' Kakashi commented in his head, but only stared. "And this one is for you, Kakashi-san. I don't know if you like-"
"Shhh! I told him we will guess!" Iruka chuckled, Hatake tried memoriesing the sound again, a sharingan ear would be quite useful right now. He could have recorded the dark of his hitai-ate and the sound, but he decided there might be a better opportunity later.
"Okay then," Iruka said and sat down with Anko in front of him and Kakashi on his left.
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The rest of the evening went fine, to Iruka's surprise Kakashi's sense of smell and taste were better than he imagined them to be. He managed to guess his drink's two ingredients; sage and marigold and one from Iruka's drink's; melissa.
The conversation was endless, they jumped from one thing to another. For one day having the sliver-headed jounin around wasn't ending with anger and annoyance and for once his presence felt almost... comfortable? The thing he didn't know he needed, but at the same time felt craving all his life.
After two hours Anko started to get up and went towards the door. "I have a mission tomorrow, I forgot!" She announced, the teacher knew she was lying, but let it slide for now.
"Make a mission report as good as that one from today!"
When he came into the kitchen he caught Kakashi starting to wash the mugs.
"Oh stop it, you are a guest! Go sit down, I will take care of it." Iruka frowned and took the cup from the nin's hands as he stood right next to him. Their fingers brushed and two hearts skipped a beat at the same time.
"Okay, okay" Hatake said leaning on the countertop beside watching the tanned hands with visible small scars against water. He wanted to kiss every one of those little white crooked lines instead words came out of his mouth. "Do you have more dolphins mugs?"
Iruka laughed, actual genuine laugh. "Maybe six or seven more, kids like to give them as a gift, I think I have everything with dolphin around the rooms, I even have a cute frame with dolphins around it! It got kinda boring over time, but seeing their excited faces is worth it everytime, I can't bring myself to throw them away, plus most are practical." Kakashi hummed in response and his eyes met Iruka's braid again.
He wanted to reach out, touch the dark brown hair and undo the style, he wanted to run his hand through them and comb them softly until there are no tangles. Maybe plant a few kisses here and there if the teacher let him. He would do a lot of things, if only Iruka let him.
"Can I touch your hair?" The words left his mouth without a second thought, which wasn't like him at all. The chuunin turned to him, his eyes widened as he put the last mug on dish dryer. "I-.. I mean like brush it you know, they look soft and shiny.."
Iruka's still wet hand took his and dragged him to the living room they saw Anko not so long ago. "Sit here, I will be right back." Then he was gone and Kakashi was left standing with no train of thoughts next to the kotatsu.
Not even a minute later chuunin returned with a blue comb in hand and settled down in front of already waiting jounin.
A hint of hesitation rashed through Kakashi's body, it felt almost intimate and at the same time felt like something he wanted,.. needed to do. Besides he asked and Iruka agreed there was no backing down now.
Do he took the hair tie out and brushed his fingers against brown strands of hair, they felt soft under his rough hand. The comb quickly came to action. "Sorry I didn't wash them recently, they may be a little..."
"It's not a problem." He cut the other off and they fell into comfortable silence, each subsequent move less and less awkward until the movements became natural, started to feel like home.
The thought made Kakashi want to flicker, but he was too train to move that way anymore. Instead he continued combing, until there was nothing left to brush out.
Iruka relaxed under careful touches, all the tension from before now simply gone. All the world around was gone, only thing he felt was Kakashi behind him, his warmth and attentive care. Then the jounin got carried away and his dry, bare lips fell down to meet head with a bit greasy hair.
Iruka's heart failed him for a quick moment, but he came back to normal beat fast. In his head he thanked the therapist for all the control tricks she had taught him. He needed answers before freaking out, he needed to know what Kakashi meant, he needed to know what Kakashi wanted.
His hand grabbed silver hair and pulled it back as he turned around to face the other man, their lips only centimeters apart. He felt the copy-nin's breath hitching and then even out again as they maintained eye contact.
"What is it that you want, Kakashi?" He asked, his tone maybe a little too formal, he played out the sentence in his head over ten times before actually saying it out loud.
A hint of determination flashed in Kakashi's eye, a fast, barely noticeable change, but Iruka caught it nonetheless. "You. I want you, Iruka. You are what I desire."
'Desire...' The chuunin echoed in his head as their lips met in soft and slow kiss.
The tenderness felt in every movement of their mouths,
The sweetness felt everytime Iruka's palm brushed through gray hair,
The affection felt when Kakashi's palm touched Iruka's chest,
The union of their bodies felt when their breaths mixed into one familliar scent of herbs from ealier were the greatest feelings they ever experienced.
When they finally pulled away the taller man murmured only one word "Chrysanthemums..." Iruka spotted the rubin sharingan open, blinked twice and giggled into the air right in front of Kakashi's lips.
"Yes, chrysanthemums were the other ingredient." And then their faces met once more.