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Dormitory life was not easy.
Everyone was required to use an inhibitor patch, covering their scent glands to prevent anyone from knowing their secondary gender.
They were required to take heat and rut suppressants, not making a way for primal instincts to ruin their dream of becoming a star.
Alpha, beta, omega; all were left behind the moment they joined the show. What mattered were the stars.
One star, two stars, three stars.
The stars stick to them. A label.
And for Kim Junmin, the stars shaped him.
He was strong when he had three. Fierce. Unbeatable.
And now that he had two–the lowest when there were no longer ones, he deemed himself unworthy.
He couldn’t look up. Couldn’t look at the trainers as he danced.
His body was used to the moves. One with the melody. In sync with the beats.
But his head was all over the place. Anywhere. Anywhere but here.
The moment the music stopped, he wished the ground could swallow him whole.
Praises. Praises for his teammates. They deserved.
And then,
“It was a shame,” said one of the trainers. Breaking the praise chains. “During the last mission, we all agreed that Junmin was the best. But today just felt a bit lacking.”
Of course he was lacking. He lost a star.
“You looked like you lost your confidence,” said another trainer.
He lost a star.
“You keep looking down today. Why?”
He lost a star.
“For the first time,” Junmin started, swallowing the last remaining scraps of pride and the urge to shed a tear. “I got to perform with very strong friends.”
Weak. He was weak.
“I didn’t even realize but I think I felt pressured and became passive,” he said. Not looking up. Couldn’t.
“You think you’re not on the same level with them?”
No.
“I had to be honest with you. If I had to vote for one person, I would have voted for you. Only you.”
But I lost a star…
“If you don’t believe in yourself, how can I believe in you?”
Junmin felt like breaking down. And before he was aware of what was happening to himself, his hand instinctively reached to wipe the tears away from his face. He was crying. In front of everyone.
And instead of feeling ashamed, he felt freed. Seen.
He would forever be grateful for the hug he received and the supports that followed after. The trainers. His teammates. They didn’t think of him any less for missing a star.
For the first time in a long while that night, Junmin looked at the mirror and didn’t loathe himself for the empty space once occupied in his nametag.
He danced. Practicing again and again. Confidence growing each time the song got replayed.
The shooting crew packed up and left. His teammates bid goodbyes. But Junmin stayed in the practice room, not even looking at the time and just kept moving with his newfound strength.
It was way past midnight when he suddenly felt it.
It came out of nowhere. The pain and the cold sweat.
It was not uncommon for an omega to have irregular heats during distress. Junmin had regularly taken his suppressants. But with the stress and pressure he had been under lately, he wasn’t even surprised that his heat stubbornly came despite the strong suppressants.
He was being too hard on himself, he was aware. It almost felt like his body was protesting without even knowing that he had already made peace with himself.
With all the strength he could muster, Junmin crawled to sit in a corner where the 24 hours camera couldn’t spot him. Praying with all his heart that this helpless sight of him wouldn’t get aired.
He hugged his legs. Shivering. Unsafe.
He could smell his scent seeping out; his inhibitor patch could no longer mask. Hugging his legs tighter, he wished the first person to find him would be someone he could trust.
He couldn’t save himself. Not in this state. Months of going on suppressants resulted in an intense heat. The first time Junmin ever felt like this.
Junmin didn’t know how long time had passed, but he knew his prayers were answered the moment he saw Sangwon.
They weren’t close, but his instinct told him that Sangwon was safe.
“Hyung?” Sangwon called, voice careful not to startle him.
Which Junmin kind of found funny–and endearing, because the one looking entirely surprised was Lee Sangwon himself.
Rather than Junmin’s vulnerable state, what truly shocked him seemed to be discovering that Kim Junmin was an omega.
“Are you okay?” Junmin rasped out.
Sangwon gasped and finally got over his shock. Rushing to Junmin with worry written all over his face. “That should be my line,” he protested. Kneeling in front of him. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t feel great,” he admitted. Cold. He felt cold. He wished Sangwon would hold him. That part remained unsaid.
“Did you not..” Sangwon halted. Hesitated. Then in a much smaller voice asked, “..take your heat suppressants?”
“I did,” Junmin said. Taking a shaky breath before adding, “I think I need a higher dose prescribed.”
Sangwon frowned. Obviously not liking the idea.
Junmin had been religiously taking suppressants before even joining the show. This might’ve been his first heat in almost a year. But he decided Sangwon didn’t need to know that. What he needed to know, though, was, “I think I need a nest.”
He needed to feel safe.
“I will build you a nest,” Sangwon said. Not even an offer. A statement.
Junmin could feel his heart flutter. Especially when Sangwon asked, “Can I help you up?”
Not trusting his mouth to speak, Junmin nodded.
Sangwon’s touch was gentle. Careful not to hurt him as he helped him up. Holding him close as he guided him toward the nearest emergency care room.
The emergency care rooms were scattered everywhere in the shooting area. Their dorms, practice rooms, even backstage. Just in case something like this happens.
And since they were not allowed their phones, every room was equipped with an emergency call button as well.
Sangwon didn’t even pay the slightest bit of attention to the red, very obvious, emergency button on the wall. He just locked the door, gently guiding Junmin to lay on the bed, and making it unmistakably apparent that it was his job to take care of him. Building a nest with blankets and pillows surrounding his hyung.
“Do you feel safe?” Sangwon asked after making sure that Junmin was warm.
Junmin nodded. But his expression looked a little troubled. The slight frown and twitch of his nose after trying to snuggle the blanket was all that it took for Sangwon to throw the last ounce of hesitation away and ask, “Do you want my scent?”
He didn’t know what had gotten into him, but all he knew was that he felt protective toward this man in front of him. And the most surprising thing was, this wasn’t the first time. It simply wasn’t because of the pheromones.
At first, Sangwon thought it was just simple adoration.
Kim Junmin was a good performer. Powerful dance with a face like that? Every omega would’ve gotten swayed. On the stage, every inch of Kim Junmin had screamed alpha.
Then they got into a team. And Sangwon realized that he just.. wanted him. Wanted his eyes on him. Wanted to hear his laughter at something he said. Wanted to hear his praise at something he did.
When he saw him crying at the practice room, Sangwon wanted to hold him. Needed. He needed to hold him.
It was attraction in its truest form, apart from pheromones and all that.
And now that Sangwon was exposed to the fact that Junmin, too, was an omega like him, his yearning didn’t fade.
Instead, it grew.
The air was thick with the intoxicating lush of tuberose. A dangerously alluring sweetness that made Sangwon want to curl up next to Junmin and just bask himself in his scent.
It took everything in him to not give in to his primal instinct and stayed in his place.
“If you don’t mind,” Junmin’s answer came after a long hesitation. He looked guilty. Like he was asking for too much of Sangwon.
So without another word, Sangwon took off his inhibitor patch. Letting his pheromones explain for him.
Arousal. But on top of that, a heavy scent of possessiveness that seemed to catch Junmin off guard.
This kind of possessiveness... for a fellow omega? Junmin couldn’t wrap his head around it.
Sangwon rubbed a part of the blanket against his scent gland before carefully offering it to Junmin. Warm sandalwood. Junmin unconsciously nuzzled his cheek against the fabric, letting out a soft happy whimper. Now this. This smelled right.
“Fuck,” Sangwon cursed under his breath. Making Junmin look up. Suddenly alerted that he might’ve crossed a line.
But Sangwon’s face was…
Before Junmin could even analyze his expression, Sangwon asked, “Do you want me in your nest?”
“Hyung, please tell me you want me in your nest,” Sangwon said. Voice almost breaking. “I need to hold you. Please please.”
Junmin held his gaze. Despite being the one not in heat, Sangwon looked like he was suffering much more than Junmin himself.
And so Junmin returned the question, “Do you want to get into my nest?”
“Yes,” Sangwon breathed out. Not even a pause. “Can I?”
Junmin swore he could feel his cheeks getting warm. “Please,” he said. Shyly making some space.
Sangwon didn’t waste his time and immediately crawled up the bed. Lying next to the tuberose omega before pulling him straight into his arms.
Junmin instinctively buried his face in the crook of his neck. Nuzzling against his scent gland and letting out more of those contented whimpers.
“You like my scent, hyung?” Sangwon asked. Placing a kiss on the crown of Junmin’s head before baring his neck for more access.
Junmin pulled away slightly to look at him. “Do you like mine?” he asked back. He was no longer shivering. Face looking much more relaxed than when Sangwon had first found him.
Instead of giving a direct answer, Sangwon gently peeled off Junmin’s broken inhibitor patch and caressed his gland gently with his thumb. “What do you think?” he whispered, replacing his thumb with his lips.
The room was thick with their scent. Heady tuberose steadied by the warmth of sandalwood; one bloomed wild whilst the other grounded it. None fight for dominance. Scents sinking into perfect balance as if their pheromones had always been meant to find each other.
Safe. Junmin felt safe.
He shuddered when Sangwon nibbled on his neck.
“That’s dangerous,” he scolded. Not doing anything to stop him anyway. Neck bared like he was ready to be claimed.
“Do you know how good you smell right now, hyung?” Sangwon asked between soft kisses, breath warm against his skin.
Junmin moaned and bared his neck even more. Hand clutching on Sangwon’s arm. “How good?” he asked. Almost demanding.
“So fucking good,” Sangwon said.
Junmin burst out in laughter and reached to tangle his fingers in Sangwon’s hair. “Is that how you talk to your elder?”
“If you don’t like it, you can shut me up.” Sangwon challenged. Pulling away completely to look at Junmin. Trying to play it cool even when his eyes gave it away that he was desperate for a kiss.
Junmin looked into his eyes. Analyzing. Then as he finally cupped his chin and leaned closer, Sangwon closed his eyes only to have Junmin’s lips landing on his forehead.
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Junmin said. Giving no room to argue as he rolled away to reach for the medical kit on the bedside table.
For Junmin to feel a lot better physically just by having Sangwon next to him spoke volumes. If there were no mutual attractions, their pheromones would’ve clashed. He wouldn’t have smelled good. His body would’ve rejected Sangwon just by being there.
But this… attraction was newfound information. To both of them. And although not nonexistent, an omega being with another omega was not a common occurrence. They would’ve needed to think things through. Not in this situation.
Junmin didn’t want this to be just a mere fling.
And looking at the way Sangwon’s pheromones responded to him, it also seemed like he didn’t have any plan in letting go of Junmin anytime soon.
Sangwon didn’t say a thing as he watched Junmin injecting himself with a suppressant. It wouldn’t fully stop the heat now that his cycle had started, but it was enough to dull the symptoms. Worked faster than pills.
Sangwon understood and just spread his arms when Junmin was done. “Come here,” he said. Holding him close once Junmin settled back in his embrace. “Your self-control is scaring me.”
Junmin only chuckled and snuggled closer. “Guess you need to sleep with blue balls.”
“Hyung, I am leaking,” Sangwon emphasized. “It’s literally flooding down there.”
Oh, Junmin knew. He, too, was all wet with slick.
Call him a romantic, but he didn’t want their first time to be like this.
He pulled away to look up at Sangwon. Asking, “Am I that hot?”
And without hesitation, Sangwon answered, “Fucking hot.”
Junmin had been the one teaching Sangwon how to curse for their performance. It was in the lyrics and Sangwon looked shy whenever he had to say it! Junmin had shown him the proper way. Also telling him not to feel bad for cursing in front of him to practice.
Who knew that Sangwon had taken his words to heart?
“Fucking hot, huh?” Junmin raised his brows.
“Yeah,” Sangwon said. Face turning serious when he said, “And you dance so fucking good.”
Junmin’s eyes softened at his words.
“You look so fucking good even with sweat all over your face, I kept getting distracted during practice.” Sangwon reached to brush strands of hair away from Junmin’s face. “You’re so.. so, so good, hyung. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”
Sangwon meant every word. And Junmin could feel it just by the way he looked at him. “I’m looking,” Junmin joked to lighten up the mood. Looking at his reflection in Sangwon’s eyes.
“Keep looking,” Sangwon ordered. Determined. “Whenever you don’t feel good enough, search for yourself in my eyes.”
Junmin tilted his head. Holding back a smile as he asked, “Will your eyes tell me that I’m fucking good when I don’t feel good enough?”
“They’ll tell you you’re the fucking best,” Sangwon promised.