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Another wonderful day in The Solar System, such a beautiful day since all the drama supposedly has ended.
Unless you’re Earth.
There’s never any peace for him.
Just another restless night, he was trying to get some sleep but he couldn’t. Just another one of those days—Days where everything just hurt.
Well, that was every day actually.
Only, today it had felt almost unbearable, it wasn’t allowing him to sleep. What are they doing to him now?
Who even cares at this point.
The real question is what aren’t they doing to him?
Earth heavily sighed, head resting in his arms as he continued to lay. The other Rocky Planets had come by earlier to ask to play cards but he declined, he really didn’t feel like playing. Mars had been concerned for him and offered to stay but Earth didn’t want him too—He just wanted some alone time to himself.
But maybe he should have taken that offer, being alone wasn’t usually good for him. Almost every single time he’s been on his own, those damn hallucinations would start, usually to tell him he should kill himself—So annoying.
He felt the familiar gravitational pull of his own moon.
“Hello, Earth!”
What the hell?
Luna’s voice sounded higher…More feminine. Perhaps today was a “Girl day” as Luna referred to them, those were kinda rare.
“…Hey…” Earth mumbled, still resting his heads in his arms.
“That’s rude, Earth! It’s been such a long time since we last spoke! And I thought that last time you were rude when you were too busy giving Mars the time of his existence!”
Wait, what?
Earth lifted his head up at his grinning moon—Who was dressed in gothic lolita fashion complete with heavy dark makeup and two buns under a black veil hat. Same green and blue eyes except now with black sclera.
Earth smiled, he knew exactly who it was.
“Hello, Lilith.”
Lilith clasped her hands together, “Hello my dear planet! It’s been so long!!! I’m so happy to see you again for about three days!” She giggled, twirling herself about—Lilith has a more bubbly personality compared to Luna, it always made Earth feel better.
Lilith got close—Really close to Earth’s face, “SO!!! What have you been up to? Any cool gossip?”
Earth raised an eyebrow as he gently pushed her away with his own gravity, “Luna didn’t tell you?”
Lilith scoffed, “Those idiots never tell me anything! Actually, I don’t even think Luna knows who I am!”
“Luna and Blue?”
“…Yes, Luna and Blue.” Lilith was half lying, she actually had no idea who the heck this “Blue” was, she only knew about Luna and Dark—Neither one of them seem to know anything about her!
“Well, I guess I can fill you in then.” Earth lied on his back, “Get comfy because this shit escalated so fast!”
“I heard about your…attempt.” Lilith said quietly, “The Moon Revolution from Luna’s little journal and the trials, what happened after?”
Earth grimaced, “That’s exactly how it all escalated. So you see, Ganymede and Europa got banished—”
“Ha! Serves them right!” Lilith crossed her arms with pride.
“Shut up, I’m not done.” Earth narrowed his eyes, he hates being interrupted. “So anyway, the moons were outraged and gathered us to confront The Sun so that he’d let those two little shits back in, me being one of the main ones to agree with this uproar.”
Lilith’s jaw dropped, “Are you fucking serious!? Why would you let them back in?!” She sounded pissed. “I cannot believe you, Earth!”
“It was the right thing to do, Lilith!”
Her face read as baffled, “Fuck that shit! Did they even apologize?” She shouted. Earth paused, “…No but,” he sighed, “I honestly don’t care about that.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “DON’T CARE?! THESE ARE YOUR EARTHLINGS!!!”
Earth scoffed, “Earthlings who don’t even treat me right.”
“Earth…”
He cut her off, “No, Lilith! It’s true, most of them just don’t give a fuck!” He crossed his arms, “Sometimes…Sometimes I really lose hope in them and I want them gone already!” His voice broke. “You have no idea how it feels! It feels like they’re all just taking advantage of me!”
“You…You wanted them to kill your Earthlings?!” Lilith put her hands over her mouth, “Earth, why?!”
“Well at that time I didn’t want them to die! They’re innocent fragile little beings!” Earth looked at the palm of his hand, “I just…It’s just that sometimes I wish that they had succeeded! And I certainly don’t want Luna to know that, or Mars…Or anyone really, they wouldn’t understand. No one could…” He trailed off, eyes looking back at Lilith who just stared silently.
Earth realized what he was saying and looked away, “Erm…Yeah so anyway, they came back with a new friend!”
“Oh stars,” Lilith groaned, “Don’t change the subject!”
“Drop it, Lilith.” Earth furrowed his eyebrows, “I told you, I don’t want to discuss that.” He crossed his arms. “You asked me what happened lately so I’m going to tell you!”
Lilith groaned again, “Always repressing…”
Earth cleared his throat, “So yeah, Ganymede and Europa brought back a friend named X—Such a ridiculous name in my opinion—Anyway, so he came in and revealed that apparently, Jupiter ejected him and also killed baby rocky planets!”
“What the fuck?”
Earth nodded, “Yeah! Exactly! Crazy shit!” He sat back up, “Then The Sun made the idiotic decision of banishing Jupiter which disrupted everything!” Earth spoke quickly and made gestures with his hands to express just how insane this was. “So then we asked if he could come back, but you know how he is! He’s a crazy ass dictator piece of shit loser of a plasma ball, pathetic poor excuse of a star!”
Lilith laughed, “Damn, Earth! You really had to clock him like that?”
“He deserves it!” Earth crossed his arms, “That fucker wouldn’t listen to us and was gonna just act like Planet X’s bitch and do what he asked!”
Lilith wheezed, “OH MY STARS!” She grabbed at her stomach, “MY SIDES!!! AHA!!! PLANET X’s BITCH!!!” She continued howling in laughter.
“Yeah! For a star, he’s not really bright…” Earth shook his head, “So then Ganymede, the same guy who challenged The Sun which got him banished, he then challenged Planet X!”
“Oh my stars…”
“Yeah! So it was every fucking moon—So pretty much all of Saturn’s—Vs Planet X in a race around The Solar System. He was about to win when one of Jupiter’s itty bitty moons came out of nowhere and stole the victory, we were all cheering in awe when The Sun spoiled the fun by slapping the shit out of us with his gravity—What the fuck is his problem!?”
“I have no clue.” Lilith shrugged, “So then what happened?”
“Well, then it was a trivia challenge and he won because it was rigged!” He paused, “…And then revealed that apparently everyone kept a secret from me about a collision…Uh…Anyway! Then came the tiebreaker, the ultimate showdown!” Earth put his hands together and grinned mischievously. “We got Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the genie! Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader!”
Lilith put her head in her heads, “NOOO!!! STOP.”
But Earth kept on, “Lo-Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger!”
“I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE REFERRING TO!!!”
“Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan! Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan! They all came out of nowhere lightning fast and kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass, it was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw with civilians looking on in total awe!” Earth finally finished and flashed a grin. Lilith was unamused, “Are you done?”
“Yep! So The Moons had to play dodgeball against Planet X because The Sun’s an idiot and of course the game was rigged again! He beat up all of the major moons and then got talked down too by a small child and he ran off crying and just left us there to deal with the mess he made, goddamn homewrecker…” Earth rolled his eyes, “Then Uranus’ Gay ass threw a tantrum and went to get the milk—By milk, I mean Planet X—So then Jupiter had to go after him. And my friends were mad at me, even my own boyfriend got upset with me! So I chased after Jupiter which caused everyone else to follow me and then I almost fucking died again.” Earth smiled, “And that’s pretty much it!”
Lilith looked back as she tried to process everything.
“…Wow…Just…Wow…”
“I told you! A lot happened!”
“I was not expecting this. I thought the tea was gonna be something like someone was getting a divorce. Or that Venus and Mercury were getting back together!”
Earth raised an eyebrow, “Back together? They literally hate each other!”
Lilith laughed, “Oh, Earth….You really forgot about all the things Venus and Mercury did together? How they used to be in love?”
“WHAT!?” Earth turned his head to the direction of where the other Rocky Planets played Solarcards. His eyes widened when he noticed how extremely close Venus and Mercury were getting with each other, in fact it looked like Venus was smiling—AT MERCURY!? Earth rubbed his eyes just to make sure, his jaw dropped. “…APPARENTLY VENUS HAS A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO.”
Lilith looked in the same direction, “OH NO WAY!!! ARE THEY ACTUALLY GONNA GET BACK TOGETHER!?” She squealed, “You need to invite Mars over like now!”
Earth snapped his head back to her, “What? Why?”
“Because you need to give them their space! Bring Mars over, watch a movie, take him on a date, fool around in The Asteroid Belt, read a book together, sing songs—”
Earth cut her off, “Okay fine! I’ll ask him if he wants to watch a movie, and you’re joining us, Lilith!”
“Fine. What are we watching?”
Earth smiled, “K-Pop Demon Hunters!”
Lilith was intrigued, “Ooh, what’s that?”
“A movie with banger K-Pop songs and Demons of course! It’s a really great movie, you have to watch it! I’ve been waiting for you to come back so we can watch it together!” The excitement rose in his voice, “Luna really loves it! His favorites are ‘Takedown’, “This is What It Sounds Like”, and ‘Your Idol’. I’m sure you’re going to love it!”
Lilith smiled, “I love it already and I haven’t even seen it! Alright already! Go invite Mars!”
“On it!” Earth ran off to steal back his boyfriend, “MAAAAAARS!!!!”