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“It must be weird, you know?” Will furrowed his brows at Nico as he helped clear the table.
“What?” Nico paused to glance up at his boyfriend.
Some things shouldn't be said.
“Being a child of the Underworld.” Nico could tell Will wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying, but that didn’t stop the anger slowly bubbling in the depths of his gut. Will, oblivious and eyelids already drooping, yawned absentmindedly and continued rambling on.
“Like, having to be down there in the cold darkness, with just stupid ghosts to keep you company, just endless grey and nothing really pleasant to see or enjoy.” Nico swallowed, like bile and rage was rising up his throat and he was trying to keep it from all spilling out in a shouting haze.
Will laughed and leaned slightly onto Nico. “I mean, you have to deal with the troglodytes--” Some things slip from under your tongue.
Nico stepped away, and Apollo’s child blinked up at him in distaste, and he shuddered slightly from the loss of little warmth Nico’s close presence provided. “What?”
“I thought you said you’d understand after our adventure in Tartarus. The troglodytes are my friends. I know you think they’re stupid and annoying but I have a different opinion and you said you’d respect that. You’re doing it again.
“Assuming everything is like it is because you’ve heard so, like how you have a stubborn idea that beauty simply can't exist in the Underworld. Will, we talked about this.” Nico hides the anger in his words carefully, lacing them just right in the cracks of the syllables so they don’t catch the light of the sun and glint dangerously from the shadows.
A pause, and then Will sighed. “You’re right. Sorry.” Nico nods reluctantly, but Will can’t keep it down any longer either.
Some things get even worse.
“Maybe if you came out more you'd understand.” Nico stumbles slightly in surprise, but Will pretends not to notice and goes on, his determination to not back down fuelling and clouding his better judgment.
“Maybe if you came out from that dark cabin of yours when we go to camp, you'd appreciate the sun and natural beauty of the world above more.”
Nico’s previous resentment toward his boyfriend's words return, creeping from under his skin and snaking chains around his heart that click into place as his gaze hardens.
“Nobody likes me much.”
“That's because you never give them a chance! I'm sure there's plenty of campers who would love to hang out with you if you actually tried!”
“I'm sure I would love you even more if you stopped making me feel insecure and hurt my feelings every couple minutes!”
Some things eventually break.
“Shut up!” They were screaming now, refraining from crying. This wasn’t the first fight the past couple months, but it hurt every single time no matter the circumstance or how much they were used to it.
“You shut up!” Nico’s shoulders were shaking, and Will had already backed into the wall, trembling with a blurry mess of emotions. “Maybe you would understand if you were actually useful! If your power wasn’t just turning into a stupid flashlight and healing that doesn’t work half the time-”
The walls were closing in, trapping them inside, cutting off the air until they were gasping for it all to stop. Like there was not enough air to breath and not enough time to inhale. Not enough space to move and not enough willpower to stop crying and stop screaming and stop raging and stop–
Some things can’t be stopped either way.
“Get out!” Blood was roaring in Will’s ears, his eyes stinging as tears he fought so hard to blink away clouded his vision and the figure of his fuming boyfriend. “I don’t want to talk to you!”
“Maybe I will! I don’t want to talk to you either!” Nico’s palms were starting to hurt from how tightly his fingers curled into a fist that dug his fingernail into his skin. Hot tears streamed down his face, yet all he felt right now was outright rage.
“You don’t understand anything! Nothing! This-- this is why darkness and light don't mix!”
Some things aren’t meant to clash.
“Shut up! I said I don’t want to see you! Leave!” Will was crying now as well, sliding down against the wall as he sobbed into his knees. “I said get out!” His voice was a scrambled mess but fierce anger seeped through every syllable, the pure hatred in his broken gaze matching the one lacing Nico’s words moments after.
“I hate you.”
Silence. Silence that hurts so much because all Nico wants is for Will to say the words back. But what he says instead is so much worse.
Some things can’t be taken back.
“Sometimes I wish you were dead.” Will regrets the words as soon as they spill out of his mouth, but he doesn’t take them back. He won’t be the weak one again. He won’t be the one to back down.
Nico has frozen near the door, but his expression doesn’t change as he looks back one last time at Will’s curled up body at the other end of the room. “Sometimes I wish you were dead as well. But not as much as I wish I was dead.” The door slams behind him.
Some things don’t last forever.
Will sits trembling alone in the apartment for what seems like hours, yet barely a couple minutes had passed before realization dawned on Will and he was out the door, slippers and all, hand skimming the handrail as he rushed down the stairs, and before he knew it, his face was exposed the chilly air of New York in the middle of the night.
Will ignored the cold and made no move to wipe the stains on his cheeks, or hide the fact he was wearing pajamas right outside his apartment. His eyes were glazed over by a layer of fear and desperation as they frantically raked the road ahead.
The streets were dull, grey, void of life. Empty. So were Nico's eyes when Will found him in his own apartment, lying cold on the floor.
Will let him sleep, but that didn’t mean he didn’t long to wake him up when he didn’t.
Some things are meant to break.