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It’s been six months since the 37th edition of Squid Game has come to an end. Inho left Korea and traveled all the way to America just to give Seong Gayeong her father’s belongings and to inform her of his death. Maybe he did it to pay tribute to Gihun. Maybe he did it to redeem himself. Maybe it was both. He didn’t know it.
After it’s been done, he returned to a hotel he was staying in at the time. Inho opened the door with a keycard and stepped inside. He tossed his jacket onto the bed and stood in front of a mirror. He studied his reflection closely - all he could see was a failure of man; someone who couldn’t do a single thing right. A person who let everyone down, who lost everything he cared about. There was nothing left for him in this world and he was sure of that. He let out a tired sigh and turned away. He couldn’t stand to look at himself even a second longer. He walked up to his bed once more, folding his jacket nicely and putting it back on the duvet. Without thinking twice, he left the room.
He headed towards the staircase leasing to the upper floors. Unlike any other guest, he passed each floor, going straight to the rooftop. The doors weren’t closed for some reason, like they were waiting just for him to open it. He walked outside, cold air hitting his face.
Seconds later he found himself at the edge. The lack of protection there worried him, but he couldn’t complain - it was convenient, at least to him. As he was about to take another step straight across the edge, something stopped him. A presence. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt someone was there. He turned around, but saw nothing. Right when he was about to make another attempt at ending his miserable existence, he heard a voice.
„Don’t do it, Youngil” he knew that voice. He knew it too well. There was a figure beside him. A silhouette of a man in a shirt covered in blood and black pants. His dark doe-like eyes were staring at him with hatered, but he could swear he saw a hint of empathy in them. It made sense - he was the only person he knew, who could have any kind of compassion even for the worst people who walked this earth.
Inho took a step back and turned around to face the man.
„Are you really that much of a coward that you can’t take responsibility for your actions?” The figure mocked him.
„How the hell are you…? I thought you were-„
„Dead? I am.” He replied with no hesitation. „You really did think you can get rid of me once I’m dead, huh?” He snorted, his voice filled with disgust mixed with disappointment. „I can’t leave. I’m stuck in this world so long as my body isn’t buried.”
„So…you’re a ghost?” Inho asked, not sure if he was hallucinating or dreaming. Too bad for him, he didn’t remember going to sleep.
„Yes, I’m a ghost. Thought that was obvious by now”
„Gihun, I…”
„Don’t call my name. You don’t deserve it” the man replied coldly. He was right - Inho was the last person who could be calling him by his name.
For a moment, there was silence. Inho turned his gaze to the city below, observing small creatures going on with their lives, unaware of what was happening above them.
„Why did you show yourself to me?” Inho finally got the courage to ask.
Gihun let out a sigh before he spoke. „As much as I hate it, you were the only one who remembered me. All my friends are dead, no one on the team seemed to care about my disappearance and Gayeong…” he paused, his expression shifting to a painful picture of his failure as a father. „She decided to remove me from existence. Erase me. So I can’t show up - because to her I don’t exist.”
„Well, you did cut her off after promising to visit…and then never spoke to her again” the pain in Gihun’s face grew, as Inho’s words hit him. „But it’s not like you did it because you didn’t care. It was a price you payed to save others. Although, she couldn’t have known.”
„She must think I died a gambling addict drowning in debts” he sighed once again. „Oh, what I would give for a cigarette now…”
Inho looked inside his pockets. He found a small box of cigarettes, still not opened. He wasn’t the type to smoke, but he picked it up after the games ended. He was about to hand them over to Gihun, but then he remembered - he can’t. Instead, he picked one out and examined it.
„If I broke it in half, would it become a ghost cigarette?” Gihun didn’t even have words to reply to this stupid question. He just gave him a glare and it was enough for Inho to realise it was no time for jokes like these.
„Why did you even visit my daughter, Youngil?” Gihun broke the silence between them.
„That’s not my real name”
„Pfh, of course it isn’t. I should have known.” Gihun scoffed, rolling his eyes.
„Hwang Inho. That’s who I really am” he added a second later, ignoring mockery from the ghost.
„Took you long enough to be honest with me. But I don’t believe you. Not after all the lies you’ve told.” Gihun replied shifting his gaze to the city.
„I’m not lying right now. Why would I? Right before you appeared I was about to kill myself, what business would I have in lying to a ghost of someone that died because of me and their own stubbornness?” For the first time during their conversation Inho’s composure broke. The walls he built around his fears and guilt started cracking under pressure of Gihun’s presence right next to him.
Gihun couldn’t find a way to answer it. As much as he didn’t want to believe Inho, it felt honest.
„I really hoped you would get on that plane, you know? Forget all about the games, become a real father to your daughter, just be happy.”
„Bullshit.” Gihun’s salty reply added to the fire, Inho’s feelings starting to pour out of the back of his mind with each passing minute of their conversation.
„Fucking hell, what do you want me to do to prove I’m being honest?! Do you want me to jump? I won’t hesitate. Not a single fucking second.” Inho looked Gihun straight in the eyes, fury and desperation mixed together on his face. Gihun felt bad. Sure, he hated Inho for all he did, but even so, he couldn’t forget that one memory of him talking about his sick wife. Even if it was fake, just a cover up story to seem realistic…he had a feeling it was real.
„Tell me your story. No lies, if you try to I’ll haunt you forever.” Gihun decided to give him a chance at redeeming himself, or at least making up for a small part of all the harm he did.
Inho looked at Gihun surprised. He didn’t expect this sudden change. For a good minute he was wondering if he should share or not. He decided to go for it - what did he have to lose?
„Way before I became involved with the games, I used to be a police officer. A respected one, if I may add” he smiled under his breath at the memory of his old job. „I was married to a wonderful woman, the love of my life. She got pregnant and when I’ve heard the news, I was the happiest man on earth.” Gihun listened carefully, only nodding from time to time. „However, she got sick. Doctors gave her a choice - she could either terminate the pregnancy and live or risk it all and go through it. I tried get her away from the idea of keeping the baby, but she wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t never change her mind - she was so stubborn it always had to be her way” the memory of his wife flashed in front of his eyes. He took a deep breath and continued. „The treatment was so expensive we quickly ran out of money. I started borrowing it, which led to me being accused of bribery and losing my job. Desperate i joined Squid Game and won, but…it was too late by that time” Gihun’s heard about his wife story, but he had no idea Inho actually played the games. The more of the story heard, the more he felt connected to Inho. He’s never realised how similar they were, at least in some way.
„The night before final game, Ilnam called me to his quarters. He offered me a knife, just like I did to you. I took it and used it, just like he wished me to.” He fell silent for a moment, trying to bring himself to reveal the rest of his past. „With my wife and our unborn child dead, no job, family turned away from me…I rejoined the games. This time as the frontman. I lost all hope in humanity - good people have to endure suffering for the sake of devils’ amusement. It’s always been like that and it will always be. At least that’s what I thought before your final act. Now I just don’t know.” Inho looked at Gihun, but he turned his gaze away. He’s been contemplating for a moment, thinking of a right thing to say.
„You were a good man, Inho. But your trauma can’t justify your sins.” was what came out of Gihun’s mouth after a moment of silence. „I hate you for what you did. It’s not something I could ever forgive you for. Taking part in this sickening slaughter…killing my best friend right in front of my eyes.” Again silence fell between them. Gihun gathered his thoughts and spoke once more. „But I still have faith there’s hope for you. You’re still alive, you have the power to change, do something. Don’t waste it.”
„You really believe i still can do something good?” Inho asked, turning his head to the other man, but he wasn’t there anymore. Inho looked around, but Gihun was nowhere to be found. He disappeared. A familiar ache hit his heart, loneliness creeping on him again. He started to question whether this was even real or was it him talking to himself.
He looked over the edge one more time. After taking a deep breath, he took one step.
***
Exactly seven months after the final game of last Squd Game edition Hwang Inho found himself in the cemetery. That day after he talked to Gihun, he made a decision - he’s going to give life another chance. He’s going to give himself another chance.
He remembered Gihun’s words about him being unable to pass away from this world due to not being buried and ever since then, he kept thinking about it. He wanted to retrieve his body, but it was too late for that. With that being impossible, the least he could do was giving him a tombstone, even if it was empty.
He stood in front of a small memorial placed next to his wife’s gravestone.
Seong Gihun
1974-2024
Was written on it. In his hand, Inho was holding a bouquet of yellow chrysanthemums. As he put them in a small vase next to the tombstone, he heard the familiar voice again.
„So you are trying to change now? Didn’t think my words would get to you.” Gihun said, a hint of happiness visible in his eyes.
Inho turned to face the man, surprised just as much as when they first talked.
„I thought you were gone”
„I told you I can’t go until I’m buried.” A tired smile appeared on his face.
„You have your grave now” Inho replied. „You can move on now, right?” He didn’t expect it, but when he thought about Gihun being truly gone now, it hurt him to the core. He shook the thought off - he can’t be breaking out now.
„I want to stay just a little longer” Gihun was much different than the first time he showed up - he was calm, as if all the anger left him. Inho could only wonder what was behind this change.
They stood beside each other in silence. These were really their last moments together, even if only one of them was alive. Even with all the anger, sadness, pain they caused to one another…the memories of the time they’ve spent together remained strong, taking over the negative emotions. Rain started to pour from the sky, as if God himself was trying to cleanse them from their sins, washing away all their cruel past.
„I had this thought for a while.” Gihun spoke out of nowhere. „Maybe if we’ve met in different circumstances, we could’ve been something else than enemies.”
„Maybe” Inho replied. „I wish it could’ve been like that.” The silence fell heavy between them. Inho broke it speaking once more. „For everything I’ve done…I’m sorry, Gihun.” He forgot how the man forbid him to use his name, but it seemed Gihun didn’t mind.
„You know I can’t forgive you.” Gihun spoke, his voice cracking slightly; he wanted to forgive Inho, but he couldn’t. Not after what he’s done. „But I don’t hate you anymore. I don’t know how I feel anymore…” he sighed heavily. „For all I know, I have hope in you. Maybe we’ll meet somewhere in the afterlife one day and we’ll get that soju you promised me.” He chuckled, but the atmosphere just kept getting heavier and more painful. „I might forgive you by that time. For now, you’ll have to go on without me.” Gihun faced the other man, looking him in the eyes. Although Inho tried jis best to keep his composure, tears still gathered in his eyes, making the silhouette in front of him blurry. „Goodbye, Inho” Gihun shared one last smile before he disappeared, this time for good.
Inho stood there for another few minutes, not knowing what to do. His heart ached, going through the loss of the one he cared about so deeply once again; and yet, a part of him felt a tiny flame of hope faintly burning inside him.
He’ll do anything to see him again, even if that means he has to flip his own life upside down.