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"Relax Kaito...I promise this will go smoothly..."
With the number of times Kaito Momota had heard that before, it was a genuine wonder he ever survived a single conversation with a little devil like Kokichi Oma...especially as he'd been handed a giant rubber band.
"What the hell do you even need this for?"
"I told you, dummy. I need to measure something!"
"With a giant rubber band?"
"It's a rubber tape measure!"
"But why?"
"Look, as the Ultimate Supreme Leader, I can never go anything half-baked. It's either one-hundred percent unique or I'm not doing it at all!"
"Man, you're crazy..."
"Whatever, Space Man! Now hold onto this and don't move..."
Honestly, considering the last couple of times Kaito took his eyes off of the smaller boy, he paid for it, he really shouldn't have taken his eyes off the little rodent for even a moment.
But maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.
Kaito would hold onto his end of the rubber band as Kokichi would walk out of the classroom. The purple-haired boy would remain standing rather still as he could feel the band getting tighter and tigher the further Kokichi left from site.
Eventually, he couldn't see him at all, which got Kaito to suddenly have a feeling of dread.
"..."
"Hey Kokichi, you alright-"
It happened in the blink of an eye.
A single snap. Suddenly, the rubber band would launch right back at Kaito. He had a brief millisecond to register. He begged...the chest, the stomach, even his face. Anywhere...but THERE.
Unfortunately...THERE was exactly where ground zero would commence.
With the force of a super-sonic jet, the band would slam into Kaito's nutsack. The vibrations would travel from his stomach to his legs and into his throat. His face would contort like an unholy demon, a wail that could rival a banshees would echo through the school, through Japan, and through the world. A horrific call of the damned...like a mating call of misery to anyone who would dare even consider joining in a mating dance between agony and sorrow. Flashes of the future. Of children he'd never have. Of literal pissing contests that would turn into bloody Sundays, of prostate exams where he'd have to explain to his doctor why his junk looked like it had gone 10 round with a Prime Mike Tyson.
Kaito would collapse onto the floor. He wasn't coughing up blood, but he wished he did. His entire lower body would be numb.
And then, Kokichi would appear in the doorway.
"Wow, I don't know if robots have dicks, but now I know you don't!"
"YOU BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!!!!!"