Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Above Millennium, the streets shimmering with heat in the brilliant sunlight, a single rifle soared through the warm air.

The one guiding it on its way was a beautiful young girl. She wore a black robe and a pointy hat, and her ashen hair flapped in the wind.

If anyone had been around to notice her, they would have turned to look, wondering with a sigh who that beauty on the firearm could be…

That’s right. It was her.

From the logbook of Millennium Patent Staff Member 'Alberta Onestone':

“And I’m telling you, it’s totally real this time!” the white haired girl wearing a witch hat exclaimed angrily, “We came up with an actual useful potion this time!”

“That’s not relevant to any of this.” I shook my head, looking over at the wooden hexagonal object that had been placed in front of me, the beaker of… concerning fluids boiling over on top, “Hasn’t every other project you’ve brought before the patent office here consistently posed a threat to life and limb of everyone here in Millennium?”

“T-That’s not important! What is important this time is we’ve finally cracked it. A potion that restores vitality and will leave you feeling objectively more energized!” the unusual student held up the beaker before me, “Try it at least once! I promise! We didn’t even use any non-edible ingredients this time!”

Glaring at her, and against my better judgment, I picked up the flask, swirled its contents, and slammed back the contents.

“...This is hot chocolate.”

“EXACTLY.”

“You can’t patent hot chocolate. At best, you can copyright this recipe maybe but…” I sipped the brown fluid slightly again, “Hm. This tastes slightly better than last time, I guess.”

“So can you provide us any… um…” she glanced up concernedly over my head quickly.

I followed her gaze and…

Immediately my halo pulsed with a blinding white light.

“TIHS HO AMIM EES NAC I MY EYES!”

Fighting my blurry vision, I could see the magician student curled up on the floor, frantically rubbing at her eyes, “BLINDNESS! YOU HAVE CAST A BLINDNESS SPELL UPON ME! HOW DEVIOUS!”

“N-No, this is definitely your fault!” I exclaimed, frantically trying to conceal the miniature sun behind my head, “How do I turn it off!?”

“I don’t know! But this is certainly a turn of events I was not expecting! Kanoe will be very interested in these results!” she pulled a large notebook labelled ‘THE GRIMOIRE OF SHIRAO ERI’, rapidly scribbling badly written notes down in it with a pen.

“D-Did you just come here to use me as a test subject?! Did you subject this to any clinical trials at all!?”

“MAGIC WAITS FOR NO CLINICAL TRIALS!” the magician proudly pointed… in the opposite direction, “Strohs ym tae nac Nirie Orokogay, is what I always say!”

Approximately 5 minutes later, my halo’s light finally dimmed to more reasonable levels, if still slightly too bright.

“...So, what do you think? Do you feel more energized now…?”

“W-While turning myself into a portable flashbang!? There’s literally no way you’d be able to convince someone to legitimately drink this!” I sighed, considering the rest of the contents of the flask, “Just… just get out of here.”

“...Okay…” she looked incredibly dejected, picking up the wooden stove on the table and blowing out the rainbow-colored flames from the top. She pulled her rifle out from behind her back, muttering something under her breath and tossing it down to the ground.

...Or rather, she would have, but the rifle instead just floated in place in the air behind her, completely defying all common sense.

“Uh, wha-”

Ignoring my cry, she hopped on top, as if surfing on the weapon, and pointed forwards with a sniffle, “Yalpsoc asiram looc repus… Take me home...”

“Hey, wait, how are you doing tha-”

The flying rifle immediately took off in a burst of light, its rider surfing atop it into the skies above, leaving a bewildered Millenium student behind on the ground.

“W-Why didn’t you patent that instead!?”

Chapter Text

Sensei took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts.

“So you’re magic.”

“Indeed I am!” the girl in the witch hat proudly stood, raising her rifle as if it were a staff, “I am Eri Shirao, the Ashen Witch of Wild Hunt! And I have come here to send in my SCHALE application! ETELPMOC EMOCEB STNEMUCOD!”

With a wave of her staff- um, rifle- she swung. A multicolored blast of light shot forth from the tip and struck a nearby pile of papers.

The papers levitated into the air, along with multiple pens swirling around them. The silver-haired woman stared in awe as they defied gravity, swirling about the mage as she…

Stood there, gripping her head.

“...What’s wrong?”

“...S...Sensei… What are these?”

“They’re my work.”

“...I don’t… I don’t understand a single bit of any of these… Uhh… I can’t actually do this.” Eri let out a nervous laugh, before waving her staff again, “Z sulp lrtc!”

The documents and pens swirled around, replacing themselves back exactly where they were prior as the mage let out a tired sigh, sitting down.

“...That was still certainly quite impressive. I have never seen a student use actual magic like that before.”

“But of course! We at the Wild Hunt Occult Society are some of the greatest practitioners in the mystic arts in all of Kivotos!” the mage proudly puffed out her chest, “But if you still doubt my power…”

“I really don’t-”

“Then I shall accompany you for today and use my abilities to provide aid!”

Sensei hesitated, before sitting up, a small smile breaking across her face, “Oh, very well, if you insist. I never thought I would see the day that I would have a mage within my employ…”

“You will not regret this! I won’t let you down!”

Somewhere in Trinity, a certain fox-girl’s eyes suddenly flew open in alarm, her ears immediately pricking upright.

“...Oh no.”

“A bicycle?”

“Nn.” Sensei nodded, “It’s a very comfortable way to travel Kivotos.”

“...Ah! That gives me an idea!” The mage suddenly swung her rifle towards the bike, “Ytaolf og!”

Immediately the bicycle shot up into the air, speeding into the skies.

“Aha! Now, your bike is capable of flight!”

“Impressive.”

…

“It’s not coming down, is it?”

“I think it wears off in like an hour.”

“...does it stop going up?”

“I think we landed a lunar probe with that spell once…”

Chapter Text

The sound of powerful engines rolling at high speeds.

“MAAAAGGGGGEEEEEEEEE!!” a familiar voice called out, followed by several strained coughs. Sensei barely had time to turn around before getting run down by a high-velocity wheelchair.

Ignoring the woman she had just run down, the delicate, sickly, genius hacker of Millennium quickly straightened herself out, “Excuse me! But would you happen to be a wizard!?”

Eri let out a nervous laugh, “Ah! It appears my reputation precedes me!”

“Yes, I could tell from that funny hat anywhere! Only a real magician would lack the self awareness to go out in public with such a funny hat! That or a cosplayer!” Himari shrugged, “50/50 chance!”

The mage could only stare.

“Anyway, I come to you with a matter of great import!” the wheelchair bound girl clutched the mage’s hands, “Please! Reveal to me the secrets of future foresight!”

“I… I see! Someone so deeply invested in my abilities that they would seek me out personally!” Eri brightened instantly, “Why, when you put it like that, what would I be if I did not impart unto you the knowledge I have amassed!”

Himari’s eyes sparkled, “Please, then, great mage!”

“Listen closely!” Eri declared, before quickly leaning in and whispering, “Okay so what you want to do is something really flashy then say a bunch of vague things that are actually incredibly broad and general. That way they can apply to pretty much anybody and you’ll still sound totally correct. It works every time.”

“That just sounds like social engineering with more steps." Himari frowned, "Surely nobody would fall for that.”

The witch girl sighed, digging into her pocket and pulling out a deck of cards. She tossed them into the air where they briefly spun around her before she snatched one up; an expired coupon for a local sandwich store. Staring at it, she shrugged slightly before sagely speaking;

“You feel like a great injustice has been committed unto you recently and wish for it to be corrected.”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW!?” Himari gasped loudly, rolling back in awe slightly, “Y-You really are magic!”

“In order to correct said great injustice you must… Um.” Eri paused, scratching her head briefly and turning to Sensei on the ground, stage whispering over to her, “Quick, nothing’s coming to mind right now what should I say?”

“Uh… You already know the path that you are to travel, yet you feel it is difficult and thus keep avoiding it.” Sensei managed to make out through her groans of pain.

Himari’s gaze fell upon Sensei, “No way… You too!? Incredible!”

“Also, Sgel xif tsac I.” Eri pointed her rifle staff, light gathering around the end briefly, “Your legs are now fixed.”

“Psh, yeah right, I’ll believe it when I see it.” Himari scoffed, turning around and leaving.

…

“…So… do we just push the chair after her or…?” Sensei muttered.

Chapter Text

“That hat…!?” Uzawa Reisa’s jaw fell wide open, “Would you happen to be…”

“Indeed! I am a magician, the greatest kind in Wild Hun-”

“GIVE ME SUPERPOWERS PLEASE!” the Vigilante Crew member screamed suddenly.

“...Excuse me?”

“Sorry, but I mean, you can give me magical superpowers, right?” Reisa stepped back, her eyes twinkling, “It would make my job a lot easier, and I think it would be super cool!” She struck a strange pose, “The Guardian of Justice! Hero of Light! Cure Reisa!”

Her grin slowly faded upon seeing the increasing grimace on Eri’s face.

“What kind of magician do you take me for?! I only use my magic for serious reasons!” the mage grumpily turned away, “I can’t just give people magical superpowers willy-nilly! And even then that’s not even how you learn magic arts! You can’t just instantly learn magical abilities in the span of seconds like that! No, even to cast one measly fireball takes at least a week of training, and even then it’s just a mild directed heat blast!”

“Oh… I’m sorry.”

“As you should be! This is incredibly serious business, and I’m offended you’d even dare compare it to those kids shows!” as she said this, she took a hot dog from Sensei’s hands, “Daerb nolem otni nrut! Apapar pu eruc!”

With a sudden puff of smoke, the bread transmuted into a puffy pink bun which she started rapidly chowing down on.

“Well, surely there’s something you can do for me, right?” Reisa kicked her legs, sitting on the bench by the mage’s side, “It’s not everyday someone like me can just run into an actual wizard!”

“Oh sure like we’re obligated to give everyone random… Fine. Dolg eno elub enin.” she wiggled her fingers, Reisa’s body glowing for approximately half a second, “You now have the magical ability of a guaranteed chance of pulling at least one SSR on any gacha banner you pull on. Knock yourself out, kid. Now let me finish eating lunch.”

Reisa stared silently, slowly raising her shotgun. Wordlessly, Sensei reached out, pushing the barrel back down.

Chapter Text

“You really don’t like Maho Shojou anime, do you?”

“They’re a horrifically inaccurate depiction of what we actual mages do, and I for one am sick of the ease at which they portray the study of magical abilities!” the mage sighed, leaning back slightly causing the levitating rifle she was riding upon to wobble slightly, “Real magic takes a lot longer to learn… and master.”

“Aren’t you merely a magic student yourself?”

“Well… Yes.”

“Seems to me you might be at least a little jealo-” Sensei began, only for a roll cake to be teleported into her mouth.

“I am NOT jealous of them… I’m not jealous of them at all!” the wizard in training exclaimed loudly in the least jealous voice she could manage, “Oh sure, Sakura, go right ahead! Just go right ahead and learn how to ride on your staff right there with the help of your stupid cards or something! It’s not like I had do stave riding tutorials for that thing! I bet you don’t even have your stave license!”

“Mmf.” Sensei muffled through the cake.

“And what’s more, hers has big fancy wings! That’s cheating! Do you know how hard it is to learn stabilization magic for riding staves!? If all our staves had big fancy wings, it’d be infinitely easier for all of us, but GUESS WHAT!? That’s ‘not to regulation’!”

‘There’s staff regulations?’ Sensei silently thought, chewing on the cake, ‘I wonder if there’s any rules for flying bicycles…’

“And that’s not even getting started on some of the other shows! Don’t get me started on the outrageous claims made about familiars! They can’t force you to sign binding contracts like that! And time loop magic isn’t even robust enough to last that long without loop degradation!” Eri was shaking so hard she looked like she was going to crush her rifle in her hands, “The day these shows stop treating magic like a joke is the day I’ll start respecting them!”

"...Mm." Sensei finally swallowed the last of the cake, eager to change the subject, “You know, this whole magic thing sounds awfully wide-spread, understood and managed. Why haven’t I seen it more?”

Eri froze, turning to face the teacher before gesturing widely up at her halo.

“...Aside from the obvious, of course.”

“Magic users exist all around Kivotos. It’s just that they’re so low-key and common that people tend to gloss over them.” the mage explained, “For example, certain individuals are capable of subconsciously manipulating fortune to favor them. Others can use it consciously; for example, this one nurs-”

She froze up, suddenly staring off into the distance. Sensei quickly turned her head to face where she was looking, seeing nothing abnormal in that direction.

“...Um, forget that.” Eri quickly waved it off, “The point is, mystics and magic are not too far off from each other. In that sense, you can look at what we at Wild Hunt do as a kind of research into Mystics!”

“I see.”

“For example, when it comes to you, I can see-”

Eri’s eyes widened in shock.

Death.

She had meant to look into the older woman’s own mana reserves and see what kind of specialization she might have had.

However, naught awaited her but the abyss.

Nothing lay beyond the veil of her mind. No lights. No sound. No cold. No warmth. Nothing but herself, in an eternal void.

And yet…

Why did it feel like her mind was being stretched out? Millions upon millions of souls… all in a silent eternal cacaphony of pain, suffering and absolute Terror.

The void… it was closing in all around, yet it stretched for eternity.

Was this... what Death was like? Was there truly naught but nothingness and oblivion-

For this to be the depths of Sensei's soul, she would have to be a mere vessel...

“Please don’t look in there.”

Eri jolted, her eyes bulging as she turned to face Sensei.

“Yes, it tends to do that.” Sensei brightly smiled, “Don’t worry about it. It’s all under control.”

“R-Right…” Eri slowly spoke, turning to face straight ahead and trying her best to ignore what she just witnessed.

Chapter Text

“So about that hat of yours. A lot of people say it looks silly.” Sensei tilted her head, “But you seem rather attached to it.”

“Yes! It’s actually connected to an incredibly useful foldspace storage unit!” Eri removed the hat, “I keep all kinds of useful things in here! I’d be naked without it!”

“Fascinating. May I see some of those things?”

“Hm… I suppose I could try digging out some stuff from in here. Let’s see!” drawing a hand back, she reached inside, “Huh? S-Something’s pulling-”

A cutlass covered in seaweed and frozen seawater suddenly rammed out, barely missing the mage as it slid out, clanking onto the ground.

Eri naturally let out a high pitched whine that turned into a full on screech.

A hand covered in white, porcelain-like cracks followed, fumbling around blindly before the upper body of a blonde-haired woman with shining blue eyes poked out. Eri strained to carry the hat from the sheer weight all of a sudden, lowering it to the ground.

“Um… Hello?”

“...Good day.” the woman greeted with a polite Trinity-esque accent, her uniformed body making strange metallic creaking sounds as she glanced downwards, “Do I… need to know why I appear to be currently half-witch hat?”

“Uh… I was showing off my foldspace storage.”

“Ach. So I have become a literal rabbit in a hat... I think some wires must be crossed somewhere, then.” the woman’s arm clinked and sparked around on the ground for a few more moments, before eventually gripping the sword’s hilt, “There we go. I shall be getting out of your hair now. So sorry about this.”

Sensei couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of familiarity looking into those blue-flecked eyes.

“Uh… You’re good… I’m the one who accidentally took your…” Eri noticed the strange looks she was getting as the strange woman slid the sword back into the hat, “I mean, um…”

“I understand. Please take more care when accessing this… foldspace, then. It would do me ill if I were separated from my main cannons in a hour of need.” the woman huffed, adjusting the metal headband on her head before ducking back into the foldspace, “Otherwise, carry on.”

Sensei stared.

“Does that normally-”

“N-No! M-Maybe some wires really are crossed. Let me try checking in there again…” Eri dug inside the hat once more.

Several more items clinked out; a concerningly rapidly clicking geiger counter, what seemed to be a toy rocket with a glowing fluid dripping out of it, a golden trash can with a crumpled up Highlander document tumbling out of it and Sorai Saki (Who, oddly enough, muttered “Not again.” before leaving).

“Ah! Here we go. I think it’s some spare meatbuns I was keeping for later!” Eri perked up, her hand finding purchase on something.

“Let’s see it, the-”

“Strange, it feels a bit more tough than usu-”

“FOXTROT!”

A live flashbang suddenly flew out, striking the mage’s head before detonating, causing the two silver haired girls to fall to the ground. Several more suppressive gas, smoke, frag and of course flash grenades clinked out afterwards with a few more exclamations of the phrase, along with a half-empty bottle of Sake.

“Wait, that’s mine…” A gloved hand slowly reached out, gripping the bottle before snatching it back in, “‘Pologies.”

After recovering from the assault on their senses, Sensei and Eri would both decide not to try poking around in there again for the time being.

Chapter Text

“We came as soon as you called.”

“That’s great. I wouldn’t expect anything less. So, you’re that witch girl who’s travellin’ with Sensei?”

“Sure am! I’m Eri Shirao, the Ashen Witch of Wild Hunt! To prove my capabilities for SCHALE, I’m traveling with Sensei for the day and-”

“So you can use magic to find a person, can’t you?”

“Why, of course! Using magic to locate an individual is simplicity in itself! I actually passed a recent test on-”

“Kuchinashi Yume.”

Sensei’s face darkened upon that name being spoken.

Eri stared, realizing the air had gotten that slight tinge colder.

“W-what?”

“I want you to find Kuchinashi Yume. If it’s easy for magic as you say, I want you to find her and bring her back.” the pinkette plainly spoke, seeming to stand up slightly taller, “...Please.”

“But… Yume’s…” Sensei slowly began, but the last of the Abydos student council held up her hand.

Her voice began to waver, “I know. But… Just… one more time…! If only I could make up for all those mistakes with her… Just…”

A tear rolled down her face as she began to shake, before stumbling forwards.

“...I just want to see her again… That face that only exists in my memories…” she wrapped her arms around Eri, shaking and sobbing, “Please… You can do that for me, right?! Y-You have magic… You can…”

“I’m sorry… I can’t bring back the dead.”

Silence.

Yet, it felt like a gunshot.

“...No… of course you can’t…” a sigh, as the girl released the mage, wiping the tears from her eyes even as more streamed forth, “I… I’m sorry. I guess… I got ahead of myself again.”

The setting sun over Abydos set the horizon ablaze.

“She really meant a lot to you, didn’t she?” Eri asked after a few moments.

“You have no idea.” the grey haired woman spoke quietly, crouching down and holding Hoshino, “I’ve seen how far she would go for her… and I know how far all of u- all of Abydos would go.”

“So I thought… Even if there was the slightest chance that you could let me see her again… maybe even talk to her one final time…”’

Eri looked away, before removing her hat.

“There are many miracles that magic can accomplish. But to defy death itself in that way, to restore that which has died to life…” Sensei sat down on the edge of the school building’s roof, “It seems that is something no human is capable of, magic or otherwise...”

“And Sensei would know better than anyone else on that subject… wouldn’t you?” Hoshino smiled weakly, “Sorry for wasting your time, then.”

“It’s fine. I was… curious as well.”

Eri looked between the two silently, before her eyes fell onto her rifle, strapped over her back.

A stave that felt that much heavier now.

“I mean, we could try a séance or… or a medium…”

“Those only tell you what you want to hear. No, that’s just letting yourself fall deeper into delusion.”

“I guess… But…”

“If she’s truly gone, then… I suppose that she wouldn’t want me to waste time on something like that.” Hoshino rose to her feet, “...I’ll just keep on living.”

“Maybe in that sense, she’s still right by your side.” the silver haired woman got up, “Yume isn’t dead, as long as you carry that memory and duty with you.”

“D’aw, there’s no need to pat me like that, Sensei… but you’re right. Yume wouldn’t want me to throw everything away on such a flimsy dream. I… I guess that helps. Thanks, you two, for helping this old-timer get all that off her chest.”

“Hoshino… I didn’t pat you.”

“What? You’re doing it right now.”

“I’m standing all the way over here. My hands are literally right here.”

“Wait… then...”

Eri slowly clamped her mouth shut as the shimmering figure with flowing blue-green hair brought a finger up to her lips, squishing Hoshino’s cheeks one last time before fading away into the skies.

Chapter Text

“Seia? Where are you going in such a hurry?” Mika asked, looking up from her sandwich, “Come to think of it, it’s rare to see you so… active.”

“The mage is loose. I must correct this as soon as possible.”

“Wait, the mage- Seia? What are you babbling about?”

KA-CLICK.

Pulling on a random book in a nearby bookshelf, the shelf swung open, revealing a compartment beneath with a glass case labeled “BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF MAGE”.

Seia did just that, reaching within and pulling out a strange hooked staff with a golden crescent and red orb. A red ribbon fluttered on the end of the stave as it was pulled free.

Mika could only stare.

“How long was that the-”

“I will return shortly.” Seia left the room, the massive door clunking shut behind her.

Mika looked down at her sandwich, then at the bookcase, and nervously continued chewing.

“S-Seia… Y-You’re here…”

“And not a moment too soon. What appears to be the problem, Tsurugi?”

The JTF President stood up perfectly straight despite the strained expression on her face.

“I-It was really nice for like a minute but now I-I feel really w-weird…!” she whimpered, “W-Why am I so tall?”

“...You did ask her for this, didn’t you.”

“Fine, I did, but I r-reaaaally regret asking her that b-but i-i-it sounded like a good idea at the time…” she squeaked.

“Very well, I shall remedy this.” the Tea Party member raised her staff, “If you would allow me?”

“Y-Yes, yes! J-Just do it!”

Light gathered around the ruby inset on the end of the stave, wind gusting around the fox girl as she gripped the staff firmly in both hands.

She swung it suddenly, slamming it into Tsurugi’s back. A loud CRACK sounded, the girl crumpling over instantly.

“KYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH! OH SWEET RELEASE!” the now re-hunched over girl shrieked to the heavens, sounding much more comfortable – at least, as comfortable as she normally sounded, “KEKEKEEH! Thanks a bunch, Seia!”

“No problem. Would you happen to know where this mage went next?”

Airi and Seia stared at the spot where the now missing Kazusa was moments ago.

“...S-She just wanted to avoid Reisa for the day, so she took her aside, cast an invisibility spell and… W-We haven’t been able to find her since!”

“Truly troubling. Let me see if I can find her…”

Light gathered around Seia.

“W-Well, d-did you find her?” Airi asked.

“Is she safe?” Yoshimi gripped the mage’s arm.

“Does she still have all her clothes on?” Natsu leaned over.

“Find who?” Kazusa questioned.

The other members of the after-school sweets club froze, turning to face her.

“...W-Were you always here?”

“Yeah. She just told me to hang around with this girl. It’s actually been working great.” She pulled up a nearby wheelie bin, talking into it, “Miyu, you still okay in there?”

“Y-Yes… T-Thank you for the food earlier, a-again!” a shy voice floated out from within.

“So yeah I’ve just been following you guys around the whole time.” She closed the flap once more, “I was wondering why you seemed so worried all of a sudden.”

“To be honest I did find it odd there was a convenient trash can everywhere we went today…” Airi scratched her head, “Uh… Thanks, Seia.”

“You are most welcome. Would you happen to know where that witch of yours went to next?”

“I don’t even know how she did this.” Momoi stared up, “Really this defies all explanation.”

“Indeed. The forces at play here are far greater than she can even begin to imagine.” Seia sipped her tea, “Lest she destroy the delicate balance of Kivotos, I must act swiftly.”

“Can it be fixed? We’ve tried everything!” Midori whimpered, “I-I’m gonna have to change all my gamertags at this rate…!”

“It is no simple task… But I am confident. Saiba Momoi, Saiba Midori… Stand still, so I may undo this curse placed upon you.”

Her stave glowed, light gathering around the two twins.

With a soft pop sound, Midori’s halo swapped back to its usual green, Momoi’s to its regular pink.

“IT’S A MIRACLE! PRAISE THE SUN!” Momoi screamed to the heavens, sprinting outside of the room.

“Thank goodness. She was about to try stealing my clothes.” Midori calmly sat back down, “I think you should be able to find Aris frolicking around in the nearest field. More tea?”

“Yes please. I fear my work has only just begun.”

“Seia! I’m a real girl now!”

“No you aren’t, Aris. Humans can’t run instantaneous system diagnostics.”

“Yes they can! All of my joints are 20% more agile, my internal reactor is operating 0.0071891% more efficiently, and… Wait.”

“She just gave you a regular massage Aris.”

“Oh. B-But wait, what about this? My nose is leaking fluid! Isn’t that something humans do?”

“Yes, but I think in your case it’s just hayfever.”

“Oh… I do have that, right. I have been meaning to ask, but why do I have hayfever if I’m still a robot?”

“Unfortunately, that is a question not even magic can answer.”

“AHAHAHAHHAAHA! OUR TRAIN CANNOT BE STOPPED!”

“Cower before us, mortals.”

“YES! RUN! RUN AWAY! RUN KNOWING YOU COULD NEVER USE YOUR TRAINS TO THEIR FULL ABILITY!”

“Hikari. Nozomi.”

“A MORTAL APPEARS BEFORE US!”

“She is running rather fast, isn’t she?”

“By virtue of it no longer being on any railway, having actual tyres and lacking any wagons or carriages, the vehicle you are currently riding on is no longer able to be considered a ‘train’. You are merely operating a very loud, very obnoxious car.”

“...What…?”

“That… makes sense…”

“What has that witch done to us, Hikari…?! Tricking us into giving up our GLORIOUS form of public transport… FOR A MERE AUTOMOBILE!”

“Witchcraft.”

“Yes! You’re right! This is a stain upon Highlander’s reputation! Using a car! I SCOFF AT THE VERY IDEA!”

“To the stake with her. We shall pin her remains upon the hull of the westward liner so she may witness the death of her world.”

“…Hikari, you need to lay off the coffee, it’s making you edgy.”

"Ehe."

“Sensei borrowed my bicycle and hasn’t returned it.”

“That’s it?”

“Nn.”

“...That mage didn’t do anything to you?”

“Nno.”

“...So it’s just that your bike hasn’t been returned.”

“Nn.”

*Sounds of a bicycle falling out of orbit and slamming into the ground inexplicably unharmed*

“Oh. Nevermind then.”

“I just said I wanted to be a better pianist.”

“...And she misheard you.”

“I think so.”

“It’s quite… large.”

“Indeed… Were this a different circumstance, I might even enjoy this…”

“Head Prefect Hina.”

“R-Right. It is starting to smell… But I don’t suppose there’s a way you could… move it somewhere for later?”

“I think even touching it could cause it to explode everywhere.’

“Yeah… And it would be quite the hassle to clean up.”

“But you really don’t have a spell to… preserve this?”

“Do you really want to keep this? This is… undoubtedly… the most butter I have ever seen in my life.”

“It’s… I mean, it is technically a gift...”

“That is quite an impressive likeness of you at the piano, indeed. Even if it is a bit melted.”

“Head Prefect, it gets worse! We sent the sample off to Fuuka for testing!”

“A-And?”

“Margarine.”

KA-CHUNK.

“Seia, we must destroy it RIGHT NOW.”

‘Hm. It seems like my previous fears were unfounded.’ Seia thought to herself, ‘Perhaps I’m worrying about nothing. She is with Sensei after all. Despite her… track record, Sensei has been on rather good behavior recently. Maybe I should head back to Trinity and-’

A massive explosion sounded, a huge cloud of dust and a horrific clucking sound following. The titanic form of Peroro stomped through the streets, lasers blasting from its eyes into the skies above. On said streets below, at least a few hundred smaller Peroro plushes roamed, terrorizing various citizens with smaller, non-lethal laser beams.

‘...Oh hello previous fears. Nice to see you were totally founded.’

Seia let out a sigh, looking upon the chaos.

“I foresaw this happening, so I came.” she reached back, raising her staff, “Eri. What you play with is no toy.”

“W-What do you know?”

Seia gripped the rod in her hands, swinging it before her.

“Zoltraak.”

A powerful beam suddenly blasted out from the staff, pulsing brightly as it drilled a clean hole through the gigantic towering beast before them.

The monstrous form of the plush let out a final roar, screaming to the skies above before exploding into a shower of light.

The smaller plushes on the road around her turned to face the glowing form of the Tea Party member as she stepped forwards, gripping her staff.

Digging around, she pulled a notebook from her coat pocket, flipping through it rapidly before finding a certain page.

The book’s pages pulsed, runes surrounding her. Swinging down the staff, the plushes suddenly flopped over anticlimactically with a chorus of squeaking sounds.

“There. All the animated plushes Eri brought to life have been successfully killed.”

“You mean un-animated.” Eri quietly piped up.

Seia turned to glare at her, before turning to Sensei, “I’ve been spending all day running after you two cleaning up all the messes this one has left behind.”

“Messes?”

Seia’s tired expression said everything that that needed to be said.

“...Ah. I guess… I am still in training…” Eri let out a nervous laugh, “B-But you were so cool! What did you just do!? Was that some kind of un-animation spell?”

“No. It was death.”

“...You mean like-”

“The instant kind.”

“...That-”

“Those things were alive. Now they are not. Sensei should be quite familiar with the concept.” Seia walked over, placing an arm on Sensei’s shoulder, “I merely tapped into some of the vestiges of Sensei’s power to accomplish this.”

“Nn. I did notice a slight fluctuation.” Sensei mused.

“Magic is not to be taken lightly.” Seia tucked her staff back behind her back, “In any case, for the sake of my sanity, please, for the love of roll cakes, get that mage under control before I’m forced to do something more serious.”

“H-Haah?! N-No way!” Eri protested, “Sensei hasn’t even seen my-”

“Eri. I have just cast a wide-range area of effect spell and fired a modified Killing Spell at a giant walking Peroro. This is not even mentioning all the other spells and/or physical acts of violence I had to perform today.” the fox-girl helpfully pointed out, “I am incredibly tired and there happens to be a walking near limitless source of literal, unfiltered, capital D, Death standing in channeling range. Choose your next words Very Carefully.”

“...I-I’ll uhh… Sh-show Sensei how to pull a rabbit out of a hat?”

“Correct.” Seia nodded, “Now. If there is nothing else I need to fix, I will be returning to Trinity.”

She raised an arm, waving it about. Eri’s eyes lit up. That light quickly died down when a simple taxi pulled up.

Seia climbed in, shot a ‘I’m watching you’ gesture at Eri, before the vehicle drove away.

Sensei helpfully patted Eri on her back, “You’ll get the hang of it someday.”

Yank.

“Sensei.”

“...Saki.”

“You should have called.”

“Sorry.”

“Please let go of me. It’s starting to hurt.”

“My apologies.”

Shove.

Chapter Text

“YOU GOTTA HIDE ME, KANOE!” Eri screamed, sprinting around the room and closing all the windows, slamming the door shut, “SHE’LL BE HERE ANY MOMENT!”

Kanoe, eternally calm and unsettling as ever, shook her head and went back to stirring her comically oversized cauldron of hot chocolate, “Eri, you can’t just barge into the room, scream that without context, and expect me to be able to help you.”

“Y-You don’t get it, do you!?” the mage dragged over a comically large bookshelf filled with grimoires (read: Eri doodle exercise books) before the door before frantically producing a mallet and nails, “I-I thought it’d never happen- there was no way that it could reasonably occur- no, this can’t-”

“Okay, firstly, breathe.”

Eri, halfway through nailing a wooden board onto the window, paused, taking a deep breath.

“Good. Now slow down and explain to me what’s going on.”

The mage let out a sigh, reaching into her pocket and producing a smartphone. It was tuned into the most recent (specifically, 19/10/25) Blue Archive developer livestream.

“Oh. Suzumi got an alternate costume.” Kanoe hummed, “Nice.”

“AND SO DID REISA!” Eri screeched, “REISA IS A MAGICAL GIRL NOW! AFTER I TOLD HER I COULDN’T MAKE HER ONE IN CHAPTER 4!”

“Awfully meta today, aren’t we?”

“She’s gonna be here any minute now to rub it in my face! After all the stuff I said about it being impossible and a terrible display of actual magic she somehow became an actual magical girl I NEED TO HIDE!”

“Eri, look… Reisa, for as excitable as she is, is a reasonable girl.” Kanoe dipped a mug into her cauldron, taking a sip before offering the drink to her mage junior, “She’s not going to storm Wild Hunt just because she gained magical superpowers just to rub it into your face.”

It was around this point an air raid siren began wailing throughout the dorms.

“ATTENTION ALL WILD HUNT STUDENTS. A FAST MOVING UNIDENTIFIED AIRCRAFT HAS ENTERED WILD HUNT AIRSPACE AND IS REFUSING TO TURN BACK. PLEASE REMAIN CALM.”

Eri raised an eyebrow as the anti-air cannons around the dorms roared to life, rhythmic muffled booming noises filling the air.

“Okay… Well, that could be any unidentified aircraft.”

“ATTENTION ALL WILD HUNT STUDENTS. PLEASE PROCEED TO THE-” the dorm intercom crackled, before an unfamiliar voice sounded, “This is Morizuki Suzumi of the Trinity Vigilante Crew. Shirao Eri, we know you’re in there. You cannot escape us forever. My associate wishes to speak with you.”

“Well that could be any memb-”

“It’s Uzawa Reisa. Reisa wants to talk to you. She's literally the only other member of the Vigilante Crew."

“Okay, well, tha-”

“We are literally outside your window, Kanoe. Please take off the wooden boards and stop denying reality. It is in vain. All is in vain. Vanity of vanities. Etcetera etcetera.”

“...I-”

“Person-who-is-gonna-get-flashbanged-say-what?”

“What?”

“SUPER NOT-ARIUS VANITY FLASHBANG GO!”

A flashbang promptly smashed through the window, landing in the hot chocolate cauldron and going off. The flash proceeded to blind everyone in the room.

Through her blurred vision, Eri could make out the wall of the room being blown open, and standing in the middle of the hole was…

Reisa smugly stood there, arms on her hips, her magical girl outfit sparkling fantastically in the night, “Heeeeeeey Eriiiiii~! Guess what?”

“No, STAY AWAY! NO! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DO THIS! I REFUSE TO LOOK AT YOU! YOU DON’T EXIST!” the mage screamed, pulling her hat down over her eyes, “STAY BACK! STAY BAAAACKKK!”

“We are going to do so much magic together! I need you to teach me everything!” Reisa quickly scooped up the mage, turning to Kanoe, “Hey, can I borrow her for a bit?!”

“...I haven’t had enough hot chocolate for this.” the unnaturally pale girl frowned, before scooping up another mug of the aforementioned beverage from her cauldron and taking a sip, “You youngsters move way too fast..."

“...Didn’t a flashbang go off in that?”

“Yes. Yes it did.” she took a long sip, “Hm. Not bad. But chaff tastes better anyway, so I’m giving this a 6/10.”

“I didn’t hear a no! LET’S GO, NEW BEST FRIEND! YAAAAAYYY!” Reisa screamed, leaping into the sky once more, smashing a hole in the roof of the building, “MAGICAL REISA UP UP AND AWAAAAYYY!”

“KANOE WHYYYYYYYYY” Eri wailed as she was literally spirited away out the roof. "NO I DON'T WANT TO BECOME A MASCOT!!!!"

As Suzumi observed her comrade rocket away into the heavens, she slowly turned her attention to the remaining Wild Hunt student, “… They don’t pay me enough for this.”

Kanoe held out a second cup to her, “Want some? The gunpowder really adds to it.”

The Trinity student shrugged, took a seat on a nearby pile of books and took up the mug. Taking a long sip from it…

“...No it really doesn’t, this tastes terrible.”

“Yeah. I was just messing with you.”

“Also I’m here!” Rabu yelled, waving her arms around excitedly, “Didn’t think I’d be playable did you!?”

After a few headpats and a cookie, she would be sent on her way.