Work Text:
It’s a damn good thing that Steve doesn’t let Twitter send him notifications.
Steve wakes up, goes for a run, and makes himself breakfast before any of his friends wake up. He’s just sitting down to eat his superhuman-sized breakfast when he gets his first text from Nat.
Nat: On my way over. Don’t go on Twitter until I get there.
Naturally, Steve is very confused. He wasn’t planning on opening Twitter, but now he thinks he might have to, just to see what’s going on.
me: Why not?
She doesn’t answer within the first minute, and Steve is getting anxious. He decides to text the only person he trusts to a) give him a straight answer and b) be awake. Tony.
me: What’s going on on Twitter that made Nat tell me not to go on it?
Tony: r u sure you wanna know?
me: Yes. Tell me.
Tony sends him a screenshot of the trending hashtag “#SayNoToHYDRACap.” Steve is even more confused.
me: What happened
Tony: find out for yourself cap
He opens up Twitter, and it seems like the world has exploded. There are only a few things that he can figure out between all the rapid-fire tweeting and tagging him. 1) the comic book based off his life has gone completely off the rails and said that he’s been a HYDRA agent all along. 2) the internet is very angry about it.
Normally, Steve is fine with whatever shit people want to say about him - you can’t become a superhero as big as Captain America without rustling some feathers and making some mistakes that people call you out for all the time on Twitter.
This, though. This is a whole new ball game. And Steve is pissed .
He pulls up the Avengers group text without a second thought.
me: Emergency meeting. Tower. Now.
~~~
“Ok, Cap, I know this is a big deal for you, but let’s just calm down and think about it for a second,” Tony says at their meeting.
“No, Tony, I will not calm down, because -”
“And he doesn’t need to!” Sam interjects. “They’ve taken everything that he stands for and turned it on its head!”
“Even if they’re just doing it as a publicity stunt to sell more comics,” Steve begins again, “There is no way this is right.” He crosses his arms over his chest and sinks into a chair.
“No one said it was right, Steve,” Natasha says. Steve opens his mouth again, but quickly closes it again when Bruce starts talking.
“I know this isn’t what you stand for, Steve, but we have to make sure we aren’t acting irrationally for a second. They’ll only take you so seriously if we march up to the comic book headquarters demanding them to fix their mistake, no matter how disrespectful or horrible that mistake may be.”
“Fans are already going insane,” Tony says, looking up from his tablet for a second. “They’ve moved on from the general twitter hashtag to spamming the comic book author with hate mail. And it seems they’re making another new hashtag, Next Marvel Plot Twist or something, that lists a ton of other ridiculous comic-selling plot twists they could use.”
“Some of these are pretty damn funny, too,” Clint comments, having just found the hashtag.
“What are we going to do? I’m not just going to sit idly by typing angrily at people all day, I want to do something. Something to make this go away and save the name of Captain America.” Steve is too angry to think of a plan himself, but that’s why he called all his friends together.
“You already know my plan,” Sam says. “Grab as many angry fans as we can and go burn down the goddamn building.”
“How about we hold a press conference to condemn their actions,” suggests Bruce.
“We can send a big ‘Fuck You’ note to that writer guy. Attached to an explosive arrow, naturally,” Clint half-jokes.
“Can’t you take your name back from them, legally?” Tony asks, scrubbing his face trying to think of an answer.
“I think I have a plan, guys,” Natasha says with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
~~~
The next morning, bright and early, the Avengers and their supporters are gathered outside the building that houses Marvel Comics. They have set up a press conference, and the event has already drawn a huge crowd, necessitating the closure of several city blocks to make space for passionate fans and rabid reporters. Steve is dressed in his Captain America uniform, and the rest of the Avengers flank him wearing his merchandise.
Steve steps up to the podium and takes a deep breath. Fans go crazy and start cheering. The cheers morph into a chant of “Cap’s Not Hydra,” before Steve tries to calm them down. He laughs.
“That’s right, everybody. I’m definitely NOT Hydra. Do you think all these superheroes would be up here supporting me if I were?” Steve gestures at all his friends behind him, all standing and representing Steve proudly. “I do have something to say, though, about how inconsiderate and downright disrespectful this new “plot twist” is, if you all want to hear about it.” He is met with wild applause.
By the end of Steve’s speech, the comic books have all been pulled from the shelves, the plot has been changed so that the real Steve Rogers was kidnapped and the “Hail Hydra Steve” is an imposter, and future copies have been edited to make it more obvious that the Nazi-sympathizer “Steve Rogers” was definitely not the Steve Rogers everyone knows and loves.