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2:39 AM
The clock taunts him. It does nothing but sit there and remind Erik of all the time he’s wasted. He thinks he’s been trying to fall asleep for exactly an hour and twenty-four, no now twenty-five minutes. Everything is hopeless.
2:40 AM
He makes the stupid decision to roll over and paw at his phone, dragging it off the bedside table. He really shouldn’t. His thumb hovers over the contacts button, so close yet so far. He grits his teeth, opens the app after agonizing over it for a minute too long. Erik’s hand blindly reaches out in search of that stupid cat, exhaling shakily as his fingers brush fake fur.
The little calico all dressed in colors bright enough to blind someone is pulled to his chest. Sunflower shirt that Nil had picked out, scratchy little overalls too cute to pass up. It’s not the most comfortable to snuggle,
it is by itself- it’s just the clothes!
That doesn’t matter now though.
Erik sniffles as he brings up Nil’s contact, for once not hesitating to click the call button.
3:00 AM
Yeah, Nil is going to kill him for this.
He holds his breath as the phone rings. Once, twice, after the third ring he loses hope that the other is even awake. He goes to hang up, thinks being sent to voicemail right now will only make him feel more alone.
“Erik?” It’s a muffled rasp from the other end. “Do you know what time it is?”
Erik swallows hard. Just hearing that voice, no matter how tired or how annoyed he sounds, eases the knot in his chest. “Sorry,” he thinks he might mean it.
“I really miss you,” Erik mumbles into the phone. His voice is a little rough and Nil wonders if he’s been crying. He squeezes that stupid little cat plush tighter to his chest as he hears Nil yawn. Fuck, he shouldn’t have called.
“Oh, Baby,” Nil quietly murmurs, words slurred as his brain still tries to wake up. He rolls onto his back, “It’s only been a week,” he says with a frown.
“I know,” Erik grumbles. He runs his hand through his hair, roughly rubs at his eyes as they once again start to gather tears. “I feel stupid. And selfish. And.. Fuck, I wish I went with you.”
“No you don’t,” Nil murmurs out, sounding more coherent now. “My bed barely fits me.” He tries to stretch out only to end up accidentally kicking the bedpost, proving his point albeit painfully. “Fuck,” Nil hisses which gets a snort from the man on the other end.
“Would’ve had you sleeping on the floor.” He grunts as he shifts again on the bed. The old mattress squeals unhappily with the movement. Same old, same old.
“Why not the couch?”
“Nobody deserves to sleep on that thing,” he answers with a small smile. “My bed is bad but that’s worse.” Even as the springs currently digging into his back seem to want to argue otherwise.
There’s a content silence that passes over the line, settles between the two. It’s easy this way, to pretend they’re sharing the same bed rather than being miles apart. Nil tries to keep his eyes open even as sleep calls to him. Staring up at his ceiling does little to help. Glow in the dark stars he had placed almost twelve years ago still faintly give off a light. Even his old fan hums away in the corner. It’s just as he left it.
Nothing here has changed, but God has he. His stomach twists painfully at the realization, letting his eyes flutter shut. This is a home, his home. So why does he feel like this?
“Erik?” Nil murmurs, half expecting the other to be asleep at this point. He can hear the blankets rustling on the other end of the receiver. “Yeah?” He gets a quiet answer.
“I miss you too.”
Erik smiles at the quiet admission, tucking his face into the softness of the plush. It still faintly smells of Nil, vanilla and home . “I’m glad you called,” Nil tells him.
“Even though I woke you up?” Erik can’t help but press his luck. Even half asleep he’s still a little shit. It’s worth it to hear Nil’s breathy laugh.
Nil tries to muffle it with the back of his hand. The last thing he wants is to wake his parents. “I’ll forgive you eventually,” he settles on. Erik pouts at that, groans when he remembers Nil can’t see him. “You’re so mean to me.”
Nil is too tired to even roll his eyes. “Changed my mind,” he murmurs. “Should’ve sent your ass to voicemail.”
“Mm you love me,” Erik hums back. And yeah, yeah he does. Even if he doesn’t want to admit it.
“Goodnight, Erik,” Nil whispers out.
Erik’s quiet for a moment, rubbing his thumb over the paw of the stuffed cat in his arms. He just listens to the sound of Nil’s breathing and when he can’t drag it out anymore he finally murmurs, “Goodnight, Nil. Hope your father gets better.”
“Shut up,” Nil snorts, “Don’t. He’ll die out of spite.” Erik will never admit to the giggle that escapes him. “He hates me that much?” He tries to not let the thought affect him.
“Goodnight, Erik,” Nil repeats instead. Erik huffs, makes a dramatic kissy noise, “Goodnight, Nil.”
Nil cracks a single eye open to make sure his thumb is hovering over the end call button. It takes a minute, two, three. He hesitates until finally he relents and presses the red button. Erik is already asleep before he can hear the disconnecting sound.