Work Text:
"I know I can trust you." - Jin
Those words, in Jin's handwriting, showing up with his name on it.
Jin.
Jay wasn't sure he'd ever get over this. The way it happened, not being able to help his friend, or knowing what was going on. It hurt, more than he thought it would.
And yet, through all this, Jin thought of him. He trusted him. Til his last breath.
He couldn't be sure if it was ridiculous or the most warming thing ever.
Bittersweet, maybe.
Nothing would bring him back. No amount of praying, or wishing there would be a time warp and he'd get to hear his voice in a ways that wasn't total distress. Even with Stillwater behind bars, it only healed the superficial layer of pain.
It'd never repair the damage, or the loss.
Nothing ever did truly heal the blows Jay had to his heart emotionally.
And Voight would never give him back that drive either. All he knew was that it had all the evidence that was used to put his case to rest, and bring his killer to justice.
Jay tried to reason with himself that maybe it was a good thing he never listened to the tapes himself. He wouldn't have been able to stand it. Hearing Jin in distress, receiving death threats and being forced by a corrupt IA officer to do something he hadn't wanted to. Just to protect his father.
At least he hadn't wanted to betray the team. That was the only comfort he got from it.
Sometimes he swore he saw Jin in the usual places. At work. At bars. In the most random places of Chicago. Jay wondered if he was hallucinating, to convince himself it hadn't actually happened, and Jin was just on a long vacation... If he knew any better, he'd think he was going insane.
The funeral made it all the more real.
Seeing his coffin, his grave stone with his name on it...
Sheldon Jin.
It felt so personal. Considering he'd seen a lot throughout his life already, every time he did lose someone he cared about, it teared away at the invisible barrier he put up to try and protect himself.
Time would have to move on, and so would he... but that piece of him, that had stuck with Jin when he chose to trust him with that drive.. it would stay with him. For as long as he'll allow it.
He framed that letter, once it was released from evidence. The envelope and the letter, he kept in a frame, tucked away in a safe. He'd always keep it with him, like a piece of his friend. Deep down, he'd liked to think that he was the closest friend Sheldon had in the unit.
Trust was always a big thing. Especially within the Intelligence Unit. He wouldn't forget that. Ever.
I trusted you too.