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Takumi's confession ultimately amounts to nothing and to everything all at once.
Takumi is X. Takumi isn't X. Both outcomes just as likely and neither of them is a lie or their truth until they open the lid on this mystery, unravelling the identity of the one at the center of it all. But the lid stays firmly on, mystery unresolved, Takumi stuck inside the box. An enemy and a friend at the same time.
It's exhilarating. And the multitudes of Takumi Sumino don't end there. He's a predator, a threat, a danger to be eliminated. He is also a prey, running as he's being chased, being lured right into the trap that the hunter who wants to catch him most set for him.
Yugamu doesn't do this for people he hasn't gotten intimately close with. But Takumi is a special one. There's something about him, a certain pull Yugamu cannot deny feeling that makes him want to carve him open and consume him entirely. That draws his gaze to their leader whenever the boy walks into a room, that makes him salivate when he sees that adorable blushing face of his, be it from embarrassment or from anger. It's a shame that they haven't gotten to connect in a way Yugamu would love for them to, but tonight that can change. Tonight is an opportunity granted to him on a silver platter.
He will stop Takumi, X, the enemy. Catch the person he's supposed to hate and instill fear of death into him, introducing him to world of sensations the boy has never known before. He will save Takumi, the innocent one, the friend. He will let him live, show him mercy like an assassin like him isn't meant to, and he will bring him back home to everyone, as Takumi is their beloved ally and leader.
Whatever the truth, tonight is the night that ties them together, that shifts something between them. It's so sensual in its nature that merely thinking about it could make him climax, if he indulged in his thoughts for too long.
But there is no time for daydreaming, not when the real thing finally appears. Then the curtain rises and it's show time — with his partner yet unaware of the act they're about to put on together, but that makes it all the more exciting. What is a performance without surprises?
If only Yugamu knew that the surprise was meant for him as well and that just like Takumi, he was holding an incomplete script in his hands.
Yugamu is a seasoned assassin. He doesn't miss. He successfully kills who he means to kill and he doesn't kill those he doesn't intend to. Not anymore. He's no longer a child stumbling over his mistakes. He's a professional.
Then why…?
It's not a job. It isn't just work and maybe that's why it's different. Why Yugamu doesn't do it like an expert would, why he makes a mistake. He lets himself get caught up in the thrill of the chase, in the fast beating of his heart and the pulsing blood in his veins as all his eyes can see is Takumi, Takumi, Takumi—
And then it isn't. Nozomi is the one standing in front of him, crying out in pain, Yugamu's blade sunk deep into her flesh. The world slows down as the realization dawns upon him that he's hurt someone he never meant to hurt, someone who would never want to be hurt by him, one of the first friends he's ever made.
This… isn't how this was supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to be here. He didn't mean to do this, it's not his—
It's okay. He can fix this. The Revive-o-matic won't work on her, which is bad, but she's not dead yet. He knows how to take lives. He knows all the ways in which people don't die too. She's standing still. Good. If they can just get her back to school safely and without removing the knife before Yugamu has a way to—
But just as the world slowed down when she appeared, it speeds back up again, fast like his heartbeat, when he looks at Takumi.
In an instant, Yugamu understands that they're not making it back to the academy together.
There's fury in Takumi's eyes as he charges at him. Cold, intense passion as their bodies collide, the sort of desperation Yugamu never once imagined having directed at him by this boy. It's beautiful. It leaves him breathless.
His heart aches.
It makes him shiver in delight to be the object of Takumi's hatred but it makes him want to drown in despair that there's not a shred of love to accompany it.
He's not Takumi's first kill. He's not his most significant one. Perhaps he won't even be his last.
He wonders briefly how it felt for Eito Aotsuki to be killed by their leader. How it felt for Takumi, to be taking his life. Of a traitor, of someone he once trusted, taking revenge for the bond shattered to pieces, scattered and lost. He wonders what kind of bond Takumi shared with him, with Yugamu. If they shared one at all. If the loathing is on the behalf of the girl Takumi wants to protect, if any of it is because of the Yugamu he once knew. If this kill could compare. If there's any history between them too. He never had a chance to ask. Takumi is the only one who knows how he feels about Yugamu and who could know how Yugamu would have felt about him, given the chance. He's the only one who saw it all through to the end, who lived to a day 100 Yugamu had once gotten to see but won't ever again, not in a way that'll remember happening.
As he thinks that, another emotion burns inside him. His body kicks into action and Yugamu resists, pushing back against Takumi.
Yugamu isn't afraid of death, but as he thinks of all the questions he'll never get an answer to, he realizes with a shocking clarity that he doesn't want it either. There's more at stake right now than the disappointing conclusion to their story that never got to properly begin. Perhaps Takumi isn't X, but that hardly matters if he'll take everything away from Yugamu all the same.
He wants to live. He wants to save Nozomi. He wants to protect Kurara and Kyoshika and Moko. He wants to protect humanity and for once, know how it feels to help build something rather than destroy. He wants to return and keep his promise to her. If Takumi stands in the way of that, Yugamu won't stand and take it.
Sorry leader, but you had your chance to see day 100, Yugamu thinks. Now it's my turn.
This time, when he fights Takumi, it's finally with a true intent to kill. It's not a dance he had planned for them tonight, but if his partner chose to take the lead instead, Yugamu will gladly adjust.
He supposes that's how it is with death. No matter how well-acquainted you are with it in life, it's never quite in your control and it comes for you without warning, as it does for everyone.
They dance messily. No choreography known to either of them. Out of sync with each other. Wild, unrestrained chaos, with nothing but adrenaline and instinct to dictate their moves.
There is nothing but him and his victim, his murderer. Two at a same time, just like he wanted — until it isn't.
And then there is nothing. One misstep too many and they burn, Yugamu disappearing in purple flames, consumed as one with the boy he once had known, in a future that will never come to pass.