Work Text:
kin and kon and laney are in the garage (shocker) and its summer (fuck do they have that in canda) its really hot in the garage so theyhre all just laying there on the stage arguing about skittles and theres like a candy bowl over there but its soo far away and out of reach so when one of them tries to reach it it falls over and theres skittles and its like UUGHHHH
trina: *pulls into the driveway* “oh thank god corey isnt here” she gets
out of her car
“hey it’s me corey”
then corey comes in (or should i say comes OUT) and hes like “wow you guys are already on my wavelength Yeahh rainbows”
Laney: “what are you talking about”
Corey: “it’s pride month and you know we’re always here to capitalize on the conditional acceptance of the subjugated!”
Laney: “what? but we’re not gay”
kin: “i used to be a girl”
everyone: “WHAT?!”
Kin: “i thought you knew”
Kon: “isnt that biologically impossible?? dude we’re twins” kin shrugs
corey comes back on screen with the most awful target pride merch and its just like ugghhh
laney: “im not wearing that dude!! this is weird!! these arent our experiences!!!”
corey: “don’t worry buddy i got a sensitivity reader” pulls nick mallory into the garage
nick mallory: “Nick Mallory swings both ways.”
in trinas room mina overhears
mina: “hey trina nick’s going to the pride festival tonight”
trina: “omg no way is he like totally an ally”
mina: “well… he said he” *starts swinging arms*
trina: “what??”
mina: “Nick Mallory swings both ways.”
trina: *gasp* “double the competition! but it’s fine because i’m clearly the best option out of every girl AND boy in peaceville.”
mina: “they don’t let you in the festival if you’re straight.”
trina: “WHAT!! how could i possibly prove that!! i’ll just say we’re t4t.”
mina: *looking at phone* “straights banned, t4t no exception.”
trina: “ugh… mina brainstorm with me”
very intense brainstorming
mina: “trina what if we pretend to be gay together”
trina: “ew barf!”
mina: “it would just be for the entrance!! after we prove it you can head straight for nick
trina: *gasp* “mina, if i pretend to be totally in lesbians with you Nick is gonna be so impressed at how much we have in common!!”
mina: “that’s right”
corey muffled from the garage: “THEY DON’T LET YOU IN IF YOU’RE STRAIGHT?!?”
trina looks mad
garage
kin: “it says that pretty big on the flyer”
corey: “WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!?!? HOW DO WE PROVE WE’RE GAY ENOUGH?!? LANEY BRAINSTORM WITH ME” shaking laney
crazy brainstorming
meanwhile kon sees the skittles all over the stage “hmmm….”
laney: *still being shaken* “uhhh you should pretend to go out with nick mallory and he can be in our show or something”
corey: “ew no trinas hands have been all over him that feels weird”
nick: *leaning on garage wall* “Nick Mallory doesn’t dig middle schoolers.”
*gross sound and sparkles* camera swipe
kon throws up rainbows
corey: “THAT’S IT!!! youre a genius kon!! nothing’s more gay than puking rainbows!!!! that’ll be our proof to get in the festival!!”
kon: “well that was the last of our candy” *looking in the bowl*
corey: “nah ive got a quarter-lifetime supply somewhere” *starts digging around*
trina: “looking for this?” in her car and the backseat is full of candy
everyones gasps and then trina drives away
kon: “CATCH HER!!!”
everyone except nick mallory runs out of the garage and they find trinas car waiting for other cars to pass at a 4 way stop in a 25 zone
corey jumps on to the side of the car and starts trying to pull the door open “ughhhh come on!!!”
trina: “stop being HOMOPHOBIC corey. im TRYING to get my lez on!!!”
mina is in the passenger seat, blushes
corey: “WHAT?!?”
trina drives off
laney: “this is bad!!! if she makes it to the festival before us we won’t be able to catch her!!”
kon: “she’s taking our proof!!”
kin: “and she’s gayer than us!!!!”
[TRINA’S GONNA LEZ ON OUT]
at the festival
gay barney lets people in or kicks them away to the evil looking straight chamber
mina: “okay trina it’s time. remember, it’s only for a few minutes” she grabs trinas hand and trina looks disgusted but then determined
she thinks (do it for nick, do it for nick!)
the two of them move up in the line
gay barney: “oh hey there kids! i didnt know BOTH the riffin siblings went that way!”
trina: “WHAT- i mean haha yeah!” (COREY WHAT ARE YOU PULLING)
barney squints at them “well hand-holding’s cute and all but yous must know about our strict no-straight policy…”
mina: “of course we know!” she looks for something in her pocket and pulls out some papers “we do everything together, we synchronized our schedules so we would never be apart!” she goes through the papers “and i always keep these pictures of us on me so in case something happened and we weren’t together, i could still see her!”
while mina is talking trina sees nick mallory walking over with grojband and starts getting embarrassed but she can’t say anything
barney: “hmmm i see, that kind of love sounds pretty true… but “pretty” isn’t enough for our policy. if yous two can give me your best, mushiest (high-pitched voice) ‘i wuv you’s, you’re in.”
trina starts sweating, cutting between her face and nick as he starts getting in line.
mina: “i love you, trina!” she hugs her
trina: *stuttering* “uhh, i l- luh–” she keeps looking at nick
the music crescendos
trina: “uhhh uhh”
barney squinting
trina sweating
barney: “hmmm…”
barney: “i’ve heard enough. true love should come right off your tongue!!””
trina: “no! wait!!” she tries to get out of minas arms “you have to make an exception!! you don’t understand!!”
barney: “off to the straight chamber with you.”
barney presses a button and trina falls into a hole in the ground (mina stays)
trina: “this isn’t the straight chamber this is the SEWERS!!! NICK!! NICK!!! HELP ME!!!!”
she bangs at the walls
trina: “COME ON!!! COME ON!!! HETS!! NEED!!! LOVE!! TOOOOOO!!!!!!!”
*diary mode:*
trina flies back up smashing up through the road. the sky turns red and the rainbow in the sky (theres a rainbow inthe sky btw) fades away. fire everywhere, when she drops her pen at the end it ricochets off several objects before hitting the door handle of her car and it opens (idk how cars work) and the candy goes everywhere
laney and kin and kon run to the car while corey catches the diary
PERFORMANCE
grojband are wearing the horrible pride merch and they perform under a giant rainbow above the stage
the song:
i love just like you
i shouldn’t have to hide
you pushed me into the dark
but i’m gonna get back my priiideee
my pride is a fire you won't smother
and it will not go underrr
i bleed just like you
i’m not ever gonna lie
don’t hate me for my hue
or you’re gonna face off with my priiideee
my pride is a skyscraper castle
covered in colored tasselssss
i won’t lose to your hate
i’m proud to be GAYYYY!!!!
(everyone pukes rainbows)
performance outfits:
Love loses