Chapter Text
seungcheol woke up in a cold room. an oxygen mask over his mouth and monitors humming next to him. He opened his eyes to the empty hospital wall with a dry mouth and grogginess in his head. he was alone. he had been alone since he came to the hospital for his surgery. his leg. he looked at his left leg. It felt heavy, almost like a sandbag, but more than anything, it didn’t feel his.
he tried moving his toes but it didn’t work. there was no pain, he remembered the doctor talking about a nerve block before the surgery. there wasn’t pain but there was this numb, buzzing emptiness in the room that filled his lungs when he breathed. he finally looked around the room, paying more attention to his surroundings. his bag was where he had left it the first time he came to the room.
the room wasn’t bright, more muted, the kind of lighting that made everything feel heavier. blinds were drawn but there was a strand of the moon light spilling across his bed, over his legs from the little place the blind couldn’t reach. it was dark and pretty outside. the empty, cold walls were surrounding him instead. he missed his members. oh, how he missed them.
they couldn’t be together before the surgery as all of them going to one place would set off alarms in fans mind. he glanced at the clock. The digital clock glared in the darkness. it’s red numbers were flickering too bright for a room that smelled of emptiness and quiet, being the only sign of life in a room otherwise emptied of it.
04.05 AM
he closed his eyes and listened to his breathing, not rushed and calm. he missed this. he loved his job, carats and his members more than anything but he craved quiet. a small smile tugged itself across his dry and cracked lips. he opened his eyes once again to see the same scenery again. A deep, untroubled tiredness filled his mind, each breath slower than the last, each heartbeat gentle and distant as if it was giving him space.
His body grew heavy, his limbs impossibly heavy. the heaviness felt almost soothing, like sinking into a warm quiet. his thoughts slowed but he never once stopped thinking about how excited he was to see his members again. there was a strange peace in the stillness. the smile that left earlier spread across his face once again. small, peaceful and loving. and especially quiet. he had been looking for this. this quiet was what he needed the most.
he was getting excited to talk to his members about how nice his sleep was but the heavy feeling in his chest stopped his excitement from getting too much. there was this soft, unresisting heaviness in his eyes, as if they had decided it was time to rest and weren’t in any hurry to open again. he let them close slowly, he wanted to feel the quiet silence of the non-rushed world. his smile got smaller as his face relaxed and his lips parted but it never left. he wanted to talk to his members soon, he was so excited to see them as he let the gentle heaviness close his eyes.
04.30 AM