Chapter Text
He was just there, no ground to stand on, no edge to hold on to, no light to see around him, and no sound to hear...
He is there....
Where?...
What is this?...
Out of nowhere, a person appeared, surrounded by a bright and warm light. He knows him. He has seen him before, but he doesn't remember where?
He's talking, what's he saying? I can't hear him. I opened my mouth to speak, what's happening? Where am I? What is this place? How long have I been here? But nothing comes out. I raised my hand to hold him, but it refused to move. What's going on? Why is he moving away? Wait, wait, please, don't leave me here. I'm... scared... No!...
...
...
"Painful, my head hurts... ah... cold..."
A hand grabbed my hand, moving it away from this cold thing. Is this a towel? Is it cold? Who is this?
"Ahhh..... painful, painful"
I started screaming as soon as I saw these memories, and someone was splitting my head open and pouring them in. Madblood, no, I'm sorry, Lily, hide them, hide them all, always, Potter, take her....
Four days later:
I sit on the doorstep of my old house in Spinner's End, or is it my current one? It doesn't matter. Today is the 13th of January, 1968. Four days ago was my ninth birthday, and unlike previous years, something special happened... I was on the verge of death, no wait, that wasn't the special thing, it was the vision, or was it a long dream? Well, it doesn't really matter. I saw my future. It was dark and scary. I want to ignore it and continue as if it were just a nightmare, but no, it was too detailed, too realistic to ignore.
"Severus, come inside, it's cold, you'll get a fever again."
A faint, cold voice came from behind. It must be my mother. I must have been so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't notice her. I looked at her coldly. I haven't spoken to her. I've been silent since all this started, because everything was confusing and still is. My feelings of anger, fear, sadness, and disappointment have been controlling me all this time, but the largest part is confusion. I still don't know what to do with all these memories? I want to run away, I want to hide, I want to give up on the world that I longed to be an important part of, but.... this annoying voice inside me refuses to give it up, give them up, and also....
I felt someone grab my arm and pull me inside. I raised my head and cringed. It was my mother, and her face showed signs of annoyance because I ignored her. Well, I'm also annoyed with you, for many reasons:
First: Why did you marry this filthy Muggle?
Second: Why haven't you left him after everything he's done?
Third: Why did you leave and abandon me?
And... and... I started to cry, damn this body and its weak control over its emotions. She surrounded me and hugged me to her chest.
"It's okay..., the pain is gone..., you're okay."
She spoke stiffly, trying to calm me down. I hugged her tightly. I want to hide in her arms. I don't want anything, just her, just my mother. She took me to my room and put me in my dilapidated bed. I tried to stand up, but I clung to her and I'm still crying quietly. She sighed and slept next to me. I crawled into her arms and clung to her. She started patting my back gently and stroking my hair. I tried to stay awake, but my eyes started to close and I started to doze off slowly.
....
....
I woke up after a while and peered through the crack in the newspapers covering my window. It was dark, and faint moonlight was seeping in. It seemed I'd slept all day, and my mum had left ages ago. I ignored the feeling of disappointment I felt; I'm an adult, I blamed this useless little body. I busied myself listening to see if my parents were awake, but the house was very quiet, only my dad's snores, which the walls failed to muffle. I moved to my small desk in the corner and took out a notebook and pen from my schoolbag. I've had enough of sleeping and crying these days. Now I must plan and prepare for what's to come. I won't live this bleak life, and I will achieve my goal of having a life, money, and a beautiful home. After writing down all the important events and things I've seen, I will now jot down the main goals I need to carry out:
First: Stay away from Lily Evans.
It's true that I only know her from the memories I've gained, and I don't have any strong feelings like those in the memories, which makes it easier, but this is for the best. I hurt her, and she hurt me, and also, considering the reason for our frequent disagreements, which will contradict my next goal.
Second: Keep them away from the path of darkness that destroyed you and them. If I have a second chance, they deserve one too. I'm talking about Bruce Mulciber, Evan Rosier, Edmund Avery, Wilham Wilkes, Regulus Black, Barty Crouch Jr.
Third: Become friends with Charity Burbage and Aurora Sinistra, and protect them. They were the best friends I ever had.
Fourth: Deal cleverly with the stupid Marauders. Don't make the same mistakes.
Fifth: Get rid of the Horcruxes and defeat Voldemort, and prevent the disasters that will happen in the wizarding world. It's true that I'm just a child, but I have a lot of information about him, and that's the most powerful weapon anyone can possess.
The sixth and final goal: I hate to say it, but I will improve my appearance. Despite not caring about this, others do, and let's not forget that this is what caused me all the problems in my school years, from the Marauders' bullying to the professors' neglect and my circle of friends consisting of only Lily, which, if she didn't come from the same place I live, this friendship wouldn't have happened. Admitting that hurts, but it's the truth. Right, we'll fix this nose and treat it properly, take care of these yellow teeth, take care of this greasy hair, and gain some weight...
Wait...
I need money to do all this. It's true that I can make my products professionally; I'm the best potion maker, but these potions need ingredients to make them, and these ingredients need to be shopped for, and shopping requires money to do it. Blast the money! I'll need a way to get it, but it's okay; I live in an area that doesn't penalise child labour, so I'll try to find a job tomorrow and see what I'll do. And now I'm going to sleep; despite all the sleep I've had these days, I still feel tired and sluggish.
"Ugh..."
Never mind, I lay flat on my bed, and as soon as I put my head down, I started to doze off.
To be continued...