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Fuuta Kajiyama wasn’t used to thinking about his family, and for a good reason too. There just wasn’t much to talk about; his father was a good-for-nothing, his mother left them after the divorce, and his older sister was doing her own thing. Besides, he was living alone in Tokyo before prison.
That was the case until, of course, Amane scolded him about it.
“Haven’t your parents taught you any better, Fuuta Kajiyama?”
He shrugged it off with a dismissive ‘yeah, I know’ at the time, but the more he pondered on it, the more he noticed that they hadn’t taught him any better. Not at all. They were an average family, keeping their distance from one another. Looking back, he wondered if you could even call that a family.
It was true that he envied Killcheroy in many ways, and her family was one of them. His mind went back to the day of the funeral; people gathered over the loss of a life, a loss he had selfishly caused. Even now, as he tried to repent, he wondered what would have happened if that had been him? Would his father and sister even have bothered to visit his grave? And his mother… he wondered if she would have even cared.
A part of him hoped she would have; she probably cared for him before leaving. If those memories were just the product of pure childhood naivety, he didn’t want to know. Part of him still wanted to feel like that motherly love was real, even if it was just a farce.
He had to believe that he had a home; he had just lost his way from it many, many years ago.
—-
The days in prison after his interrogation passed him by without much happening. His verdict didn’t make him any more anxious than he already was, nor did he hope for a positive resolution; he was done playing into Milgram’s traps, and the only way he could resist that system was by not caring anymore. Even if death was awaiting him, he had no choice but to accept that trial too.
That person had taught him well, he thought.
As he was thinking of ways to repay Amane for her stubborn kindness, he saw a potted plant near Mahiru’s cell. He hadn’t paid much attention to it before, but it was withering and growing weaker with each day. It hadn’t been watered or cared for, not for a while… probably ever since Mahiru had died.
Even if that person had done the wrong thing by killing Shidou, he knew for a fact that Mahiru’s passing wasn’t something Amane desired. He saw it in her eyes when Mahiru’s condition got worse; Amane was struggling. Her prayers had also turned more desperate after her death, her smiles rarer.
An idea began to form in his head. Even if he couldn’t entirely repay that person, he decided he would try and make her life a little bit brighter, one smile at a time.
—-
“Why are we here?” Amane asked, as Fuuta led her to the Panopticon kitchen area.
“It’s not a surprise if I tell you now.” He said, as he made sure that the potted plant was where he had left it. A part of him was scared someone would have noticed him moving the pot from outside Mahiru’s cell to the kitchen, but luckily that wasn’t the case.
“It doesn’t have to be a surprise if… Wait.” Amane stopped herself. “Is that Mahiru’s plant? Why? Why isn’t it…?”
This was Fuuta’s cue.
“Why isn’t it beside her cell, you mean?” He said as Amane looked sadly at the plant. “Well. I thought about how no one was taking care of it and…”
“...How that can be changed.” He said as he handed Amane a green water jug that was hidden behind the kitchen counter, as well as a big plant encyclopedia.
Amane stayed silent, looking methodically at the book and passing her hand through its hardback cover.
“Ah, right. I almost forgot…” Fuuta took another hidden water jug, this one red in color. “I got one for me too. Y’know, so I don’t have to bother you for the jug if you forget one day.”
He noticed that Amane wasn’t saying anything still. Before he could even ask anything, he heard her starting to cry. Fuuta started panicking.
“Fuck, you don’t like it?” He realized that was not a good question to ask a little bit too late. Despite that, he saw Amane starting to calm her tears.
“It’s not that. It’s just…” She chuckled in between tears. “Today is not my birthday. I can’t accept this.”
“Eh? Why not?” Fuuta shook his head in disbelief. “That’s why you are crying? It doesn’t have to be your birthday for you to get a gift.”
“I haven’t done anything remarkable lately, either.” Amane refuted.
“You have helped me be better. I think that’s pretty remarkable.” Fuuta said. “Besides, you can get other people gifts just because, y’know?”
Amane didn’t have an immediate response for that one.
“No… I didn’t know, no.” She said quietly, after a couple of seconds. “Before Milgram, my father was travelling, and my mother… she rewarded me, sometimes.”
‘Rewarded’. He didn’t know the full scope of Amane’s past, but this gave him pause. Were the only true gifts she received birthday presents? She was in elementary school, for god’s sake! Couldn’t her mother give her something to read, at least? Even his sister was more affectionate to him.
He realized right there and then that if no one would be there for her, he would stay by her side.
“Well, let’s do it this way, then. This isn’t a gift; this is a trial to, eh… Keep this plant alive!” God, he was bad at this. “...Or something. Now you can’t refuse, can you?”
Amane looked at him in shock. After what seemed like an eternity, she giggled, wiping away some leftover tears. “Maybe you are right; I can’t refuse. Besides,” she continued “it would be rude to refuse it now.”
Fuuta smiled triumphantly. “I knew you would get it.” He put his hand up for a high-five. “C’mon, don’t leave me hanging.”
She looked at his raised hand with a smile and high-fived him. “Thank you, Fuuta Kajiyama. You are growing to be a good follower of God.” She took the potted plant in her hands. “Help me bring this to where it was before. I think… I think it would help her spirit.”
Fuuta nodded. He took the two water jugs and the book in his arms as he followed Amane.
He was very probably doomed to fall in the end, but despite it all, he had to be grateful for a couple of things; his newfound resolve being one of them.
Wondering if that warm feeling of care and respect was what a ‘family’ was supposed to be, he followed Amane. If anything, he would at the very least try to make her feel safer, a protection of sorts.
And isn’t that just a home?