Chapter Text
Papyrus stood on the edge of Snowdin. Yes, this was truly a much better way to capture the human. An even playing field, giving the human a proper chance to defend themselves.
Although it would be a futile effort (as there was no way The Great Papyrus could lose to such a small creature) the human would have the satisfaction of knowing they tried their very best. They would then begrudgingly shake his hand, declaring that they would train even harder and defeat The Great Papyrus once and for all, resulting in a lifelong, passionate friendship built on respect, admiration, and rivalry!
Yes, this truly was the best way to start a friendship. Undyne had told him so several times, usually as she was crying over the phone about a new human documentary she and Alphys had just watched.
Wowie! Human friendships sure are complicated!
The slight crunch of feet running through the snow caught his attention. It was time to make his dramatic appearance. Good thing he had this fog machine! What could be more dramatic than suddenly appearing out of the fog, challenging an opponent to battle?
-
Papyrus frowned at the human standing before him. This battle was going strangely. The human had easily fallen into his blue-attack-trap, not moving a single inch while blue bones phased through them.
It was really quite impressive! Facing such an onslaught of attacks without a trace of fear!
But now that they were blue, they continued not moving. And were taking quite a bit of damage for it! While normally, winning a battle so easily would make Papyrus feel extra-especially amazing, attacking an opponent that wasn't fighting back was starting to make Papyrus feel slightly less great than usual.
Perhaps the human didn't know how to dodge while blue?
“Try holding the Up button to jump!”
The human, however, continued to stand there, stoically allowing a bunch of incredibly easy to dodge itty-bitty-bones to hit them.
Was his blue attack so strong that he completely overpowered the human? Was he preventing the human from dodging??? Or, perhaps the human believed that if they didn't move, they would remain unseen. An encounter with Doggo might give that impression.
The human finally dodged a bone!....and landed right on another one instead. Papyrus, who was just about to cheer, groaned loudly instead. The human burst into laughter at that, as if they had pulled a great jape on him, but Papyrus did not see what was so funny.
“Hold up longer to jump higher! Jeez!!”
And yet the human continued to just! Stand! There!! Were they colorblind? Were humans basically dogs?? Papyrus would have to ask Sans for some of the dog food (??????) he kept in his room. After all, a good host would never let their guests starve while they wait in the garage Capture Zone, even if that same good host was really more of a captor and the guest was actually a prisoner. Even captors have standards, you know.
“Give up, or face my special attack!!” Papyrus sincerely hoped he would have the chance to use his special attack, it had been so long and it was really quite cool!
Almost too late, Papyrus realized the human had one HP left, and a bone was coming very close to turning that into 0 HP. He quickly swapped the deadly attack bone out for one of his extra-special, non-lethal, non-attack bones.
“You're too weak, I was easily able to capture you!” Papyrus bragged, posing victoriously. “I will now send you to the capture zone!!”
The human instantly fainted, causing Papyrus to rush over to catch them. Papyrus picked up the very small human and carried them home. They sighed contently, curling up against his armor and latching their arms around his neck like a koala hanging off of a tree….Or Sans.
He stood outside the garage, weighing his options. He could bring the human inside. They could sleep in his incredibly cool car bed, and the two of them could have an awesome hangout. It would be fun, and Papyrus might actually make a new friend this time, unlike the other attempted hangouts that always ended prematurely. No one would have to be captured, and they could all have fun together.
But no. He couldn't be friends with this human, no matter how lonely he was or how much they wanted to hang out. The human would have to be brought to Asgore and break the barrier with all the other humans.
Papyrus sighed, opening the garage door, and gingerly set the human down on the dog bed on the floor, behind the bars, then went inside to find some dog food for the human to eat when they woke up.
All the new friends he would make after being the hero who saved all monsters from imprisonment would make up for it! ….Right?
He had to capture the human. He had no other choice.
-
The human had escaped. Which, really, was quite rude of them, leaving without so much as a note telling him where they went. He would have to chide them for worrying their captor so. And improve the facilities so that next time they wouldn't even want to leave.
Luckily, they were waiting for him at the same place they had their battle only moments ago, giggling as though they had bested him in a game of some sort.
“I suppose this proves what I said. We really are bound together. Two bones in the skeletal anatomy of fate!! That's how you appear here now, even though it's very impossible for you to escape. Amazing! I feel a sincere…. wait a second! I still have to capture you! Whoopsie-doopsie!”
The battle went exactly as the former did. Hopefully the human would give up after being defeated so easily twice in a row, Papyrus thought, as he carefully carried the unconscious human once again to the capture zone, laying them carefully on the dog bed, and searched for something to help improve the facilities a bit. Perhaps they didn’t like the dog food, which he couldn’t blame them for really, so he’d have to find something to make it a little more appetizing. What do humans even eat?
-
When the human escaped a third time, met him in the exact same spot, and again lost without even attempting to fight or dodge, Papyrus found himself becoming very exasperated. He had other things he wanted to do today! His puzzles needed checked on! He needed to check and make sure Sans did something today! And he had a training session planned with Undyne later today!
Perhaps the human simply needed somewhere to stay but didn't want to ask. Which was fine! They could have a sleepover before he captured them and they went to the capitol. They could strategize with his figures and he would make them spaghetti and they might even like it! (For once)
But he couldn't do any of that if they kept running away before he had a chance to even ask them about it! He decided to leave a note, telling the human that they were welcome to stay, if they would only ask.
But really, Papyrus wasn't sure if all of this was even worth it anymore. Who knew how long the human could keep this up. Papyrus might wind up spending the rest of his life chasing and fighting them, over and over, fighting the same battle again and again in an endless loop.
And really, the human wasn’t doing anything to harm anyone. Was there really any need to stop them?
Maybe, he could just...NOT capture the human and let them go on their way.
Maybe, the human was tired of fighting too.