Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kinich and Lyney’s first teapot “date” was disastrously awkward.

Lyney told Kinich to bring his favorite Natlan cuisine. Kinich, being himself, took that at face value, because what other way was there to take it? Lyney had shown him such kind hospitality--it was only right that Kinich brought the dish he was best at making.

Blazed meat stew.

Piping hot, spicy, rich, flavorful meat, slow roasted and carefully transported in a covered, decorative ceramic dish that must have belonged to his mother. The dish had sat, collecting dust in his small kitchen for years, never having a use until now.

Really, Kinich was quite proud of himself for the presentation. He made this dish somewhat regularly for himself and Ajaw, but never for someone he wanted to impress. He took care slicing every onion and tomato, watching the flame with a keen eye as the meat roasted so it would have the perfect mouthfeel.

Nerves bubbled in his stomach as he felt the woosh of teleporting into the teapot. He was so worried about Lyney liking his dish, but it was already made--and made well. No turning back now that he’d gone this far.

The table Lyney had set in the shade of a large tree stopped him in his tracks.

Pink, scalloped tablecloth. Three-tier serving trays full of finger sandwiches and sweets. Two gorgeous teapots, one obviously Fontinian and the other from Liyue, sat on either side of the table. Delicate flatware and china decorated in flowers was artfully placed around the table, perfectly set for two.

Kinich was lucky he didn’t drop his heavy ceramic dish right into the grass.

He was such an idiot.

A tea party. In the tea pot. For their tea pot date.

Ajaw’s laugh cackled in his ear.

Once Lyney smiled at him, though, he couldn't get away.

So he pressed on. Kinich marched up to the table and set his heavy, hot dish down as carefully as he could. Oh archons, the oil and red sauce from the stew would ruin the pretty pink tablecloth. He wanted to catapult himself into a tree.

Nevertheless, Lyney graciously accepted the addition to their meal. Didn’t even bat an eye. Kinich spent the whole meal as red as a tomato out of embarrassment, while Lyney spent the whole meal as red as a tomato from how spicy the stew was.

Despite it all, though, the conversation was…nice. The vast difference in the food was exactly what brought them together, sharing stories of their homelands, theorizing how Natlanese and Fontinian cuisine could be mixed, and debating what drinks would be good to try next time. Lyney proposed Fontinian style coffee, while Kinich promised to bring a fruity variety of beer-- chicha-- that his tribe brewed.

The pretty pink tablecloth indeed did get stained. Lyney waved him off and assured him it could be cleaned.

“I’m so sorry…” Kinich said for what was probably the hundredth time. He set his decorative ceramic bowl down on the grass now that it was mostly empty, moving to help Lyney fold up the tablecloth and gather the dirty plates.

“Please, don’t be. I never want to discourage you from bringing anything you enjoy.”

“I’ll…hold back on the spice next time.”

Lyney just giggled and waved him off, barely concealing a cough from the remnants of said spice. His face was still red from the heat.

“I'm just as much at fault. I won’t go so over the top next time,” Lyney said. “I was…nervous,” he fiddled with the scalloped edge of the tablecloth, averting his eyes. “We could just…go for coffee next time. Or watch the sunset together in Natlan. There are plenty more things for us to do. What matters is that we enjoyed it.”

Kinich couldn't help but avoid eye contact, too. Eugh, emotions were so difficult to parse sometimes. What a troublesome matter. He wished he could just skip all the embarrassing stuff and kiss Lyney on the cheek already. Or maybe hold his hand.

“Thanks, I enjoyed it, too. S-spending time with you, I mean.”

When all was said and done, they saw each other off to the teleport waypoints that connected the teapot realm to the real world via the leylines.

“What do you say about meeting for coffee in the Court of Fontaine next week?” Lyney propositioned, reaching for Kinich's hand just as he had done when they met.

Kinich allowed his hand to be taken, Lyney holding it gingerly with both of his. “I should be available,” he said, short and to the point. He kicked himself internally for sounding so formal. Archons, they weren't arranging a commission or something. He was supposed to return Lyney's affections, but his own awkwardness was holding him back.

“Well, I'd love to see you there, then. Cafe Lutece? Is the same day and time okay?”

Kinich nodded and forced himself into action by resting his other hand over Lyney's. “Yes, I'll be there. I…I look forward to seeing you again.”

Despite how hard he tried, he couldn't keep eye contact when he mumbled the words. He heard Lyney chuckle, though not in a mocking way. Quite the opposite– he wanted to be the cause of that cute giggle again and again.

“Sounds like another wonderful date, then,” Lyney said, raising their hands to press and kiss to the back of Kinich’s.

---------

Another week passed in a blur, and Lyney found himself happily sitting across from Kinich at Cafe Lutece. They’d already ordered coffee and pastries and Lyney was ready to dig in, but Kinich sat with his legs crossed, glancing surreptitiously around the patio seating area. About a dozen other tables were filled around them, Lyney estimated.

“Something the matter?” Lyney asked, gently sipping from his coffee with milk. Nice and creamy, but it could use some sweetness. He lifted the lid of the delicate sugar jar in the center of the table and dropped more than a few cubes of sugar into his drink.

“I, ah, I didn’t realize this place would be so crowded. I’m still unused to visiting other nations,” he explained, turning his eyes back to his drink. “Natlan has its bustling areas, too. I just tend to avoid them. The quiet of the wilds in Natlan is nothing like this bustling city, though.”

“If you’re too uncomfortable we can leave, take our things to go,” Lyney offered. “I’m so used to the city, I didn’t even consider it. You’ll have to take me out into the wilds of Natlan, next time,” he said with a wink.

Kinich flushed, not entirely sure how much Lyney was insinuating. “N-no, no, it’s okay. I can get used to it.”

As they sipped coffee and shared pastries, Lyney realized how little he knew about Kinich. He really should have taken the other man’s preferences into account when picking a spot, but, at the same time, he hadn’t anticipated Kinich being so sensitive to noise. If he was trying to woo him, he ought to know that sort of thing. And plenty of other things, too.

Where to start, where to start…perhaps family? He recalled Bennett sharing stories of his fathers when they all went on that commission together. Kinich, he recalled, hadn’t joined the conversation.

“Speaking of Natlan,” Lyney began. “Do you live with your family in Natlan, Kinich? I’d surely love to meet them when I visit, if only to praise them for raising such a great warrior. They must be so proud of you.”

Kinich physically startled, his shoulders jumping up to his ears. He stopped eating a pastry mid-bite and set it back down on their shared plate, features twisted somewhere between nausea and anger.

Lyney’s smile fell. Ah, not a good topic then. He was such a fool, he shouldn’t have assumed--

“I’m…not close with them actually. I’ve lived alone for quite a while now. I mean, I have some friends in the tribe, though, and friends in other tribes. The war really brought us closer but…yeah, not close to my parents,” he said. Wow, he thought, understatement of the year.

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t make it awkward,” Lyney said, rubbing the back of his head. “As you know, I’m so close to my family here…though they are more of a found family. Only Lynette is my blood relative.”

Kinich supposed he already knew that, but he hadn’t really thought about the implications until then. “How did you and Lynette end up there?” he asked, curiosity piqued.

Lyney smiled at the thought of his family, and at Kinich’s expression. At their first meeting, he recalled Kinich being quite flat until someone weaseled emotion out of him. It was refreshing to see the look of genuine interest on his face.

“Well, it started when Lynette and I were, oh, I think about seven years old…”

---------

Seven, Kinich thought. It was hours later and he was comfortable in his own bed, Ajaw snoring obnoxiously from his smaller bed across the room. Kinich had long grown used to Ajaw’s snores. The only thing keeping him up was that number, or, in this case, age.

Lyney was only seven years old when he and his sister started living on the streets and fending for themselves.

Kinich was only seven years old when he did the same. Only seven when all he wanted was news about his mother, only seven when his father chased him across the plains and cliffs, only seven when he dragged his father’s body--

He was getting nauseous.

Kinich did his best to push those thoughts from his mind, though it was easier said than done. Just like the ever present taste of grainfruit in the years that followed, those memories wouldn’t just go away.

He rose from bed, made himself a cup of tea and a few slices of bread. He resigned to getting very little sleep that night.

It was nice, he supposed. Nice to know that he and Lyney had more in common than he thought.

He had not shared any of his own childhood with Lyney, yet. He was grateful, though, that the other man felt comfortable enough to do so. He had no obligation to share such difficult memories with Kinich, yet he did. And he did so with a smile on his face, emphasizing how thankful he was that he found his family in the House, and how important his family was to him.

Hm.

Kinich didn’t get the idea that Lyney was trying to rub in how great it was to have family, not right after Kinich told him that he wasn’t close to his parents. No, from what he knew about Lyney, he was far too kind to do something like that unwarranted. So what was the reason?

Was he trying to tell Kinich something? Was he trying to pull Kinich into his family? Was there some deeper meaning to it all?

Kinich took his time finishing his bread and tea, still unsure. He finally did drift off in the early hours of the morning, the vision of Lyney’s lavender eyes burned into his memory.

---------

Lunch dates and coffee dates were all well and good, Lyney thought, but a quote he read in an opinion column in the Steambird one afternoon stuck with him.

‘Truly close relationships aren’t formed from lunch dates or occasional brunches. You must do things together, difficult things, challenging things, to see if you are truly a match for each other.’

Lyney was no relationship expert, but he was inclined to agree. Pursuing a long term relationship was something he’d never done before. His previous relationships, mainly based around more carnal pleasures, always seemed to fizzle out for one reason or another. He wasn’t going to wait around and find out if that would happen with Kinich, too. No, he had to take this matter into his own hands!

Which was how he ended up atop a high cliff overlooking the Scions of the Canopy’s main settlement, ready to cliff jump. Kinich looked positively thrilled to be engaging in such a terrifying activity. Lyney couldn’t say he felt the same.

He was dressed in a loose, comfortable outfit that he borrowed from Kinich just for the occasion. He couldn’t help but notice how the shirt and pants were a bit too large for him--a testament to Kinich’s muscular form in comparison to his more lithe figure. The thought was making him swoon, or maybe that was just the heights.

“So, we just…jump? Is that right?” He asked, feeling a bit unwell.

Kinich answered with an earnest smile. “Yeah. Don’t worry. The yumkasaurus will protect you. They’re specifically trained to do this,” he explained, stepping so close to the edge of the cliff that the toes of his boots hung off. “Plus, I’ve done this hundreds of times. I can catch you, too.”

A flush raced across Lyney’s face. He wasn’t sure if that made the situation better or worse.

Well, either way, he made this bed. He ought to lay in it.

Still, maybe he wanted to stall for a few more minutes. “Even after your fall from the cliff in Fontaine, that doesn’t make you…?”

Kinich quickly shook his head. “It’s different in Natlan. Easier to stay in control with the phlogiston here. Plus, I couldn’t just give this up,” he gestured at the beautiful view, looking out over the plains of Natlan. “It’s in my blood, our blood, here. I’d much rather overcome the fear than let it control me,” he said.

Lyney just nodded, impressed, turning his wide eyes to the view.

“Ready?” Kinich asked, though he didn’t wait for an answer. He took hold of Lyney’s hand. “We’ll jump in three, two, one--”

Wing rushed past him and he didn’t remember moving his own feet. It was Kinich, instead, who pulled him forward as they flung themselves off the cliff. After a moment of orienting himself, it really did feel like flying, much more than any wing glider could. Nearby, Kinich let out a whoop as he fell, looking perfectly at home in the air.

Suddenly, Kinich wasn’t next to him anymore. Lyney frantically looked around, and found Kinich far ahead of him, swinging on a summoned dendro rope. He reached out, wanting to keep up, and then--

He nearly had the wind knocked out of him as a yumkasaurus easily broke his fall, with Lyney landing squarely on its back. The saurian didn’t waste a moment, launching the both of them forward, using its tongue as a grappling hook.

As the air whooshed past them and they steadily--and safely--got closer to the ground, Lyney couldn’t help but answer Kinich’s shouts and whoops. No matter how crazy the sport seemed, it really was fun.

Once they reached the bottom--a small, quaint part of the forest with a gentle brook running through it--Lyney was ready to go again. Kinich eagerly led him back up the wooden ramps and ladders that ascended the cliff.

They did one more round just as the first--Kinich on his own and Lyney relying on a yumkasaurus.

The second round was just as fun as the first, though the idea of trekking all the way back to the top of the cliff for a third time has Lyney hesitating.

“This is the most fun I’ve had in months, Kinich, truly,” Lyney said, leaning against a tree to catch his breath. “But I don’t know if I have it in me to climb back up that cliff again.”

Kinich nodded, face morphing into his usual serious expression. “How about this,” he said, after thinking for a moment. “Promise me one more jump, but we’ll make it a special one.”

“Special? How?”

“I’ll show you when we get back to the top!” Kinich said, grabbing Lyney’s hand and pulling him along the wooden walkways once again.

Back at the top for a third time, Kinich pulled Lyney close with a hand around his waist. Lyney’s stomach swooped in the best way, and he instinctively wrapped his arms around Kinich.

“Okay,” Kinich said, his own voice wavering a bit at how close they were. Still, no backing down now. “No yumkasaurus this time. Just hold on tight to me.”

“No yumkasaurus?” Lyney exclaimed, his eyes darting between Kinich and the long drop below, but did as he was told.

“Yep,” Kinich said, pulling them closer to the edge of the cliff. “I’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.”

With a woosh Kinich pulled them off the edge. Lyney’s heart pounded as the air rushed by them. It was quite a different feeling from just jumping. Kinich just moved so fast through the trees; it was hard to comprehend the athletic ability and talent required to coordinate such movements.

The grace with which Kinich moved, combined with stunning views of Natlan, took his breath away. All Lyney could do was try to keep his mouth shut to avoid swallowing a bug. He glanced up at Kinich for a moment, and found an earnest, joyous smile splitting across his face.

That view took his breath away, too.

(Later, looking back on that moment, Lyney wondered if that was when he realized. When both of them were exhausted from a long day, sweating through their clothes, and swinging hundreds of meters up in the air, for archons sake. Who else would he be doing this with!?)

Kinich secured his grappling hook into another tree, then let out a considerable amount of the line. They dropped suddenly like a sack of potatoes, and Lyney felt his heart fly into his throat. The line, held strong by phlogiston, caught them without any trouble. They swooped down much lower, nearly to the forest floor, but were then flung higher up by the momentum.

Kinich grappled a few more times until they settled on the outcropping of a lower cliff on the edge of the Scions settlement.

They paused for a moment, both catching their breath. Lyney couldn’t keep the smile off his face. It was all just so exhilarating. He had so much pent up energy from the stunt that he didn’t know what to do with it.

He did the first thing that came to mind--turned to Kinich, grasped his shoulder, and pulled him in for a kiss.

Only a kiss on the cheek, mind you! He wasn’t without decorum. He wouldn’t kiss the other man on the lips until he was one hundred percent sure the feeling was mutual. But a kiss on the cheek, that could be between friends, right?

Lyney pulled away giggling, expecting to see a furious blush on Kinich’s cheeks.

Instead, he was greeted with a gentle yellow-green glow coloring Kinich’s cheeks and nose. It contrasted beautifully against his dark skin.

Kinich startled, his hands flying up to his face to cover up the pretty glow. “It’s just…what was that about!?” he squawked, though Lyney was unsure if he was more startled about the kiss or the glow.

Lyney just giggled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m just…really happy. It was a thank you for sharing this wonderful day with me. I was scared at first, but you helped me be brave, Kinich, really,” he said with an earnest smile.

A blush did color Kinich’s cheeks, then. He wrung his hands, perhaps looking for the right words, but then gave up on words and leaned in to return the affectionate kiss. Lyney turned his head politely, and savored every moment of Kinich’s gentle lips pressed against his cheek.

When they pulled apart, Kinich’s nightsoul glow had returned. He huffed again and turned away until the glow faded.

“Aww, you don’t have to hide it, I think it’s quite sweet,” Lyney encouraged. Kinich turned back to face him with only a faint glow remaining, his confidence seemingly restored.

“Anyway, I’m…really glad you enjoyed today. I was a little worried it would scare you away,” he admitted, glancing out at the view.

Lyney just chuckled. “Had I been with anyone else, perhaps that would be the case. But with a strong guy like you?” He punctuated this by briefly sliding his hands along Kinich’s sides. Archons, he was sure Kinich was ripped under all his gear. “I needn’t have worried for a moment,” he said, clasping his hands over his heart and batting his eyelashes Kinich’s way.

Kinich’s blush only deepened, a shiver running through him. He tried to laugh it off, glancing away from Lyney. Part of Lyney took that as a challenge--oh ho, he could easily carry on complimenting Kinich until dawn. Today, though, he decided to spare him the embarrassment.

They spent a few more moments in silence together, gazing out at the setting sun.

“I’m sure you’re exhausted,” Kinich began, glancing around to find the best way down for them. “Want to go get dinner at the tribe, then head to bed?”

“Only if I get to hold your waist as you lower us down again~!”

---------

They ended off the night at a lively mom-and-pop style restaurant in the main tribe settlement. It was quite full, but the woman running the place quickly cleared a table for Kinich and his guest. People cheered, called out greetings, and raised their glasses as Kinich walked in. More than a few curious glances were thrown Lyney’s way, but no one seemed brave enough to question why Kinich was bringing a Fontinian around.

“Quite the local hero, aren’t you?” Lyney teased as glasses of beer were set down in front of them. They hadn’t even ordered yet, but he certainly wasn’t going to say no.

“To be honest, I’m still not used to it,” Kinich admitted. “But it’s…nice, in its own way.”

Lyney didn’t even bother looking at the menu. Kinich seemed like he needed a task to complete in order to not feel awkward, so he let Kinich worry about the food and any other drink to order.

A veritable feast of food crossed their table--seasoned rice, a variety of vegetables and delicious meats. Shortly after setting down the food, the server brought over two glasses of a different drink, this time a deep reddish, purple color.

“Oh? I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of trying something like this before,” Lyney said, examining the bubbly drink.

“It’s that chicha that I mentioned,” Kinich explained. “It’s a specialty of my tribe, I thought you might like to try it,” he lifted his own glass to his lips, taking a long sip, then lowered it with a satisfied sigh. “My work keeps me from drinking very often, but I really enjoy it when I have the time.”

Lyney raised his own glass to his lips for a taste. It was a fermented drink, sour and earthy, and finished with a heady, nutty aftertaste. “Wow, this is nothing like what we have in Fontaine. I wonder if Father might like it…”

“Hm, none of your siblings would like it?”

Lyney shook his head. “Lynette will accept a glass of wine if we’re at a party. Freminet…ugh, he has no taste for alcohol. He might have some mulled wine from the holiday market, or some hot chocolate with liqueur mixed in. He’s not very adventurous,” he said, resting his head in his hand. He perked back up right away, though. “I’m glad, with you, I can be more adventurous than normal. Most of my life has been spent going back and forth between Fontaine and Snezhnaya, so I only get to try other cuisines when I’m on holiday.”

Kinich just chuckled and downed more of his chicha. “I’m glad I can be an enabler of such adventures.”

Lyney just laughed and raised his glass. “I look forward to many more!”

They dug into the food after that, and goodness did Lyney find out that Kinich could eat. He surely deserved it, Lyney thought, with all that he’d sacrificed for his nation. Plus, he had to keep up his muscular physique.

Lyney dug into the food in his own right, too. Thankfully, it seemed that Kinich remembered he couldn’t handle much spice, as none of the dishes were too spicy. Food in Natlan just had so much flavor. Not that Fontinian food didn’t have flavor, but, well…sometimes it didn’t, to be honest.

They kept up friendly conversation but, if he was being totally honest, Lyney was curious. Perhaps too curious for his own good. He wanted to know more about Kinich, not just whatever friendly topics that they could come up with.

“I’d love to hear more about how you grew up here,” Lyney said between bites. “It’s such a lively place. Did a family take you in, growing up?”

Kinich paused momentarily, but in the midst of their meal, Lyney barely noticed. “Um…sort of. A man named Elder Leik. He made me attend school here in the tribe, and taught me how to fight and survive in the wild. He guided me in becoming a courier when I was old enough, too. He…taught me the value of the tribe, when I didn’t understand it.”

“Oh,” Lyney said, taking another bite of meat. “No time for you to run around and cause trouble with kids your age, then?”

Kinich shook his head. “Not as a young child. I was very…committed, to say the least. I had a few more…‘friends’ in the tribe as a teenager. But honestly I became closer friends with people I met from other tribes, once I started participating in the Night Warden Wars.”

Lyney got the idea that there was much more to Kinich’s story. But perhaps now was not the time. He decided against prying more. “Well, I’d love to meet this Elder Leik someday, if only to praise him for raising someone so strong,” he said with a wink.

Kinich looked torn on whether he was proud of the compliment or embarrassed at being flirted with, and Lyney giggled into his drink.

“Enough about me. I, actually, uh…I wanted to tell you something, after you shared all that you went through growing up,” Kinich said, suddenly sitting up straighter. Lyney just cocked his head.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, uh…” he trailed off, searching for the words. “I wanted to say that it made me really admire you, how much you sacrificed for your siblings. I thought, it must take a very strong person to be such a good leader. It’s very…admirable. I can’t imagine going through what you and Lynette did.”

Lyney nodded slowly. He was genuinely touched by the sentiment. However, thinking back to his past and forward to his future, already all planned out, he had a very different view on it all.

“That’s extremely touching, Kinich, thank you,” he started. “Though it was difficult, and continues to be difficult, I value every moment I spend with my family. They’re truly the most important people in my life. But…”

He trailed off, glancing out the window. “After a lot of thinking on it, I recognize that what we--what I went through was pretty traumatic. I did learn lessons from it, sure, but I don’t think it made me stronger,” he explained, shaking his head. “I made myself stronger, my family made me stronger, not the traumatic situations. Trauma is just that…trauma. And it should be treated as such. I’m…really working on healing from it, honestly.”

Kinich looked taken aback, but he didn’t pry any further. “That’s very insightful of you,” he commented.

Lyney wanted to say more, but talking about it was already starting to tire him out. “Thank you for the kind words. I hope I can share more with you someday.”

---------

It was far too late for Lyney to venture back to the teapot when they finished dinner, so they trekked back to Kinich’s abode together.

Kinich’s house was small, but cozy, Lyney found, consisting mainly of two bedrooms and a kitchen-slash-living area. He wasn’t expecting anything grand, from what he already knew about Kinich. As a saurian hunter he tended to stay on the move. His house was strictly there for him to sleep in or grab a bite to eat.

Right away, Lyney found himself enjoying it. It was quiet, peaceful. The noise from the main tribe settlement didn’t drift out this far. Only the songs of bugs and wind through the trees kept them company, here.

“I, uh…inherited it from my parents. I’ve tried to fix it up to meet my needs. Some people from the tribe helped me, too. But not much more than that,” he explained, showing Lyney to the washroom and the guest bedroom.

“I understand. Thank you so much for letting me stay here. I’ve really enjoyed our little trip,” Lyney replied with a wink. Kinich half smiled back, glancing away despite himself.

“Me too.”

Silence passed between them, and Kinich shuffled over to his bedroom door.

“Well, don’t hesitate to wake me if you need anything. I’ll see you in the morning. Have a good night, Lyney.”

Lyney smiled, and bid him the same. “Good night, Kinich.” And with that, Kinich closed his door.

Lyney giggled to himself as he washed up and changed into his night clothes. It was cute, how courteous Kinich was--making sure there was an extra bed, even an extra room, for Lyney to sleep in. He would have gladly shared a bed with Kinich tonight. But, if Kinich wanted to take it slow, Lyney could settle himself down and wait.

He drifted off happily that night, to the sound of the wind through an old windchime that hung in front of Kinich’s home.

Chapter Text

His weekly meetings--dates?--with Lyney continued like clockwork. The hours they spent together were spent on trying more of each other’s favorite cuisines, sparring, exploring each other's homelands, and more.

They parted with a kiss each time. Sometimes just a chaste peck, other times they were pulling one another into an alley way or behind a large rock, losing themselves in lascivious kisses and wandering hands.

They never went further than touching over clothes, though, and for that Kinich was relieved.

This evening found them back in Natlan. Steamy water lapped at their waists as they relaxed in one of the more secluded hot springs of Toyac. Their second round of brightly colored cocktails rested on the ledge nearby, and Kinich wasn’t sure if the flush in his cheeks was from the liquor or the fact that Lyney’s swim suit left little to the imagination.

The tiny, red and black striped shorts covered him just enough to be considered decent, not that Kinich was complaining. But Kinich’s getup of board shorts and loose, short sleeved top looked comical in comparison. Well, it wasn’t like he could just go around topless. Someday he’d like to, but that wasn’t in the cards at the moment.

The bartender had to be pouring the drinks extra strong tonight, Kinch was convinced, because he couldn’t keep his damn mind off Lyney’s tiny waist and the alluring expanse of his thighs.

Meanwhile, Lyney appeared completely unaware. He was ten minutes deep in recounting a tale of his unmatched cunning while on a mission for the House. He was adorably tipsy, and Kinich was happy to let him continue on forever.

Kinich never found it boring to listen to Lyney. Every time they met, the other man had a seemingly endless spool of stories to tell--from daring missions in other nations to tales of the other members of the House making fools of themselves. It fascinated Kinich, how much one could travel and experience at such a young age. He told Lyney as much after every story.

“Well, to me, you’re just as interesting,” Lyney purred, suddenly invading Kinich’s personal space until they were nose to nose. Kinich had to suppress the urge to flinch away but, after a momentary panic, his mind caught up with his body. Lyney was a safe person, he had to remember. And Lyney liked to be close to him, and he would give him space if he asked. Instead of recoiling, Kinich rested a hand on Lyney’s waist.

Lyney continued with a smirk, looking like a pleased cat who’d just gotten his way. “I love hearing your stories, too, Kinich. I surely hope you know that you’re not at all a boring person.”

If Kinich were more bold, perhaps he would have pulled Lyney down into a kiss right then and there. If he were more bold, perhaps it would have gone further.

But, in the realm of love and affection, he couldn’t bring himself to even toe near that kind of boldness in public. Sitting there, even with a pretty boy in his lap and alcohol making their cheeks pink, he felt frozen with uncertainty.

When Kinich didn’t go further, Lyney just giggled and leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Like a lovesick fool, Kinich held a hand over the spot once Lyney retreated out of his personal space bubble.

The rest of their evening drifted on in a similar manner--the springs keeping them warm despite the cool night air, and the alcohol spurring on their conversation to whatever topic struck their fancy. Later in the night, as weariness from the day made their eyelids heavy, Lyney wrapped his arms around Kinich’s waist and rested his head on Kinich’s shoulder. With a satisfied sigh he closed his eyes, nuzzling into the damp fabric of Kinich’s shirt.

“This was truly a lovely, relaxing evening, Kinich. Thank you for bringing me here,” he murmured, sounding about ready to drift off. Warmth swirled in Kinich’s chest, proud of his choice for their date, and he leaned his cheek onto the crown of Lyney’s head.

Lyney didn’t make any more moves to initiate anything more, and for that Kinich was immensely relieved. Perhaps he should have said something, but regardless, Lyney easily picked up on his apprehension.

Once their hands and fingers were pruned from the water, they finally redressed and slowly made their way back to Kinich’s home, their hands linked the whole time.

Kinich remained alert as ever as they walked, on the lookout for anything that might endanger them at this late hour. Lyney’s smaller hand in his was a wonderful distraction, though, particularly the way his thumb rubbed over Kinich’s calloused knuckles.

Just like last time, they kept to their separate bedrooms. Before parting, though, Lyney pulled Kinich in and pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss. Every time he did this Kinich still found himself shocked--shocked that he landed someone who treated him so well, and someone who was so good at finding those moments to surprise him. He pushed all other thoughts from his mind and kissed back, even intertwining their fingers.

When they pulled away, Kinich was breathless. Lyney, unashamed, just smiled and bid him goodnight.

And just like last time, Kinich laid awake thinking about how he couldn’t keep Lyney in the dark forever. Ajaw’s gentle snores kept him company as he played a million different scenarios over and over again in his head. If he wanted to stay in this relationship with Lyney, he’d be expected to go further eventually. Lyney would want to kiss and touch more. He’d want Kinich to take off his clothes, and then there was no way he could hide.

The corner of his brain that loved tormenting him wanted to stay awake all night, but, eventually, exhaustion tugged him under. Perhaps he was wrong, he mused as he drifted off. Maybe things between him and Lyney could just stay like this forever, affectionate and gentle and…

---------

The force with which Lyney shoved Kinich against the closed door nearly knocked the wind from his lungs.

Usually he liked Lyney’s surprises, but this one he wasn’t sure about.

It had been nearly a month since their hot springs date. Since then, work had regretfully kept them apart. They exchanged a few letters, but nothing could replace the feeling of their hands on each other.

Lyney had taken the responsibility of organizing their date this time. He invited Kinich to bring another Natlanese dish to share, like their first date, so they could catch up over a lovely dinner together.

He’d also secured the use of one of the spare houses in the traveller’s teapot. The house was on one of the more distant islands, so they were afforded more privacy than usual. Kinich knew as much going into the date, but only when he showed up did he realize how few of Lumine’s other companions were around. They were the only ones in this section of the teapot, actually, with a small island all to their own.

Between the gentle breeze, the sunset, and Lyney’s smile, Kinich should have known better. It was all too perfect. He should have expected the path that the night eventually went down.

Back in the present, Lyney’s lips and tongue and teeth were hitting every sensitive spot possible on Kinich’s neck. He didn’t even know some of those spots existed. The moans and sighs that escaped his lips weren’t doing anything to help his case. But, at the same time, did he really want Lyney to stop?

The house was small, but furnished with plenty of spots for them to cozy up to each other. A fire crackled in the hearth, warming the room, not that Kinich needed it to be any warmer. They tumbled onto the sofa together, falling into each other amongst soft cushions and a throw blanket. Kinich pulled Lyney down on top of him. He wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist, pulling him closer to bring their lips together again and again.

Lyney’s hands wandered to Kinich’s hips, slipping just a bit under his shirt to splay across his abs. The feeling of Lyney’s fingers on his skin made Kinich want to combust. It was so nice, felt so right, to be touched by someone who he knew truly cared for him, someone who wouldn’t push him too far--

Obsessed with the simple pleasure of that touch, Kinich reciprocated. For the first time in a long time, he gave himself permission to want more. Permission to touch where it felt right. He dipped his fingers below the waistband of Lyney’s pants, feeling the soft jut of his hipbones as they deepened their kiss.

Some time later, Kinich didn’t even know how long, they pulled apart to catch their breath. Lyney looked up at him with a warm, satisfied expression. Kinich did his best to return the expression, lost in Lyney’s eyes, but the more he stared, the more he felt doubt creep up his spine.

Behind the warmth and satisfaction, all Kinich could see was--expectant. Lyney was expecting more out of him. And all he’d done was reciprocate. Archons, what if it was too late to--?

“Stay the night?” were the very next words out of Lyney’s mouth. Kinich felt the blood drain from his cheeks so quickly that he got lightheaded. Lyney was expecting the answer to be yes, obviously.

Kinich berated himself. How could he be so stupid?

His heartbeat was pounding through his chest, and not in a fun, sexy way. Lyney must have noticed the change in his expression because his eyebrows were already furrowed in worry.

Suddenly, Kinich was floating, and he didn’t feel right in his own body.

“I-I can’t,” he stammered out, taking his hands off Lyney and gripping the couch cushions with such force that his knuckles blanched. He needed something to ground him, something other than Lyney lying on top of him. He needed out. “I’m just…I’m not ready. Not tonight. I’m sorry.”

It was so, so irresponsible of him to lead Lyney on. He had no idea what he was thinking. Or maybe he just wasn’t thinking at all. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Lyney’s face crumbled. Slowly, he lifted himself off Kinich and sat next to him on the sofa. The warmth Kinich lost from Lyney was replaced with burning shame. He sat up, planting his feet on the ground and holding his head in his hands. He felt dizzy, and at some point his hands had started shaking.

There was only static in his ears for--he didn’t know how long. When sound faded back in, it was Lyney’s voice.

“-nich? Kinich? Are you alright? We don’t have to continue, really,” he was saying, his hand rubbing gentle circles against the small of Kinich’s back.

Kinich took a deep breath and raised his head. He felt like a saurian had slammed into his stomach, except this time there was no cool story to tell or gnarly battle scar to show off, just shame.

“Did you…did you have a bad reaction to some of the food? You’re shaking…” Lyney continued when Kinich didn’t say anything.

“N-no,” he forced out, massaging his temples. “No, that’s not it.”

Silence stretched between them.

“I’m sorry for leading you on,” Kinich said, finally glancing at Lyney again. He felt like he didn’t even deserve to look at him.

“W-what!? No! No, no, no, that isn’t your fault,” Lyney quickly dismissed, giggling as if to make light of the situation. “If anything, I was the one who came on too strong. I…I really missed you! But I should have said something sooner…”

Kinich just shook his head, looking away again. Lyney was just trying to make him feel better. If he was more clear headed, perhaps he might agree with Lyney. They both should have been better at communication instead of slamming each other against the nearest flat surface. But right then, wrapped up in his own emotions, Kinich could only see his own faults.

After a few more moments of silence, Lyney seemed to collect himself.

“I'm not upset or disappointed, please know that. I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable, and…and I must apologize, because I feel that I have,” he said, eyebrows knitted together, apology written all over his face.

Kinich didn’t deserve it.

“Won’t you stay a little longer?” Lyney asked, when Kinich remained silent.

Kinich turned his head to the window. Time moved differently in the teapot, but the sun would probably almost be down by the time he got back to the Scions. It would be better if he just left, and he said as much.

“It’s…probably just better if I go. Probably…late in Natlan.”

Lyney nodded, and Kinich pretended like he didn’t see Lyney’s expression morphing into heartbreak.

“At least let me accompany you to the waypoint?” he said, standing as soon as Kinich did. Hesitant, Kinich agreed.

Outside, the sunset was still beautiful, and the breeze still gently ruffled their hair as they walked. Kinich tried to separate himself from Lyney in the first few steps, but Lyney easily caught up with him and laced their fingers together.

He wanted to pull away, but the gentle warmth of Lyney’s hand won him over.

Once they got to the waypoint, they both just stood there. Where did one even begin in a situation like this? Kinich was still keenly aware of Lyney gazing at him as if he’d disappear at any moment. In his defence, he did want to disappear.

“We haven’t been able to see each other for so long,” Lyney remarked. “Can we meet up here again in a few days? Just to talk. We don’t…have to kiss or anything.”

He may have been embarrassed beyond belief--and a scroll full of other emotions he couldn’t even identify right then--but Kinich knew better than to completely abandon his boyfriend. That wasn’t right, wasn’t fair to Lyney.

“Yes…I think I can do that,” Kinich said, his eyes still not meeting Lyney’s. “I do…I definitely want to keep seeing you. I just need to…figure some things out. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay! Don’t be sorry. Really, my darling,” Lyney took a chance and stepped closer, cupping Kinich’s cheek and resting their foreheads together. “You don’t have to be sorry. And I want to keep seeing you, too.”

Kinich’s face broke at that. He could feel the lump rising up in his throat. He needed to get out of there.

“Let’s- let’s meet up again in three days. Back here,” Kinich said, perhaps more to himself than Lyney.

Lyney nodded. “I’d love that. I’ll be here.”

Kinich made a noise of agreement, then kissed Lyney on the cheek before pulling away.

“I’ll see you in a few days, then,” he said, turning to the waypoint. He felt like he needed to say something else before he left, but what? Was this the point where most couples said ‘I love you’? They hadn’t said it to each other yet, and his frazzled mind couldn’t come up with anything else.

“Please know that you can tell me anything,” is what Lyney left him with. The phrase smacked him in the chest, almost knocking the air out of him like Lyney had when he pushed him against the door.

In some corner of his mind, he did know that he could tell Lyney anything, but the rest of him was having trouble catching up.

Instead of something more substantial, Kinich just nodded stiffly. So many thoughts swirled in his head.

After teleporting back to the stadium, the long trek back to his home gave him plenty of time to think.

Even so, when he finally settled down and got in bed for the night, he turned onto his side and cried. Cried for the first time in a long, long time. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he open up more?

---------

If anything could be said about Kinich, it was that he tackled problems head on.

As it were, outside of Natlan, a grand total of one person knew Kinich was trans.

Well, okay, two people if he counted Paimon.

Luckily, Lumine was still travelling around Natlan, exploring and completing commissions. He found her in the Collective of Plenty. His cry for help must have been written all over his face, because Lumine took him to a quiet field outside the tribe as soon as she could.

“I’ll spare you the details,” he said, curt. Both he and Lumine were seated in the grass, while Paimon relaxed in the shade of a nearby tree with a fruity drink she finagled from the tribe. Lumine just nodded, ready to listen.

“I met up with Lyney yesterday. We were, ah, planning on spending some time together. But…I had to leave, all because I still haven’t come out to him yet,” Kinich described, his face crumbling from its usual nonchalance as he did. “It went fucking awful. I feel like…I feel like I can’t face him again. But we agreed to meet up again in a few days, to talk.”

Lumine kept her eyes trained on the yellowed grass under them, thinking. She nodded when Kinich finished. “Honestly, I didn’t know you weren’t out to him yet. I’m not holding it against you, but after I found out you two had a more serious thing going on, I thought you’d already discussed it.”

“It was…foolish of me to not bring it up earlier.”

Lumine shrugged. “I mean, it’s your life, Kinich. If you’re not comfortable doing something, no one can make you do it.” Kinich curled in on himself tighter at that, as if her words had struck a cord. “But, if you want to keep this thing going with Lyney, well…I think he deserves to know, if you’re asking me.”

After a pause, Kinich relaxed and tried to sit a bit taller. He couldn’t…this wasn’t something to hide from. “I know that,” he said, glaring at a rock in the grass as if it had done him wrong.

“Well, I know that you know, but you’re the one who came to me,” Lumine countered, matter of fact.

“Lumine! Paimon is going back to the tribe to see if Varesa has any more snacks!” Paimon shouted, already floating back off in the direction of the Collective. Lumine just nodded and waved her off with a smile.

Even without Paimon to overhear them, they sat in relative silence. Lumine tolerated it for a while, trying to give Kinich room to think, but she didn’t exactly want to waste her time if he was going to be stubborn about this.

“Can I ask you something?” She said. Kinich glanced at her and nodded, still caught up in his own head. “What do you want me to tell you? I know Lyney pretty well, but the only way to tell him, is to tell him. Is there a reason you came to me specifically?” she asked, trying to keep her tone patient and even.

Kinich sat with her question for a moment, not even sure if he knew the answer himself. It just seemed right, coming to Lumine for advice. “I’m just…I’m so worried about what he will say. I have no way of knowing if he’ll accept me. What if…what if he doesn’t want to be around me anymore?”

That was putting it lightly, Kinich thought. His brain had plenty of other, much harsher criticisms for him.

Lumine remained quiet for a moment, and when Kinich looked back to her, he found her looking up at the sky. Then, she heaved a long sigh.

“Okay,” she said.

“O…kay?”

“I’ll tell you a secret. But you have to promise, promise, not to tell anyone. Don’t even let Lyney know I told you this, unless he tells you first,” she said, wagging a finger at Kinich.

Kinich recoiled a bit. He hadn’t the slightest idea where Lumine was going with this.

“Alright, I promise,” he said, holding a hand to his chest and bowing his head. He didn’t know what was so serious, but he trusted Lumine.

Lumine nodded, deathly serious. “Alright, so, you know how Lyney is like a big brother to a lot of the other members of the House? You know that he has a rather high ranking position there, all things considered?”

Kinich nodded. He had a vague understanding of it.

“Well, all the members of the House were orphaned, one way or another. All those kids came from unscrupulous backgrounds. As such, Lyney has had to deal with a number of unique situations as these kids grow up, or on the odd chance that a family member came and tried to, ah…take their child back by force, in the case of kids who ran away from home,” Lumine explained, keeping her voice low.

Kinich nodded, his full attention on Lumine now. He was sure Lyney had told him at some point that all the kids were orphaned. He couldn’t admit to thinking about it too deeply, though, aside from sympathizing with the cause. Natlan was dealing with their own dearth of orphans after the war. Lyney never mentioned much about the children, aside from silly stories he recounted.

“So, I happen to know that…at least two of the children that he looks after are trans. I’m not telling you their gender, nor their names. But, I will tell you that I have seen them come to Lyney for many things--advice, or frustrations. It is obvious to me that they trust him very much,” she finished, squaring her gaze back on Kinich. “Obviously, your relationship with Lyney is very different from his relationship with the children, but that is all I know. I hope it can help you make a decision.”

“Oh,” was all Kinich could manage. He couldn’t process this right now, with the wind whipping their hair around and the volcano grumbling in the background. Suddenly, he wanted to go sit in a tall tree all alone and think. And maybe scream.

“Don’t…” Lumine sighed, standing up. “I can’t tell you what to do, Kinich. But don’t stress about this too much, okay? Of all the people I’ve met, I have a hard time imagining any one of them who would reject you because of this, and least of all Lyney.” She offered him a hand, and then pulled him to stand beside her.

“Let’s go get some food at the tribe, hm? And stop Paimon before she eats herself into a coma.”

Thanks to Lumine, he did not get the chance to sequester himself in a tall tree and scream his emotions out. Instead, he joined Lumine, Paimon, Iansan, Varesa, and the other Collective of Plenty tribe members for a big dinner, had maybe one too many drinks, joined in on a song or two, and ended the night by passing out next to Lumine in her accommodation.

It was refreshing to sling his binder off at the end of the day without a care for the other person in the room judging him. Instead of holing himself up in his own home, angry at himself and the world, he fell asleep next to Lumine with a smile.

---------

The day that he and Lyney agreed to see each other again rushed to meet Kinich. It felt like he saw Lumine off, blinked, and then was in the teapot again, making his way back to the little house he and Lyney were meant to share.

Kinich was both bashful and frankly fucking embarassed to see Lyney again.

Still, it was hard not to smile when his eyes fell upon the other man. The way Lyney’s cheeks rose when he smiled, the gentle curve of his waist, the way his eyes lit up and he practically started vibrating as Kinich got closer.

Lyney threw himself into Kinich’s arms when they met, and Kinich found himself wrapping his arms around Lyney’s waist as natural as breathing. Was this what love was supposed to feel like? He couldn’t say that he knew, but it did feel like something warm curling up in his chest. It felt like something he didn’t have to hesitate on.

He noticed that Lyney was very purposeful about not kissing him in greeting. After the initial excitement, Lyney seemed to calm down considerably.

“I’m so sorry for upsetting you the other day. I hope you’re feeling better,” he said as they sat down at the garden table near the house. The weather was perfect again, as it always was in the domain, with the wind gently ruffling their hair.

Kinich echoed Lyney’s words from the other day, shaking his head. “You don’t have to be sorry. It was something I had to work through, and I should have told you earlier, instead of putting it off until it overwhelmed me,” he explained.

Lyney’s smile fell a bit and he leaned in to listen faithfully. He looked worried, so Kinich continued on quickly. He must have been confusing Lyney even more. For him, though, it was as if a weight was lifting off his chest just being there.

“I-I have something very important to tell you,” he said, trying to tamp down his nervousness.

“What is it?” Lyney asked right away, unable to conceal his nerves.

Wow, Kinich thought, if a magician couldn’t conceal something, it must really be affecting him.

He decided to just force it out, like he did when his grappling hook got stuck at an odd angle in a tree. No time to hesitate. “I want you to know that…I’m-I’m trans, actually. I transitioned when I was very young, so living this way has been natural for me for a long time. I wish I would have told you earlier, and I apologize that I didn’t. But…you’re a very special person in my life. I hope you can understand why I waited to share this,” he finished, but couldn't bring himself to look Lyney in the eyes.

It was only after a few seconds of silence that he realized he still wasn’t looking Lyney in the face. Bracing himself, his eyes met Lyney’s again.

He found a mix of confusion and relief in Lyney’s lavender eyes, although the relief seemed stronger. A moment later, Lyney confirmed that.

“Kinich,” he said, as soft as a sigh, and leaned forward to take his hands. “I’m so, so happy that you’re sharing this with me. I know…well, not from personal experience, but I have an idea of how nerve wracking that can be. Please know,” he said, gripping Kinich’s hands tighter. “Please know that it doesn’t make me think of you any differently. I’m still over the moon to call you my boyfriend. I always will be.” Kinich could feel Lyney’s eyes searching his face, waiting for his next action.

“Oh, well…I am, too, in that case,” Kinich managed, his heart fluttering. He didn’t really know what else to say--his mind hadn’t allowed him to plan any further than the confession.

He didn’t know how to describe the sense of relief. He wasn’t totally sure if the ground was there anymore, because he felt like he was floating. It was…that easy? He just had to tell him?

A huge smile weaseled its way onto Lyney’s face. He let go of Kinich’s hands and collapsed dramatically over the back of the dainty garden chair. “Well, thank the gods. I’m so relieved. I was fully prepared for you to break up with me,” he admitted.

“Break up with you?” Kinich exclaimed. “Why would I do that?”

Lyney sat himself back up, shrugging. “Well, I don’t know. After last time, I just got the feeling that I upset you, a lot. The next logical step was that you didn’t want to be together any more…although, I can not tell you how happy I am that it’s not that case. Over the moon, over the stars, oh, I could just float up into the sky,” Lyney opined, getting up to move closer to Kinich and press a kiss to his cheek.

“Now come,” Lyney said. “Join me inside? J-just to talk! I brought wine and chocolates. I’m not expecting anything, really! Let’s…take it slow, right?”

Kinich just nodded, surprised to find a smile spilling into his face as Lyney dragged him inside.

The cozy interior of the house took on a different feeling this time as they made themselves comfortable inside. The evidence of their mad scramble to the couch from last time was gone--Lyney must have stayed behind to straighten the place up, Kinich thought.

As promised, Lyney joined him with two glasses of red wine in hand, and a tray of chocolates, too. They opened the curtains of the large, main window so they could watch the sunset, and Lyney put on a record for some relaxing background noise.

It was right as Lyney went to sit next to him that Kinich realized: it was already evening, and he was very much ready to get his binder off if they were going to relax. And it didn't matter anymore, at least…not as much. He didn't have to hide this part of himself from Lyney anymore.

Actually, the last time he went to the tribe's doctor, he was told he ought to think about not wearing the binder so much. He could run the risk of hurting himself, especially during a mission or combat. He knew there were…other options, but he hadn't looked more into them yet.

“Actually, I think I'd rather put on something more comfortable. Like a looser shirt, I mean,” he said, moving to stand as Lyney sat. “I'll be right back.” He'd left a change of clothes in the bedroom a few days ago.

Lyney seemed to catch his drift, shouting “Well, as long as you're comfortable!” down the hall as he headed back to the bedroom.

“Don't worry about it,” he called back. And he hoped Lyney wouldn’t, because he really wanted this thing off him.

Kinich emerged back into the living area without preamble, dressed in a loose, dark green shirt made of a thick cotton. He owned a number of the same shirt in different colors. The fabric was the perfect thickness for minimizing the fullness of his chest without a binder.

A bit of nervousness creeped up Kinich’s spine as he sat down, but he did his best to play it off by reaching for the wine glass Lyney brought him and taking a sip. He hoped he appeared cool and nonchalant--he wanted them to be comfortable like this, he wanted to be comfortable like this.

Lyney on the other hand, was sitting up ramrod straight, trying to appear very normal about it all. Kinich didn’t have the heart to tell him he was failing miserably.

Either way, slowly, their conversation picked up. They shared how they’d both spent the last few days. Kinich explained that he’d confided in Lumine, and how her words helped him summon up the confidence to tell Lyney.

Lyney shared that he’d been quite productive at the House, helping out the other children and just keeping things in order.

“--and if Lynette ever lies to you, saying I was locked up in my room for days or something, don’t believe a word she says! She just wants to embarrass me, and none of it is true!”

Kinich laughed so much he nearly spilled his wine. After Lyney’s passionate words, he’d rather like to hear Lynette’s version of the events. He’d like to compare both sides of the story and see which one sounded more likely.

Once they both calmed down Kinich tipped his glass back to drain the rest of it, then leaned over to lay his head on Lyney’s shoulder. Between the pleasant buzz of the wine and Lyney’s presence he felt warm and syrupy, ready to curl up and fall asleep next to his boyfriend’s warmth.

Lyney set his glass down, too, and shifted the both of them so they were cuddled together comfortably.

“I have a question, if you don’t mind. Y-you don’t have to answer it, if you don’t want to,” Lyney said after a few moments, rubbing circles into Kinich’s hip.

“Go ahead,” Kinich mumbled. “Shoot.”

“When did you know that you were trans? You said you were quite young, yes?”

Kinich hummed. Actually, he had to think about it. He tended not to ruminate on his childhood very often, much less the very confusing part where he was raised as a girl.

“To be honest, I don’t exactly remember when the idea got in my head. It was sort of just…always there,” he explained. “It’s…a bit complicated, but I’ll try to explain,” he said, and Lyney encouraged him to continue.

“I was raised as a girl for the first six or so years of my life. Except, it didn’t exactly affect me as you’d think. My family was quite…separated from the tribe. We were very poor. I wore skirts growing up because that’s all my mother and I could figure out how to sew--shorts would have been too difficult. My hair grew long simply because my mother did not know how to cut it. Eventually, I figured that out myself and chopped it off, even if it looked horrible,” he explained, trying to keep things straight forward. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, recalling those times was still painful.

“So it wasn’t that I was expected to be very feminine or anything. That was just…what my mom could manage. My parents called me ‘she’ or ‘her’, of course. In the end I think that was what set me off. It just…felt wrong. I couldn’t explain it,” he said, resting his head back against Lyney’s chest to glance up at him.

“Oh, I see…” Lyney mumbled, thinking the information over. “That makes sense, but…I’m sorry you had to grow up like that. I’m no stranger to a life of poverty, either.”

“Yeah, it was just my lot in life,” Kinich said, absent mindedly rubbing Lyney’s arm. “Oh! I can tell you the first time someone really accepted me, though. That, I remember.”

“Oh, do tell.”

“I was still young, seven, I think? It was when Elder Leik finally convinced me to come to the tribe’s learning lodge. I’d already been referring to myself as a boy for what seemed like forever at that point, but in reality it may have just been a few weeks. I can’t remember,” he shook his head with a small smile. To a child, a few weeks may as well have been an eternity.

“Anyway, I went to the learning lodge for the first and last time, and all the kids made fun of me because I was so obviously poor. My clothes were shabby, and I didn’t even have shoes. It was awful, as you can imagine. But they called me ‘he’, so…even though I was as mad as a tatankasaurus, I remember feeling so vindicated,” he said with a laugh. He could still recall stomping out of the lodge, but unable to wipe the satisfied smirk off his face.

Lyney giggled, too. “That’s too sweet. Did your parent’s feelings ever change?”

Kinich’s heart sank, and he pulled a face. “Oh, well…by the time I was seven I guess…my mom had already left me. She just…up and disappeared one night. I never found out where to. So, by that time, my mom was long gone, and my dad never would have approved anyway. I lived on my own for a little while, but eventually Elder Leik took me in. Elder Leik, he…” Kinich sighed. “I don’t know if he really understood in those early years, but he referred to me with the right gender and the right name, so that was all that mattered.”

“Your mother abandoned you before you were even seven!? Archons, Kinich, I had no idea, I’m so sorry,” Lyney said, wrapping his arms around Kinich’s waist and back-hugging him close. Kinich rested his hands against Lyney’s, but just shrugged.

“Oh, yeah,” he said, suddenly feeling numb from having to relive all those emotions. “I never got to tell you of my childhood. I kind of just…forgot that you didn’t know. It feels natural for me to…not think about it.”

Lyney stilled behind him. Perhaps he hadn’t suspected that was where Kinich was going with the story.

Kinich heaved a sigh. Archons, Lyney didn’t even know the half of it.

“Um, well…” Lyney hesitated, tracing little circles on Kinich’s arm. “Do you wanna talk about it? You don’t have to, of course. We could just…go on a walk, or something, before heading to bed…”

Through relaying the stories of his childhood to Lyney, Kinich was perhaps starting to realize that he had a lot more to work through than he’d like to admit.

“No…you told me of your childhood. It’s only right that I share mine with you, too,” Kinich said, moving to sit up. He wanted to be able to look Lyney in the eyes as he spoke.

After grabbing some more snacks and water from the kitchen, they both settled back down.

Slowly, with care for each sentence, Kinich told Lyney everything. From his dad’s gambling and alcohol addictions, to the physical abuse he and his mother endured. From his mother leaving, to his father’s untimely death.

By the end, Lyney was pale in the evening light.

Kinich began to wipe the tears that collected under his eyes. Lyney beat him to it, surging forward to wipe away his tears, then pulling his boyfriend into the tightest hug he could manage.

“Kinich, darling…I don’t know what to say…” Lyney mumbled, unable to stop the tears pooling in his own eyes.

Kinich shrugged. There was nothing to be done about it. He had long come to peace with that fact. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s all in the past, anyway. I don’t want to burden you…”

Lyney shook his head, pulling away to look Kinich in the eyes. “I understand, but I don’t want you holding all the burden, either! If you ever…if you ever want to talk about this more, please know that I’ll always listen. Truly, I mean that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. I…will take you up on that, someday,” Kinich promised. Lyney reached forward to link their hands, as if affirming the promise once again.

Silence passed between them after that, because what more was there to say? Kinich had done a lot of talking. He was ready to be done with conversing for the day. Crying had made his eyes heavy, too. Forgoing any more words, he sighed and laid himself down on Lyney’s lap, cuddling into his boyfriend’s warmth and closing his eyes.

“Ready for bed?” Lyney asked with a short chuckle, threading his fingers through Kinich’s dark hair. Kinich just hummed in agreement. “Well, don’t fall asleep too soon. How should we do this, hm? There’s only one bed here, so would you rather me sleep out here, or…?”

Kinich snapped his eyes open. Oh. He hadn’t considered that. Perhaps when Lyney requested this house from Lumine, he really thought they would only need one bed. Thinking back to a few days ago, that made perfect sense…

A thread of apprehension rose up in Kinich’s chest. Surely Lyney wouldn’t do anything he was uncomfortable with? He was already offering to sleep on the couch, but that didn’t seem fair to him.

Kinich thought back to sharing the sleeping mat with Lumine a few days ago. He’d also shared beds or sleeping mats with Mualani and Kachina before, after festivals and the like when they were all too tired to get back to their tribes.

Would it really be any different with Lyney?

“As long as we’re just sharing a bed, I don’t mind,” he said, turning his head to look up at Lyney. “I don’t want to…do anything. I’m sorry, if that’s what you were expecting. When I’m more ready for that, I’ll tell you.”

Lyney nodded eagerly, a smile breaking out across his face. “No, no, of course! You tell me when you’re ready. I just didn’t want to impose…but also, I perish the thought of you sleeping alone after everything you just told me,” he said. Kinich cocked his head at that last bit.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you…you deserve so much more, Kinich. You deserve to have someone love and cherish you,” Lyney said, pink coloring his cheeks. Kinich quickly looked away. How could he say that with a straight face! He tried not to think about it, but got up from the couch and tugged Lyney along to the bedroom.

Sharing a bed with Lyney wasn’t so different from anyone else, Kinich found out. Except, after a few minutes, Lyney snuggled up against his back and threw an arm over his waist. Kinich couldn’t help but blush, but after he relaxed into the cuddle, it was…nice and cozy. Maybe he even felt like he was meant to be there.

“Thank you for trusting me,” Lyney mumbled, then pressed a kiss to the back of his neck.

Kinich hummed, feeling emboldened himself. “Always,” he answered, and brought Lyney’s fingertips to his lips for a gentle kiss.