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Captain Jean-Luc Picard sipped his Earl Grey tea as he reviewed crew evaluations from The Enterprise’s engineering department. Between documents, he mused about the mundane job duties he never thought about as an ambitious ensign decades ago. The famous Captain Kirk had advised him never to accept a promotion to a desk job, never to give up travelingthe galaxy. But he had to admit: he spent so much time at his desk he may as well be an admiral withering away at a desk.
A comms signal interrupted his musings: “Message from Admiral Janeway.” He sighed. The last time he’d seen her, they spent some stolen time in domestic bliss at her rented home. It was a humble, mid-twentieth century house, with a generous front and back yard, surrounded on three sides by neighboring vineyards. She’d chosen a house in wine country to make him feel at home.
But The Enterprise was his home. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that.
He tapped the screen, then reflexively smiled when he saw her face.
“Good morning, Jean-Luc. I hope you’re okay.” Her smile seemed a bit forced. “I remember how you nagged me to check my messages, so you have me worried.”
If he didn’t respond to this message, it would be the seventh unanswered message. One per day. Before then, he’d replied to each one.
“I planted more rose bushes yesterday. I chose a variety that will look good with Picard wine. Don’t laugh. Wait until you see it!” She paused, a whiff of sadness passing over her face. “I miss you, Jean-Luc. I knew this would be hard, but I had no idea it was this hard. Remember when I said I wanted to live in the moment and not worry about the future? It seems I didn’t know myself very well.”
He paused the display. He hadn’t thought about the future when they were traveling together, either. Their tour of European sites and capitol cities took shape one day at a time. For four weeks, they loved, laughed, and had beautiful sex with no thoughts of anything more. And when she was detailed to The Enterprise on a special mission, they were a “couple” on board – his crew already knew about their relationship when she arrived – but he hadn’t been thinking long term even then.
Then she was promoted. They were no longer the same rank.
And then she rented a house in California’s wine country.
He tapped the screen. “Well, if you reply, that’s future enough for now. Even if you don’t really like the house, it’s starting to feel like home to me. And I’m not lonely. Icheb moved in. Starfleet won’t put Borg technology in the prep school dorms. They wanted him to regenerate in some secure closet at Headquarters. He needs a real home where he can regenerate and be accepted for who he is. And he has one now, with me.”
He smiled. She was known for her generosity. While she captained Voyager in the Delta Quadrant, she opened her heart to an adult Borg drone and later, four Borg children. Icheb was one of them. He admired her for it then, and he admired her for taking in Icheb now.
“If this is about Will and Deanna’s wedding – don’t worry. I know I’m not part of the Enterprise family. I don’t expect an invitation. I hope you have a good time, and that the wedding is beautiful. That’s all the news for now. Jean-Luc, please reply.” She kissed her fingertips, then put them to her screen. “I miss you.”
After the screen went dark, Picard sighed. He ran his hands over his bald head as if they could make his brain work harder and faster to come up with a message in return. But he got stuck on the “message” part.
No, it wasn’t about Will and Deanna’s wedding, but it was. It wasn’t about her promotion, but it was. It wasn’t about her renting a house surrounded by vineyards, or her daily messages or how much she clearly loved him. It was about all those things. And it was about how much he loved her. Under her spell, he’d even imagined having a child with her. What was he thinking? He was losing himself. He couldn’t let that happen. He was Captain Picard , dammit. His career was everything to him, and The Enterprise was his family. He was responsible for the ship and over a thousand souls aboard. He couldn’t also be responsible for someone else’s happiness! How had he let this happen?
He tapped the screen, and saw a new message – this one from Starfleet Headquarters.