Work Text:
This should have been an easy task for Martlet. All the Dreemurrs wanted her to do was install some basic shelves in their kids’ room. With Gaige, she’d done tons of projects that were way more complicated than this with no trouble at all. Even on her own, in the months since his death, she had done jobs way harder than this.
But as she stepped back and looked at the two shelves she’d done so far, she knew she had messed up. They weren’t level, the tip of one of the nails was dangerously jutting out from the top of the bottom shelf, and they didn’t look as stable as they should be. She knew she’d have to redo the shelves from scratch.
Martlet wished she could say this was the first time something like this has happened. But in the last month or so, she’d been making a lot of mistakes while working. She would get absorbed in her thoughts, or she’d be too tired to think clearly, and she’d make a stupid mistake and have to start over from the beginning to fix it.
As she started taking the shelves apart, Martlet thought about how she got to this point. Less than a year ago, she had led such a carefree life. Even if she hadn’t really felt ready to be an adult, Gaige and her were figuring things out together. Everything felt bright and full of hope.
It’s funny how fast things can change.
After Gaige’s death, Martlet had adopted his younger sibling, Rowen. She didn’t regret that decision, and wouldn’t trade Rowen for the world, but that didn’t make raising them on her own any easier. For months had been working far harder than she ever had before – harder than she had previously thought she was capable of – just to earn enough to give them a meager lifestyle.
When she was able to be there for them at home (which wasn’t anywhere close to how often she wished she could be around), Rowen was always far more withdrawn than they had been before. Martlet knew that they weren’t over Gaige’s death, but she didn’t know how to help them.
Throughout all of this, Martlet’s family took every opportunity to let her know they didn’t approve of her adopting Rowen. If they had any say, they’d have her abandon Rowen to the foster care system. They didn’t care that that would betray Gaige’s wishes. They didn’t care how much it would hurt Rowen, how it would confirm all of their worst fears.
Just thinking about it disgusted Martlet. She didn’t think of herself as a hateful person – she always tried to see people’s perspectives, to give them the benefit of the doubt – but eventually, every interaction with her family brought out a side of herself she really didn’t like.
She knew that cutting contact with all of them was the right move. Hell, it would have been the right move months earlier. She just wished that cutting them out of her life felt more cathartic. Instead, getting rid of all her family photos just made her feel even more alone.
If her life before Gaige’s death was bright, then her life now was like a night that was so dark you could forget there was ever any light at all.
Martlet silently chuckled to herself. If she had said something like that to Gaige, he probably would have laughed and made her turn it into some goofy song lyric.
“Excuse me,”
Martlet nearly jumped at the sudden voice. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn’t even realize that she had already finished taking the shelves apart, and was just leaning against the wall, her head rested against one of her wings. She turned around and saw that it was her client, Mr. Dreemurr.
Great, the client saw me moping when I should be working.
She tensed up, sure that she was about to get admonished for her lack of professionalism.
“I just finished brewing some tea. Why not take a break and have a cup or two?”
Martlet hadn’t expected that. She was used to having to beg for forgiveness when she made mistakes like this. Instead, he was offering... a break?
It had been... a while since Martlet had let herself take a break. She used to take time to relax all the time – in high school, she was the queen of napping in class – but, after she began raising Rowen on her own, she couldn’t really afford to be as lazy as she used to be.
Then again, she was making all of these mistakes because of stress, right? Maybe a short break and some tea would let her relax enough to actually do things properly. Besides, Mr. Dreemurr’s smile seemed so sincere – it would be rude to reject a cup of tea, right?
“Umm, sure, Mr. Dreemurr!”
“Please, call me Asgore.”
Martlet followed Asgore down to the kitchen, and sat down where he gestured for her to. Asgore poured her a cup of tea, and poured another for himself.
Martlet took a slow sip of the tea… it felt like a warmth spread across her body, easing the tension in her body.
“This tastes wonderful, Miste- umm, Asgore!”
“Why thank you! I’ve found that nothing helps quite like a nice cup of tea when you’re feeling down.”
Martlet felt a little embarrassed at that.
“It’s, uh, that obvious, huh?”
“Well, I started brewing the tea to be a sort of… ‘thank you’ gift. But there’s nothing wrong with needing a break, and nothing wrong with being a bit down.”
Martlet wordlessly took another sip of her tea, not making eye contact with Asgore. She knew that he was right, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing.
“I’ve also found that talking about your worries can help. If it’s not too much... may I ask what’s troubling you?”
Martlet wasn’t sure what to say. There were a lot of things troubling her. She couldn’t tell him everything – not only would that take far too long, but she didn’t exactly want to talk about a lot of it with a stranger. She still hadn’t talked to anyone about what had happened with her family in much depth, and she certainly wasn’t going to lay out those feelings to a person she barely knows.
Though, it wasn’t like she needed to get that personal to explain that she’s been stressed. That’s a pretty common issue, right? And talking about some of her worries sounded... nice, at this moment.
“Well... I’ve been, um, pretty stressed lately. I adopted my child – gosh, around six months ago, now – and it’s just been... a lot, you know?”
“Oh! I was not aware you were a parent. I know raising a child on your own can be quite difficult, especially at your age... Why don’t you tell me a bit about your child?”
“Well, their name is Rowen. They’re a human, and already school-age. I suppose that’s a bit unorthodox, but, well, they were living with their brother, and...”
Martlet trailed off. She could talk a bit about Rowen, but she wasn’t ready to talk about Gaige. Before she could brush off that topic and resume talking about Rowen, Asgore spoke up.
“I think I understand the situation. I am sorry for your loss.”
His tone made it clear that he didn’t expect her to elaborate more on the subject, which she was grateful for.
“...Thank you.”
Asgore gave a small smile. Martlet thought about what she should say about Rowen next – probably something about their love for old western movies. Once again, however, Asgore spoke before she did.
“It is an interesting coincidence, though, that you adopted a human. Tori and I’s youngest, Kris, is also a human, you see.”
Martlet perked up a bit at that. For a while, she had secretly been hoping to be able to talk to another monster that had adopted a human – she had never had any issues relating to Rowen being a human (at least, from that fact on its own, but she had already decided not to talk about her family), but she did worry sometimes that there might be some things about them that she might not understand.
“How has that been? I mean... has it been tough, raising a human?”
“Well, there have been a few challenges, yes, especially when they were younger. There is a book that has been a great help for us – I believe the title is ‘How To Care For A Human’ – I recommend picking that up if you can.”
Looking for a book like that kind of seemed like an obvious thing to do, now that Martlet thought about it, but for whatever reason, she had never thought about trying that, despite her worries.
“I’ll, umm, definitely check if the library in Eastville has a copy!”
“...Ultimately, though, I do not think raising a human is truly all that different from raising a fellow monster – in the end, the most important thing is that we love Kris, and that we do our best to care for them.”
“That’s... pretty much what I’ve been thinking, so far. I love Rowen with all of my heart, and I’ve been trying my best to be a good mother to them. So even if there’s some things I don’t understand, or I make some mistakes, surely I can’t be totally screwing up, right?
“That is a good way of looking at it. No matter what struggles Rowen might have, you can at least provide them a loving home they can return to.”
Martlet smiled at this, and took another sip of her tea. Normally, she’d have trouble accepting reassuring words like that as genuine. But something about Asgore’s tone made her feel sure that his words came from the heart. His phrasing reminded her of a fear of hers, however...
“Thanks, Asgore... though, sometimes, I worry about if Rowen really believes that. That they’ll always be able to come home, no matter what. Sometimes... it seems like they think that I’ll just leave and never come back some day. I’d never do that, I know I’d never do that, but... I don’t know how to help Rowen believe that.”
Martlet’s fist clenched as she thought about it. She knew that Rowen had always had similar fears, to some extent. It was something Gaige had talked to her about, on his deathbed.
She didn’t want to think about why Rowen had those fears.
Asgore thought for a moment. He seemed to be carefully considering what to say.
“...A few months ago, Kris asked Tori and I when their horns would grow in. Of course, as a human, Kris won’t ever have horns. But, to comfort them, we bought them a headband with red horns on it. They were overjoyed, and have worn that headband every day since then. I believe it helps them feel like they belong in our family. It is cute, isn’t it?”
Asgore took a photo from the fridge, and showed it to Martlet. It was a photo of the whole Dreemurr family – Asgore, his wife, and his son all had wide smiles. Kris hid most of their face behind the bouquet of flowers they were holding, but the headband was clearly visible.
Martlet was confused. She didn’t understand why Asgore was bringing this up.
“Yeah, it’s cute... it doesn’t really look that much like your horns, though.”
“That is true. And one day, I know Kris will realize that. And... they will once again feel like they don’t belong in our family.”
Asgore seemed mournful, saying that. Martlet understood what he was feeling, in that moment. She often felt the same way, about her own child.
“As parents, we cannot always shield our children from their worries. There are times when all we can do is comfort them, and remind them that they are loved. But, over time, as the children grow, those wounds will slowly heal. I believe that one day, Kris will no longer feel that they do not belong.”
Asgore gently put his hand over Martlet’s.
“And I also believe that one day, Rowen will no longer feel that they might be left behind. It is not something we can make happen, but I believe it will still come. All we need to do is to keep showing them that they are loved. I believe, if you just stay determined, eventually everything will be right again.”
If someone had told Martlet that last statement just a few hours earlier, she would have thought it was ridiculous. But, after relaxing with some tea, and after Asgore’s other kind words, she actually found herself believing what he said. For the first time in what felt like ages, Martlet felt a real sense of hope.
“Thanks, Asgore. And, you’re right. I just... I just need to stay determined, and keep showing Rowen that they’re loved. And... things will be right again.”
She said it with her eyes closed, like a mantra. She was afraid that this hope, this light shining in the darkness that was her life, would die out if she let it. But there was a burning feeling in her that wouldn’t let that hope die, and so she kept repeating those words to herself as she thanked Asgore for the tea, and got back to work.
I just need to stay determined, and eventually, things will be right again.
Martlet was calm and methodical this time, making sure to double-check her measurements as she assembled and installed the shelves. It wasn’t long before the first shelf was up on the wall. It was level, and a firm tug proved that it was stable, as it should be.
I just need to stay determined, and eventually, things will be right.
The next three shelves came quicker than the first. Now that she was calm, the movements came naturally to her, like it was second nature.
As she worked, she thought about Rowen. Ever since Gaige died, they had been so much more quiet. They had smiled so much more before all of this, but now, whenever they did smile, it never quite reached their eyes...
But, somehow, Martlet felt sure that, one day, Rowen would smile just like they had before.
I just need to stay determined.