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“Colonel get down now!” You screamed from across the room as Lust’s spear like fingers raced towards the Colonel yet the world seemed to slow down as you sprinted towards your commanding officer then the world began to buzz. You could vaguely hear Lust laughing as she disappeared from the room. Your eyes locked with Mustangs dark eyes, tinged with shock and fury. You looked down at your purple uniform funny you could have sworn it had been blue when you put it on this morning hadn’t it?
Your head was spinning or maybe it was the room, you couldn’t really tell you only knew that ground was coming at you and fast. But before you could hit the blood soaked floor you felt the Colonels strong arms wrap around you. Yet in his condition he couldn’t keep the both of you up and you both fell to the floor. Your uniform was already heavy but soaked in your blood it felt like a lead jacket and you could feel more blood soaking your back. But whose blood was it? If it was your’s shouldn’t you be dead by now?
“Y/N! Y/N! I need you to stay awake for me that is an order!.” You couldn’t help but smile up at Mustang, only he would think that death could be avoidable with an order. You tried to lift your hand but you couldn’t. You shuddered in the Flame alchemist's arms, your body was cooling and your heart was slowing down without enough blood to pump around your body. It was almost ironic you were freezing to death in the Flame Alchemist’s arms.
“Havoc! Y/N you cannot die do you understand me?” You strained your ears listening for some witty comment from the human ashtray, but all was silent. Without Havoc to help Mustang you knew you needed to stay alive a little longer, you couldn’t die to, not while he was still in the room. You cleared your throat trying to rid your mouth of the coppery taste, Lust must have nicked a lung you were drowning in your own blood.
“Colonel...you nee-need to go, the others...need...your...help.” Your chest was on fire and you could feel tears leak from the corners of your eyes. Fear, anger and disgust bubbled in your chest what was the point of being able to use alchemy to heal when you couldn’t even heal yourself?
“I’m not leaving you dammit now pull yourself together.” You could hear the desperation sinking into his voice your eyes were getting heavy but you wanted to keep them open.
“Just go...and don’t forget…..about me.”You laughed to relieve the tension that was almost thicker than the scent of blood but it reduced to a coughing mess and only caused you more pain. You felt Mustangs hands wipe tears from your cheeks and push your hair out of your face.
“And how could I do that? You’ve given me so much to remember.” You managed a small chuckle without much discomfort and looked up into Mustangs dark eyes.
“And..what exactly...have I given you to remember?” It was the colonel's turn to laugh as he continued to play with your hair.
“You remember that time I convinced you that the military had changed the female uniform and you wore that miniskirt to the office?” You smiled as you remembered the look on Mustangs face and the blood nose you had given Havoc for trying to cop a feel. When you had found out about Mustangs deceit you had continued to wear the miniskirt as punishment, teasing him.
“That’ll...be my legacy, the officer...that fell for Colonel Mustang's miniskirt trick. How wonderful…” You were so tired now and the will to live you had before was slipping from your body and soul and dying seemed like the inevitable. You looked into Roy’s dark eyes and god did you want to fight, you’d never gotten the chance to tell him how you felt and you couldn’t tell him now and just die, it was selfish. You tried to fight it but a sob ripped through your chest and seemed to echo off the endless tunnels underneath the laboratory.
“I remember the way you laugh...and the way your eyes light up when you smile….and how happy you are when your alchemy can help people.” Mustangs voice was thick with tears he refused to shed. You were the one dying but you were more worried about him, with what little strength you had left you brushed your fingertips along his jaw causing him to tense up.
“You can’t leave me, not like Maes.” You could see a lone tear fall from his eye but he quickly wiped it away. He considered crying weakness and he had strived his entire military career to prove he was not weak.
“Enough talking like that….the others cannot face Lust alone...now we both I’ll be right here when you get back so go protect our people.” You both knew as the words left your mouth that you were lying. That the only way you were leaving this godforsaken place was in a body bag but it seemed to be the only way you could both face the reality, and honestly if you couldn’t lie in your hours when could you? Mustangs arms gripped you tighter before carefully laying you on the floor but even with his gentle touch the pain that ricocheted through your body was unbearable and you couldn’t hold back the scream. You turned your head to watch him leave, hoping he’d look back at the door so you could see his face one last time but he didn’t and part of you was glad, because the fear that you had kept inside was now all over your face. Closing your eyes you tired to focus on your breathing and having the energy to talk.
“I know you're not dead Ashtray you already forget I’m a healer?” Your voice was light and a wet chuckle filled the air as you heard a heavy thump as Havoc rolled over to face you. His blue eyes were pale and blood covered his face and matted his hair. Feeling the fruitlessness of applying pressure to your wound you planted your hands on the floor and extended your feelers out to Havoc.
“Nah just didn’t want to ruin your moment with loverboy.” You would have blushed if you had enough blood left. Havoc knew how much you loved Mustang, he’d even tried to set you up with him under the disguise of a blind date. You’d broken his collarbone for that one.
“So am I gonna die, cause it feels like it about now.” Havoc knew your faces, he had seen you in action during the Ishvalan war. Honestly he was one of your best friends and as you assessed his injuries you were glad to see that Lust had managed to miss all of his internal organs and the puncture wounds were non lethal. Yet when you reached out to his nervous system more tears leaked from your eyes, from the shock of his injuries he didn’t realize yet but he couldn’t feel his legs. The nerves were almost completely separated at the spinal cord, your best friend would never walk again and that very thought would surely kill him. Pulling back you took a deep breath trying to calm the panic you felt.
“You're gonna outlive me that's for sure.” You forced a laugh which was a big mistake as blood filled your mouth. Turning your head you let the blood dribble from your mouth trying your best to wipe the evidence from your face before facing Havoc again. The look in his eyes though told you you hadn’t done a good enough job. You reached your hand out towards him and he grabbed onto your head as if it was a lifeline.
“Say something nice at my funeral please?” You smiled at him as his eyes filled with anger and disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something but you went on.
“And take care of Mustang...he’s...gonna need all of you….after this.” You watched as tears gathered in the man's eyes. The knot in your throat was unbearable you almost couldn’t speak.
“And tell Riza…”A sob wracked your body, the next words felt like battery acid in your mouth and big, hot, tears obscured your vision.
“Tell her that I approve...and that if she hurts him...I’ll haunt her ass...until she’s dead.” Havoc laughed at that. You both had seen the way Riza acted with Mustang and it was so obvious she was in love with him and it killed you to have to let her have him, but he would need her. The silence was deafening and you knew this wouldn’t be easy.
“Promise me Ashtray, do this for me.” You looked him straight in the eye, you could see the defiance in his eyes. You knew he wanted to scream at you, tell you how much Mustang needed you, use anything he could to will you to live but he couldn’t he knew you too well and you’d get this look on your face when you had a lost cause and that’s exactly what you were….a lost cause.
“I promise Y/N, I promise but please just try.” You smiled and nodded at him. The pressure in your chest was too much your breathing was shallow and you knew before long that it would be short gasps. Drowning in your own blood would be a long process and even if by some miracle Mustang made it back in time the damage to your internal organs was too extensive, a doctor at that point would be useless.
“Havoc…” His eyes popped open as his name left your lips, you never used his real name ever.
“Can you do me one more favor?”
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Mustang struggled to get up, he needed to get back to you, you and Havoc needed doctors. He barely made it to his feet before being forced back down by Lieutenant Hawkeye. His dark eyes burned with fury.
“Lieutenant step aside I need to get back to he-”
“No Colonel you need to lay down your injuries are extensive-” Her voice faded into nothing as a single shot rang through the air. Fullmetal eyes widened before he took off in the direction of the sound. The minutes seemed to tick by agonizingly slow, the trio sat in complete and utter silence as Fullmetal stumbled back into the large arena like room. His blood soaked boots left vivid marks against the sand and his golden eyes were void of all emotion. He stopped in front of the colonel unable to meet his gaze.
“I’m sorry there was nothing I could-” He didn’t hear anything else. The world seemed to fade from view as he fell back to the floor white filling his vision as he looked up at the ceiling. Maybe this is what you were seeing right now, maybe this is what heaven looked like.