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It's two am and Daichi is tied to a chair.
"Alright!" Nishinoya declares loudly, slamming his fist down on the coffee table in lieu of an actual gavel. "The 44th Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club Emergency Meeting has officially been called to order. First item on the agenda?" He cocks his head to the side and shoots Daichi a half-hearted glare. "The Daichi-Suga Problem."
Everyone groans.
It's two am and Daichi is tied to chair in the club room while most of his so-called friends sit huddled in a circle around him, shooting accusing (and somewhat disgusted) glares his way.
So, yeah. He's not in the best of moods.
"There is no problem," he grumbles, straining his wrists against the restraints tying him to the chair. "But there's going to be, if one of you doesn't let me out ri—"
"The prisoner isn't allowed to speak unless spoken to," Nishinoya sniffs primly, wagging a finger at Daichi. "One more word out of you and Ryuu has permission to use the tape."
"Use the wha—"
Tanaka grins as he, not-so-subtly, places a roll of duct tape on the coffee table. Daichi presses his lips together and nods for Nishinoya to continue, deciding that if his teammates are apparently mad enough to lure him out of his bedroom at two am in the morning with fake text messages about a fire at the gym, then they're definitely mad enough to duct tape his mouth shut.
"Thank you," Nishinoya smiles sweetly, and Daichi quickly moves him right to the top of his 'People I Will Destroy One Day' list, bumping Tanaka down one spot. "Now, back to the problem at hand."
Everyone around the table groans and Daichi makes a mental note to bump them all one space up on his list.
"I know, I know," Nishinoya sighs, shaking his head a little. "But something needs to be done. I think they've scarred Hinata."
Hinata dramatically shudders, and Daichi watches as Kageyama, Kageyama of all people, reaches forwards to give his hand a sympathetic squeeze.
"I'm dreaming," Daichi murmurs. "This is all a terrible dream and I'm going to wake up any minute now in my bed."
"Ryuu!"
Daichi tenses as Tanaka plucks the duct tape off the coffee table and slides closer to him.
"That's your final warning Daichi," Nishinoya says sternly, wagging his finger at him again. "One more word and you can say goodbye to that line of fur you're growing on your upper lip."
Daichi shoots him his most powerful Death Stare but, wisely, stays silent. He'll get his revenge tomorrow during practice.
"Right," Nishinoya says brightly, turning back to Hinata. "Now, for the court, wil you please repeat what you saw yesterday after practice?"
Hinata nods shakily, voice quavering just a little as he glances over at Daichi. "I was putting the balls away and— And—"
"Take your time," Nishinoya says softly. The rest of the group nod sympathetically, eyes shining just a little bit.
"They were in the storage cupboard, getting the brooms," Hinata says slowly. "And they were talking to each other and, at first, I thought it was just a normal, friendly conversation, you know? So I moved a little closer and—" Another deep breath. "And I saw it."
Daichi frowns, trying to wrack his mind to figure out just what the hell he'd said or done to Suga to make Hinata act like this.
Nishinoya shakes his head and gently pats Hinata's hands. "I know this is hard, but please, you need to continue."
"They were staring at each other," Hinata croaks, fists balled up tightly on the table. "You know, the way they always do?"
Tanaka and Nishinoya both pretend to puke.
Kageyama and Tsukishima shoot Daichi a disgusted look.
Hinata whimpers and drops his head on the table.
Asahi shakes his head at Daichi in disappointment.
Yamaguchi averts his gaze.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," Nishinoya says softly, patting Hinata's hair gently. "But, sadly, you're not the only one. All of us here have been subject to Daichi and Suga's pukeworthy 'Googly Eyes', and we all know just how terrible it can be."
Everyone around the table murmurs in agreement.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself," Nishinoya asks, turning to face Daichi, a look of contempt plastered across his face. "An apology, perhaps?"
"An apolo— No?" Daichi frowns. "What the hell is going on here?"
"Don't play dumb with us, Captain!" Tanaka laughs, fingers inching towards the tape again. "You know what you're doing. You both do."
"It's pathetic," Tsukishima sniffs.
"Sickening," Kageyama adds.
"Embarrassing," Yamaguchi mumbles.
"So embarrassing," Asahi sighs, looking as if Daichi has physically pained him in some way. "I can barely look at you two half the time these days."
"Why?"
"We're all sick of your pining!" Nishinoya snaps. "Every day it's something new. Lingering touches—"
"Running your hands through his hair, pretending you're 'picking out fluff'" Asahi grumbles.
"Sharing each others lunch," Hinata pipes up.
"Feeding each other," Tsukishima adds, and the group collectively shudders.
"Well— That was one time," Daichi says weakly - though it's not much use, they're already ploughing on.
"Wiping the sweat off each others foreheads," Kageyama groans, shaking his head as if he's trying to physically rid himself of the memory.
"Sharing the same bottles," Yamaguchi sighs.
"All of that and more," Nishinoya says, glaring at Daichi. "We're putting an end to it. Now. Ryuu, the phone."
Daichi watches, eyes wide as Tanaka dives into Daichi's jacket pocket and tugs out his phone, sliding it across the table towards Nishinoya.
"What the hell? I have a passcode you kn—"
"One Three Zero Six," everyone drawls in unison, shooting Daichi another round of withering glares.
Daichi sinks further into his seat. "What are you going to do?"
"Something we should've done a long time ago," Tanaka says dramatically. "We're texting him for you."
Daichi lets out a sigh of relief. "We text all the time."
"Ugh." Nishinoya wrinkles his nose, gaze focused on the phone in his hands as he scrolls through it. "I can see that. Look," he flips the phone around and shows it to the group. "Good morning texts, good night texts, 'have you eaten yet?' texts. Gross."
"We're friends?"
"No," Nishinoya scoffs. "Me and Ryuu are friends. This?" He gestures to the phone. "This is clearly something else."
"I mean—"
"So we're going to do what you've never been brave enough to do," he continues, a sly smirk tugging at his lips. "And put an end to all our collective misery."
Daichi holds his breath as Nishinoya's thumbs fly over the screen with a surprising amount of speed.
"Done," Nishinoya sighs happily, dropping the phone onto the table.
"What did you do?"
His phone vibrates on the table, distracting everyone from Daichi's question in favour of watching Nishinoya unlock it and begin furiously typing away again.
"Oooh, add another emoji," Hinata whispers, crouching behind Nishinoya's shoulder. "Add another four."
"Good man," Tanaka sniffs proudly, clasping a hand over Hinata's shoulder and squeezing tightly. "I've taught you well."
"Don't forget the 'xo's'," Asahi adds, lips twitching upwards into a smirk despite himself. "As many as you can fit."
"You're a genius," Nishinoya laughs, thumbs still flying lightning fast across the screen. "Aaaaand, done." He sets the phone on the table and grins brightly over at Daichi. "The Daichi-Suga Problem is officially solved. Ryuu, if you'd do the honours of untying our dear Captain. Just, ah, just make sure there's nothing sharp around for him to grab."
Daichi resists the urge to tackle Tanaka (and then everyone else) to the ground once he unties the ropes and scarves around his wrists, waist, and ankles, deciding he'll get his revenge in practice over the course of the next few weeks. His eyes glint slightly and he imagines watching his (traitorous) team run lap after lap after lap after lap after la—
"Plot your revenge after you've thanked us," Asahi laughs, shaking his head knowingly as he hands Daichi his phone back.
"You guys lured me out of my house at two am, tied me to a chair, and then did something weird with Suga on my phone," Daichi snaps, glaring at all of them. "Why the hell would I thank any of you?"
"Because," Nishinoya whistles innocently. "Because I'm pretty sure your new boyfriend wouldn't like it if you got rid of all the team."
"My new what?"
Nishinoya winks and throws open the club room door, gesturing for the team to follow. "Like we said before, we did something you've never been brave enough to do."
Daichi frowns and stares at his phone, tapping it awake to see 'Suga: 1' flashing on the screen.
Despite himself, his lips twitch upwards into a pleased little smile.
Maybe he won't make the team run laps until they pass out after all.
Maybe.
Daichi
SUGAAAAAA MY BEST BUD WASSSSSDUP
⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽
Suga
Daichi?
Is everything alright?
It's nearly 3am
Daichi
EVERYTHNG IS FIIINE
NOW
THAT
I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!!!!!
⤴︎ ε=ε=(ง ˃̶͈̀ᗨ˂̶͈́)۶ ⤴︎⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽ ⤴︎ ε=ε=(ง ˃̶͈̀ᗨ˂̶͈́)۶ ⤴︎⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽
Suga
Are you drunk?
Daichi
heheheheehehehehehehehehehehe
suga
ur so smart
thats why i love u xoxoxo
;) ;)
Suga
Is this Nishinoya?
Daichi
....
suga silly
cant u read
it's MEEE
DAICHIIII
Suga
Noya, why do you have Daichi's phone?
Daichi
srsly what the heck suga??? how'd you know??
Suga
You accidentally added me into the group WhatsApp chat 'Operation Solve The Daichi-Suga Problem'
Daichi
oh.
well.
shit.
Suga
Mmm.
What's the problem by the way?
Is Daichi alright?"
Daichi
YOU
YOU ARE THE PROBLEM SUGA
WE WERE TRYING TO SET YOU UP
BUT WE NEEDED TO PUNISH DAICHI
SO
RYUU SAID
WE SHOULD PRETEND HE'S DRUNK TEXTING YOU TO SET UP A DATE
THEN
HE'D BE EMBARRASSED
BUT YOU TWO WOULD STILL DATE
AND WE'D BE FREE FROM THE ETERNAL GOOGLY-EYES
Suga
Right.
Well.
I'm not sure what 'The Eternal Googly-Eyes' is.
But, cool.
Daichi
cool?
Suga
The date.
Tell Daichi I'm free tomorrow night.
Daichi
wtf
that easily????
i thought there'd be more resistance ngl
maybe we'd have to tie you to the chair too
Suga
Tie me to the chair?
What?
Where is Daichi?
Noya. Please. Please don't tell me he's tied to a chair.
Daichi
GOODNIGHT SUGA
GET SOME BEUATY SLEEP
SO YOU CAN BE READY FOR YOUR DATE TOMORROW
NIGHT!!!!!
Suga
Noya?
Noya?
God damn it.