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10:52 PM
The air is still, the lights are warm. Josh leans against the kitchen counter and watches Sam as she washes the dishes. His green eyes examine every part of her body. Her slightly exposed collarbones. Her long blonde hair that frames her face beautifully, it makes her look like a painting, Josh thought. Her navy blue sweater that Josh’s mom gave her. But most importantly, just her. His gaze creeps down to her breasts. As nice as it'd be; Josh has never thought of her in a sexual manner, despite what he tells Chris. He only ever pictures himself lying on her chest, letting her play with his hair, playing a Beatles vinyl as he falls asleep in her arms. But he'd never let Sam know that. He cant ruin a bond this strong. When he invited Sam to stay over, it took everything in him to not sound as pathetic as possible. But, Josh already knows that everything about him is pathetic. For now, it's just a friendship. An awkward, tension-filled friendship. He continues admiring her. Her hips lightly swaying as she hums, her clear skin, every single detail. He wants to scream at her, telling her every word he wishes to say, proclaiming his admiration. He wouldn't dare, though. He's so... him and Sam is an angel on Earth. Sam goes to grab another dish and sees Josh staring at her.
"Hey, stalker." She laughs.
“You don’t have to do that, you know.” He says.
"I came up here to help you, Josh, let me help." Sam looks away from the sink and over to Josh. Even though what she said is relatively serious, her euphonious voice manages to make it sound less pitiful. "Besides, I still need to wash a bowl for popcorn."
"Alright, alright. Thanks for this, by the way. I, uhm-- I really needed this." Josh averts Sam's gaze and looks down at his fidgety hands.
"Don't thank me. Didn't I tell you I'd always be by your side?" Sam smiles and turns back to the sink.
"So, what are we watching tonight?" Josh eagerly changes the topic.
Sam clears her throat. "What's that one horror movie that was released last year? As Above, So Below? Let's do that one."
"Yes, ma'am." Josh chuckles and pushes himself off the counter.
Samantha hates anything scary and Josh knows that. She despises gore and guts and screaming, so why would she even recommend a horror movie? Every time the friend group put on a horror flick for movie nights, Sam would hold onto Hannah the whole time. But it's what she wanted, Josh would hate to disappoint. He wonders if she did this on purpose. Josh loves horror movies more than anything and anyone whose ever spoken to him knows that. His favorite is the first Saw, obviously. Sam would always ridicule him for this, calling it torture porn. Josh said otherwise, he called the franchise "an important message about humanity". Sam never listened.
"Hey, uh, you know it's a horror movie, right?" Josh shouts.
"You like horror, don't you? I don't see an issue!" Sam hollers back.
Josh smiles softly and turns the movie on.
Sam saunters over with a big blue bowl in her hands and sits down next to Josh. "Alright, so I'm too sleepy to make popcorn so I just used some from one of those party-size bags you got."
"Whatever." Josh shrugs and grabs a piece from the bowl.
Sam's hand is basically touching Josh's, a slight movement and their pinkies would be intertwined. Josh notices this, of course. His body stiffens. It'd be a nice moment, though. The fire popping as he held his girl, covering her eyes when the film got too scary. The subtle sound of snow patting against the rooftop and Josh laughing at Sam screams. That'll never happen though, all he has is the snow. Josh desperately tells himself to shut up. He can't ruin this. He's just fine staying this way, no matter how badly the secret eats at him. Sam is too smart for a fool like him. She's working towards a bachelor in Environmental Science and he's constantly on the edge of rock bottom. She wakes up at 8 every morning to go for a run and he's been on antidepressants since 11. They're so different and Josh hates it. He's so lost in his own thoughts that he can't even see that Sam has fallen asleep on him. His heart is beating so fast he can feel it trying to escape from his rib cage.
A tree hits the window and Josh finally snaps out of it. He freezes. Sam's head is on his shoulder and she's peacefully drifted off. He quickly accepts the privilege of being her pillow. Her breath is slow and he tries his best to match it, thus calming him down. Sam stretches and their hands finally meet. Josh wants to wrap both arms around her and never let go, but he can't. He wouldn't dare to wake her up. She's a sleeping angel and Josh is lucky enough to have her lay on him. His leg has stopped bouncing, his body relaxes. He's at peace now, because he has to be. The fire pops and the pair are bathed in orange light. They're only 30 minutes into the movie, meaning Josh gets to cuddle with Sam for another hour.
12:46 AM
Sam's eyes flutter open and she picks her head up. The fire has died down and Josh is watching Bojack Horseman on mute. The snow has picked up, leaving the lodge ice cold.
Sam shivers. "Josh?"
"Hey." Josh smiles awkwardly and turns the TV off.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fa--"
Sam's hazel eyes sparkle in the moonlight, they're full of compassion and something Josh can't entirely put into words. Her blonde hair is slightly messy, but the pieces that frame her face remain in place. It isn't just blonde, but golden. It falls on her shoulders like a blanket of silk. Her mascara is slightly smudged, but it just looks like eyeshadow under her eyes. Her voice is husky and her words are mumbled. She's slightly pale from the cold but the tip of her nose is red. Her blue sweater is now completely off her shoulder now, revealing her lavender bra strap. She bat her long lashes at Josh, smiling at him. He can barely control himself anymore, he wants to crawl on top of her and kiss her neck until his lips grow sore. He wants to dance with her in the mornings before she leaves.
"I love you, Sam." Josh blurts.
The cold air dissipates and is replaced with thick, warm air that feels like a blanket. For Sam, at least. Josh is freezing, even more than before. Sam sits up completely and rubs her tired eyes.
"What?" Sam doesn't seem angry, or even shocked. Just confused.
"I've loved you since Hannah introduced you to me." Josh continues. "It's been killing me all night. The fact you'll never feel the way I do. I want to be as gentle as you, I want to see the world like you, I wanna be able to find love in things the way you can. You're sensitive and smart, you're everything I want to be. But, I'm sick, Sam. I think the world is out to get me. I hate everything because I'm nothing. I could barely get up out of be--" This time, Josh is the one interrupted.
Sam grabs the back of Josh's neck and kisses him. Josh's body stiffens before melting at her touch. Sam pulls away and looks at Josh.
"I love you too, Josh." She smiles.
Josh pulls her back in, much softer than their initial kiss. His lips are chapped and hers are warm, she tastes like peaches. Josh leans back on the couch and Sam crawls on top of him. He grabs her waist, kissing her softly and slowly. There is a distinct difference between the two. Josh's hands are dry and rough, yet his touch is warm and gentle. Sam's hands are smooth and soft, she's much more passionate in her grasp. Her moan is slightly high pitched compared to her speaking voice. Josh slides his hand up from Sam's waist and holds the back of her neck. He groans softly, like he's finally feasting after being starved for years. Sam breaks from the kiss for air, looking into Josh's eyes tenderly. Josh reaches up to Sam, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"You're so pretty." Josh says, completely smitten.
"Ooh, wait here." Sam stands up.
Sam walks over towards a shelf full of Josh's vinyls before landing on A Hard Day's Night by The Beatles. She lies the vinyl on the turntable before picking up the arm and skipping to a specific song. The song she chose is And I Love Her.
"C'mere, Josh." She slowly walks back over to Josh, grabbing his hand.
"I don't dance." He says.
"It's a slow song. It's just us, I won't judge." She chuckles.
Josh begrudgingly stands up. He allows Sam to guide him. Sam holds the back of Josh's neck with both hands and Josh holds her waist. Slowly, they sway. Despite the February cold, the two have never felt more warm. Josh's emerald eyes sparkle and admire Sam once more. This time, there is no pit in his stomach as he does so. He doesn't feel stupid for cherishing his girl. No, this time he feels proud. Sam stands up on her toes and kisses Josh gently.
"How about we get coffee tomorrow and talk about all of this?" Sam asks.
"I think I can do that." Josh can barely speak because he can't stop smiling. "You know, Sam, I didn't even mean to tell you. You just looked so stunning. I just blurted it by accident."
Sam throws her head back and laughs. "Well, I'm glad you did."
Eternity could pass them by and neither of them would notice, they'd be more than content to spend forever in each other's arms. Josh finally has all he's ever needed and Sam has what she never knew she wanted. They dance in harmony of the trees in the wind. Deer scamper through the woods and the snow dances through the sky. The night may grow old, but tonight they won't. Tonight Josh will have Sam and the mountain will have their reflections.