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He thought he was alone in the building. Everyone had disappeared hours ago. Went on with their evening probably drinking with their friends. Some might have went home, alone or with their significant others, cuddling on the floor with heater on to make each other warm. Most studied more because that was what their life was all about anyway. From regular school to nigh school and then repeat.
Bobby didn't do any of that. He was now alone in the huge and empty school building, wandering in the hallways, making his way slowly up, floor by floor. Music playing in his ears trying his best to focus on the melodies and the lyrics than anything else that was making most of his days worse.
Bobby was now lonelier than ever. Sure he had friends, he had a lot of them but none who he could trust, could tell about his worries. Only friends he would try to laugh with and try to hide his sadness. First he thought it was just the season. As the snow melted and trees started to bloom with flowers and the sun got up more. Everything turned warm, people were happy again and just watching that made Bobby jealous when it looked like he was the only one who couldn't pick up on the joy, when it seemed like he was the only one who stayed the same. He stayed sad, he didn't get the happy feeling of spring and summer coming like everyone else.
There was really no reason. It was just like that and it had been for a while.He thought it was just the season. The winter and the darkness, but it wasn't. When everything else had changed Bobby didn't.
He had sneaked himself back to the school when everyone else had left. None of the security cameras actually worked so he was able to stroll around without any distraction. He really could've just go home, but to be honest it was way easier to get his mind off things while alone, and the school was just perfect for that. Alone, no one else.
He got to the last floor and made up to the last stairs that went up to the roof. Bobby hadn't been there because in the winter in was not very ideal place to hang around, but now it was just perfect. He had ditched the key to the roof from the teachers facility room, it was easier than he thought. He got to the door and turned the key in the lock, it didn't do anything. The door was already open. Huh. Well. Easier to come to the roof from now on. Bobby shrugged his shoulders and pushed the door open.
Bobby just barely made it out of the door when he noticed that there was someone else on there too. He thought he was alone in the whole building, but apparently he wasn't. He didn't recognize the person. He had the same color tie on him that Bobby had so they were both first year students. It made sense that Bobby didn't know him, there were just too many students in the school.
He was sitting on the edge of the roof, dangling his feet and leaning his chest to the railing.
He didn't seem to notice Bobby so he decided not to close the door completely behind him. He turned off his music and made his way to the other student as quietly as possible.
He was few meters away. One meter away. The boy turned around and looked slightly shocked and started to look around him.
”I thought I was the only one in this school. Don't worry. I don't have a permission to be here either”
Bobby made quickly his way next to the boy while explaining.
”Oh. Umm...” The boy calmed down as fast as he was shocked. But rather than looking calm or relieved he looked. Worried? Was it because Bobby scared him?
”So what'u doing here?” Bobby looked at the boy still. His hair was in a dark brown shade. His eyes were dark and he had a small frown on his face. His cheeks seemed a little pink. Maybe from the wind. He didn't seem to mind Bobby's presence too much despite the fact that he was twisting his hands in his lap and avoiding any eye contact, pursing his lips together.
”I..umm. Just thinking. You know” He had turned his face forward not looking Bobby in the eye.
”You know it's kind of dangerous. You could fall easily from here. Unless you were planning to I mean..” That was totally a joke, but then the other turned his face down and bit his lower lip slightly.
Oh.
Bobby just stared for a bit. Maybe a little too long, but he didn't know what else to do really. What could he have done or said. He tried to think something, anything.
”Well” Bobby said finally, moved a little closer, pulled his phone and earphones from his pocket. Pushed the other one in his ear and the other end he offered to the other boy. ”That makes two of us”
After a slight confused and slightly more pink face the other boy took the ear piece from Bobby's hand and pushed it to his own ear.
”I was listening to this song while I was climbing up the stairs here. And. It sort of made me feel a bit better. Just a tad. Great lyrics I mean.”
Bobby turned the song back on where it had paused.
The boys face seemed concentrated. He was listening closely with his eyes closed. He breathe out a small sigh when the song ended and gave back the earphone. Nodded his head.
”I like the line” Bobby said while getting up on his feet. He extended his arm to the boy who crabbed it unexpectedly fast and pulled himself up too.
”One day at a time, the sun gon’ shine”
The boy didn't say anything to that. Just lifted the other corner of his mouth. Tried to smile with no much of a success.
”I'm Kim Jiwon. You can call me Bobby if you want to” Bobby tried to smile too.
”Kim Hanbin”
*
Hanbin had promised Bobby when they got down from the roof yesterday that he would be there the next day. Not on the edge this time, so when Bobby made his way up, opened the door that wasn't locked, Hanbin was sitting at the center of the roof, lifting his face to greet Bobby. Cheeks lightly pink. He didn't smile or frown but just followed Bobby with his eyes as he got closer.
Bobby sat in front of Hanbin crossing his legs like Hanbin had and pulled two coffees and two triangle shaped sandwiches out of his bag, offered the other two for Hanbin who gave him just an eyebrow raise.
”It's for you. Thought you might be hungry. You like coffee right?”
Bobby just had guessed. He didn't know for sure of course and he had spent way too long wondering what Hanbin might like in the store. Coffee was quite safe right? And sandwiches right? It had took him 10 minutes at least and suspicious glances from the store employer. And on the top of that he had to run up to the roof top. Or he didn't have to but he couldn't risk it if Hanbin wasn't there. If he had left after having to wait too long. Not that it would have made any difference if he wasn't except like, wasted money, or that's what Bobby told himself. Hanbin took both items from Bobby.
”I do. Thanks”
”No problem”
*
It had been two weeks since Bobby had first made his way to the school roof.
It had been two weeks and a few things had already changed. Not drastically but somewhat better and maybe easier. It was easier to stay there because it was warmer and warmer each day, not too hot, just comfortable enough to stay for longer.
It was easier for Bobby to meet Hanbin since he would greet Bobby with a smile and he would talk more. It turns out Hanbin mostly is alone in his house since his mom is usually gone on long business trips and he doesn't have any other family near by. Bobby's parents just worked really late so it didn't really matter if he was home or not. It's not like anyone would've noticed
Hanbin's cheeks would stay in a light pink shade even when it wasn't windy. Maybe it was just his natural cheek color but they got even more pink every time Bobby pinched them. Hanbin would whine but he didn't seem to completely hate it or he just didn't bother to stop Bobby. Bobby liked when Hanbin smiled because Hanbin used to have a really cold look on his face and he would even now show it every now and then but Bobby figured if he could keep his face on the smiling side, everything would eventually be okay. Just a little bit more maybe and everything would be okay.
”You know. Today after the last class” Hanbin took a sip of his coffee that Bobby had brought with him. ”The guys in my class started to yell weird stuff to me again”
”Did they find you another imaginary boyfriend?”
Some people in his class had started to bully Hanbin right away when they school started last year. It was usually small and it had calmed down few times but apparently it was now worse that ever. Hanbin didn't know why. For some reason they had picked him. There was nothing that stood out in him so there probably was no reason why it was Hanbin.
Hanbin bit his lip. ”Yeah” Hanbin said in a low voice looking away but Bobby could see his eyes get watery. It hurt Bobby so much. He wanted to punch something or someone. Those fucking idiots probably.
”Oh fuck” Bobby hissed and almost threw his coffee on the ground while getting up and squatting straight in front of Hanbin who had just barely hold his tears. He grabbed both sides of Hanbin's cheeks and turned his face to him. Shit. Maybe it wasn't a good idea. Hanbin was so ingredebly close to his face. Oh fuck. Why did he look so perfect. Bobby was sure his heart skipped a beat. Or two. But it was just that he was so pissed okay. Right. Okay. Concentrate Bobby.
”Hanbin. Listen” He managed to say. ”Those fuckers do not deserve to treat you like that so. Please. Don't give in to them. Okay. I will beat the living shit out of them one day”
”No! You can't! They will just bully you too” Hanbin jerked his face out of Bobby's hands. Oh god did he really hold on for that long. Was Hanbin that pink a second ago? Shit. No. Focus.
”I know.” Bobby sat on his but again. ”That's why I said someday” Bobby mumbled and it was quiet. Really quiet. Hanbin looked at him for so long and Bobby tried like hell not to look anywhere else that Hanbin's eyes. Not his pink cheeks. Not big but cute nose, not his perfect lips or his long-ish hair that almost covered his eyes when the wind wasn't blowing.
Bobby finally broke the silence.
”If you ever need me, just call me, or text me or whatever. But just please do that if you need to”
”Okay”
*
It did calm down. It got terribly quiet at some point. Almost like everything was normal but just everyone still ingoring him. Even Bobby had to. It hurt him but Hanbin would not let him close during the school day. He said it was better that way and Hanbin started to shine even more around Bobby but it it still hurt him seeing him all alone.
It was a day like any other. It was little bit more cloudy, it had got warmer to the point where they had to sit under the one spot where there was shade. They couldn't keep their school uniform jackets on, they had to change from drinking hot coffee to cold. Bobby was getting all the stuff he had got to the roof as fast as he could and Hanbin was already there like usual, hiding from the sun. Bobby rushed over and pulled two ice creams out of the bag.
”Quick, they are melting. Chocolate right?”
Bobby had bought one vanilla and one chocolate ice cream just in case he was remembering wrong Hanbin's taste. But judging by the look on Hanbin's face he had nailed the flavor. Hanbin reached for the chocolate one, opened it and licked the already melting ice cream.
It was a day like any other, everything else had felt the same. The school was the same and he acted the same. Hanbin acted the same. Or he had. Now he was different. He shined, he looked happy and radiant and he was smiling his eyes were almost sparking in a way Bobby had never seen before. His cheeks were still as pink as ever but it was almost like he was meeting Hanbin again for the first time. Bobby had to admit he liked this Hanbin a lot. He showed that side of him quite often these days but today there was nothing else. Just Hanbin smiling, just him looking at Bobby with his eyes glistening and with his cheeks flushed.
It was little hot but the sun had started to go down slowly. The roof was still too hot to sit anywhere else but where they were. They had to loosen their ties and open the first buttons of their shirt. It would have been okay if the skin under Hanbin's shirt wasn't so distracting. Had Hanbin always been this distracting? Why did Bobby even notice his collarbones peeking under his shirt. Oh god Hanbin's collarbones. Bobby moved way too quickly forgetting Hanbin was leaning on his shoulder and it of course made Hanbin fell on his elbow.
”Shit. Sorry” Bobby said quickly helping Hanbin back up.
”You okay? What was that?”
It was Hanbin's collarbones what it was Bobby wanted to say. No. Definitely did not want to say.
”Umm..nothing. Sorry. I was just. In thought. Did you get hurt?” Definitely in thought.
”No. I'm fine” Hanbin brushed his elbow. ”You on the other hand seem odd today. Are you sure you're fine?”
”What? Me? I'm fine. Really” was he sounding weird? He was sounding weird. Why couldn't he act normal.
Hanbin gave him a look. ”Lies” Hanbin said and leaned forward to put his and on Bobby's forehead.
”Wow. You're warm”
Fuck. Did Hanbin have to come so god damn close. This was not the plan. It was to get further away. Not closer. But it was not like Bobby could have moved anywhere. He was pinned to the wall behind him. No escape. And Hanbin had him against the wall and there was absolutely nothing in Bobby's mind.
Hanbin moved his hand to Bobby's neck no find his pulse. Bobby just tried to breath slowly.
”You're pulse is kind of high. Did you got sun struck?”
Bobby almost didn't hear anything. His eyes focused on Hanbin's lips moving.
”Bobby?”
He snapped out of it. It was okay. He got this. It was just Hanbin.
”Yeah. I just. Just need something to drink maybe.”
”Oh. I think we have to go buy some.”
”Yeah”
Bobby thught he got this. He thought he had himself under control but he almost lost it when Hanbin pulled him up and sarted to button his shit up. He thought he got it but Hanbin was just too fucking close. His hands were on his shirt collar and it felt like his lips just inches away from Hanbin's.
But Hanbin loosened his grip and stepped away. Thank god.
”Let's go” Hanbin waved his hand at Bobby's direction. ”If you can walk there” He added sarcastically but to be honest Bobby wasn't completely sure.
It had gotten just worse. Bobby thought he was actually getting sick. Why was he even sitting in Hanbin's room. Why did he agree to this. This wasn't a good idea. This was bad.
But there were absolutely no reasons for him to decline Hanbin's offer when he had asked him if he would like to stay at his house. He could've made an excuse but it would have been poinless. Hanbin knew that Bobby had no other things to do and he didn't want to stay home alone so it there was no use to lie. But there he was, in the middle of Hanbin's room looking at the walls and sealing and out of the window or just anything else but Hanbin who was changing his school uniform to his normal clothes. It was nothing, really, just you know, distracting. Bobby had gotten spare clothes too but he had changed them in the bathroom for some reason.
”Do you want something to eat? I think my mom made something this morning.” Hanbin was standing already in the doorway to his room with his changed clothes and Bobby finally was brave enough to look back at him. He had navy blue shorts and a white t-shirt with a little too big neck hole for Bobby's taste. But Hanbin looked cute. Way better that the school outfit he thought. No. He did not think that.
”Yeah. Sure” Bobby got up and followed Hanbin to the kitchen. Hanbin's mom left that morning for Japan so it was just them at Hanbin's house.
*
”Wow. Is it that late already” Bobby looked at his phone. It said 10.00pm. He showed the time to Hanbin too.
”Oh”
They both had somehow lost the track of time after eating and laying on the living room couch or on the floor watching some tv shows or more like giggling and rolling on the floor with the tv making some backround noice. Bobby sure didn't mind because Hanbin was way more interesting than the tv and Bobby just had the hardest time taking his eyes off Hanbin's, or his smile, and he didn't completely wanted to.
”I should probably leave” Bobby started to get up from the floor but Hanbin stopped him grabbing Bobby from the wrist.
”Or..” Hanbin said his voice quiet and small ”You could stay the night if you want to”
Bobby wanted to say no. He would've if Hanbin didn't bite his lower lip and get completely red. He would've said no, but instead an ”Okay” just came out of his mouth.
*
Hanbin had tried to offer him his bed to sleep in but Bobby refused. He was going to sleep on the floor and nowhere else. He had said something about being noisy and moving a lot and that he would probably kick Hanbin in his sleep and just all the excuses that were not true at all to Hanbin so he would be convinced to sleep alone in his huge bed. It had more than enough room for two but it would be disastrous. He didn’t exactly know how but it was just a big no-no. He wouldn’t think about it. He wasn’t thinking about it when he was laying on the floor of Hanbin’s room. On a really comfortable mattress. He was tired and he really wanted to be sleeping right now but Bobby’s brain had made it's mission to keep him awake. He kept looking over at Hanbin who was peacefully sleeping in his bed.
He looked contained and his long eyelashes were visible even from Bobby’s distance in the dark room. Hanbin made cute humming noises in his sleep and it kept Bobby so awake. It was cute but Bobby wanted to sleep badly but sleep just didn’t want to come. His brain was too cluttered and his thoughts so unorganized. He was mostly thinking about the day he had spent with Hanbin. It had been nice. Almost too nice to the point where Bobby was surely making himself comfortable around Hanbin. Then his thoughts switched to thinking how warm and soft Hanbin’s bed looked like and to the fact that he kind of wanted to be there too. Hugging Hanbin from the behind and snuggling his face close to Hanbin's neck and clenching their hands together and feeling Hanbin’s warm back against his chest. And that’s when Bobby paused himself and got up to get some fresh air in their balcony that was right across Hanbin’s room.
Bobby slid the door open and left it just a tiny bit open so he wouldn’t lock himself out the whole night. It was chilly and the breeze made his skin have goosebumps and a shiver went straight down his spine as he stepped on the damp wooden floor of the balcony with his bare feet. He had his t-shirt and shorts on that he got from Hanbin but the air felt still cool on his skin. Cool enough to make his head more clear or at least calm himself down.
He didn't know he would ever feel this way about a guy but Hanbin just had came to his life unexpectedally and stuck to Bobby's side. He didn't know that he would feel like this towards anyone for a while at least but there Hanbin was slowly making Bobby have hard time being around him without Bobby being distracted by Hanbin's cute cheeks and his pretty lips. But to be honest Bobby wouldn't have it any other way. Hanbin was more happy than before, he smiled, he laughed, he talked with Bobby, he spent time with him and it made Bobby happy so he was okay with what they had. Hanbin's happiness came first and nothing else mattered.
Bobby heard a small squeak come behind him but he didn't turn to look. Then he felt someone pull the hem of his shirt down weakly two times. It finally made Bobby's head turn.
Hanbin was behind him rubbing his sleepy eyes.
”What are you doing here?” Hanbin's voice was so soft and sleepy it made Bobby smile a little.
”Can't sleep” Bobby turned completely to Hanbin who was still holding on to Bobby's shirt.
”You're okay?” Hanbin was standing and slightly wobbling so close to Bobby and it made Bobby's heart pound more than he wanted to admit.
”Yeah” He swallowed. ”I'm fine”
”Okay. Care to come back inside. It's kind of chilly here” which was probably why Hanbin's cheeks were so pink again.
”Yeah. Of course.” Hanbin gave a smirk. ”Let's try to sleep”
”We don't have school tomorrow. It's not that big of a deal” Bobby wasn't sure where he was going with this argument. He got a funny look from Hanbin.
”Let's just go back in.” Hanbin got in and Bobby followed closing the door behind him.
Hanbin curled under his blanket and for a second Bobby just stared at his bed on the floor blankly. He wasn't sure if he was going to get any sleep but he figured it was worth trying.
Bobby was just about to get to his matress but Hanbin's hand reached under his blanket and curled his fingers around Bobby's wrist. Hanbin lifted his cover so his face would show completely. He looked at Bobby and Bobby could only look back.
”If you can't sleep” Hanbin looked away. His voice came out significantly softer this time. ”You can always sleep on the bed” Hanbin bit his lower lip.
It was the second time that day that Bobby's mouth spoke without his permission. ”Okay”.
It seemed like a bad idea. It seemed like the worst idea ever but at the same time Bobby managed to actually fall asleep after Hanbin pressed his chest against Bobby's back, snugged his face to the curve of Bobby's neck, breathed out warm air and curled his hand around Bobby's waist finding his hand in Bobby's.
Bobby opened his eyes squinting them because of the light that was coming through the window. He propped himself on his elbow and rubbed his eyes. He had to look around trying to remember exactly where he was. Then he felt movement behind his back and then he remembered. He was in Hanbin's room. On the same bed with Hanbin who was now what it seemed to like waking up and Bobby kind of wanted to fall down from the bed to his mattress in front of the bed which he didn't end up using and pretend to be sleeping, but instead he turned himself around to look at Hanbin's (gorgeous) face. He had his eyes barely open but he was looking directly to Bobby's eyes and smiled his crazy cute smile. Bobby would have been lying if he said he wasn't about to melt at the sight.
”Morning” Hanbin mumbled yawned and gave another smile.
Something in Bobby twitched and was too late when he realized what he was doing. For some reason he just leaned in over Hanbin who was laying on his back and pressed his lips to Hanbin's. But it was too late when Bobby noticed what he'd just done. He was pressing his lips to Hanbin's incredibly soft ones and it was too late to take it back.
”Oh shit” Bobby pulled away, covered his mouth like that would change anything. ”Oh shit” he said again. ”I'm so sorry I-I don't know what's...oh god. I'm so...fuck. Shit..” Bobby was about to get the hell out of there as fast as he could but when he looked at Hanbin, he was smiling that stupid gorgeous crazy cute smile of his.
”It's okay Bobby” Hanbin was still smiling and Bobby had frozen to his place but then Hanbin just so effortlessly pressed Bobby back down on his back and climbed on top of Bobby's hips and leaned down until he was just few inches away from Bobby's face and Bobby found it again very hard to move. Not like he wanted to.
”If you don't mind” Hanbin pecked a small kiss on Bobby's cheek. ”I don't mind”
”Fuck no I don't mind” He didn't. The only thing he minded was that his body felt hundred times hotter than normally but he decided to fix that by pulling Hanbin down from his neck and kissing him again. Bobby lost track of time completely and they stayed like that probably forever but neither of them minded. Bobby didn't. He wanted to hold Hanbin close to him as long as possible.
*
It was the day before summer break and they had started to hang out during school for couple of weeks now. Nothing seemed exceptionally odd except for few awkward glances and some whispering behind their backs but nothing more than that. Until this morning when they had walked in school and some of Hanbin's bullies laughed and yelled some rude shit which Bobby surprisingly had kept his cool. It was close then but he didn't snap.
It was later the day when the school ended and Bobby found Hanbin cornered in the school cafeteria when he couldn't hold himself back. Hanbin had asked some time ago not to do anything but he wasn't going to watch this. Not anymore.
Hanbin was cornered at the other side of the room with three other kids around him, poking him, pushing him, pulling his hair, hitting his stomach until there were visible tears in Hanbin's eyes. And that's when Bobby snapped.
Thankfully all it took was him yelling at the top of his lungs, slamming a tray from one of the tables to the floor, pulling one of them from their collar away from Hanbin, a small word changing of ”Get the fuck away from him” a push back to another ones chest, a ”What? Are you his boyfriend or something?” from the third one and a ”Yes. If you have a fucking problem with that come say it next time to me”, a step forward and they were gone.
It was quiet and Bobby breathed out the air he was holding in his lungs and turned to Hanbin who was no more sobbing but still red and shivering.
”I'm sorry I yelled” Bobby finally said to Hanbin who had come closer and buried his face on Bobby's shoulder. ”I just couldn't help myself. I'm sorry”
”It's okay” Hanbin mumbled in to Bobby's shoulder. ”Thanks”
Bobby pulled Hanbin closer and buried his face to Hanbin's neck.
*
Hanbin asked again today like almost everyday for Bobby to stay at his house and when they got there, Hanbin's mom was cooking dinner. They ate, they talked and they watched some tv and when the night came Bobby agreed to stay for the night like he almost always did.
They were sitting in the balcony watching the stars that you could see in the city. Hanbin held Bobby's hand in his, twisted his arm under Bobby's and leaned his head to Bobby's shoulder and let out a sigh.
”You're okay now” Bobby turned his face to see Hanbin's. He brushed his hair away from his face.
”I'm here with you”
”I know”
Hanbin got up to cup Bobby's jaw in his hand and Bobby kissed Hanbin's cheek and his lips. Hanbin pulled little distance between them
"One day at a time" Hanbin almost whispered like he didn't want anyone to hear him.
"The sun gon' shine" Bobby whispered back.