Chapter Text
“ACHOO!”
Bilbo loudly sneezed into his handkerchief, which he pulled out of the chest pocket of his golden vest. The pony he was riding on let out a tiny whinny in response and stopped from her lazy trot as she started backing up a bit. Her ears pointed behind her as her eyes went wide to show that she had been spooked by the sudden noise. The hobbit stumbled at the sudden jerking movement but he quickly recovered placing a reassuring hand on her neck beginning to pet her shaggy coat.
“Easy old girl, steady,” He soothed, petting the pony until she calmed beginning her trot once more. “Sorry, Myrtle just these dreadful allergies,” He then smiled holding up the tiny cloth in his hands before placing it in his vest pocket, tucking it a couple of times as he spoke. “Good thing I remembered to pack my handkerchief this time.”
He chuckled as Myrtle only nickered in response shaking her head as she trotted along. He gave her one more gentle pat before looking ahead, a smile on his face when he finally made it out of the forest clearing and was able to see his home, the Shire, from where he was. Bilbo had been away on an errand that Gandalf had sent him on. Nothing too dangerous, but he wasn’t going to pretend he wasn’t annoyed being tasked to leave his cozy little burrow for a week and a half, having to travel non-stop on the back of his pony, leaving his bottom rather sore and numb at times if he was honest. But at least he was finished with his errand, and almost home where his husband, Thorin, his sweet nephew Frodo, and his wonderful dwarf friends were waiting.
After the battle of the Five Armies, and almost losing his life to both the war and gold sickness, Thorin decided that it was best if he hung up the crown and went into retirement, only to keep his gold sickness from worsening, afraid that the longer he was around the gold his sickness would return. So he gave the title to his cousin Dain Ironfoot who would be next in line before his two dear nephews. He originally wanted to give the title to Fili, but he refused, feeling he wasn’t ready for the crown. And Kili, followed what his brother did and refused also, both fearing they would be affected by the gold as well and weren’t ready for the responsibility, which Thorin understood, thus allowing Dain to take the crown, and once he passed, Fili would take his place on the throne. So for now, he along with the other dwarves decides to reside in the shire with Bilbo, finding it very peaceful there and far from the gold of the mountain’s reach to affect Thorin. The homes were welcoming and cozy, their food warm and delicious, and better yet, their favorite hobbit lived there.
They all adored Bilbo so much, so when he had to return home, they feared they couldn’t part from the hobbit just yet and decided to follow him home where they stayed ever since. Thorin was the worse for it, ever since their last battle where Bilbo saved him from Azog once again, he had grown rather affectionate for the Hobbit, feeling like he could never leave his side again. So he was more than thrilled when Bilbo agreed that he and the company could come back home with him. He admired the hobbit, but pretty soon that admiration started to turn into something more intimate, finding that he had fallen for Bilbo Baggins. Soon he’s come to realize the reason he had such strong feelings for him was because Bilbo was his one, which was another way of saying that he was his solemate, his other half he would share the rest of his life with.
So he began courting him, hoping that the hobbit reciprocated his feelings and to his surprise and delight Bilbo had felt the same way, finding that he had fallen for him long before the battle of the five armies.
A few years had passed since Thorin’s courtship when they finally wed. Both exchanged beads that they braided into each other’s hair. One made of silver from Thorin, hanging on the end of a braid that Bilbo grew out on his right side and one made of wood, whittled by Bilbo in the shape of an acorn that at first. Hung in one of Thorin’s side braids before moving to his beard when it grew long enough, forever binding their love to each other until their passing. Decades had passed since then and Thorin and Bilbo couldn’t be happier, both living in Bilbo’s little burrow, Bag End, while the others lived in neighboring burrows nearby, all having supper together almost every night. They didn’t think their little family could get any bigger until Bilbo’s first cousin, Frodo, came into the picture. His parents tragically passed away when he was around 4 and he was living with relatives until Bilbo took him in as his own, feeling a connection to the young Faunt, seeing a bit of himself in him. Thorin was a little hesitant at the idea at first, especially when Frodo was a little intimidated by him, but when the young faunt started to warm up to him and Bilbo, he couldn’t imagine a life without him. Frodo was now 6 and almost turning 7 and couldn’t be happier, seeing Bilbo and Thorin as the best parents he’s had since his bio parents' passing.
Bilbo could tell that Thorin was much happier with the life he had chosen with him, he smiled and laughed a lot more, joining in much jollier songs when the others sang. He played with Frodo and other little hobbit children when they all swarmed him outside in the early mornings, causing Bilbo to chuckle as the children tackled him in their garden. Bilbo also noticed that he had gained a bit of weight since living with him, probably from trying to keep up with Bilbo and Frodo’s eating schedules since he wants to spend all of his meal times with him but the hobbit didn’t complain, he was more than thrilled, finding that the dwarf looked much healthier than when he first met him.
But along with good days, there were some bad days, sure. Days when Thorin had told Bilbo that he didn’t feel like he deserved the happy life he was given after everything that had happened in the past. Thorin remembered how he treated the hobbit when he was under the influence of the gold sickness, how cruel he was to him. Hell, he was awful to him the first time that they met, thinking the hobbit wasn’t worth anything for their mission. Thorin sometimes didn’t understand how Bilbo could love him and want to spend the rest of his life with him after how cruel he was. He often tried to distance himself from the hobbit on those bad days, feeling like he didn’t deserve his kindness, his comfort, or even his touch.
In the beginning of their relationship, it was very rocky during those times, every night he was riddled with nightmares of himself during the gold sickness, reliving the day he almost threw Bilbo over the edge of the rampart after he had given the Arkenstone to the elves. Some dreams he’d actually go through with it, letting the hobbit fall, waking up screaming before Bilbo hit the bottom, leaving him in shambles, guilt consuming him faster than the gold sickness ever has.
However, Bilbo was always there, pulling the trembling dwarf close after waking from his nightmares, showing that he was safe and sound next to him in their shared bed. He was far too stubborn to let Thorin distance himself when he tried, being attached at the hip with him until his dark thoughts subsided. The dwarf always wonders why the hobbit puts up with someone as broken as him, but Bilbo would always tell him that no matter how broken the old king becomes, like cracked stone, Bilbo would always be there to pick up the pieces, holding them close like they were precious gems. Eventually, the bad days will pass and Thorin will be much happier once more. He still doesn’t understand how the hobbit could ever want to be with a dwarf like him and love him despite everything, but he’s grateful nonetheless.
And loved him, Bilbo did. He loved both Thorin and Frodo with all his heart and was missing them dearly, so when his eyes finally landed on Hobbiton, he couldn’t contain his excitement, lightly nudging Myrtle to pick up the pace receiving a grunt in response as she trotted faster. As she picked up speed, Bilbo reached into the sack on the side of his pony, pulling out an object and looking it over.
It was a rather large rock, almost the size of his palm and it shone purple in the light. He remembered when he was packing for his trip, he turned around to see Thorin holding it in his hands before holding it out toward the hobbit, avoiding his eyes as he spoke.
“Take this with you while on your journey,” He remembered the dwarf saying as he took it from him, looking it over and feeling the smoothness of it with the pad of his fingers. “It’s for good luck… and to remember me when you feel alone.”
Bilbo smiled at the memory as he held the rock close looking it over one last time before placing it in the pocket of his jacket, clutching Myrtle’s reins as the pony got closer and closer to his home. He could barely contain his excitement. He couldn’t wait to see Frodo, Thorin, and the other dwarves. He couldn’t wait to share his stories with them and hug his nephews and hold Thorin in his arms once more. And best of all, he couldn’t wait to share Lithe with them which was only a week away, and compete in the bakery competition, which he had won almost every single time. Usually, he makes his famous Apple and Blackberry tart. And with what he had in his satchel, he’s bound to win once again.
On the quest that Gandalf sent him on, he had to pass through Rivendell where the plants flourished in the care of the elves. Not only were they known for their yummy vegetables, they also had the freshest most nutritious fruits Bilbo had ever tasted. And being a close friend with Elrond, the lord Elf gifted the hobbit with a variety of fruits, some being Blackberries and apples that would be perfect for his tart. A smile formed on his face at the thought of him, Thorin, and his nephews Frodo, Kili, and Fili all working together to make tarts for the competitions so he didn’t waste any time getting home to Bag End.
…
While finally making it to the quiet town of Hobbiton, Bilbo decided to walk the rest of the way, leading Myrtle by her reins and feeding her apples along the way, having enough for the tarts and to keep the pony fat and happy. He waved at the other hobbits as he passed by, some waving back in return with a big smile giving small talk as he continued his walk. Despite most of the residents' disapproval of Bilbo and finding him odd for his adventures and allowing a bunch of Dwarves to move in around him, some viewed Bilbo in a better light and would be kind to him every time they saw him, but as he got closer to his house, he noticed that some of the hobbits would stare at him wearily. He did try to wave giving them a kind smile but his smile would waver when they would look from him to Bag End then back to him before going into their house hastily. Some dragged their children into their homes when he passed. This caused Bilbo to frown looking down on the trail he was walking. Normally his neighbors were a little more friendly with him. They haven’t been this weary since the dwarves moved in.
“Did something happen while I was away?” He thought to himself, but before he could ponder on the question any more a familiar voice broke him from his thoughts.
“Ah, Master Baggins! It’s good to see you back!”
Bilbo jumped blinking his eyes in shock before looking up to see that it was his neighbor, Mister Worrywart who was in his garden in his front yard, holding a hand rake in one hand while waving at Bilbo with the other. His shocked expression softened into a warm smile, waving to his neighbor as he spoke. “Good morning, Mr. Worrywart!”
“Isn’t it just?” Worrywart agreed looking around with a smile. “Nothing but blue skies and warm weather this fine morning,” He then turned back to Bilbo looking him up and down. “It’s good to see you back in one piece. Hopefully, the wizard hadn’t sent you on a mission too dangerous.”
“Not this time,” Bilbo chuckled, placing a hand on the bridge of Myrtle’s nose when she nudged him for more apples. “It was a fairly easy errand with all things considered,” He then let out a sigh as he looked around trying to pretend not to notice a hobbit in their home, peaking out their window to look at him before swiftly closing the blinds when they caught him looking. He then looked back at Worrywart, glad that he wasn’t looking at him the same way the other hobbits were. “So, how was everything while I was gone? I hope my company hasn’t been causing too much trouble.”
“Oh, the dwarves?” Worrywart questioned, his smile falling slightly as he now began avoiding Bilbo’s eyes causing the hobbit to frown a bit watching his neighbor begin rubbing the back of his head. “Yeah no, most of them haven’t caused much trouble but-.”
Bilbo waited patiently for his neighbor to speak but he suddenly went quiet, his lips pressing into a fine line, almost like he was nervous to tell him. The hobbit tilted his head slightly trying to meet his neighbor’s eyes as he ushered him to continue. “But what, Mr. Worrywart?”
Worrywart was quiet for a long pause before he let out a sigh, meeting Bilbo’s eyes once more. “It’s about your husband, Thorin.”
Worry started to show in Bilbo’s features, his brow furrowing while he looked at his neighbor in confusion. “Thorin?” He questioned watching Worrywart give him a nod. “What about him?”
“Well, everything was fine the first few days since your departure,” Worrywart began looking around like he was making sure no one was listening before turning back to Bilbo. “Thorin would do his usual rounds of making sure something needed fixing, He helped me fix my fencing in my garden after it toppled over.”
Bilbo couldn’t help but smile at that, a warm feeling forming in his chest after hearing his neighbor’s story. That sounded like Thorin, always trying to keep busy and trying to fix things. Since dwarves were well-known crafters, toy makers, and blacksmiths, everyone in the town would always come to him for commissions or if something needed fixing. But that warm feeling was beginning to grow cold the longer he heard Worrywart’s story.
“So the next day, I believe it was day four after your departure, I picked some of the freshest vegetables from my garden to give to him as a thank you for helping me with my fence,” Worrywart explained, his frown deepening as he looked at the ground. “But when I knocked on his door he swung the door open and looked at me but he had no smile like he usually did. He almost looked angry, something fierce. I tried doing small talk like I usually did but his responses were short and cold. Then I tried to give him the vegetables when he suddenly snapped that he didn’t want my useless food before slamming the door in my face.”
Bilbo’s brow shot up in surprise, a lump forming in his throat at seeing the frown upon his neighbor’s face watching as his grip tightened on the rake he held. He looked at Worrywart in disbelief, that does not sound like Thorin at all. “He really said that?”
“That he did,” Worrywart sighed as he looked up at Bilbo. “Not long after, one of his nephews, I think it was the youngest. Kili was it?” He questioned watching as Bilbo gave him a nod, causing him to smile. “Yes, Kili, nice boy, he is. He came out shortly before I could leave and apologized profusely for Thorin’s behavior, saying he was just in a bad mood, as he graciously took the vegetables from me. I understood, everyone has their bad days.”
Bilbo looked his neighbor over, noticing that he cast his eyes to the ground, going silent once more. But he pressed on leaning forward slightly while he kept his eyes on him. “I feel like there is something else you’re not telling me.”
“Well, like I said I thought it was just one bad day,” Worrywart then looked up at Bilbo. “But every day since then, I’ve been able to hear yelling coming from Bag End. Now believe me I wasn’t trying to snoop but it was hard not to hear, and it sounded like it was mostly Thorin yelling at the other dwarves. I couldn’t catch most of it but I could tell he was angry. And sadly I wasn’t the only one who could hear the commotion. I’m sure you’ve noticed how cautious the other neighbors have been.”
“Indeed, I have noticed that,” Bilbo whispered as he looked around, finding that no one else was outside. “I hope he wasn’t treating the other neighbors as harshly as he was with you.”
“You have to leave your house to do that, which he didn’t do,” Worrywart explained at watching Bilbo’s brow knit together once more. He then motioned to his house. “Thorin hasn’t left Bag End ever since helping me with the fence and snapping at me. His smithshop has been closed ever since your departure.”
Bilbo’s worry only grew at hearing that, looking from Worrywart to Bag End, noticing how eerily quiet it was, almost as quiet as his return from the mountain. Usually, it was lively, with a dwarf or two in his yard, able to hear singing on the other side of the door, but now there was nothing but silence. This was extremely worrying for the hobbit, especially all that his neighbor said about Thorin.
“I’ll get to the bottom of what’s happening,” Bilbo whispered as he looked back at Worrywart. “And I apologize for all the trouble Thorin might have caused you. He’s never acted like this before, this is so unlike him.”
“Oh, it’s not trouble at all, I just worry for him. You’re right, he’s been nothing but a gentleman since I’ve known him, so anything otherwise is worrisome, guess my name rings true, eh?,” Worrywart chuckled as he nudged Bilbo, receiving a smile from him in return. He then reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder giving him a gentle squeeze. “You send him my regards and I hope he’s in higher spirits upon seeing you.”
“Thank you, Worrywart. I’ll be sure to tell him,” Bilbo whispered before beginning to lead Myrtle on. “You have a fine morning.”
He smiled as Worrywart gave him a small nod and a wave before going back to his garden, but his smile faded as he looked back at Bag End the lump in his throat only growing as he walked toward his home. Many questions were ringing through his head. What happened while he was away? Why was there yelling coming from his home? Were Frodo and the others safe?
What was wrong with his beloved Thorin?
The hobbit didn’t waste any time heading down that path that led to his home making it to the fence entrance. He decided to tie Myrtle’s reins on the pole at the edge of his fencing, giving her one more apple for her hard work.
“There you are, now the rest are for the tart's old girl,” He whispered petting her main one last time, before reaching for his travel bag hoisting it over his shoulder then walking toward his home. Not much was different since the last time he saw it, the grass was trimmed, his garden looked like it had been attended to, and everything seemed in order. Except there was a sign hanging right on his gate door that caused him to frown. It read No Admittance, in big well well-written letters. He was familiar with this sign, being the one that made it and putting it out every time his dreadful cousins, the Sackville-Baggins, tried to ambush him at his own home, harassing him to give the rights of Bag End to them. He hasn’t heard from his cousins in a long time so his worry only grew upon seeing the sign out once more. He let out a sigh, mentally preparing himself for what was to come as he placed his hand on the fence opening it up before entering. But before he could close the gate door, the front door suddenly swung open causing him to pause his eyes to widen upon seeing Kili walk out, holding a watering can in both hands, a frown on his face as he walked out the doorway. However, he paused as well once his eyes landed on Bilbo. His frown was replaced with a bright smile as he suddenly dropped the watering can, the sound of it clattering to the ground causing Bilbo to jump.
“Uncle Bilbo? You’re back!” Kili exclaimed receiving a smile from the hobbit. The young dwarf suddenly turned around, cupping his hand over his mouth as he shouted into the house. “It’s Bilbo! Our burglar’s back!”
Bilbo’s smile dropped when dwarves started piling out of his house one by one running down the steps toward the gate, both Kili and Fili lifting Bilbo off the ground causing the hobbit to drop his bag as they hugged him close, hoping that his fruits weren’t crushed from the impact while the others cheered in excitement. The hobbit’s smile returned as the others were talking over themselves, patting him on the back and shoulders, the only one who wasn’t swarming him was Dwalin, who was leaning on the door frame, but he had a warm smile on his face upon seeing the hobbit back safe and sound. Bilbo let out a laugh as he patted the brothers’ arms.
“Alright, settle down all of you. Let me down,” He chuckled as the others began to quiet down a bit. The two brother then set him down causing him to place his hands on both of their shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze. “It’s good to see my dear nephews.”
“We’re glad you’re back Uncle Bilbo.” Fili grinned reaching up and resting his hand over Bilbo’s.
“Uncle Bilbo, I took care of your garden, like you asked,” Kili began while also motioning over to the little garden. “I also planted the purple flowers you wanted on the edge line of the garden so you didn’t have to.”
“Hey, I helped.” Fili frowned, looking at his younger brother who only began to push his face away to shush him, causing Bilbo to laugh. Fili then pushed his brother’s hand away, looking at Bilbo with a smile. “We hope your adventure went smoothly.”
“It did, it did,” Bilbo sighed, picking up his bag from the ground. “Much easier this time around.”
“Yes, but you look rather thin. Have you not been getting enough to eat on your trip?” Bofur suddenly said getting his attention. As if on cue, Bilbo’s stomach suddenly growled very loudly causing the hobbit to look down in surprise. The dwarf just shook his head with a smile. “You’re definitely hungry after the long trip, I’ll have stu ready in no time.”
“Oh I’ll put on the tea,” Dori smiled, following Bofur in while patting Bilbo’s back as he walked past. “I’ll have your favorite ready in no time.”
“Oh, please if it’s not too much trouble,” Bilbo sighed with a smile receiving a nod from Dori as he and the other dwarves started to walk into the house. As they all piled into the parlor, Bilbo began to set his bag down when Kili suddenly grabbed it from him, causing him to blink in surprise.
“I’ll set this down for ya, Uncle Bilbo,” Kili grinned taking the bag into the other room.
“Oh, why thank you but do be careful, there are fruits for tarts in there,” Bilbo warned, beginning to shake his coat off when Fili slid it off his shoulders for him.
“I’ll hang this up for you,” Fili whispered folding the coat over his arm heading for the hangers near the door.
“Oh, thank you, boys,” Bilbo said in confusion watching Kili place his stuff on his desk and Fili hang his coat before Dwalin suddenly placed a hand on his back patting it hard enough that he almost stumbled forward but not hard enough to hurt.
“Come, rest by the fire, you must be exhausted.” Dwalin smiled leading him to the rocking chair by the fireplace.
“Oh I do feel a tad tired,” Bilbo whispered but his smile fell when he looked around, before looking back to Dwalin who was now frowning like he knew what he was about to ask. “Where’s Frodo and Thor-?”
“Uncle Bilbo?”
A quiet voice caused Bilbo to pause as a bright smile formed on his face. He turned around to see the young faunt, Frodo Baggins standing in the doorway coming from the hall, standing right next to Balin, holding the Dwarf’s pant leg as he looked a Bilbo. The older hobbit crouched to the ground reaching out for the young hobbit. “Come to me, young one,” He whispered, smiling as Frodo let go of Balin and ran into Bilbo’s arms lifting the young hobbit off the ground and hugging him close. “I’ve missed you, my boy,” He then pulled away, looking at Frodo with a warm smile, holding one of his hands in his own. “Have you been behaving while I was gone?”
“Uh-huh,” Frodo grinned, holding Bilbo’s hand tightly, his hand so small he could only hold two of his fingers. “Did you run into any more mountain trolls on your adventures Uncle Bilbo?”
“No not this time, Frodo,” Bilbo chuckled while walking back over to the fireplace setting down on the rocking chair with a sigh, setting the young hobbit on his lap. “But I will tell you about my trip once I’ve rested up.”
“Your tea, as requested Master Baggins.” Dori began as he entered the room setting Bilbo’s favorite tea cup next to him on a small table, receiving a kind thanks from the hobbit, who began sipping his tea with a sigh.
The others then began to surround the fireplace, most sitting on the floor around Bilbo or leaning on the wall. Bilbo looked at the lively group around him watching as they were all talking amongst themselves, laughing and singing. This being the Bag End he came to know now, not when he first entered the gates of his home moments prior. However, his smile fell when he noticed he was one dwarf short, a very important dwarf, the one he was bound to for the rest of their days. Thorin Oakenshield was missing from the group. Then suddenly, the conversation he had with Worrywart came to the forefront of his mind causing his bright mood to dampen as he looked at the others, who were unaware of his internal struggle.
“Wait there’s one missing,” He began amongst the dwarves talking. “Where’s Thorin?”
Suddenly the room went deathly quiet as all of the dwarves' smiles fell, looking right at Bilbo. The hobbit blinked in surprise, looking between all the dwarves, who looked as if they had seen a ghost. He noticed Kili and Fili suddenly shrank in themselves, avoiding their uncle’s gaze, when minutes ago they tried everything to get his attention. Even Dwalin was avoiding his gaze, his arms crossed and turning away, a frown etched in his features.
“You should probably have something in your stomach before all of that,” Bofur tried with a grin walking in with a bowl of stew holding it out to Bilbo. “Having an empty stomach is not good for-.”
“Guys, where is Thorin?” Bilbo began a little harsher this time, watching as Bofur fell silent holding the stew close, his eyes casting to the ground. “I would like to know if my husband is okay after a long journey.”
The group was quiet for a long time, still avoiding Bilbo’s gaze. He looked between the group trying to get a straight answer from them, feeling Frodo’s grip grow tighter around him causing him to look down at the young hobbit. A frown formed on his face at how daunted he looked. He held Frodo close, placing a hand on his head to comfort him. He then looked at the others who were now looking at him but they still looked reluctant to answer.
“Well?” He questioned, looking between them.
“He’s uh,” Dori tried, beginning to fiddle with his hands looking from Bilbo to the others who were just as nervous as he was. “He’s um… Been under the weather I guess-.”
“Something is very wrong with him,” Kili suddenly blurted out causing the others to glare at him. He shrugged while looking at the others in annoyance. “What, it’s true! Something’s not right with him!”
Bilbo’s worry returned when he looked at Kili who finally met his eyes, who looked just as worried as him. “Wrong?” He began shaking his head in confusion. “Wrong how? What’s happened to him?”
“We don’t know lad,” Balin began with a sigh causing Bilbo to turn to look at him, the hobbit now noticing the tired look in the older dwarf’s eyes. “Everything was fine the first few days ya left but after that he… He changed.”
Bilbo’s features softened holding little Frodo close while looking at Balin, dreading the answer that would come with his next question. “Changed how?”
“It started small,” Fili began as he got up, walking toward Bilbo placing a comforting hand on Frodo’s head, his eyes on his uncle while he spoke. “Letting out a huff of annoyance here, snapping at us there… But then he just kept getting worse.”
“Kili and I were arguing on which one of us was Uncle Thorin’s favorite,” Fili began motioning to him and his brother. “Sure we may have been pestering him a bit to get a straight answer, though we know he loved us equally and he always took our banter in stride but he straight-up yelled at Kili and me.”
Bilbo frowned at this, remembering all the times Thorin’s nephews always pestered him when they got the chance and he would always just smile or initiate play fights with them to get them to stop. He tilted his head, while Fili only frowned at him. “What did he say?”
“He said ‘How could he have a favorite when his sister's sons are nothing but ungrateful brats that were too weak to take on the throne after him,” Fili whispered causing Bilbo’s jaw to drop, his eyes wide with shock.
“He said-,” Bilbo whispered with a shaky gasp, the frown on Fili’s face breaking his heart while he reached up, resting a hand on his arm. “Oh, boys.”
“But that’s not all!” Kili added. “He started snapping at the kind neighbor Worryward.”
“Worrywart.” All the dwarves and Bilbo corrected in unison some rolling their eyes and shaking their heads in annoyance.
“Right, Worrywart,” Kili corrected motioning to the others before looking back to Bilbo. “He insulted his veggies and slammed the door right in his face. I tried to intervene but he snapped at me to mind my own business before retiring to his room, slamming the door shut. I had to apologize to Worrywart on his behalf.”
“Yes, I heard that from Worrywart on my way back,” Bilbo said with a sigh, looking at the ground. “I’ve also noticed the weary looks from the other residents of Hobbiton.”
“They probably heard all of the yelling and furniture throwing,” Dwalin began, pausing when Bilbo’s head shot straight up, glaring at him in worry. “Not to worry, He didn’t throw any of your belongings, just things he’s brought from Erebor.”
“And why was he throwing furniture?!” Bilbo questioned while he looked around, finally noticing that all the Erebor furniture was gone.
“Just bouts of rage that suddenly fell upon him,” Oin began rather loudly. “One minute he was fine then the next furniture starts flying. He even took my new ear trumpet dropping it to the ground and stomping on it before chucking it into the fireplace.”
Bilbo frowned at this noticing that Oin was using his old ear trumpet that had been stomped on during their first mission together in Mirkwood. But when he thought it couldn’t get any worse the others proved him wrong.
“He even threatened Bifur,” Ori whispered, watching as Bilbo’s eyes widened as he turned to him, he placed a hand on Bifur’s shoulder as he spoke. “He accidentally bumped into Thorin when he walked out of his room. He grabbed him and said that he would stick another axe through his skull if he did that again.”
Bile started to form in Bilbo’s throat as his blood ran cold. Thorin was a lot of things, he could get annoyed with the group and had anger issues here and there. But he never threatened to do such a thing to his company, let alone Bifur, who was sensitive about his wound. He looked around at the company before him, starting to notice how tired and beaten down they all looked. He then felt as Frodo suddenly clutched his shirt hiding into him upon hearing these others talk about his uncle. He began to rub circles into Frodo’s back holding him close to comfort him as he listened to the others.
“And-And he’s been like this the whole time?” Bilbo questioned looking at all the Dwarves until his eyes landed on Balin.
“Aye lad,” Balin sighed, running his hands through his beard, a frown lay bare on his lips. “And it seemed to only get worse as the days went on.”
“But that’s not even the weird part,” Kili began causing Bilbo to look at him in confusion. The young dwarf then looked at Balin, motioning to Bilbo. “Tell the weird part.”
“Every time he goes into his fits of rage he would suddenly just… Stop.” Balin whispered with a frown causing Bilbo’s eyebrows to knit in confusion.
“Stop?” Bilbo asked receiving a nod from the dwarf causing him to shake his head in confusion. “What do you mean stop?”
“Like the rage just suddenly… stops,” Balin answered honestly, shaking his head with a shrug. “Almost like he… snapped out of it.”
“When he yelled at us, he suddenly stopped in his tracks and looked as confused as we were,” Fili explained motioning to himself and his brother. “He quickly apologized to us before leaving the room.”
“Oh yeah, he did the same when threatening Bifur,” Ori concurred receiving a nod from Bifur. “He looked just as appalled as we did and he was the one who said it. And he looked ashamed when he broke Oin’s hearing trumpet but he’d quickly leave for his room after.”
“When he was throwing furniture around, he would stop mid-throwing and yelling,” Dwalin whispered with a frown letting out a sigh. “He looked as if he hadn’t realized what he was doing until he was in the middle of doing it.”
“He was fine on second, then he would rage, then look shocked that he was even mad in the first place,” Kili whispered rubbing his shoulders as he looked down. “It’s rather unnerving to see.”
“It’s gotten to the point that he hasn’t left your guys’ room in days,” Balin whispered causing Bilbo to turn to him in worry. “We tried to bring him food to his room, but he would always snap to leave him alone, even throwing the food at us before slamming the door shut,” He watched as Bilbo’s eyes grew wide at that causing him to look at the ground. “We just decided to leave the food at his door and it worked the first few days of his seclusion, because there were empty bowls and plates left outside his door but now he hasn’t opened his door in days even for food. I fear that he hasn’t eaten a bite of what we offered.”
Bilbo listened to the dwarves in disbelief, worry, and confusion swirling in his gut and mind upon what he heard. None of this made any sense, everything was fine when he left Thorin for his journey. The Thorin he left was nothing like the Thorin he was hearing right now. Thorin would never be cruel to his nephews and his company. Thorin would never throw furniture or food in a fit of rage or threaten harm to anyone, let alone one of his kin. But what worried him and confused him the most, was the fact that Thorin would suddenly snap out of it, like it never happened at all.
The others noticed Bilbo’s internal struggle, the hobbit going silent for a long time, causing the others to look at each other in worry. Dwalin decided to break the silence and break Bilbo from his thoughts. ”What’s on your mind, Master Baggins?”
Bilbo looked from Dwalin to the ground shaking his head as he spoke. “This isn’t normal behavior. Especially for Thorin. He hasn’t been like this since-.” Bilbo froze, his eyes widening as a chill went down his spine. He slowly looked up at the others. “You don’t think his… sickness… has returned… Do you?”
The others froze at Bilbo’s question, knowing that he was referring to Thorin’s gold sickness when he was king under the mountain. The others thought it over their worry only growing at said thought before Balin got their attention.
“No I don’t think so. Gold sickness brings more emotions than just anger, mostly paranoia and greed,” Balin answered but his frown deepened as he looked at Bilbo. “But I fear that whatever this is… it is much worse than gold sickness.”
Bilbo went pale upon hearing this, the teacup he picked up with his free hand during their talk beginning to shake as his arm trembled causing Fili to take the cup from him while Kili rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, looking at their uncle in concern but he was too out of it to notice. Thorin was cruel when under the influence of Dragon sickness. The greed and paranoia were eating him alive from the inside out, so that he was too far gone to notice the pain and turmoil he was causing his company and Bilbo. So what could be much worse than that going on with his husband? And more importantly, could they pull him back from it this time? Bilbo realized that he couldn’t handle it any longer so he patted Frodo’s head before gently putting him down and motioning for both his nephews to let him go as he got up from his chair.
“Uncle Bilbo?” Kili asked in confusion, his frown deepening as the hobbit began walking from where the dwarves were sitting. “Where are you going?”
“I thought it was obvious,” Bilbo began as he tried to walk past the sitting dwarves that were watching him closely. “I’m going to see my husband.”
“That might not be a good idea, Uncle Bilbo,” Fili said as he and his brother scrambled from their sitting spot both rushing past Bilbo blocking the doorway that led to Thorin and Bilbo’s room, causing the hobbit to huff in annoyance. “Uncle’s anger seemed to have only gotten worse as the days went on and we don’t know how worse it’s gotten.”
“We don’t know how he would react with you,” Kili whispered resting his hand on his arm. “I fear he may harm you upon seeing you.”
“Wh- harm me? Come on, boys,” Bilbo let out a nervous chuckle looking between the two princes. “This is Uncle Thorin we’re talking about. He may be going through a rough patch right now but he wouldn’t hurt me. I mean worst he’s ever done was almost throw me over the ramparts but he’s never done anything worse than that.” Obviously, that was the wrong thing to say because his nephews’ eyes widened with fear and they began to use their arms to block the door.
“Oh come now, he’s not going to harm me,” Bilbo argued trying to push past the two dwarves but because they were dwarves so of course they wouldn’t budge. “Now move aside!”
“Boys, you can’t keep Bilbo from his one forever,” Balin began getting both the young dwarves’ and Bilbo’s attention. “He’s going to have to see him eventually… And hopefully after seeing Bilbo back he may go back to normal.”
“Yeah, but what if he doesn’t?” Kili frowned, still blocking the way so that Bilbo wouldn’t pass.
“We won’t know until he tries,” Balin answered as he walked up, resting a hand on Kili’s arm, gently pushing it down off the door frame. The young dwarf looked at him with worry in his eyes so he moved his hand from his arm to his shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. “You can’t keep Bilbo away from Thorin forever. He may help get Thorin back to normal. You want that don’t you?”
Kili frowned a stern look in his eyes as he looked from Balin to Bilbo who had his eyes on him in question, waiting for his answer. His features softened as he let out a sigh casting his eyes to the ground and moving out of the way, his brother following in suit as Kili whispered. “Yeah, I do.”
“Don’t worry,” Dwalin began, as he walked up to the three resting a hand on Bilbo’s back causing the hobbit to jump. “I’ll be right outside their door. If I hear any scofflaw, I’ll come running.”
“It shouldn’t come to that,” Bilbo whispered as he scrunched his eyes and nose looking up at Dwalin but the dwarf seemed to have his mind already made up. So he let out a sigh, turning to the young dwarf princes who still looked at him in worry. He gave them a reassuring smile resting a comforting hand on their shoulders watching as they rested each side of their faces on the top of his knuckles before he let go, both letting him pass this time.
Both Bilbo and Dwalin walked down the west hall, the dwarf following Bilbo close behind as the hobbit took the lead, walking with quiet steps becoming anxious the farther he walked down the hall taking a left toward his bedroom, feeling as though it had gotten darker the longer he walked down the hall. Finally, he made it to his and Thorin’s bedroom door which was shut, and what he saw made the hobbit frown.
There was no light coming from under the door meaning there were no candles lit on the other side so Thorin must have been sitting in the dark. A single bowl and cup were sitting on a tray on the floor in front of the doorway seemingly untouched since there was still food and ale inside. He listened closely, pressing his ear on the door to see if he could hear movement on the other side but it was deathly silent. He then turned around toward Dwalin, about to ask him a question when he noticed that he had his axe drawn, holding it up like he was ready to fight off a warg on the other side of the door. A bored expression formed on the hobbit’s face as he looked from the weapon to the dwarf. “Now is that really necessary?”
“Just a precaution, lad,” Dwalin whispered looking from the door to Bilbo his grip tightening on the axe as he cracked his neck. “If it goes sideways in there. Let out a yell and I’ll come running.”
Bilbo still thought having a weapon out was still a bit much but he gave the dwarf a nod regardless before turning back toward the door. He stared at the door for a long time, mentally preparing himself before opening. The hobbit didn’t know why he was so nervous but after all that he’s been told by the dwarves, it had him on edge. He silently hoped that all that he was told wasn’t actually true, or that the dwarves and Worrywart were exaggerating. That, or he hoped that whatever was going on with Thorin would be either gone or better once he saw that the hobbit was safe and sound. He really hoped that was the case.
After a long pause, Bilbo let out a sigh and with a newfound determination, he reached for the doorknob and gave it a twist hearing the door click open. He then slowly opened the door hissing silently as the door began to creak louder and louder as the door hinges moved. Once it was opened enough the hobbit stuck his head in between the cracked door, looking around the room for any sign of life. A frown formed on Bilbo’s face as he saw the state of their room. It was very dark in there, the light of the morning sun shining through their window being the only source of light illuminating the room enough to see their bed sheets scattered on the floor. Some furniture was upturned like someone had bumped into them though they weren’t broken so he must not have thrown them in a fit of rage. He looked around the room for his husband but the dwarf was nowhere in sight, almost as if he had vanished out of thin air. Before walking forward, he turned to Dwalin motioning for him to stay put causing him to nod in response. After he slowly walked into the room silently closing the door behind him with a soft click.
Once the door was fully closed, Bilbo turned back around to see that the room was still empty, prompting him to take cautious steps and since he was a hobbit, he was able to sneak quietly around his room as he looked. But the more he looked, the more he realized that his husband was not there, a frown forming on his lips as he awkwardly looked around himself then under the bed. His eyes grew wide with worry as he patted himself down fearing that his husband had found out about the ring and was now wearing it but as he reached into his coat pocket, he let out a sigh of relief when he felt the familiar piece of metal still there. But that still left the hobbit confused about his husband’s whereabouts. He was about to call out to Dwalin when the door that led to his study suddenly burst open.
The hobbit quickly turned toward the door in shock, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when he saw that it was his missing husband, Thorin Oakenshield. He watched as the dwarf paused mid-entry entering the room his eyes landing on him, a look of surprise and warmth in them, causing the hobbit to smile.
“Thorin.” Bilbo couldn’t help but whisper, glad to finally see his husband after so long. However, his smile fell when Thorin’s whole demeanor changed.
Within seconds, Thorin’s warm gaze hardened into something colder and calculated, his lips turned downward as he lowered his head, his eyes glaring as they scanned the hobbit up and down.
“Well, look who’s back.” The dwarf finally spoke shutting the door behind him with a bit of force causing the hobbit to jump.
Bilbo had hoped to hear the sweet voice of his lover once more after being devoid of it for so long. But now upon hearing it, there was a nip to it, being as cold as his gaze. He kept his eyes on the dwarf as he walked further into the room, his heavy boots stomping on the hardwood floors loudly, matching the sound of his growing heart rate.
“Yes I uh-,” Bilbo began clearing his throat to stop it from shaking as his smile returned his, eyes still on Thorin as he spoke. “I’ve returned, like I’ve promised.”
“Hmm, surprised you could make it out there on your own,” Thorin whispered, his tone almost sort of mocking in a way, reminding Bilbo of when they first met, when he called him a grocer. Only this time it was more cruel somehow and Bilbo didn’t like it one bit.
“Yeah, well… I’ve uh learned from the best.” Bilbo tried with a warm smile motioning toward his husband, trying to ignore how Thorin began circling him almost like a predator with its prey.
“Not well enough.”
Bilbo frowned at this, the dwarf’s eyes finally leaving him as he walked toward the window, beginning to stare out of it. A lump began to form in Bilbo’s throat the longer he stared at Thorin, whose shoulders were tense and his posture hunched which was very unlike him. Also, his behavior was worrying Bilbo by the second. Thorin should have been clinging to him by now, peppering him with tons of kisses after being away for so long. But now, he was distant and curt with him.
“Thorin?” Bilbo began gently, watching as Thorin tensed at his name. “Are you alright? Is something wrong?”
“Now why would anything be wrong, Halfling?” Thorin’s voice was low, the same mocking tone returning which left a bad taste in Bilbo’s mouth and his stomach in knots. Thorin had never called him halfling in a long time, knowing that Bilbo didn’t like being called half of anything so hearing it now hurt a bit. He then turned back to the Hobbit, his gaze frigid as he stared at him. “Besides everyone not leaving me to my own devices in peace?”
“Well I uh, heard some pretty disturbing things from the others,” Bilbo kept a watchful eye on Thorin who averted his gaze but was now beginning to walk around the room, beginning to circle him as he spoke though his gaze looked fierce now but he tried to ignore it. “First I hear that you were-,” He began to fidget with his dress shirt sleeve looking from the ground to Thorin turning with him to gauge his reaction. “You were rather rude to Mr. Worrywart, when he brought you vegetables from his garden. He’s very worried about you-.”
“Old fool should mind his own business if he knows what’s good for him,” Thorin spat bitterly, ignoring the look of shock in Bilbo’s eyes as he began to pace. “I’m tired of these nosey, needy, bintargun hobbits. Always needing my help because they can’t find their way around a forge and are always in my business!”
“Thorin, you chose to be a blacksmith for the shire, of course, they are going to come to you for help,” Bilbo disagreed, watching as the dwarf turned to glare at him before scoffing, going back to pacing. “And they are our neighbors and have grown very fond of you, I might add.”
He waited for a reply from the dwarf, but the other just continued to pace his fist clenched tightly to his sides. Bilbo let out a sigh shaking his head as he motioned toward the door. “Then I’m told you yelled at your nephews. Sure they can be a bit rambunctious and get on your nerves but what you said to them is out of line-.”
“What I said was nothing far from the truth,” Thorin stopped pacing as he pointed toward the door ignoring the angered look in Bilbo’s eyes when he spoke. “They are nothing but ungrateful brats, unable to take my place on the thrown because they were too weak and scared to take it.”
“How can you say that when you’re standing right here, with no crown upon your head and far away from the thrown of Erebor,” Bilbo felt his anger growing, his fear slowly dissipating the more he spoke. “Last I checked you couldn’t take the thrown either so you have no right nor room to judge them!”
Thorin just sneered turning from Bilbo as he began to stare out their window his fists planted on the windowsill but Bilbo continued.
“Then I learn you threatened Bifur and broke Oin’s hearing trumpet,” The hobbit added, feeling brave enough to stomp toward the dwarf standing right behind him as he motioned toward the door. “Not to mention breaking furniture in a fit of rage.”
“I only did that because I’m surrounded by idiots who I can’t seem to get a moment of peace from!” Thorin berated now clenching the windowsill tightly in his grasp his back still turned to Bilbo’s whose features softened while he spoke coldly of the company. “Always yelling and singing constantly. Leeching off of me, always looking to me for answers! Well, I’m done with them,” He then scoffed as he turned toward Bilbo his smile dark, his tone mocking while he turned away once more. “The company of Thorin Oakenshield… They’re nothing but burdens I will no longer continue to carry. I care nothing for them.”
“I don’t believe that,” Bilbo whispered shaking his head in disbelief at Thorin’s words. He watched as the dwarf lowered his shoulders beginning to draw inward causing him to reach up, resting a gentle hand on Thorin’s arm, ignoring how the other tensed at his touch. “Thorin, I know you don’t really mean-.”
“What do you know, halfling!?” Thorin veered suddenly as he faced Bilbo, glaring at the hobbit just as he pulled his hand away, clutching it close with a look of shock and slight fear in his eyes. The dwarf began to stomp forward, making Bilbo back up, almost stumbling over his feet as he did so but he only continued forward. “You’re just as bad as they are! In fact, you might be worse. At least they had their uses! Don’t know how to fight, always getting caught, getting in my way. I always had to save your sorry hide. You had been a burden the moment you left this shire all those years ago and you continue to be a burden now!”
“Thorin,” Bilbo breathed, his eyes becoming glassy and his heart feeling as if it’s breaking while he continued to back away until his back hit the door while the dwarf still stomped toward him. “I don’t know what’s happening but I know you don’t mean what you’re saying. Whatever is wrong, we can try and-,” The hobbit let out a yelp as Thorin suddenly slammed the side of his fist on the door over Bilbo’s head causing him to cower slightly, looking into the dwarf's eyes. No longer the warm eyes of his husband but a cold stranger and this stranger was angry.
“What is wrong is I wish to be left alone but having to deal with you sorry lot,” Thorin growled his fist clenching on the door, ignoring the growing fear in the hobbit’s features as he leaned forward, glaring at Bilbo with a sneer. “So you and the others best leave me be.”
Bilbo was about to protest, to demand an explanation for Thorin’s horrid behavior when the doorknob suddenly twisted while the door swung open simultaneously. This caused the hobbit to almost fall backwards when the rough hands of Dwalin suddenly caught him before pulling him out of the room pulling him behind him as he aimed his axe toward the door in case Thorin tried to attack. However, Thorin just slammed the door shut, leaving them both alone in the hallway.
Dwalin sighed in relief as he placed his axe back to his side before checking Bilbo over, a frown on his face as the hobbit’s wide eyes never left the door. He took note of Bilbo’s chest rising and falling at a fast rate as he clutched his chest. The dwarf hesitantly rested a hand on the hobbit’s shoulder, looking him over in concern. “You alright laddie? Did he harm ya?”
Bilbo didn’t answer him, his wide eyes still on the door as his heart rate began to rise. Slowly, the hobbit made it to his feet as he gently pulled from Dwalin’s grasp fixing his outfit with shaky hands as he began to hastily walk down the hall.
“Master Baggins?” Dwalin tried, following him with a look of concern in his features when the hobbit remained silent.
They both quickly walked down the west hallway making it to the atrium. Bilbo turned toward the right as he walked his body turning toward a door that led to the same study connected to his and Thorin’s room now realizing that the door was shut which was always left wide open.
Dwalin looked from the door to a now pale hobbit who was backing away from the door before quickly turning around and heading down the east hall beginning to use the walls as support which only worried him more causing him to reach out for him. “Master Baggins, what happened in there?”
“Mm-mm Nope,” Bilbo whispered waving up one finger at Dwalin as he shook his head feeling like he was going through the five stages of grief, still heavy on denial while heading down the hall toward the parlor. Once they made it to the parlor, the hobbit froze when several eyes of the company were on him.
“Uncle Bilbo!” Kili exclaimed as he hopped up from one of the chairs, his brother and little cousin Frodo following closely. However, they freeze at the state their uncle is in causing them to frown. “You alright?” He asked waiting for an answer when Bilbo’s mouth opened then closed, looking like a fish out of water.
“What happened?” Balin suddenly asked getting Bilbo’s attention. “What happened with Thorin?”
Bilbo went pale as he looked between the dwarves, shaking his head as he reached into his pocket, clutching the stone that his loving husband had given him, only his loving husband was no longer in their home. He looked at the others in distress, watching as they paused while he shook his head. “That’s not Thorin,” Bilbo whispered causing the others to freeze in shock. “That’s not my husband.”