Work Text:
"Attention, citizens of the kingdom of Lythandra! Today, with the sun at its highest point on this harmonious day, it is my honor to announce the engagement of our charming, kind, and cheerful prince, the heir to the throne, Yoichi Nagumo! His Majesty will celebrate this union with Princess Shimada Atari of the kingdom of Solmyria in seven days at sunset! The celebration will be open to the public, so all the inhabitants of this kingdom are invited to participate!" the spokesperson announced the welcome news from the castle balcony, with the king and prince behind him confirming the truth of the announcement.
The cheers of the citizens were immediate, and soon after, the whole town began to celebrate the news. Prince Yoichi smiled and waved to everyone from his position on the balcony, with his gentle characteristic smile. It was clear to the people that the prince was happy to announce the news. At twenty-six years of age, malicious rumors had spread throughout the kingdom upon learning that the heir to the throne was still unmarried, and now, with his engagement confirmed, everyone believed that only prosperity awaited the people with this commitment.
But Shin knew the prince well. He could see the shadow of his bangs darkening his gaze, taking away what little spark his giant black eyes could muster, leaving behind two lifeless black holes. His posture was rigid, his shoulders even trembling from the tension exerted on them, as if at any moment his muscles would tear from the force exerted. Shin knew him well, having grown up alongside him, and he knew that every round of applause he received in celebration of his marriage was another bar added to the cage that was his life.
Yoichi's engagement was a matter the prince had been avoiding since he was twenty-one. His father, the king, had tried in vain to arrange dates, dances, and chance encounters to encourage him to choose a fiancée. However, none of them prospered, and the monarch himself did not press too hard; his health, still strong thanks to the kingdom's Lunar magicians, allowed him to postpone concerns about succession. But in recent years, something had been changing. A threat that had previously been of no concern to the kingdoms on the north coast was now becoming a real danger. A kingdom, born just over two decades ago on the south coast, had begun an invasion of its southern neighbors. The first reports, which began seven years ago, assured that the southern kingdoms had the invaders under control, but a year ago new news reached the king's ears: all the southern kingdoms had fallen, and there was nothing left to preserve.
The eastern kingdoms had begun to strengthen their defenses and, fearing the inevitable invasion that awaited them, formed alliances, and arranged marriages to unify their kingdoms and gain greater military power to face this threat. The king began to fear that the invasion would continue, so over the last year, tension in the kingdom had been mounting. The freedom that Prince Yoichi had once enjoyed began to be taken away from him little by little, and the arranged marriage just a month ago was proof of that.
Shin, as a Solar mage and in charge of protecting the prince, could do nothing more for him than always ensure his safety. But something inside him ached to see the always cheerful and playful prince now empty, as if he were beginning to be just a shell of the person he knew.
Nagumo's gaze shifted away from the attention of the people who were still celebrating their union, and for a moment, his eyes met Shin's. Both pairs of black eyes looked at each other for a long second that seemed like hours, and without the need for words, they conveyed everything they felt.
“Shin,” the king's voice at his side interrupted the exchange, and for a moment it seemed as if all the air around them froze, the voices fell silent, and he could only be aware of the king's strong presence at his side. “I know you're thinking that this was a hasty decision and that perhaps I'm making a mistake by announcing my son's engagement so soon.”
“...I would never question your decisions, You Majesty.” his voice came out more tense than he expected, but he refused to take his eyes off the prince. After all, his job was to always watch his back.
“I know you won't,” his hand rested on his shoulder, holding him more firmly than usual. “And I also know that you won't do anything to prevent the prince from going through with this marriage. It is essential for the security of our kingdom that Yoichi marries the princess of the kingdom of Lythandra, and I have complete confidence that you will guide the prince down the right path. This wedding is not a decision, but his obligation. Keep that in mind, and make sure he keeps it in mind too.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
He could feel the king's gaze intensely upon him, and Shin could do nothing but swallow hard, feeling the pressure on his shoulders. He was a simple magician; any misplaced gesture or comment was a sure trip to the gallows, and even though he was not afraid to die, he feared adding more nails to the prince's coffin.
The cheers could still be heard in the village, even though the news had been announced more than a couple of hours ago and the sun was now completely hidden on the horizon.
Shin, standing in the middle of the castle's enormous library, continued to study even though he already knew every word of the book in his hands by heart, but rereading it brought him peace of mind at times like this. As a child, he had never been a fan of studying, but living with his adoptive father, a retired Solar mage, Mr. Asakura had taken it upon himself to give him all the basic education he needed to become a court mage. His study sessions were always intensive, and when he grew up, he developed a certain aversion to them, perhaps because his teenage brain had simply fried after all the books Asakura had forced him to read at the age of twelve.
But when Asakura died, Shin kept all the books that belonged to Asakura and memorized them from cover to cover, and over time he realized that it wasn't studying he hated, but not having his father's company by his side.
He wasn't the only magic user at court. There was an entire division headed by an Abbot, whose task was to distribute magicians to different strategic points in the kingdom according to their affinities. Most users of Solar magic were assigned to maintain the kingdom's great barriers, capable of erecting a shield that protected it from external threats. Others, like him, served as personal guards to royal or noble families, as with their power they could create individual, temporary barriers to deflect or block any attack directed against royalty. On the other hand, users of Lunar magic were mostly assigned to healing tasks: some prepared potions capable of alleviating complex illnesses, others accelerated the recovery of wounds on the battlefield, and the most skilled were appointed as exclusive caregivers to the royal family, watching over their health with delicate and precise spells.
Ordinary citizens believed that being part of the kingdom's security was an easy job, but for Shin and many other magicians, it was nothing more than a form of slavery. They were treated as mere tools, forced to always maintain the protection of the royal family. Shin considered himself lucky to serve as a simple guard for the prince, but his companions were not so fortunate, many having to work long hours from dawn to dusk, without respite or rest.
Sometimes, on nights like these, Shin understood why Asakura decided to abandon his position in the royal family and live on the outskirts of town as just another outcast. And many other times, Shin didn't understand why he decided to follow the path that Asakura had rejected at the time.
“Shin~, did you miss me?” Familiar arms wrapped around his waist from behind, but Shin didn't bother to turn around to see who it was.
“Prince Nagumo, I told you to stop doing that.”
“We're not in public, you can call me by my name.” He could feel the clear pout on the prince's face, but Shin refused to turn around and face him. He knew that if he did, he might give in to all the prince's whims.
He put the book he was holding back on the bookshelf and gently untangled the arms around his waist, looking for the space he needed to face Nagumo.
Asakura died when Shin turned eighteen, and not knowing what to do with his life after the departure of the only father and relationship he had, he decided to approach the castle to ask for a position on the magic committee. Asakura's teachings gave him a clear advantage over the other candidates, and after only a year of constant training, he was assigned the task of being the protector of the prince, who was twenty-two at the time.
One of the most difficult things he had to deal with at eighteen was trying to put up with Prince Yoichi. For Shin, who grew up with only the company of his overly serious and unfunny father, Nagumo was the complete opposite. He was too talkative, too playful, and, above all, too intense. Nagumo always found a way to convince him to carry out his crazy ideas, to drag him along on his nighttime escapades around town, and even to help him evade his marriage in recent years. Nagumo was everything he expected from the prince: capricious, a little selfish, overly carefree, and an idiot to the core.
The second most complicated thing Shin had to do was try not to fall in love with that idiot. But he failed miserably, and now he was suffering the consequences.
“Nagumo, stop acting so carefree. You're getting married and—”
“Don't say it.” A hand slammed into the bookcase behind him, inches from his head, preventing Shin from leaving. The cheerful smile that had been on Nagumo's face earlier had disappeared, replaced by a somber expression, the same expression he almost never used and that generated a deep feeling in his chest, a mixture of fear mixed with unease.
“Not saying it won't make it any less real.” but having lived with him for so many years had made him accustomed to that expression and to anyone he knew.
“You know very well that I can't—I don't want to marry her. I don't care what my father says, and I don't give a damn about this kingdom. I just want...”
“Enough,” one of his hands covered the taller man's mouth, refusing to listen. He knew where he was going with this, but he couldn't go on. “It's your responsibility, you need to fulfill it. I can't—I don't want to be the one to destroy your path to inheriting the throne.”
“Damn it, I don't give a damn about the throne!” Nagumo's hands moved to his shoulders, holding him firmly without hurting him, his dark eyes shining with anger, frustration, sadness. “If you ask me, I will give up everything, the kingdom, the crown, that war. Just say the word, and I swear...”
“Stop being an idiot for a minute!” Shin pulled away from his grip and instead grabbed the front of Nagumo's clothes tightly. He was grateful that no one was in the library at that hour, because otherwise they would have branded him a traitor for speaking to the prince that way. “Are you even listening to what you're saying? Abandon everything? You've gone mad! I can't be by your side the way you want me to be. My only goal is to be your guardian; I'm not allowed to be anything more. So please, stop making things difficult for both of us.”
His voice gradually lowered in volume until it was just a whisper that only they could hear. He felt the moisture in his eyes and how his grip on the other's clothes was becoming weak, without strength, just as his body felt now.
How naive he had been to believe that everything would be fine, that playing kissing in secret and in the corners of the castle would have no consequences for his heart.
A hand then lifted his chin, and allowing himself to be gently manipulated, he gave in to Nagumo's kiss. It was not a hurried kiss, but rather a calm one, a choreography of a gentle dance, a back and forth that they both knew very well, as if their lips had a life of their own because they found the perfect way to fit together. Nagumo's lips were too addictive, like the poison of hallucinogenic mushrooms, making you want more despite the mortality hidden within them. They were that sip of water he took after a long training session, or like the feeling of magic flowing through his veins.
Shin could never get enough of those lips, those same lips that would soon no longer be his, but someone else's.
They pulled apart a few moments later, but their faces did not move away, remaining almost glued together, the warm air colliding on their red cheeks and burning lips.
"Please, ask me to stay with you. Just give me a sign, and we'll run away together, wherever you want, just..." the plea came out softly, like a secret that belonged only to them. A wish that Shin wanted to grant more than anything in the world.
“I have complete confidence that you will guide the prince down the right path. This marriage is not a choice, but his duty. Keep that in mind, and make sure he keeps it in mind too.”
A wish that was not his and never would be.
He pulled away from Nagumo's grip shortly after, feeling Nagumo's hand fall limply to his side. A sign of understanding, but one that still hurt.
“You are the prince, I am just a magician. I have nothing to offer you. Please fulfill your destiny, and I will fulfill mine.”
He turned and finally left the library, but a part of him remained locked within those four walls. Nagumo did not follow him, and perhaps that was for the best.
The days and nights passed, and the night of the ball arrived.
Many villagers attended the ball, as did the noble families who came to give their blessing to the next royal couple. The hall shone in all its splendor as never before, the floral decorations gave a feeling of life, and the hundreds of fabrics hanging throughout the venue matched the elegance of the chandeliers shining more brightly than ever.
The royal hall was more beautiful than ever before, but everything seemed so gray to his eyes.
Nagumo, from his seat next to the king's throne, watched the guests arrive little by little. In another situation, he would have liked to be part of the grand ball, going here and there throughout the hall, looking for his next victim to take dancing to the center of the great hall. But now, even though it was slowly filling up, he felt emptier than ever.
“Put on a better expression, Yoichi,” the king, his father, warned him from his side. But at that precise moment of the night, the last thing he needed was to hear the man's voice.
“I don't know what you're talking about, father. This is my usual expression.” he could feel the sidelong glance on him, but his own gaze wandered around the hall, looking for one specific person.
“Yoichi,” the tone he used now was one he knew perfectly well, but he was no longer seven years old, and that tone of his father's did not intimidate him as his father believed, "I have given you all the freedom you have ever wanted, I even ignored the fact that you reached the age of twenty-five without getting married. But it's time for you to understand that you're no longer a child, but the next king who will lead this kingdom to victory against the invasion."
“Do you think marriage will solve this invasion, father? Don't be naive, a war isn't won with sticks.”
Before his father could make a cutting remark about his bravado and lack of manners, trumpets sounded throughout the royal hall, and the spokesperson soon made the long-awaited announcement.
“We welcome the Shimada royal family, and with them, Princess Atari! Please, guests, greet the rulers with due respect!” the cheers of the people and nobles were immediate, welcoming the royal family.
But Nagumo paid little attention to his presence, his eyes instead moving to one person in particular who was entering the ballroom. Shin, dressed in the official robes that wizards were required to wear for important events in the kingdom, stood out among all the wizards summoned to protect the ballroom from sudden attacks. The pale blue tone highlighted his blond hair, and his hard black eyes, alert to any disturbance, were the most beautiful thing Nagumo had ever seen.
During those days, Shin continued to fulfill his duties as Nagumo's personal guard, but both could feel the tension that lingered between them after that night in the library. Perhaps Nagumo was selfish and a little masochistic, because despite knowing Shin's refusal to stay by his side, he couldn't help but want him close at all times. He had become too accustomed to his company, to telling him silly jokes that drove the magician crazy, and above all, to those smiles he gave him, his looks full of so much feeling, and his lips connecting with his, dancing in a secret dance that only they shared.
Nagumo was selfish, because even though he knew his wedding was only a few days away, he couldn't let Shin go.
"Go to your fiancée and greet all the guests. Let the whole town know that your marriage will be a blessing for this kingdom.
"Maybe it's a blessing for everyone else, but for me it's a curse."
"What you believe doesn't matter anymore. Your right to choose ended the moment you were born into royalty, Yoichi. All the illusions you created in your head were your own nonsense; this was always and will always be your only destiny. Now, go."
As he walked to where his fiancée was waiting to officially start the dance, a thought crossed his mind as he took the princess's hand.
“Destiny is not set in stone, and as long as I live, I will always choose my own destiny.”
Shin, along with the rest of the solar magic mages, watched the royal hall with a hawk's gaze. Although the latest news from the invaders was that they were in the eastern coastal towns, the king and the council did not want to risk a sudden ambush, so all the mages who were free were summoned to the hall to create a protective barrier if necessary.
Throughout the hall, Shin could count fifteen other mages standing guard. But half of them seemed to be standing by sheer force of will, and it was not difficult to understand that many of them were probably finishing their shift as watchmen on the wall around the kingdom when they were called—forced—to serve for another few hours.
Despite all that the magicians gave to the kingdom with their abilities; many noble families took advantage of the peace pact between the magicians and the common people to extort them into working twice as hard as an ordinary villager would. It was an injustice, the entire magical community knew it, but they couldn't leave or abandon everything either, because there was still a lot of stigma surrounding wizards. Many villagers, especially the older ones, still frowned upon wizards, believing that their powers were cursed gifts that could destroy kingdoms in the blink of an eye. And since they couldn't get normal jobs, magicians were forced to work in exploitative situations inside the castles, because between living adrift without knowing when they might die at the hands of angry villagers and living in a castle with a roof, food, and a few silver coins, the decision was obvious, despite the drawbacks that might exist.
The peace pact, as he remembered Asakura telling him at the time, was a pact made a hundred years ago to prevent ordinary people from hunting wizards and to prevent wizards from misusing their powers against ordinary people. But over time, that pact gradually began to turn against the magicians, as the kingdoms, realizing that the magicians could not defend themselves because of this pact, began to use them as tools, claiming that it was a way to harness their powers and that everyone benefited. Asakura had said that it was a fallacy and pure lie, and that this was one of the reasons that led him to live in isolation and take care of an orphaned wizard child.
As Shin grew up, he realized that what Asakura had told him was true. He could feel and hear the comments of the townspeople every time he accompanied Asakura to town to fetch supplies, but he had learned to ignore them, knowing that the people's dislike stemmed from fear of the unknown. When he started working with the prince, he had initially expected to be treated like a mere servant, just as all magicians were treated, but Yoichi was... different.
Nagumo never treated him differently, nor did he ever make a nasty comment about his powers or his blood; he simply treated him like an acquaintance, a friend. He defended him from all the malicious comments of the other nobles, respected him as the strong mage he was, and never made him feel inferior because of the blood that ran through his veins.
Shin then thought that if perhaps Nagumo had treated him differently, if he had kept his distance and not tried so hard to make him part of his life, maybe Shin wouldn't have grown fond of him, wouldn't have fallen in love with him. And if he hadn't fallen in love, he wouldn't be feeling his insides slowly tear apart as he watched Prince Yoichi dance gently to the musicians' beat with the crown princess.
Maybe it was his fault too. Asakura always warned him that romances between magicians and normal people never worked out, that they were all doomed to failure because, in the end, life had made them different, giving them abilities that were worlds apart.
If he hadn't fallen in love, maybe he wouldn't feel his eyes welling up, wouldn't feel his heart being pierced by arrows too sharp to bear.
Princess Atari was beautiful, her long pink hair flowing freely and her long dress of the same color making her look like a queen. The future queen that Nagumo deserved. The one who would give him the life he could never have had with Nagumo. But that was okay, because as long as he knew that Nagumo had a stable life, everything else was tolerable.
The music for the first waltz ended, and all the guests applauded. Perhaps that was the right thing to do. Shin was just going to continue his mission of being a tool for the kingdom, and if necessary, he would die to protect the prince. After all, that was the only path to which he could aspire.
“Shall we dance?”
Shin had to blink several times to realize that he wasn't dreaming, that the hand in front of him inviting him to dance wasn't an illusion, but that Nagumo was actually standing in front of him asking for his hand to dance in the middle of the hall, where all the guests were staring at the prince in astonishment.
“I'm sorry, Prince, my duty is to guard the royal hall.”
“Don't worry, your partner will cover for you until this dance is over.” Nagumo looked at the magician standing a few feet away from him with a smile that was anything but friendly, and the poor magician had no choice but to accept the request. Shin was about to refuse again, seeing out of the corner of his eye how the king's frown was growing deeper and deeper, but Nagumo beat him to it. “I am the crown prince, so please accept this humble dance as a token of my kindness.”
The music had stopped, and the murmurs sounded like screams in his ears. Even the princess looked between them without saying anything, as if she understood that this matter concerned only them. He knew it was a mistake, that dancing with the prince was anything but a good option, but as Nagumo looked at him with his big eyes, Shin decided, for a moment, that the kingdom could go to hell.
He took Nagumo's hand, and together they made their way to the center of the hall, surrounded by sharp glances and snide comments, but they fell on deaf ears, because the two of them looked at each other as if they were the only ones in the world.
The music started again, and the people around them returned to dancing, but it was obvious that the attention was focused only on them. Nagumo's handheld his waist firmly, and his own hands clung to the taller boy's shoulders as if they were the last barrel of water in the middle of a drought. Their steps were smooth, a choreography they knew by heart thanks to all the nights they danced in Nagumo's room, a strange habit, but one that was most intimate to them.
Their feet moved to the beat of the violin, and their costumes fluttered freely with each turn. The light from the chandeliers gave them a magical glow, as if they were outdoors and their only illumination was the moon, their sole witness. Nagumo, like any prince, was an expert in ballroom dancing, so he was the one who set the rhythm, taking one step to the left, two to the right, and so on endlessly, and Shin, like his faithful deer, followed his rhythm, letting Nagumo lead him wherever he wanted.
Their eyes never strayed, but rather both dark pits stared intently at each other for as long as the music lasted. Their gazes were two deep pits colliding with each other, two black wells that seemed to absorb all the light coming from outside. Shin would never tire of looking at those giant black eyes, the same ones that many said were lifeless, but which for Shin held thousands of feelings that could exist, and which would always be so expressive to his own eyes.
What time was it? Were the people around them still whispering? Had the king already given the order to stop this dance? Neither of them cared; they simply danced until their feet hurt and the air in their lungs was gone. It was too short, but it was also all Shin could ask for.
When he realized that the music had finally ended, he became aware of everything around him and how close their faces were, and how his warm, moist breath hit his lips in the same way as that night in the library, only without the kiss this time.
Shin pulled his hands away and instead pushed Nagumo's chest, pushing him away from him, knowing the huge mistake he had just made.
“This... this was a mistake, the king will be furious, you must go to your fiancée-”
“I don't care about the king or my fiancée. So please don't push me away.”
Voices erupted around them at his words, but the damage was already done. Shin watched as the king rose from his throne and began walking toward them, and for the first time, Shin feared for Nagumo's life and his own, but despite that fear, he never felt regret.
“The king will not forgive you... he will kill me.”
“I will never let him near you. I would rather see this kingdom fall into ruin than let you fall.”
The furious footsteps of the king approaching them made Shin swallow hard. He knew there was no way to get out of this unscathed, but Nagumo looked at him with such confidence that Shin allowed himself to believe there was a happy ending for him.
But before chaos broke out between them and the king, he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, and before he knew it, he had moved his hands to form a magical barrier around the prince and himself. Seconds later, there was a loud bang and the doors to the hall flew open, injuring several guests in their path.
Several magical barriers were also raised inside the hall, most of them to protect the noble families. From his position, he could see the king and Princess Atari being protected by their own magical barriers. The king's furious expression did not waver despite the sudden commotion, and in his gaze, one could see all the feelings running through his mind: anger, frustration, displeasure, disappointment.
The magicians inside the hall tried their best to raise the magical barriers, but it was in vain. The invaders managed to sneak into the hall, and in a short time, most of the magicians and guards were disarmed.
Just as the king was about to order the counterattack, a group entered the hall, carrying the well-known and feared flags that had gained prominence in recent years: they were the troops of the kingdom of Xytherion, the invading kingdom that had conquered the entire southern coast.
“How did they get here?” Nagumo whispered beside him, but Shin didn't know how to answer and instead remained focused on any sudden attack.
The king, with his own magical barrier, approached where the leader of the troops now stood. But something felt wrong about it all, a chill running down his spine, knowing that something was about to happen at any moment.
“We must go, Prince. I will get you to safety.” Nagumo took a moment to look at him before looking at where his father was. It was a difficult decision. Even though Nagumo and his father did not get along, Shin could understand how hard it was to leave him behind, but seconds later his gaze hardened, and he nodded.
“All right.”
“How has such a small kingdom, born less than thirty years ago, achieved such an unparalleled conquest? What do you want? Money, food, slaves? I am willing to negotiate as long as you let my guests live.” the king addressed the leader of the troops, who did not seem impressed with everything the king was offering him.
“Nothing you can offer us will give us what we really want, Your Majesty.”
“May I ask what it is that your desire?”
“We want freedom, for myself and my bloodline.” the enemy leader then raised his arm, and with a single movement, undid the magical barrier that protected the king. The entire hall was stunned, and even the king himself could not believe such a thing. It did not take him long to realize how this small kingdom could achieve such conquests.
“You are magicians,” he said, and with that, a darkness fell over the hall, a terrifying reality.
"That's right, Your Majesty. The peace treaty was broken when you, the nobles and royalty, decided to abuse the trust that we, the magicians, placed in you when we signed that treaty. But enough is enough, and we have decided to end this,” said the leader, a short man, looking around the room before speaking again. “But we are not a cruel nation, so we will give you the chance to decide whether you want to join us in the search for a new peace, as the kingdom of Caeloria has chosen to do, or whether you will instead choose to perish for your beliefs against magicians. The decision is yours, Your Majesty.”
Shin and Nagumo did not hear the king's response, as they entered a secret passage built for situations like this so that the royal family could flee, but from the chaos that could be heard breaking out from behind the walls, the chosen answer must have been obvious.
Shin did not remove the magical barrier that protected them both for fear of being ambushed at any moment. The last thing he would allow was for anything to happen to Nagumo.
After several minutes of running through the corridors, the two reached a gate that led to a clearing in the forest. They went out that way, and Shin used his power to move a giant rock to block the exit, so that if anyone followed them, the rock would prevent them from passing, giving the two of them time to run and hide.
Their breathing was heavy, and their only guiding light was the moonlight. They had nothing but each other. Only then did Shin realize that Nagumo's hand was holding his wrist in a firm grip, as if he feared that if he let go, he would disappear.
"We must go west to the kingdom of Eryndor. We must warn them of the invasion so they can increase security. You need to pull yourself together and pray that Princess Atari has chosen to stay alive, so you can complete your marriage and take power in the kingdom again. We have three days to travel, so let's go." Shin started walking, but the grip on his wrist stopped him after just a few steps.
“Wait, what are you talking about?” Nagumo looked at him incredulously, as if Shin had said the most ridiculous thing ever.
“You must continue your marriage. You can't let your father's legacy die so easily-”
“How many times do I have to tell you! I don't care about the legacy, nor do I care about this kingdom!” He had never seen Nagumo so upset and frustrated as he was now, feeling Nagumo grab him by the shoulders and shake him gently, but without hurting him. "Since I was born, the only thing that has been imposed on me in this life is to follow a damn destiny that I did not choose. I saw my friends die protecting me and I couldn't do anything because that was their destiny. I saw my mother die when I was seven because that was her destiny! I don't want to keep letting a damn destiny choose my life!"
The silence of the forest was broken only by the frustrating and desperate cries of Nagumo, who was trying to make Shin understand that there was nothing else in his life but him. His breathing was heavy, and Shin didn't speak or argue, he just stared at Nagumo.
"Shin, ever since you arrived as my guard four years ago, I knew I couldn't let you go because of some stupid fate. You didn't find my jokes funny, you got frustrated when you saw me being too stupid, and you laughed at my misfortunes. You treated me as an equal and not as a prince, you made me feel alive all these years, as if what I said really mattered. So please take what I'm about to say seriously: I love you, I love you too much to lose you. I want to be by your side, live with you like a normal person, be your protector, your pillar. I won't let anyone hurt you, just as you didn't let anyone hurt me."
"Nagumo, for God's sake, look at me and look at yourself. What can I offer you? How will we live? You're the prince, everyone will recognize you as soon as you set foot in a northern kingdom. How do you expect us to live in peace?"
"You heard it yourself, this kingdom, Caerloria, agreed to form a peace alliance with the kingdom of Xytherion. We can live on the outskirts. No one knows me there, and you'll just be a wizard who fled the exploitation of his kingdom."
That was the reality. The possibility was within his grasp, but something held him back, something made him afraid. What if it didn't work? What if the invading kingdom discovered them and killed them? What if they killed Nagumo, the prince of this kingdom? What if...
The silence between them was heavy, and moments later, Nagumo dropped his arms to his sides. Shin couldn't see his expression hidden behind his bangs, which made the situation worse.
“I won't force you to choose, but I won't follow you either. If you choose to go to Eryndor to warn of the invasion, I won't stop you, but I will go to Caeloria. Please, undo the barrier.”
Shin wanted to refuse, to tell him not to be an idiot and not to risk going alone, but he couldn't, so he simply did as he was asked. Now there was nothing to stop them from choosing the path they wanted.
Nagumo said nothing and instead began his journey eastward. Shin watched his back recede and wondered if all this was worth it. If he went west, his destiny would remain that of a magician under the orders of the royalty. But this time, Nagumo wouldn't be there, there would be no one to accompany him, to understand him. Nagumo wouldn't be there to tell him his silly jokes, to flirt with him when they saw each other, he would never again feel Nagumo's lips kissing him in every corner of the castle, away from the public eye. Nagumo wouldn't be there, the same Nagumo who defied his father, the king, and invited him to dance, even with his fiancée just a few steps away. Nagumo, who fearlessly admitted in a room full of nobles and important people that he didn't care what happened to his kingdom if it meant leaving him.
He wondered if a bunch of strangers, nobles, or kings too busy navel-gazing were worth it.
And the only answer he could come up with was no, they're not worth it.
His quick steps approached Nagumo from behind, and without giving him time to prepare, he threw himself on top of him, both falling onto the forest grass. Shin held Nagumo's face, giving him a kiss that the taller man did not expect, but he quickly caught up to his rhythm. It was a desperate kiss, as if they were trying to suck each other's souls through their lips; a kiss of need, a latent need to never abandon each other; and a kiss full of love, a pure love known only to true lovers.
When they parted, they didn't speak for a long time, until a whisper was heard only by them and their sole witness, the moon.
“Never leave me.”
“I'll never leave you.”