Work Text:
A flame to the stub, then an inhale. Smoke drew into Beomgyu’s mouth, a lit cigarette resting between his index and middle. It was the middle of the night and he was out in the skate park, his skateboard parked up against the ramp. The stars twinkled in the sky faintly. Twinkled like faint, far hope. He sighed, the smoke wisping out of his mouth. His brows furrowed.
Choi Beomgyu, a senior in high school. He’s a loser. Barely any friends, a dim future, failing school, not very loved by his parents after he started skipping class. He wanted out by all means. He uses skateboarding and guitar as a way to cope, to draw his attention away from how heavy his reality felt. After he grew up, he stopped being afraid of a lot of mundane things like bugs and the ocean. Out of the fears he lost, he gained a new one– and it was his biggest fear. The future. He hated how time kept going, infinitely, no matter what. He thought it was cruel how time presses on without even a look towards desperate people, praying on their knees on Sundays.
In a quiet rural home, another senior was studying with an open bag of snacks next to his practice math book. Other books like English and science stacked next to the desk, waiting for their turn to be looked at and practiced in. The college admission exams were in a few months and he needed a start in studying, since he sucked horribly at school.
“Soobin-ah, eat some apples.” His mother walked in, holding a plate of cut-up apples and a fork. She set it beside his snacks. Soobin smiled, thankful for her hospitality. They shared a quiet moment together. “I’ll leave you to study. Fighting!” She said gently, a smile on her lips, a fist in the air for her hardworking son. Soobin could only watch her leave, a confused but appreciative smile on his face. He turned back to the calculus problem he was stuck on for the past hour.
“Aigo-yah…” He sighed as he laid his back down onto the wooden floor, putting a hand over his eyes. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep. Or, even better, play games on his computer. He sighed softly again, a small pout on his lips as he thought about how he could be grinding away. Curse college exams for being so hard. He got up again, looking over at the apples. He took the fork, pitched it into the best looking apple slice, and ate it. Sweet, crisp, as expected.
Choi Soobin. He’s more accepted at school, socially. He’s quiet and shy but works hard. He likes gaming, watching videos, and KARA. He follows other people’s others well and diligently. A strong people pleaser. In the future, maybe he’ll be a teacher. Or a psychologist. He isn’t sure yet, but something that involves supporting young kids. His parents would support him in either and or whatever career he wanted. It didn’t really matter. He wanted to be an idol when he was younger but he missed the timing for it. It was the most heartbreaking realization of his life. It hurt, how growing up and time passing forced him out of his biggest dream. He could’ve had a better life. A planned future. He could’ve had fame, success, companionship. He got up and shut his mind with another apple and went back to studying. The night pressed on.
The next morning came fairly quickly. It was a Saturday morning thankfully, so Soobin could study all day and still have some time for his hobbies. He finished his snacks yesterday so he decided to go to the convenience store to get more. And a soda or two, to keep his mind fresh.
He walked down the road in a basic white tee and black training pants. His slippers were his mothers because he left his pair at school by accident. The spring air felt nice, it wasn’t too hot and the humidity felt just fine. It felt like the water droplets in the air were clinging to his skin, warming his face and body up. The sunshine also felt nice. A warm hug, an encouragement from the skies. The convenience store was just right up ahead.
Beomgyu smelled like teenage boy must and ash. He was hungry and was heading down to the nearest convenience store he could spot. His guitar case was on his back, his hand holding onto the straps so that it wouldn’t fall off his shoulder.
When he entered, the male cashier smiled and greeted him. Beomgyu could only briefly smile back, then turn his eyes away. He didn’t know why he felt the need to, he just did. He started to walk down an aisle, looking at the different items the store offered. Individual sausages, triangle kim-baps, even mini cartons of eggs. Beomgyu sighed and turned into the ramen aisle. Maybe there’d be something he’d actually like.