Chapter Text
I get a feeling sometimes, that I can’t get close enough to you
Sieun had imagined this moment hundreds, no, thousands of times in his head. He’d imagined running up to Suho, embracing him, crying in his arms, holding him tight. He’d stayed awake for so many nights replaying the scenario in his head, fine tuning it repeatedly, obsessing over each and every detail, until it was absolutely perfect.
Now that it was actually happening, Sieun had never felt more frozen. His feet planted in the grass, unmoving, his breath caught in his throat; not from sprinting his way to the hospital, but from the lack of air that came with the sensation of seeing him again.
“Go on,” Baku gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder, and Sieun took a step forward.
It was like time slowed down.
And in that moment, Sieun saw only him.
Three years had passed, yet now that he was in front of Sieun, relaxed in the wheelchair, a familiar grey jacket layered over his hospital gown, and a distant look in his eyes, it felt like just yesterday that Sieun had said goodbye.
Approaching the other boy cautiously, as though he might disappear if Sieun acted out suddenly, Sieun came to a stop, maintaining a safe distance between them. Careful not to get too close; like the other was too fragile for him to handle.
Like a scene from a movie; the other turned his head, his gaze landing on Sieun.
“How’s it going?”
It was the voice that he’d only heard in his dreams, speaking out to him again.
Sieun swallowed, trying to fight down the tears that threatened to leak from his eyes. Barely audible, Sieun hummed affirmatively, chewing on his lips to prevent his chin from trembling. He knew the other wouldn’t hear him. He didn’t have to. He always understood Sieun just from looking in his eyes.
And their eyes always found each other.
From opposite sides of a crowded classroom, from different sides of busy traffic, from where the wheelchair sat and where Sieun stood, they always found each other.
The other boy’s eyes flickered away from Sieun momentarily, shifting to look behind him.
“Who are they?”
“My friends,” Sieun responded, without missing a beat, without taking his eyes off the former.
“That’s good.”
Sieun exhaled, still speechless at the other boy before him. It didn’t feel real.
And then slowly, a smile appeared on the other’s face.
“Well?”
The questioning tone was enough to wake Sieun from his trance, his vision refocusing from tracing the other boy’s edges, trying to burn his image into his memory, back to the other’s eyes.
“Your guardian angel just woke up from a nap.”
A pause. A moment of the boys just looking at one another. Taking in one another.
“Won’t you give him a hug?”
And that was all the prompting Sieun needed.
The tears he had been so desperately forcing back from the moment he’d received the hospital’s phone call came pouring down, and Sieun let them. Forgetting the world around him, Sieun ran forward with a yearning sort of desperation, straight into the arms of his guardian angel.
His Suho.
Sieun melted immediately into Suho’s touch, burying his face into the crook of Suho's neck, wrapping his arms around Suho’s broad back, pulling their bodies close. Even after years, his scent was still just as familiar and comforting. The sound of his heartbeat, the gentleness of his breath, and the familiarity of his body. Of his soul.
After an eternity that felt like only seconds, Suho chuckled softly. “I missed you Sieun-ah,” he whispered, just loud enough for Sieun to hear, his breath hot against Sieun’s skin.
Sieun didn’t respond. He didn’t need to. He just pressed his face deeper into Suho’s shoulder, refusing to let go. That would be more than enough to tell Suho everything he wanted to say.
Suho patted Sieun’s back gently, before gently whispering once more, “you wanna introduce me to your friends now? Do they even know who I am?”
Of course they do. How could they not? Everyone who knows me knows you.
Sieun grunted, still not letting Suho go, and Suho smiled at Sieun’s newfound clinginess.
“Sieun-ah, they might feel awkward seeing us like this.”
“Let them,” Sieun whispered back, disregarding his friends entirely- they could wait. “Five more minutes.”
Five more minutes: allow me to be selfish around you for just five more minutes.