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Pin’s hands grasped at the bedsheets, trying to get a grip on something, anything to understand what just flashed before her eyes. So much happened in just a couple hours, and here she was, laying with Gaty in her arms. She felt like a fool, but in the best way possible; she slowly threw her worries away to the back of her mind, letting it be dealt with in the morning. This was exactly what Gaty was aiming for, right? To stop worrying, let go and focus on the present?
It still felt like something was lingering.
After the heat of the moment slowly dwindled, she couldn’t focus on the present anymore; there wasn’t much to focus on, after all. It was her, Gaty, and the night sky. That’s all she had at the moment, and her mind decided it wanted to play tricks on her. Putting something at the back of your mind doesn’t make it completely forgotten, after all. Her mind slowly wandered back to the fact that they’re losing a member.
She was slowly getting closer with her team, finally getting comfortable and settling in with a new situation, and their plans all got foiled just as she was feeling better about the next stage of the game. Why couldn’t she get that out of her mind? It was bound to happen! She should’ve expected it! Even if she tried everything she could, even if she won all the time, they would be up for elimination at some point!
Honestly? It felt kind of pathetic.
Pin sighed. She needed some kind of diversion from all of this. Tentatively, she tapped Gaty to get her attention.
“Gaty?” Pin mumbled, avoiding Gaty’s gaze.
“Huh…?” She replied groggily, rubbing her eyes.
Pin turned her body to face the window, the night sky leaking through the blankets. “I don’t want anyone to leave,” she finally said. “Everyone on this team…I feel like they understand me more than anyone else ever has. I don’t want to lose anyone.”
She turned back to face Gaty, getting no response. “I- sorry,” she apologized. “I’m repeating the same thing.“
“No, it’s fine,” Gaty pleaded. “I get how that feels. Stuff like this is bound to happen in a competition.” Along with Pin, she moved to lay facing up. “Really, there’s no way to avoid it. There’s bound to be a point where we underperform.” She stood up on the bed. “Doing badly isn’t the end of the world though, is it? We tried, and we didn’t do our best. Don’t push yourself to attain impossible expectations of success, Pin.”
Pin followed Gaty in sitting up in the bed, becoming more clammy and anxious by the second. “But this could hurt our team, Gaty!” She replied, looking uneasy. “If we keep this up, our team will lose all our members!” She slammed her back against the headboard in defeat. “I don’t understand how you keep so calm about this…”
Gaty grabbed one of Pin’s hands, jittery and covered with sweat, before placing it under her foot to help ground her. “Don’t approach everything that doesn’t go right as a failure,” she replied simply, giving Pin a gentle smile. “You succeed? That’s great! You fail? There’ll always be next time.”
Pin took a minute to think about that. Yes, she always had another chance to succeed, but there was always a chance of not making it far enough to try succeeding again. There isn’t always a next time.
“And if there isn’t?” Pin asked.
“Well…” Gaty trailed off. “Really, there’s nothing you can do.” She gazed at the peeking evening sky, glittering with stars. “But the fact that you at least tried should be celebrated.”