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It was a quiet September evening, Ivan and Till sat in the empty football field. Till wasn’t up for a hang out but Ivan had insisted on meeting up with each other after football practice, how clingy.
Till sat with his legs crossed and rambled on about Mizi, the head cheerleader he had a massive crush on,
“She’s the love of my life Ivan seriously!” his face flushed as he realized how pathetic he sounded ranting about a girl who was desperately out of his league. Ivan knew he didn’t stand a chance against Mizi, hell, he had already convinced himself that Mizi reciprocated those feelings for Till.
But that didn’t stop him from admiring Till, gazing at him as his words were drowned out by his gorgeous features. His dark, smeared, eyeliner making his bright teal eyes pop, his sharp jawline and collarbone drove Ivan crazy. Hell, his teeth were perfectly misshaped and straight to produce that heart fastening smile. That smile with his rosy lips, Ivan would die just to feel them against his.
He wouldn’t mind if that was his last sensation. His sharp snaggle-tooth could effortlessly pierce those plush beauties in an instant, sending a rush of his sweet blood onto the latters own pair of lips— he’d never hurt Till like that, he’d never do any of that.
Ivan hadn’t realized the sudden silence before a hand slapped away his,
”Yo, Ivan..what are you doing?” Ivan hadn’t fully processed anything before quickly pulling away from Till, when had he gotten so close?
“I don’t know.” He said calmly, rubbing his hand with a nervous smile. His face was obviously flushed red, a deep pool of shame. Till hadn’t seen this side of him, yes, Ivan was a little more clingy towards him but they were best friends right? It was normal. There wasn’t anything unusual about it.
A warm feeling pooled inside his stomach that quickly shifted to his throat, he swallowed hard as if the guilt would leave that way.
“You know I’m not gay, I like Mizi.” Ivan moved back more. Holding his stomach and nodding slowly trying to give a reassuring smile. Eliciting a horrible reaction from Till, his face was pale. His eyes wide and ashamed at hearing his own words. He wasn’t very good at hiding vulnerability when it came to his Ivan—
When it came to Ivan.
“Yes..I know.” He held the smile for quite some time before the awkward silence caught up to both of them. Till got up without a word and tried leaving before a hand wrapped around his wrist keeping him in place.
“Wait- Til I’m so-“ He was cut off by a slap. His grip loosened as he stayed sat up by his knees, the stinging sensation was nothing compared to the words that left Tills mouth.
”What the fuck dude?!” Till snatched his wrist away as his voice trembled, “I like Mizi, not you! I won’t ever— like you Ivan!” his words had no truth behind them though, and that’s what had scared Till the most.
He didn’t like the way being around Ivan made him feel.
That warm feeling that couldn’t be replaced, he was always himself around Ivan but when it came to confronting his feelings he was weak. He wasn’t a man unless he liked women. He wasn’t anything if not what he was supposed to be.